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  • 22 Mar 2013
    I have written about being invisible on a number of occasions here in Cyrsti's Condo but this one hits close to home.Recently I was invited by a transgender girl friend to go to an equality event in my town.  The event was significant primarily because I didn't even think such an activity could happen in my medium sized town. It's  not necessarily known as the most liberal place in the world.At any rate, the presentation revolved around a film which used Bible interpretations and major real and imagined theologians.  I use the word "imagined" for the right wing bigots who hate the LGBT community. During the movie I counted the times the transgender word was used and came up with a maximum of five times in two hours. Wasn't surprised. Been part of the silent "T" in and out of my own closet. The icing on the cake though was no mention of the transgender word before orafter the event by the presenters.By this time, I was relatively steamed by all of the missing "T" but I knew being upset meant nothing if I didn't do a thing.  So afterward I took up the offer to sign up for the mailing list andasked if I was welcome at all.  Of course then I got the blank "well sure but then again what does that mean look" from the gay and lesbian organizers. Hey, I'm used to that and formulated a plan.I'm heading to the next meeting which I assume will not include the "it's cool to be around gay folks" peeps who were there last night.  I plan on discussing the silent "T" and how ironic it is that there aren't any transgender people in my town of 75,000-according to them.  The highlight of the evening was when a woman stood up and said she would love it if her daughter was a lesbian. I thought, "how about a trans man?"My true goal though are the youth who this group wants to help.  Pity the poor transgender boy or girl who is exposed to this group and is invisible. At the least, I should be able to light a fire under the gay and lesbian leaders of the group and maybe help a lonely kid. I overheard the gay leader tell my friend that he had once met a transgender person in Columbus. Wow!Bottom line:  None of them  have to know me as much as they have to know about me.  I'm not invisible and I do live here.
    4280 Posted by Jessie Hart
  • 28 Jul 2010
    Included in the list of my top 5 asked questions is where do you get your clothes? Followed quickly by- do I do my shopping as a girl? Yes, I do about 90% of the time. As a man, I’m almost as uncomfortable in a ladies clothing store as the next guy. Question 2 is do I use the changing rooms? Not very much…by choice. I’m a diligent bargain shopper. I know my size and what piece of clothing I’m looking for. If a certain clothing item jumps out at me, I grab it! Jeans are a different story. If I see a pair I like, I have to try them on. I’m not smart enough to know all the nuances of sizes and I’m fairly sure genetic women have the same problem. Start with a certain size and move downward! (We hope) I’ve never had a problem asking to use a changing room. After all, I’m a paying customer like the next girl. I’ve never been told there was a problem. If you are a little shy in this department, here are a couple things to remember. Number one, you can become a regular in the store quickly. Some clerks do work on a commission and it is not difficult to establish a relationship with one who WANTS to help you! She can benefit from a monetary or personal point. Obviously you are a different shopper from the norm so be more fun! It gives the clerk a chance to work her "magic" with you! Once the bond has been established, both of you can be more discreet in areas such as the dressing room. If you desire. Number two; observe the interaction between women in these stores. Often the “B” word is too kind! I’ve mentioned this to several of my genetic female friends! Often you treat your same gender really bad! Especially in retail. They agree. Immediately, I’m in for better treatment because I treat the clerks with a friendly respect. What did we learn girls? It is very easy to shop as a female. Fellow shoppers will be so involved in their search for the perfect outfit they are less likely to notice you at all. Treat the clerks with respect and you can become their personal regular quickly. Shopping can be one of the easiest and most enjoyable parts of your life as a girl if you allow it to be! One word of warning. Wear those comfortable shoes if you are planning to “shop till you drop”!Be sure to check out the entire "Cyrsti's Condo Blog!"
    2451 Posted by Jessie Hart
  • 21 Apr 2013
    I believe I have mentioned that I finally stepped up and out by joining my local equality LGBT group.  This is huge in the sense those who talked behind my back will have to find someway else to entertain themselves.   Regardless of the outcome for all of them, I had to do what I had to do. Ironically I became involved in an in depth discussion with one of my long time friends who has stayed in the closet. (I do not begrudge him any of that.) All too quickly we jumped into one of my favorite soapbox topics: Stealth in the transgender culture. Here's how it started. I said I was completely surprised this group had no out transgender person, knowledge of our culture and almost no reference to it.     He said: "Okay, here ya go: (1) I believe that transition is about M to F or F to M paths, and if you chose to take that step you should know a little about the difficulty in getting to the end point. (2) I can see that some percentage of newly arrived F's and M's want to do something aligned with their attained gender and not risk that position by entering politics. That's their choice. On the other hand I don't have an issue with providing a little friendly support to someone on the journey, but I also disdain noisy in-your-face political activity completely."   The last reference was in response to my statement I was going to go to meetings and saying something about the lack of representation. Here is an abbreviated version of my response as I ignored the in-your-face comment:   "As far as the "going stealth" deal goes, I can see both sides of the story. Certainly we all know how incredibly difficult it is to switch genders and each is entitled to take their marbles and go home.  I do believe however that stealth is inherently wrong and will become unique to our generation. (Strictly speaking)  I attribute stealth to not risking yourself at all and it's the same as failing to cover another troop on the live BCT (basic training) range in the Army...but I know that is a bit dramatic. (We were both in the Army and I used it as a point of reference.)   You ask why I think the kids are doing it right? My latest big example was "Devon" on the Katie Couric Show.  I think in a couple of years she too will fade into the fiber of society to live as happily ever after as any of us can but she was totally stealth and still took a moment to come out and pay forward. I think the number of YouTube videos and the number of blogs are a sign of how these kids are building a better future for transgender people of the future. Their generation will change stealth to life on their terms and it just will fade away as a outmoded term. If you deal in semantics they will be going stealth and just living life on the same playing field as anyone else which is all we can ask for.   Now, let me point out of why getting surgery and going stealth didn't work for our generation. Did we indeed just jump from one closet to another? Yes! We did as all of the sudden we are waking up and realizing the transgender populace is the most legally discriminated minority in the country."   As the conversation moved on I used an example of an old mutual acquaintance from the mid 80's.  She went through SRS moved out West, married a man and became a very successful business person. Absolutely one of the most exuberant natural women I have ever met. Back to the chat:   "Susan" of course is the classic good transition example of a transsexual person we both know.  But now if she lived in Arizona and not in another state, all of the sudden she may have to produce a female birth certificate to even pee in a women's room.  If she was born here in Ohio she still can't get her birth cert changed by SRS. Was she mandated to make a statement? No. Should have she? Her call. I'm only using her as an example of my perceived epidemic generational transgender stealth problem.    The kids on the other hand, are realizing they better start screaming to get laws changed because no matter how good they look (Devon) a company can just up and fire them for being trans or can't even find a place to pee.   Before you accuse me of throwing huge rocks in glass houses,  I can rationalize my lack of action by saying I started late and didn't know how far I was going with this and then I get really torn by nights like last night. You know I have never felt I could go stealth no matter how hard I tried-but I could have been there last night. So now what do I do?   You are completely right to ask me why would I jeopardize all of that work over the years? The honest answer is at my age I'm in the home stretch of my life and I know due to very unpleasant circumstances in my life, I'm left with less to lose than others.    So bottom line, I should do some public work before I fade into whatever the next reality happens to be.  If I don't and there is another stopping point in eternity I would have to put transgender inaction in the loss column. My blog, Trans Ohio workshop and the Equality group are efforts to soften the defeat.  I will get back to you on the results!"   As you can tell, I flat out wore the "soap box" out!
    2307 Posted by Jessie Hart
  • 13 Apr 2013
    I can't believe it has been almost a week now since I (yes I) went to Sunday dinner with my gf's father, brother and son.   She has been pushing me to do it for quite sometime now and I finally figured why not? Actually her 15 year old son has known me for awhile and he is quite accepting and brother is a successful professional so I figured two out of three were in the bag. The wild card was Dad.  He is a card carrying NRA conservative 87 year old and carries that go to hell if you don't like me attitude of most guys of that age. Also like most men of that age he can't hear or see too well which helped me out!   He got the ball rolling quickly when we arrived at his apartment and the first thing he said about me was "bring her over here so I can take a better look".  I was a little nervous and wanted to ask if I could take a hit off of his oxygen tank but actually I didn't have to. He did his best to include me in the family conversations.   We soon took off and went to a nearby steak house for dinner and before I knew it the day was over.  Ironically, every time I think my transition process is reaching some sort of plateau something comes along to prove I'm still just getting started.   In some ways, I hope my life always stays this way.  As the old paranoia's of the past encounters with the public begin to fade, I can finally experience the true essence of  the gender I should have always been.
    2155 Posted by Jessie Hart
Society Girl's Personal Blogs 8,825 views Jul 28, 2010

Day to day discussion of  life in the dual world.
Quote of the day: Overheard on one of the "judge" shows on trash tv. One room mate tells another that she has multiple personalities. The woman replies to the other room mate (a TG girl)-
that's funny because "you are a man".
What was she implying? That Barton aka Brook were two different people? lol 

Girls need beer too!

I have observed this on several occasions...but never as clear cut as tonight.
On several occasions (when I have been out with GG's) they have been real aggressive at the bar ordering more drinks.
Tonight I understood why, as the female bartender waited on EVERY guy at the bar before turning her attention to me.
Lesson learned!

 I learned tonight how to post directly to the blog from my cell phone. "Ain't technology grand?"
Womanless Beauty Pageants...Look out "Miss America?"
This contestant in "Kilgore, Texas" recently proved that Texas can provide a few real pretty guys!
Actually these events have been going on for awhile and are now starting to draw attention on the internet.
If you go to the "Femulate" site listed here, the best of the best guys are featured.
As we all know, a look such as this one just doesn't happen by accident.
It is always fun to speculate how much "practice" some of the contestants put into the pageant!

Older (2007) pageant winner. Only info I have is "her" name is Jacquelin.