This is the latest excerpt from my "transgender "How to" Guide.
At times the whole deal will seem
insurmountable, but if you really want to be mistaken for a girl-you
have to get out and learn!
Along the way you will have to learn about learning to use a passable
voice, rest room privileges and other unique female activities.
Before I share some ideas, I'm going to take you through some more places to go and how to network yourself!
Before you decide where you want to go, who are you? If you are a dress and heels girl, you need to inhabit more upscale places.
Let's take an upscale mall for example. There are a couple in my area
that are "throw backs" to the old downtown's of larger cities. The
closest one to me has several eating and drinking places to go to. You
can chose anything from a top end steakhouse, to a British style pub to
light meals and heavy drinking party establishments.
Decide what you are going for. Do you want to just to sit at the bar for
a drink, or do you want to eat a meal and have a drink at a table.
You definitely have to find out if the place you want to go has a real
bar. Some establishments really want to just sell drinks at a table so
there is not a real bar as such. (4 stools and a counter)
If you are the professional girl in heels and hose, you would
fit into the British pub well. It has a large bar and well dressed
professionals. You can blend!
If you are like me, that scene is a little too upscale. You are more
apt to see me in jeans, sweater's and boots in the winter and an
occasional shorter skirt and flip flops in the summer. My spots are the
theme bars with light food menu's.
Networking is the key to acceptance in many of these places. Don't
assume I easily patronize these places it is easy or I'm so passable it
doesn't matter. Neither are true.
Number one (as I've said many times) very few of us pass all the time.
Being Bi-gendered, it's very hard some days to switch genders and not
get exposed. Remember, I have had no surgery or hormone treatments. We
will go over the "agony of defeat" or not passing later.
So this is where the network is your best friend.
When you chose your "bestest" place ever, you need to become a regular. Becoming one is actually very easy. Here are the rules:
1.- Go back on a regular basis so the crew knows you.
2.-Sit at the bar. It may not be a good normal choice for a single girl
but it is a great chance to meet bartenders and other regulars at the
bar. Do not shy away from doing this!
3.-Don't be a bitch! Seems like an obvious point but you want to be a model citizen!
4.-TIP WELL!
OK, let's go back and summarize the obvious so you will be ready for your quiz!
You have chosen a place that fits your personality and clothing style.
You are a model guest! You behave and tip well and mind your own
business. Even if you are read by the crew and you are good people they
will embrace you. You are fun and not afraid to be what you want to be.
Following these rules has helped me to spend countless hours in venues I
want to be in. I get treated in these so called straight places better
than the gay bars in my area. I can also watch my sports on big screens
with other fanatics, enjoy a wide range of draft beer and don't have to
listen to music I hate.
The end result has been my network treats me like a girl and protects me
from those that don't want to. One of the best ways to help with your
acceptance is to have the bartenders greet you by name like you are a
long lost friend.
You must be patient to do this. I have taken years to build up
relationships with crew in some of the places I go. You must expect
problems and deal with them.
Let's go over some of the most unpleasant moments!
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