Here is one many personal looks into the funny and not so funny life on the gender divide! Enjoy!
It may be time to soften your look when-a little girl looks at me and
says to Mom "Look Mommy at the big woman. The big MEAN woman!" At least
she saw me as a woman.
You KNEW it wouldn't work but you tried it anyway. That mini skirt sure
looked good on that teen aged girl. Not so much on you. In that big box
store. In the middle of all those not so upscale shoppers with something
to say.
Maybe
YOU should have asked for her feminine hygiene product? You left yours
in another purse. When the time came to pass another girl test I failed.
Another woman asked me for a spare tampon. I couldn't tell if she was
checking to see if I EVER really needed one, or if she really did.
She was only trying to help! Yet another restroom misadventure. Somehow I
managed to get some TP stuck in my belt in a store restroom. As I left a
woman said "excuse me mam". As I froze in panic, she said " you have a
piece of paper stuck to you belt". Relief turned to extreme embarrassment! Lesson of the day-use ALL the mirrors available.
I CAN'T go dammit! I finally get the magic invitation to go to the
ladies' room from a girl setting next to me at a pub one night. My first
such invite.I didn't have to go but couldn't turn down the chance. Upon
arrival, in adjoining stalls I couldn't pee a drop and wondered if she
noticed. If you don't know, a woman's flow makes a very distinctive
louder sound. Without being too graphic, you have to aim straight down
to duplicate. By the way the girl never said anything and we fixed our
makeup and went back to the bar.
The ship goes down! My new beautiful boots on their maiden voyage. Hair flowing, tight tucked in jeans, low cut sweater
doing my best to look good and sexy! NOT when I slipped and fell.. In a
sports bar. In the midst of a predominately male crowd. I wasn't
planning on leaving until then! No the boots were NOT high heeled
stilettos. A moderate wide heel
is all that was needed to take a fall. There had to be a woman in that
crowd that thought "why was that bitch wearing those boots anyway?"
I think I know what I'm doing? I was shopping for clothes when a well
meaning clerk was positive I need help in selecting female basics. "This
is a bra, these are some panties." Really? I'm fairly sure I'm
standing in front of you dressed totally as a girl so I might have an
idea of how it happened!
It gets worse! One clerk told me " You need to cover up those big old
legs" I calmly told her "at least you can cover legs, how about your
figure?"
I've got you under my spell. Our eyes meet in a crowded room and we just
can't turn away. Is it love or lust or just another clerk in a store.
You guessed right-another clerk. I feel like some sort of hypnotist.
"Look into my eyes!" Oh wait, you already are! What now? I'm flattered,
or scared?
You aren't flustered are you? Were you the bagger in the grocery store
that lost all coordination and vocal skills as you bagged my groceries? I
could just imagine what the female cashier said to him after I left.
Poor guy was just trying to be nice when he volunteered to help take my
groceries to the car! I was just wearing a long sweater, short skirt and
flats. Doesn't everyone?
The fun part about this is, it's a continuing process. My part time girl life is never boring and lessons are never complete.
As you've guessed or already know, crossing the gender boundary and
coming back is huge task. What you take for granted isn't. What you
don't take for granted is.
One thing is for certain. I will have plenty to add to this. In the mean
time, thanks to all the well meaning good people I've met who have helped me on the way.