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Today Ariane drove to Woking to meet Penny B, a Tgirl that I met online. She had posted a general request asking to meet up with anyone, and as she’s near me in Surrey, I thought I’d respond.
We arranged to meet at the Surrey Pride Hub in Woking. This is a welcome and recently-established one-stop service providing information, serving tea and coffee, selling LGBTQIA+ merchandise, offering a meeting space etc. Advertised as open Wednesday to Sunday, 11.00am to 5.00pm, special events on some evenings.
Unfortunately when we turned up at 12.00 today, it was closed. No one answered the doorbell or phone. So there we were, two Tgirls in Woking town centre, deprived of our safe space. What were we going to do? Penny seemed a little nervous – she’s never been to Woking before. As it happens I knew the centre a bit so was able to lead us towards the shops and cafés the other side of the train station.
We didn’t know where would be a friendly place to go, so settled on Wetherspoons as it looked quite busy. We walked in, ordered two coffees and found a table. A few people looked at us but no one said anything. So we sat and talked for quite a while. I learned about her situation – a wife who knew about Penny and was slowly moving towards acceptance.
After that we decided to go walking through the town centre. Penny had a Superdry dress that she wanted to return, so we navigated our way to the store in the Peacocks Centre and she disposed of it. Then our time was up, so we returned to the car park and went our separate ways.
I was pleased that most people took no notice of us. One young man told me I had a lovely outfit – that was nice – but he probably wouldn’t have said that to a cis girl. Our only negative encounter was with white van man who laughed loudly as he drove past.
The experience made me reflect on the appropriate choice of outfit for a daytime outing. If you want to blend in then you have to dress down. We weren’t exactly doing that. I was wearing an above-the-knee jumper dress, leather jacket, ankle boots, and a pearl necklace. All in black. I wanted to look chic but it was possibly too chic for the occasion. Penny was more colourful in a mini-dress, heels and long blonde hair. She’s quite tall anyway. So we probably stood out more than we should. But full marks to the good people of Woking who were too busy doing their own thing to bother us.
This was the first time I’d gone into a bar as Ariane and ordered a drink. I’m glad I did that as it will be easier next time. I wasn’t particularly nervous but it was a case of feel the fear and do it anyway.
And what about the Tgirl encounter? That’s twice this week I’ve spent time with men dressed as women and showing off their feminine side. It still feels a bit strange being with someone who looks (reasonably) female but speaks male. The positive side is that all of us are totally accepting of each other. We have to be, because the rest of the world is either hostile or indifferent.
Interestingly, for me, I didn’t feel as elated afterwards as I thought I might. It was pleasant company and conversation. But I really do prefer the company of women (real women) to that of men who want to be like women. There’s something in my personality that wants to connect with women rather than men. I’m not sure whether this means I’m totally heterosexual, or deep down I really want to be a woman because I’m like them in the way I think about everything and so I relate to women better. It made me wonder what other Tgirls think of me.
Anyway – as a result, I think I’m probably less likely to seek social outings with other Tgirls in future. My future lies in coming out to more real women and spending time with them. Penny is looking forward to an evening at Surrey Swans on Sunday. I used to think I would like to do that, but now I see that it’s more of the same.
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