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Anna-Marie Trindall 's Entries

320 blogs
  • 17 Jan 2008
    I wish i could say i'm happy right now but if i'm honest i'm not happy at all. Charllet left to go home this morning after spending the last 9 days here with me, & i have to say we had a wonderful time as always. Just doing the normal everyday things while she was here gave us both a lot of pleasure & lots of memories  too. We did get over to Norwich on saturday for the day which was fun cos neither of us had been there before. Spent ages wandering round the chapelfields shopping centre, stopping at one of the many cafes for a drink. But as the saying goes all good things have to end eventually & thats what happened this morning at 6.40am when her train left. Through the tears, i stood & watched until i could no longer see the train's lights. I had been trying so hard not to cry but i never have been one for bottling up my feelings......but thats just me. All day long i've had this song by aerosmith in my head & the first few lines sum up just how much Charllet really means to me...."I could stay awake just to hear you breathing watch your smile while you are sleeping While you're far away & dreaming I could spend my life in  this sweet surrender I could stay locked in this moment forever Every moment spent with you is a moment is a moment i treasure"xxxxxxxxxx
    723 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • I wish i could say i'm happy right now but if i'm honest i'm not happy at all. Charllet left to go home this morning after spending the last 9 days here with me, & i have to say we had a wonderful time as always. Just doing the normal everyday things while she was here gave us both a lot of pleasure & lots of memories  too. We did get over to Norwich on saturday for the day which was fun cos neither of us had been there before. Spent ages wandering round the chapelfields shopping centre, stopping at one of the many cafes for a drink. But as the saying goes all good things have to end eventually & thats what happened this morning at 6.40am when her train left. Through the tears, i stood & watched until i could no longer see the train's lights. I had been trying so hard not to cry but i never have been one for bottling up my feelings......but thats just me. All day long i've had this song by aerosmith in my head & the first few lines sum up just how much Charllet really means to me...."I could stay awake just to hear you breathing watch your smile while you are sleeping While you're far away & dreaming I could spend my life in  this sweet surrender I could stay locked in this moment forever Every moment spent with you is a moment is a moment i treasure"xxxxxxxxxx
    Jan 17, 2008 723
  • 27 Dec 2007
    Well, my christmas day could not havr gone any better than it did. I must admit to being a bit nervous as it was the 1st time i'd been home since going FT almost 3 years ago.I had'nt seen my brother phil for about 2 years so it was good to catch up with him after all this time & he treated me no different cos this was 1st time he'd seen me fully femme. We had our dinner mid-afternoon cos there was lots going on. Mum did us proud as usual, with turkey & all the trimmimgs....with xmas pud to follow too. My brother even provided the wine to go with dinner & lets just say i had my fair share of that...hehehe. I did offer to help with the washing up but mum had everything under control...always organised thats her.All in all,things went very well & even dad said he'd enjoyed it to which meant a lot to me coming from him. This was a day i honestly never thought i'd see but just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye.
    637 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • Well, my christmas day could not havr gone any better than it did. I must admit to being a bit nervous as it was the 1st time i'd been home since going FT almost 3 years ago.I had'nt seen my brother phil for about 2 years so it was good to catch up with him after all this time & he treated me no different cos this was 1st time he'd seen me fully femme. We had our dinner mid-afternoon cos there was lots going on. Mum did us proud as usual, with turkey & all the trimmimgs....with xmas pud to follow too. My brother even provided the wine to go with dinner & lets just say i had my fair share of that...hehehe. I did offer to help with the washing up but mum had everything under control...always organised thats her.All in all,things went very well & even dad said he'd enjoyed it to which meant a lot to me coming from him. This was a day i honestly never thought i'd see but just thinking about it brings a tear to my eye.
    Dec 27, 2007 637
  • 12 Dec 2007
    Christmas isn't that far away now....less than 2 weeks, but for me this year's going to be extra special for lots of reasons. Christmas 2006 wasn't a very nice one for me as i had to spend the big day on my own, due to the fact my dad wasn't ready to have me at his house fully femme which to be honest didnt surprise me. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't bein unpleasant......at the time he was just finding it hard to accept me. The Day its self wasnt too bad  but still not the same as being with my family.THIS year is going to be VERY different as i have been invited round for christmas dinner!!. They ( mum & dad) were talking a month or so back & decided to ask me to come on christmas day as me 100%. I Cannot tell you how much this means to me because it finally feels like he's accepted me for who i am.My Brothers i haven't seen for almost a year & its gonna be so good to see them again & catch up with what they've been doing. The Person who's looking forward to it most of ALL is my mum cos she honestly thought we'd never be all together as a family for christmas. This is gonna be her bestest EVER pressie having us all together at this special time of year......it's gonna be MAGIC!
    632 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • Christmas isn't that far away now....less than 2 weeks, but for me this year's going to be extra special for lots of reasons. Christmas 2006 wasn't a very nice one for me as i had to spend the big day on my own, due to the fact my dad wasn't ready to have me at his house fully femme which to be honest didnt surprise me. Don't get me wrong, he wasn't bein unpleasant......at the time he was just finding it hard to accept me. The Day its self wasnt too bad  but still not the same as being with my family.THIS year is going to be VERY different as i have been invited round for christmas dinner!!. They ( mum & dad) were talking a month or so back & decided to ask me to come on christmas day as me 100%. I Cannot tell you how much this means to me because it finally feels like he's accepted me for who i am.My Brothers i haven't seen for almost a year & its gonna be so good to see them again & catch up with what they've been doing. The Person who's looking forward to it most of ALL is my mum cos she honestly thought we'd never be all together as a family for christmas. This is gonna be her bestest EVER pressie having us all together at this special time of year......it's gonna be MAGIC!
    Dec 12, 2007 632
  • 11 Nov 2007
    Like the title says, a simple act of rememberance but it means so much. I never used to attend our local service, but i now know that my grandfather was in WW2 & me inheriting the medals he won during the campaign in italy & North Africa. On Top of, having a cousin returning from a tour of duty in Iraq earlier this year. The Rememberance service is has taken on a special meaning for me in so much as i never forget the sacrifices made, not just by my grandfather & Cousin but by all those brave servicemen & women who have fought & died in the service of this country. After all, where would we be today without the sacrifices made over 60 years ago? " A Simple act that means a lot"....is what rememberance means to me
    570 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • Like the title says, a simple act of rememberance but it means so much. I never used to attend our local service, but i now know that my grandfather was in WW2 & me inheriting the medals he won during the campaign in italy & North Africa. On Top of, having a cousin returning from a tour of duty in Iraq earlier this year. The Rememberance service is has taken on a special meaning for me in so much as i never forget the sacrifices made, not just by my grandfather & Cousin but by all those brave servicemen & women who have fought & died in the service of this country. After all, where would we be today without the sacrifices made over 60 years ago? " A Simple act that means a lot"....is what rememberance means to me
    Nov 11, 2007 570
  • 27 Oct 2007
    I've not been feeeling too happy as of late, what with not getting the job & a few other things so last sat nite i decided to have an evening at the pub as reward for all the work i'd put in to my course. Came home around midnight & as i walked into my porch i got the shock of my LIFE.....cos who's head should i see poking round the door.....Charllet!!. She'd snuck down and and not said a thing to me about it. i knew she'd be coming soon but not this soon. It'd been late june since i saw her last & had missed her so much it truly did hurt, so i wans't surprised one bit that i was in tears, tears of sheer joy i might add too. We'd shared a bottle of wine before hittin the sack around 1.30amSunday was an easy day as we didn't really do all that much, infact the whole week was like that. We didn't go anywhere special or do much except the normal everyday stuff & we both got a LOT more pleasure out of that than anything else. It was just so nice to spend the time in each others company, & nice too to be cooking for 2 instead of just me so charlllet sure didnt go hungry. Boy can she whip up a mean curry....& it was Good too mmmmmmmm. The time had just gone SO quickly cos we were havin fun....next thing we knew it was friday & her last day here. I think i did pretty well keeping the water-works under control although there were a few tears last night cos i didn't want her to go. Hence the fact i did not get a wink of sleep last night. This morning was just as hard if not harder cos the local trains weren't running so we had to be at the station intime for her to catch the bus to Norwich & Trains from there home.I Gave her a BIG hug before she climbed aboard the bus. I was fine up until that point, but when the bus pulled away that was when the flood-gates really opened and i could just not stop crying. I'm surprised i could see the bus drive into the distance but despite the floods of tears i stood and watched until i could no longer see the bus anymore.Can't tell you how much i'm hurting inside right now & it seems 100% worse this time. I'll tell you this much, when you love someone as much as i love charllet then the parting never ever gets any easier. BUT i know in a few short months time( Jan 3rd to be precise), she will be back and for longer this time. OK i'm feeling really sad right now & it'll take a day or so to get myself sorted again, but i now have January to focus on now & i for one can't WAIT til then cos charllet will be back where she's at her happiest and thats right here by my side. oh god i can feel the waterworks comin on again.....but i am a soppy cow where charllet's concerned but i cannae help it.I love her SO SO much & that'll never EVER change!!
    624 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • I've not been feeeling too happy as of late, what with not getting the job & a few other things so last sat nite i decided to have an evening at the pub as reward for all the work i'd put in to my course. Came home around midnight & as i walked into my porch i got the shock of my LIFE.....cos who's head should i see poking round the door.....Charllet!!. She'd snuck down and and not said a thing to me about it. i knew she'd be coming soon but not this soon. It'd been late june since i saw her last & had missed her so much it truly did hurt, so i wans't surprised one bit that i was in tears, tears of sheer joy i might add too. We'd shared a bottle of wine before hittin the sack around 1.30amSunday was an easy day as we didn't really do all that much, infact the whole week was like that. We didn't go anywhere special or do much except the normal everyday stuff & we both got a LOT more pleasure out of that than anything else. It was just so nice to spend the time in each others company, & nice too to be cooking for 2 instead of just me so charlllet sure didnt go hungry. Boy can she whip up a mean curry....& it was Good too mmmmmmmm. The time had just gone SO quickly cos we were havin fun....next thing we knew it was friday & her last day here. I think i did pretty well keeping the water-works under control although there were a few tears last night cos i didn't want her to go. Hence the fact i did not get a wink of sleep last night. This morning was just as hard if not harder cos the local trains weren't running so we had to be at the station intime for her to catch the bus to Norwich & Trains from there home.I Gave her a BIG hug before she climbed aboard the bus. I was fine up until that point, but when the bus pulled away that was when the flood-gates really opened and i could just not stop crying. I'm surprised i could see the bus drive into the distance but despite the floods of tears i stood and watched until i could no longer see the bus anymore.Can't tell you how much i'm hurting inside right now & it seems 100% worse this time. I'll tell you this much, when you love someone as much as i love charllet then the parting never ever gets any easier. BUT i know in a few short months time( Jan 3rd to be precise), she will be back and for longer this time. OK i'm feeling really sad right now & it'll take a day or so to get myself sorted again, but i now have January to focus on now & i for one can't WAIT til then cos charllet will be back where she's at her happiest and thats right here by my side. oh god i can feel the waterworks comin on again.....but i am a soppy cow where charllet's concerned but i cannae help it.I love her SO SO much & that'll never EVER change!!
    Oct 27, 2007 624
  • 17 Oct 2007
    Well today's not been the best of days really cos my job's come to an end two days early cos the work's dried up. Its a shame as i wanted to see out the rest of my time there but it's not to be. The people i worked with really could not have been any more accepting of me than they were & i really was made to feel welcome during my few months with them.One GREAT piece of news i recieved was concerning christmas, cos last year i spent christmas & New year on my own because my dad wasn't ready to have me at his house. Don't get the wrong idea, he wasn't bein difficult its just that he's takin his time getting used to seeing me fully femme. Not ONCE has he been unpleasant & if anything's wanted doing at my place,my Dad's been straight round to help me out. The WHOLE family now know about me & not one bed word's been said which is good to know.Dad , Mum & my 2 Brothers were talkin on sunday about the arangements  for christmas  Day& what'll be happening. The upshot of all this is the fact i WON'T have to spend the day alone as i have been invited round for dinner that day as myself....no half-measures to please people,i can go as ME!!!!. I didn't foresee this happening this quickly but it has and i just feel so happy about it & tis gonna be the best prezzie ever!
    611 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • Well today's not been the best of days really cos my job's come to an end two days early cos the work's dried up. Its a shame as i wanted to see out the rest of my time there but it's not to be. The people i worked with really could not have been any more accepting of me than they were & i really was made to feel welcome during my few months with them.One GREAT piece of news i recieved was concerning christmas, cos last year i spent christmas & New year on my own because my dad wasn't ready to have me at his house. Don't get the wrong idea, he wasn't bein difficult its just that he's takin his time getting used to seeing me fully femme. Not ONCE has he been unpleasant & if anything's wanted doing at my place,my Dad's been straight round to help me out. The WHOLE family now know about me & not one bed word's been said which is good to know.Dad , Mum & my 2 Brothers were talkin on sunday about the arangements  for christmas  Day& what'll be happening. The upshot of all this is the fact i WON'T have to spend the day alone as i have been invited round for dinner that day as myself....no half-measures to please people,i can go as ME!!!!. I didn't foresee this happening this quickly but it has and i just feel so happy about it & tis gonna be the best prezzie ever!
    Oct 17, 2007 611
  • 03 Oct 2007
    I Thougt today that i'd feel better about myself after yesterdays events but today was anythin BUT a good day. 1st off,some silly old bugger stood leering at me whilst waitin to get the bus to work, THEN i'd gone into town during my lunch hour & copped a volley of foul, crude abuse from 2 women with prams ( babies in em too ffs)...feel sorry for the kids if thats how the parents are.BUT i saved best for last & you'll love this. I emailed the people who interviewed me for the job, quite politely too just so air a few of my thoughts about how things had gone. The Reply i got back really did make me so ANGRY!!  First off, apparently i HAD been given enough time to prepare myself (complete crap), they then went on to question my intelligence by completely pulling apart the email i sent them. Wasn't as if it was a formal thing for fk sake but that made me see red! i'm bloody GLAD i didn't get the job cos i pity the poor sods that got the jobs havin to work for total tossers like them. In 2 1/2 weeks i'll be finished and i can walk away with my head held high, proud of the fact i know i did a good job......& thinkin to myself " well FK u lot"
    577 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • I Thougt today that i'd feel better about myself after yesterdays events but today was anythin BUT a good day. 1st off,some silly old bugger stood leering at me whilst waitin to get the bus to work, THEN i'd gone into town during my lunch hour & copped a volley of foul, crude abuse from 2 women with prams ( babies in em too ffs)...feel sorry for the kids if thats how the parents are.BUT i saved best for last & you'll love this. I emailed the people who interviewed me for the job, quite politely too just so air a few of my thoughts about how things had gone. The Reply i got back really did make me so ANGRY!!  First off, apparently i HAD been given enough time to prepare myself (complete crap), they then went on to question my intelligence by completely pulling apart the email i sent them. Wasn't as if it was a formal thing for fk sake but that made me see red! i'm bloody GLAD i didn't get the job cos i pity the poor sods that got the jobs havin to work for total tossers like them. In 2 1/2 weeks i'll be finished and i can walk away with my head held high, proud of the fact i know i did a good job......& thinkin to myself " well FK u lot"
    Oct 03, 2007 577
  • 02 Oct 2007
    Just how many more kicks am i expected to take?. The Job i went after, i really did think i was in with a great chance of getting moved onto the next stage today, with the second interviews for those who got that far. There were 5 including me & we were called in one by one, to answer a few more questions before the final decision was taken on who was going to get the 2 jobs on offer. I thought that with them knowing how i work & what i could do, that i'd be one of the two that would be successful.....but i wasn't & i felt so let down cos i'd put 100% into getting the job but it just wasn't enough. To make matters worse, i hadto sit at my desk & watch them go in one by one. I just had a funny feeling about today & sadly i was proved right.My trial period's up in a few weeks but i got no chance of gettin F/T work there cos if i can't even get a PART time job there then what chance have i got? Will just have to keep giving 100% to the job until the 19th Oct & then i can walk out with my head high knowing that despite a kick in the teeth, i have given all the effort i could to make a real go of things.....and that i can feel rightly proud of what i have achieved in the last 3 months.Now SOD work...........where's the bottle of wine i got here somewhere? lol
    604 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • Just how many more kicks am i expected to take?. The Job i went after, i really did think i was in with a great chance of getting moved onto the next stage today, with the second interviews for those who got that far. There were 5 including me & we were called in one by one, to answer a few more questions before the final decision was taken on who was going to get the 2 jobs on offer. I thought that with them knowing how i work & what i could do, that i'd be one of the two that would be successful.....but i wasn't & i felt so let down cos i'd put 100% into getting the job but it just wasn't enough. To make matters worse, i hadto sit at my desk & watch them go in one by one. I just had a funny feeling about today & sadly i was proved right.My trial period's up in a few weeks but i got no chance of gettin F/T work there cos if i can't even get a PART time job there then what chance have i got? Will just have to keep giving 100% to the job until the 19th Oct & then i can walk out with my head high knowing that despite a kick in the teeth, i have given all the effort i could to make a real go of things.....and that i can feel rightly proud of what i have achieved in the last 3 months.Now SOD work...........where's the bottle of wine i got here somewhere? lol
    Oct 02, 2007 604
  • 28 Sep 2007
    I Have been doing well at work recently & am comin to the end of my 3 months trial. Nothin has yet been said if its going to become permanent, which is why i have applied for another job with them. Only this one has a bit more responsibilty attached too, it'll mean my job title will change officially to receptionist. I'll have to deal with a lot more in the way of people coming into the centre & will have more inthe way of things to do such as giving advice over the phone which wont faze me in the slightest. I had the interview today and i think i did as well as i could cos there were quite a few going for the job. Even before this stage several had been binned for not being qualified so i must be in with a shout.The peeps doing the interview didn't ask me half as many questions as the rest, cos they said they had seen me doin the jobs i'm already doing and doing them well, which i think impressed them no end cos everything i'dbeen asked to do i did as best as i could. I should know more next week because thats when a couple are bein asked back to go over the " finer points"....lets just hope its me they choose cos after almost 4 years out of work it's time i was given my chance to show them what i can do.Here's HOPING..................
    547 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  • I Have been doing well at work recently & am comin to the end of my 3 months trial. Nothin has yet been said if its going to become permanent, which is why i have applied for another job with them. Only this one has a bit more responsibilty attached too, it'll mean my job title will change officially to receptionist. I'll have to deal with a lot more in the way of people coming into the centre & will have more inthe way of things to do such as giving advice over the phone which wont faze me in the slightest. I had the interview today and i think i did as well as i could cos there were quite a few going for the job. Even before this stage several had been binned for not being qualified so i must be in with a shout.The peeps doing the interview didn't ask me half as many questions as the rest, cos they said they had seen me doin the jobs i'm already doing and doing them well, which i think impressed them no end cos everything i'dbeen asked to do i did as best as i could. I should know more next week because thats when a couple are bein asked back to go over the " finer points"....lets just hope its me they choose cos after almost 4 years out of work it's time i was given my chance to show them what i can do.Here's HOPING..................
    Sep 28, 2007 547
  • 20 Aug 2007
     I gotta admit i was nervous as HELL today, before my Appt with my GP, as i wasn't entirely sure how things would go.So when called for,i went in to see him. All i did was explain the situation to him.....about Ch X and the like, & he asked a few questions as he read Dr Lenihans letter.He then prescribed me Estradiol 2mg a day,which i can't take until after i've had another blood test & had a further appt with him. Waitin 2weeks aint gonna hurt after the length of time i waited so far.As you can well imagine, i came away one VERY happy girl & with good reason too cos at LAST i'm finally on my way to becoming who i really want tobe.....wish me luck girls!
    582 Posted by Anna-Marie Trindall
  •  I gotta admit i was nervous as HELL today, before my Appt with my GP, as i wasn't entirely sure how things would go.So when called for,i went in to see him. All i did was explain the situation to him.....about Ch X and the like, & he asked a few questions as he read Dr Lenihans letter.He then prescribed me Estradiol 2mg a day,which i can't take until after i've had another blood test & had a further appt with him. Waitin 2weeks aint gonna hurt after the length of time i waited so far.As you can well imagine, i came away one VERY happy girl & with good reason too cos at LAST i'm finally on my way to becoming who i really want tobe.....wish me luck girls!
    Aug 20, 2007 582