My first book

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  • Thanks for the compliment lol. I do a lot better online than when I'm talking with someone face to face, but I'd say I've come a long way with age. Lol, I used to stare at the ground during an entire conversation, but I can make eye contact quite a bit better now.

    That's very helpful to know! I wish I was better at sports, but really the only thing I'm good at is running. Still a sport at least lol. We used to have to run eleven miles in cross country practice. I ran fine but didn't stay in cross because of being so... Well, anti-social and I didn't like having people watch me run. I still love to do it, though. It's actually one of the ways I think of new story ideas haha. xD 

    That's a good idea for an exercise, thanks! Every little bit of writing and reading helps at this point lol. I did have to write notes and people watch for one of my college classes, but I never really wrote about the scenes. Will definitely try that idea out!

      June 2, 2017 6:35 PM BST
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  • I really like your poem!!! (smile)

    I am not a writer, but rather something of a musician whose "skill" resides not so much in the lyrics/singing, but rather interpreting the written words and finding the "proper" melodies for them. I read into the themes for moods, expressions, scenery, etc. and then can put together chord progressions, tempo and timing, and all to enhance that what was written. In lieu of being creative with lyrics, I kinda have a bank of my own tunes made for certain moods that I often play on my deck on a nice day when I feel like expressing myself and/or releasing energies, tension, or even pure joy.

    I believe those that can express their feelings thru the written word are truly gifted and has always been something I've admired! Keep doing what you believe in for there are no limits to how fulfilling this can be to yourself and for others to gain from reading what you write!

    Best wishes always...

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 2, 2017 8:11 PM BST
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  • Hello Traci, thank you so much for your kind words. I really needed to hear them as I was recently having some doubts on writing my latest Short Story. It started out as a memoir and I'm going to be discussing things that happened in my childhood that will probably give my father a bad image... I almost don't want to write it because of this since he's gotten better over the years, but ultimately, I feel like the story just has to be told, especially if it will help even just one other individual who suffers from BDD or Gender Identity. I'm glad to hear you like my poem so thanks! I think it's awesome that you work with melodies. I wrote a poem back in High School that I wanted to make a song out of, but I just couldn't get enough interest in guitar and making music. I've always just been more into writing and story-telling, I guess lol. To be able to work with melodies I imagine you are extremely talented as well.

    Best wishes to you too! 

      June 2, 2017 8:56 PM BST
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  • I started to write a book about my life, the trials and tribulations of being mis-gendered

     

    Fridays child fair of face.

    Born 1120 am Friday 19 August 1983, Star sign Leo, born in the Chinese year of the Pig. The band and song in vogue that day, was the Police, with Every Breath you Take, rather apt.

    Oblivious of current trends at the time and unaware of what life had in store for me, I probably gurgled and cried my way through the next couple of years. Most of my memories of the first few years , are from photographs, I saw later in my life, not from actual memories of events. apparently my first word was dadda. On reflection I was being groomed from an early age to fulfil his hopes and dreams of glory, aspirations he was unable to attain for himself, a surrogate, improved version, of a man I would come to hate and revile. I think I was about 4 my first real memories, of being marched up and down the living room, with a toy rifle, presenting arms and saluting. when other boys were running around in their gardens with friends, shouting out bang, bang and playing at being soldiers or cowboys giggling and laughing, while I was being derided, bullied, crying for getting it wrong. also my first memories of my sister 2 years older than me, dressing me up in her clothes, both my mother and father from what I remember were more amused rather than showing any real consternation.

    It is hard to put exact time tags on events at such a young age, but I must have been about to start school, I had longish blonde hair somewhat curly, it was always too much trouble for my mother to take me to get my hair cut, because I would scream, wriggle and kick out. THAT day my father held me down by the neck with one hand and chopped and hacked at my hair with a pair of scissors with the other hand, that should have been an inkling as to what was to happen over the next few years.

    I never played with dolls, I was'nt of a feminine inclination. although always frightened of failure I enjoyed target practice, dressed in my little soldiers uniform and air rifle. being taken to the local clay pigeon shoot when I was about 7 or 8, the dressing up sessions with my sister continued, she would squeeze into my shorts and school jumper and I would dress in her pants and dresses, because of the perceived pressures of conforming to the ideology of a Rambo persona from my father, these little sessions were conducted when he was at work. they made me feel comfortable, I never had any sexual feelings, never knew what a transvestite was, Our little sessions were fun, innocent fun.


    to be continued..........................

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      June 3, 2017 5:22 PM BST
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  • Kris...

    Perhaps I could take a stab at your HS poem and set it to music?  Not sure how I could get it to you when done, but if you're OK with it, I'd like to try! (smile)

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 4, 2017 12:39 AM BST
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  • Crissie...part two please!  (smile)

    xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 4, 2017 12:41 AM BST
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  • That was very well written, Christine! Makes me want to get back to my Short Story... I got cold feet after I received a comment about my dad lol. "WTF kind of dad is this?!" I suspect I'll get a lot of comments like that so I might as well just get used to it. Definitely interested in more of your story!

     

    Traci, I'll post my poem as I love sharing them, but if it doesn't go with music well it's not a big deal lol. I am actually hoping that a couple of my poems I can turn publish-worthy because I've been told a lot of authors start out sending Poems and Short Stories to Magazines. *Crossing my fingers lol*

     

    Title: Your Night is Every Night

     

     

    Although it is your birthday,

     

    I've just got to say,

     

    Your night is not just tonight,

     

    It's every night.

     

    Every single day

     

    I pray.

     

    I thank God for the joy and love in my life.

     

    But saying these words to you cuts like a knife.

     

    Because you don't know.

     

    You have sorrow.

     

    Your birthday is a day everyone celebrates you being born.

     

    But I must warn,

     

    What I'm about to say may make you confused.

     

    Don't feel you have to choose.

     

    What do I have to say?

     

    Your night is every night.

     

    Your arms embraced around me tight,

     

    It feels right.

     

    Your night is celebrated and recognized by me every night.

     

     

     

     

    Now blow out the candle light,

     

    Stay in sight.

     

    Have no fright.

     

    I will always be here.

     

    I know your birthday is special.

     

    Even though at times you are skeptical.

     

    You ask yourself,

     

    What is my purpose in the world?

     

    I ask the same thing of myself.

     

    I've found one answer that's unfurled.

     

    We show the world what love is.

     

    Whether it's friendship or romance,

     

    I'll always be in this trance.

     

    I want you to take my feelings in sight

     

    With all your might.

     

    I want you to know that every night,

     

    Is your night.

     

     

     

     

    Your night is every night.

     

    Hold my friendship and love tight

     

    And take flight.

     

    I will always be here for you.

     

    Every single night.

     

    Because your night,

     

    Is every night.

      June 4, 2017 3:24 AM BST
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  • OMG!!!!!!!  I LOVE it!!!  I hope I can do this justice....(smile)  

    I think I'll use the following "verse" as the reoccuring "chorus" and if it's OK with you, add/delete words in parenthesis for rythmic liberty for myself...the chorus pieces will be inserted between verses and probably alone at the end...

    "Your night is every night.
    Hold my friendship and love tight 
    and(let you and me)  take flight.
    (For)I will always be here for you... every single night.
    Because your night Is every night.
    Because your night Is every night."

     

    Let me know what you think...I think it's beautiful!!!

     

    Traci xoxo

     

     

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 4, 2017 11:51 PM BST
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  • Traci, I'm so happy to hear you loved it! I'm sure I'll be impressed with any music you could make go with it. I could never do it, personally lol. I like the idea of what you have so far and don't mind you adding/deleting words. I figure for it to be a song some of the words probably don't fit/work heh. Thanks so much for the compliment and again, I'm so glad you like it. Also, thanks for taking the time to add music to it!

      June 5, 2017 1:39 AM BST
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  • Kris...thnx for your permission...

    After I posted, I spent three hours outside on our deck in a delightful breeze under the canopy of a large shade tree playing my guitar...I fumbled and stumbled and ended up learning some of the late Chris Cornell stuff with Audioslave in lieu of tackling your poem.  I get so easily distracted!  LOL

    I will get there but it has to come with some internal inspiration for me to get on a roll...(smile)  It can be difficult to juggle another's feeling with mine, but I look forward to the challenge! (smile)

     

    Traci xoxo

     

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 5, 2017 2:40 AM BST
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  • Traci, you're very welcome! That sounds very peaceful. It's been raining on and off here so I haven't been outside much, but the temperature has been pretty nice the times I did make it outside lol. I'm glad to hear you learned some Chris Cornell with my poem at least lol. It is difficult to get feelings across to others in all writing I'm finding out as I write more and more. I really want my Short Story to be emotional so I need to master this skill the best I can before publishing. I know songs can make different people feel different ways, but when writing this I was trying to get across the feeling of unconditional love even if it has to be a friendship. (Turned out to be unrequited love which is also what my Short Story is about a bit). I appreciate the work you've put into it so far so thanks again!

      June 5, 2017 3:43 AM BST
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  • Kris...I'm only at a point where I'm trying to juggle to words into a sort of rythmic flow bypassing your intent/theme for the moment...I definitley picked up your message of an undying love regardless of the world or circumstances around these two people.  For one, it knows no limits to what this person will do for the love.  For the other, perhaps this person feels "unworthy" of receiving love or maybe just does not understand what love means?  Maybe this person has been hurt before and rejects anyone getting close?  You haven't given much of a hint as to why "these words cut like a knife", but that allows the viewer to interject their own ideas as to why it is so, thus a mystery unsolved! Was it a former lover, something from their past?  Is it a family issue or a bad parent? Is it a physical problem or handicap that lessens the self esteem?  So much to run with...(smile)

     

    That said, there's no shortage of catchy songs that leave interpretation wide open to the listener!  In fact, people have spent decades and decades debating the meaning of the artist with no real solution ever finalized!  Perfect!!!!!

     

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 5, 2017 9:15 PM BST
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  • I only posted the first part of my attempt to write a book in this forum, other parts were added to the full memers forum, I did'nt want people outside GS to have access to it.   Later it will get amusing, astounding, shocking for some, with a few wows and quite a few yuk's.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      June 5, 2017 9:28 PM BST
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  • Crissie...I wish I could have known you when I was young and doing pretty crazy things!  Living in or around NYC as a part time Tgirl in the late 60s-early 70s in my late teens and early 20s was...ahhh...ummm....fun!  *giggles*  I know we'd have hit it off for I was pretty back then!  LOL

    xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 6, 2017 12:51 AM BST
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  • Traci, no rush at all on adding music to it. I'm just glad to hear you liked it. Yeah, it's funny to know exactly what I was saying with the poem, but I just wasn't crystal clear with the words lol. I guess it works out like you said. I think you described the person who's supposed to be singing it quite well, though!

     

    Crissie, It sounds like a great read!

      June 6, 2017 4:48 AM BST
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  • 43

    Traci, I am in awe of what you can do, I am endowed with many artistic talents, but music was left out of me by my maker! I can't live without it, but I can't carry a tune in a bucket. Even dancing... well, my knees want to dance, by my head is not following. Very frustrating.

      June 6, 2017 10:32 AM BST
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  • Kris...Two ways to takes this musically, at least in my brain.  One is the use of "dark" minor chords which cry out from the hurt of not being able to connect with one's love...the other is using bright, "cheerful" major chords celebrating one's love for another!  

    Any feelings on how you'd prefer to interpret it?

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 6, 2017 1:46 PM BST
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  • LOL Katia...do not ever underestimate the ability to dance with two left feet!  (grin)  And you do understand how difficult it is to carry anything in a bucket, let alone an elusive tune that tries at every opportunitiy to escape from that bucket! (smile)

    As for the dancing, I suggest you go to a club where all the patrons have taken in a bit too much alcohol to where their dancing ability is quite impaired!  Then, when you get out on the floor, you can do anything you wish and look no worse than anyone else! LOL

    I feel truly blessed to be able to express myself thru music...I know it is a gift and I never take it lightly! (smile)  There is nothing I'd rather do than to be able to sit down on a beautiful day and play for hours...I understand where all the song birds are coming from as they chirp and sing all day long!  

    There have been numerous people in this site who are very talented in music.  Our own Lucy Diamond, a UK girl, plays keyboards in a very good band and does an awesome job!  Maybe there's a connection between our gender thing and creativity/arts???  

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 6, 2017 2:07 PM BST
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  • 43

    I fear my dancing career will have to wait until I can go to Antarctica and migrate with the penguins... then I will definitley blend in :)

    I am absolutely convinced that most (all?) people out there have a pinch of the opposite gender embedded in their soul, but artists are far more likely to let it out... we have the irresisitble urge to express all that is inside us, while most "ordinary" people just get on with their day... :)

      June 6, 2017 4:16 PM BST
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  • I think its a positive lust for life, not to be confused with the anagram slut....at least not for ones entire life, lol

    Cristine Jennifer Shye.  B/L.  B/Acc
      June 6, 2017 4:36 PM BST
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  • Katia...you're white!  That kinda explains the dancing thingie!  LOL

    Crissie...I agree with you...thankfully I outgrew the "slut" part!  LOL  But the lust for life has only gotten better running on estrogen for almost 8 years now...everything is so much "clearer" and all of the prior angst, anxiety, aggression, etc. has evaporated replaced by a renewed vitality and vigor.  I wish each day were 28 hours long just so I could do everything! (smile)

    Traci xoxo

     

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 6, 2017 5:16 PM BST
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  • Traci, I'd say it should be a bit on the darker side just because of how everything has turned out and what/who it's based on. I say this because maybe once I finally share my Short Story, Obsession, I can point people in the direction of this and a few other poems that are about the two main characters. I also wish there were more hours in the day... I can be such a procrastinator and I need to kick that habit! Lol. 

      June 6, 2017 8:31 PM BST
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  • LOL on procrastination...actually, I think Crissie started a thread on procrastination in this site years back...hopefully she can find the link!!! (smile)

    I'm pretty much with you on going "dark"...no matter how many times I read the poem and then try to come up with a Vance Joy "riptide" type of song, it just doesn't "connect" with me.  I tried it a few times and ...nothing!  Then out of a whim, I went "dark", almost bluesey in an E minor key and it opened up doors...I'm now playing with "capo'ing" on different frets to try to get into my pitch and range vocally...but as of right now, I have something to work with! (smile)  

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
      June 6, 2017 11:12 PM BST
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  • Haha, if there are tips on getting rid of procrastination, I'm all for checking it out! I find I work my best when I have a deadline because if I don't have one, nothing will get done lol. 

    I'm not overly surprised happiness and joyful sounds/music doesn't go with the song considering the characters and situation although it would have been interesting to hear a happy version while knowing what I wrote it about lol. Bluesy definitely sounds like it'd fit nicely and I can't wait to hear what you come up with. =)

      June 7, 2017 2:20 AM BST
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  • The challenge will be trying to make it rythmically flow!  Fingers crossed...gonna sit on it for a few days and let "inspiration" sink in, or at lease let it play in my head in various tempos...it's tough when  they are not your own words. At least we seem to be on the same page as to where the words come from...(smile)

    Traci xoxo

    <p>Traci</p>
    This post was edited by Traci Lee O'Gara at June 8, 2017 5:02 PM BST
      June 8, 2017 5:01 PM BST
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