I must pass now

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  • Why have I given this the heading "I must pass now"?
    It's a bit of a long story but here goes.

    On Friday I had my first appointment with a Consultant Psychiatrist employed by the local NHS trust. The appointment had been set up by my GP who felt that I was a transsexual. This appointment went very well and the psychiatrist has said that in his opinion that I am a transsexual and is going to make a recommendation to the relevnt committee that I receive further treatment. That committee sits this Wednesday. During our discussions the psychiatrist also recommended that I start my real life experience as soon as possible. I left the hospital on a definite high.

    On Saturday afternoon I popped into work (in male mode) and saw my line manager. I told her about my appointment and the outcome. She told me that she had put two and two together and had worked out what I was about to tell her. We have agreed that I can start to work as Alina. I will be telling the store manager this afternoon when I go to work and then start to explain the future to my work colleagues. With my line manager we came to the conclusion that the Christmas Dinner might be the best time for Alina to put in an appearance.

    So in two weeks time Alina will be starting her real life experience. That means that I will be Alina 24/7 and Alan will disappear. So from then on I must pass as a female although I'm sure there are some that will read me.

    I'll keep you all informed of the progress but Alina is about to make the big step at the start of a new beginning.

    Alina xxxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 5, 2005 9:32 AM GMT
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  • Congrats Alina

    And welcome to the club. Don´t worry about passing. The main thing is that you are your natural self. Then it is easy to the people to accept you. Ans actually, what else can they do?
    There will be always someone to suspect us. But I can confort you: they suspect also genetical women who are taller than average, or have something else what is a bit different from the average.

    Laura
      December 5, 2005 10:21 AM GMT
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  • Thanks Laura

    I realise that passing is not always possible but it is always something in the back of the mind. I have just been to the bank and didn't get a second glance going, in the bank or on the way back. As it's about a km walk each way and I had to queue to be served I'm very happy.
    And now just two weeks or so of having to work as a guy.

    You Finns seem very active today. Thanks for your support.

    Alina xxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 5, 2005 10:56 AM GMT
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  • Hi Alina, congratulations on your appointment and your decision. Laura is right, don’t worry about passing. There’s no stipulation in the NHS RLE that says you have to pass, else you fail. And you don’t even have to pass to get through day to day life (I know that I don’t pass), but of course it helps if you are able to “blend in”, and clearly you can do that. I’m sure we’d all like to be completely passable, but what really matters is how you react within yourself when people read you. You mustn’t let it bother you, or else you may be in for a rough ride. People recognise that I am TS, and so what? I am!
    Be proud of who you are, and what you are doing, and enjoy the ride.
    xx
      December 5, 2005 1:32 PM GMT
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  • Alina, thanks for your posting. Every time I read something about my TS sisters making strides it helps me to anticipate what will happen.

    Good luck. By the way, you look cute, so I wouldn't worry about passing!

    Mere
    You can get anything you want at Alice's restaurant.
      December 5, 2005 1:43 PM GMT
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  • Thanks for the support girls. I know that we are all there to help each other when needed.
    This afternoon I informed the store manager of my decision and she will now inform HR at the company's headquarters.
    I also started telling work colleagues and the grapevine soon got to work with others coming to ask me about my future.
    Alina will now appear at the store Christmas dinner on Sunday 18th December and the real life experience will start the following day.
    There is also staff double discount this Thursday and Friday so Alina could end up with a new party frock.

    Love you all
    Alina xxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 5, 2005 9:05 PM GMT
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  • Congratz Alina!!!!

    Sounds like your Christmas will be truly memorable this year!!
    Now if only someone would leave a new outfit under the tree for you!

    Hugz,
    Michelle Lynn
      December 8, 2005 5:36 AM GMT
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  • Way to go Alina! Hope all goes well for you. I agree with Michelle Lynn when she says that this Christmas will truly be a memorable one for you


    Hugs & kisses,

    Monika
      December 8, 2005 8:54 AM GMT
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  • Thanks Girls
    The real girls in work are asking why I'm not already going to work as Alina but when I explain the situation they are understanding. They like me can't wait for the Christmas Dinner. They are all interested to see what I'll be wearing especially when I tell them that it wsn't bought from our shopping chain.

    I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

    Alina xxxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 8, 2005 10:33 AM GMT
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  • Hi everyone
    Well I'm now into my last week before I start my Real Life Experience. I only appear as my male side during the afternoons of Monday to Friday this week and then the male clothes disappear. On Saturday when out at the shops I called into work and a few of them were shocked at how good I really looked. This of course made me very happy.
    Yesterday when at the bank the cashier chatted to me and wished me all the best for the future. This morning I need to call into the beauty salon to make an appointment for the weekend to have my nails done ready for the work Christmas Dinner on Sunday.

    Look after yourselves love Alina xxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 13, 2005 9:03 AM GMT
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  • Hi all

    I'm just about to start my last shift at work as a male. I'm already wearing my new name badge so other members of staff are getting used to my new name.
    Last night I went through the formalities of changing my name so now I am officially Alina June Wicks.
    So by about 6pm tonight there will be no use for most of my male clothes. Alina will be full time from this evening.

    Bye for now - I have to go to work.

    Alina xx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 16, 2005 12:30 PM GMT
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  • Well how has the first couple of weeks been/
    When I got home from my last male shift at work on 16th of December off came my shoes and they went straight in the bin. Over the weekend clothes were sorted to see what should go to the charity shops and what was no use.
    The Sunday night saw Alina's first public outing with her work colleagues - this was the Christmas Dinner and everything went marvellously well. Alina spent most of the evening dancing with both male and female workmates. At work everything has gone well also. The real girls bring clothes to me and say "Alina this would suit you". I need more pay to buy it all. I'm now down to less that 13 stone in weight and some size 14 skirts are now loose. So I can't buy too much just now in case I have to start buying size 12.

    Thanks for all your support, Love Alina.
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      January 3, 2006 10:12 AM GMT
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  • 2 2627
    Hi Alina
    I've been waiting to hear how it went. Am so glad things went smooth. Your co-workers sound to be good people.
    So your New Year is starting off on a good note.
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      January 3, 2006 12:49 PM GMT
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  • Alina,

    Reading your posts and I am very happy for you. It's great to see that this experience has been a positive one so far.

    Like Mere, it gives me hope for my future in a couple of years as I will be going through the same thing.

    Keep us posted on how it's going.

    Congratulations to you!!

    Best Wishes, Hon!

    Hugs,

    Kari
      January 4, 2006 4:35 PM GMT
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  • Hi Girls
    This is a bit of an update. I've put it here because it follows on from what I've said before.
    I'm now starting the fifth month of my Real Life Experience and on that front everything is going very well. I'm fully accepted as Alina at work - although some still ask me to do some of the heavier tasks.
    I'm on my first month of prescribed hrt and anti-testosterone tablets so more progress will occur soon.
    I've had a holiday in Scotland and one in Torbay as well as weekends on the English south coast so Alina is getting out and about.
    Regulars in the local rugby club and our pub are always asking for progress updates, it's nice that people are interested and that I can openly go to such places.

    Will update again soon

    Love Alina xxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      April 24, 2006 11:53 AM BST
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  • Alina,

    I'm glad to see you back and hear everything is going so well. I hope it stays that way and hope the best for you in the future

    *hugs*

    ~Valerie x x
      April 24, 2006 12:01 PM BST
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  • 5 months? Seems like only yesterday.
    Can I ask exactly what you have been prescribed? (Just curious).
    xx
      April 24, 2006 12:09 PM BST
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  • 2 2627
    It's nice to hear from you. Sounds as though things are going well.
    <p>Karen Brad</p>
      April 24, 2006 12:17 PM BST
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  • For those interested I've been prescribed the following:
    Ethinylestradiol 50 micrograms per day - Estrogen
    Cyproterone Acetate 100 micrograms a day - Anti-testosterone.
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      April 24, 2006 6:41 PM BST
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  • I remember when I started this thread, it seems such a long time ago. Do I pass today? Well I definitely do. I spend a lot more time in the shop now than I used to and therefore meet lots of customers. I have my own hair and have actually had it cut at least 4 times since starting to grow it again. Socially we use the local pubs, restaurants and social clubs, fitting in well with others. With Bob (Belinda) my fiance and on my own I've travelled to lots of places by train. This weekend we are off to Wisbech to celebrate our engagement with my family.

    I may not be the best looking girl but I'm very happy with life as Alina.

    Love Alina xxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      October 19, 2006 1:50 PM BST
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  • Alina, hon--

    This is great news. May I add my congrats, and do keep us posted--I love a success story!

    Luv 'n hugs,

    Dr. Mina Sakura
    Living as the woman I am!
      October 25, 2006 7:39 AM BST
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  • Well I'm back off my holiday and hopefully I'll be here on Trannyweb more often than of late.
    On the day that our hols started I collected a hire car in town and drove for the first time in 10 months. It was also the first time I'd used Alina's licence and not Alan's. Our drive to my dad's place included a stop for dinner on the way. On Saturday we visited Wisbech and strolled around the market and shops. I wondered how many of those that passed me knew my former self or even went to school with me. Saturday afternoon saw us at a large garden centre near Spalding. Saturday evening was out for a meal to celebrate our engagement. On Sunday we visited a place that I used to spend many a weekend and holiday as a youngster - Hunstanton on the Norfolk coast. We were there all day. On Monday saw us in Norwich, Wroxham and the Broads, finishing off for dinner in Great Yarmouth. On Wednesday Bob became Belinda when we visited a former school friend who lives in Peterborough. I wonder what would have happened if we had know about our cross dressing whilst still at school. A wonderful time was had thinking back to the 50s and 60s. Home on Thursday followed by a weekend of going here and there.

    Can't wait until my next holiday in February.
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      October 31, 2006 1:47 PM GMT
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  • Hi Everyone
    Well as we approach Christmas 2007 I realised that I had not done as promised last year. I had not kept you all up to date with my progress.
    Well it's been just over two years since I started my Real Life Experience. Things have gone great in that time. In September 2007 I finally had my first appointment at the Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (CX). This went very well and I had my first recommendation for surgery. My next appointment is in early January. I've also got around to starting my treatment with laser hair removal. It started in December 2007 and the next appointment is a few days before I go to CX. The only thing I didn't like was the smell of burning hair drifting up my nose.
    In the past I only worked a little of each shift at work in the shop now it's most of my time. I have some great conversations with customers.
    I'm a regular attender at Oxford's New Theatre. Socially my fiance and I use a local social club and our rugby club. We still travel around the country on holidays.
    Yes life for Alina is a lot better than it was when Alan existed.

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

    Lots of love Alina
    xxxxx
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 23, 2007 3:18 PM GMT
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  • Hi Alina.

    This is actually the first time I read this post, sorry. I am so happy for you, and even more pleased that your experiences mirrored mine in so many ways.

    I hear of so many girls who have problems at work, with families, friends and just going about our business as ourselves that it is heartening to hear that you have had such a good experience, as I did.

    I know it will not have all been plain sailing, but it sounds mostly so, and I wish you well for the future.

    Sue. XX
    Sue. X Psychiatrists are like the eunuch in the harem. They know what transvestism is, they can describe it, they can demonstrate it, but they cant actually explain it!
      December 23, 2007 5:34 PM GMT
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  • Hi Sue
    I feel that I'm lucky to have progressed in the way I have. I've not had any real support along the way apart from my dad and my partner. However my greatest support has been Matalan - the retail outlet in lots of towns. Management at company and branch level accepted it when I told them that I no longer intended being the bloke that they employed. Now they and the store staff have all forgotten Alan and treat Alina as their friend and colleague.
    My biggest problems have come from the PCT in this area. They set certain criteria and it was meeting these that meant it was almost two years between seeing the consulting psychiatrist and getting my first appointment at Charing Cross GIC. The next problem with the PCT will be SRS funding.
    I've thoroughly enjoyed the last two years and I'm very happy that I'm slowly becoming the female I have wanted to be for over 50 years.

    Lots of love
    Alina
    Merry Christmas
    Life is proceeding at a lovely pace
      December 24, 2007 10:32 AM GMT
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