I must pass now

  • December 5, 2005 9:32 AM GMT
    Why have I given this the heading "I must pass now"?
    It's a bit of a long story but here goes.

    On Friday I had my first appointment with a Consultant Psychiatrist employed by the local NHS trust. The appointment had been set up by my GP who felt that I was a transsexual. This appointment went very well and the psychiatrist has said that in his opinion that I am a transsexual and is going to make a recommendation to the relevnt committee that I receive further treatment. That committee sits this Wednesday. During our discussions the psychiatrist also recommended that I start my real life experience as soon as possible. I left the hospital on a definite high.

    On Saturday afternoon I popped into work (in male mode) and saw my line manager. I told her about my appointment and the outcome. She told me that she had put two and two together and had worked out what I was about to tell her. We have agreed that I can start to work as Alina. I will be telling the store manager this afternoon when I go to work and then start to explain the future to my work colleagues. With my line manager we came to the conclusion that the Christmas Dinner might be the best time for Alina to put in an appearance.

    So in two weeks time Alina will be starting her real life experience. That means that I will be Alina 24/7 and Alan will disappear. So from then on I must pass as a female although I'm sure there are some that will read me.

    I'll keep you all informed of the progress but Alina is about to make the big step at the start of a new beginning.

    Alina xxxxx
  • December 5, 2005 10:21 AM GMT
    Congrats Alina

    And welcome to the club. Don´t worry about passing. The main thing is that you are your natural self. Then it is easy to the people to accept you. Ans actually, what else can they do?
    There will be always someone to suspect us. But I can confort you: they suspect also genetical women who are taller than average, or have something else what is a bit different from the average.

  • December 5, 2005 10:56 AM GMT
    Thanks Laura

    I realise that passing is not always possible but it is always something in the back of the mind. I have just been to the bank and didn't get a second glance going, in the bank or on the way back. As it's about a km walk each way and I had to queue to be served I'm very happy.
    And now just two weeks or so of having to work as a guy.

    You Finns seem very active today. Thanks for your support.

    Alina xxxx
  • December 5, 2005 9:05 PM GMT
    Thanks for the support girls. I know that we are all there to help each other when needed.
    This afternoon I informed the store manager of my decision and she will now inform HR at the company's headquarters.
    I also started telling work colleagues and the grapevine soon got to work with others coming to ask me about my future.
    Alina will now appear at the store Christmas dinner on Sunday 18th December and the real life experience will start the following day.
    There is also staff double discount this Thursday and Friday so Alina could end up with a new party frock.

    Love you all
    Alina xxxx
  • December 8, 2005 5:36 AM GMT
    Congratz Alina!!!!

    Sounds like your Christmas will be truly memorable this year!!
    Now if only someone would leave a new outfit under the tree for you!

    Michelle Lynn
    • 374 posts
    December 8, 2005 8:54 AM GMT
    Way to go Alina! Hope all goes well for you. I agree with Michelle Lynn when she says that this Christmas will truly be a memorable one for you

    Hugs & kisses,

  • December 8, 2005 10:33 AM GMT
    Thanks Girls
    The real girls in work are asking why I'm not already going to work as Alina but when I explain the situation they are understanding. They like me can't wait for the Christmas Dinner. They are all interested to see what I'll be wearing especially when I tell them that it wsn't bought from our shopping chain.

    I'll keep you all posted on my progress.

    Alina xxxxx
  • December 13, 2005 9:03 AM GMT
    Hi everyone
    Well I'm now into my last week before I start my Real Life Experience. I only appear as my male side during the afternoons of Monday to Friday this week and then the male clothes disappear. On Saturday when out at the shops I called into work and a few of them were shocked at how good I really looked. This of course made me very happy.
    Yesterday when at the bank the cashier chatted to me and wished me all the best for the future. This morning I need to call into the beauty salon to make an appointment for the weekend to have my nails done ready for the work Christmas Dinner on Sunday.

    Look after yourselves love Alina xxxx
  • December 16, 2005 12:30 PM GMT
    Hi all

    I'm just about to start my last shift at work as a male. I'm already wearing my new name badge so other members of staff are getting used to my new name.
    Last night I went through the formalities of changing my name so now I am officially Alina June Wicks.
    So by about 6pm tonight there will be no use for most of my male clothes. Alina will be full time from this evening.

    Bye for now - I have to go to work.

    Alina xx
  • January 3, 2006 10:12 AM GMT
    Well how has the first couple of weeks been/
    When I got home from my last male shift at work on 16th of December off came my shoes and they went straight in the bin. Over the weekend clothes were sorted to see what should go to the charity shops and what was no use.
    The Sunday night saw Alina's first public outing with her work colleagues - this was the Christmas Dinner and everything went marvellously well. Alina spent most of the evening dancing with both male and female workmates. At work everything has gone well also. The real girls bring clothes to me and say "Alina this would suit you". I need more pay to buy it all. I'm now down to less that 13 stone in weight and some size 14 skirts are now loose. So I can't buy too much just now in case I have to start buying size 12.

    Thanks for all your support, Love Alina.
  • January 4, 2006 4:35 PM GMT

    Reading your posts and I am very happy for you. It's great to see that this experience has been a positive one so far.

    Like Mere, it gives me hope for my future in a couple of years as I will be going through the same thing.

    Keep us posted on how it's going.

    Congratulations to you!!

    Best Wishes, Hon!


  • April 24, 2006 11:53 AM BST
    Hi Girls
    This is a bit of an update. I've put it here because it follows on from what I've said before.
    I'm now starting the fifth month of my Real Life Experience and on that front everything is going very well. I'm fully accepted as Alina at work - although some still ask me to do some of the heavier tasks.
    I'm on my first month of prescribed hrt and anti-testosterone tablets so more progress will occur soon.
    I've had a holiday in Scotland and one in Torbay as well as weekends on the English south coast so Alina is getting out and about.
    Regulars in the local rugby club and our pub are always asking for progress updates, it's nice that people are interested and that I can openly go to such places.

    Will update again soon

    Love Alina xxxx
  • April 24, 2006 12:01 PM BST

    I'm glad to see you back and hear everything is going so well. I hope it stays that way and hope the best for you in the future


    ~Valerie x x
  • April 24, 2006 6:41 PM BST
    For those interested I've been prescribed the following:
    Ethinylestradiol 50 micrograms per day - Estrogen
    Cyproterone Acetate 100 micrograms a day - Anti-testosterone.
  • October 19, 2006 1:50 PM BST
    I remember when I started this thread, it seems such a long time ago. Do I pass today? Well I definitely do. I spend a lot more time in the shop now than I used to and therefore meet lots of customers. I have my own hair and have actually had it cut at least 4 times since starting to grow it again. Socially we use the local pubs, restaurants and social clubs, fitting in well with others. With Bob (Belinda) my fiance and on my own I've travelled to lots of places by train. This weekend we are off to Wisbech to celebrate our engagement with my family.

    I may not be the best looking girl but I'm very happy with life as Alina.

    Love Alina xxx
    • 1083 posts
    October 25, 2006 7:39 AM BST
    Alina, hon--

    This is great news. May I add my congrats, and do keep us posted--I love a success story!

    Luv 'n hugs,

    Dr. Mina Sakura
  • October 31, 2006 1:47 PM GMT
    Well I'm back off my holiday and hopefully I'll be here on Trannyweb more often than of late.
    On the day that our hols started I collected a hire car in town and drove for the first time in 10 months. It was also the first time I'd used Alina's licence and not Alan's. Our drive to my dad's place included a stop for dinner on the way. On Saturday we visited Wisbech and strolled around the market and shops. I wondered how many of those that passed me knew my former self or even went to school with me. Saturday afternoon saw us at a large garden centre near Spalding. Saturday evening was out for a meal to celebrate our engagement. On Sunday we visited a place that I used to spend many a weekend and holiday as a youngster - Hunstanton on the Norfolk coast. We were there all day. On Monday saw us in Norwich, Wroxham and the Broads, finishing off for dinner in Great Yarmouth. On Wednesday Bob became Belinda when we visited a former school friend who lives in Peterborough. I wonder what would have happened if we had know about our cross dressing whilst still at school. A wonderful time was had thinking back to the 50s and 60s. Home on Thursday followed by a weekend of going here and there.

    Can't wait until my next holiday in February.
  • December 23, 2007 3:18 PM GMT
    Hi Everyone
    Well as we approach Christmas 2007 I realised that I had not done as promised last year. I had not kept you all up to date with my progress.
    Well it's been just over two years since I started my Real Life Experience. Things have gone great in that time. In September 2007 I finally had my first appointment at the Charing Cross Gender Identity Clinic (CX). This went very well and I had my first recommendation for surgery. My next appointment is in early January. I've also got around to starting my treatment with laser hair removal. It started in December 2007 and the next appointment is a few days before I go to CX. The only thing I didn't like was the smell of burning hair drifting up my nose.
    In the past I only worked a little of each shift at work in the shop now it's most of my time. I have some great conversations with customers.
    I'm a regular attender at Oxford's New Theatre. Socially my fiance and I use a local social club and our rugby club. We still travel around the country on holidays.
    Yes life for Alina is a lot better than it was when Alan existed.

    Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year to everyone.

    Lots of love Alina
  • December 24, 2007 10:32 AM GMT
    Hi Sue
    I feel that I'm lucky to have progressed in the way I have. I've not had any real support along the way apart from my dad and my partner. However my greatest support has been Matalan - the retail outlet in lots of towns. Management at company and branch level accepted it when I told them that I no longer intended being the bloke that they employed. Now they and the store staff have all forgotten Alan and treat Alina as their friend and colleague.
    My biggest problems have come from the PCT in this area. They set certain criteria and it was meeting these that meant it was almost two years between seeing the consulting psychiatrist and getting my first appointment at Charing Cross GIC. The next problem with the PCT will be SRS funding.
    I've thoroughly enjoyed the last two years and I'm very happy that I'm slowly becoming the female I have wanted to be for over 50 years.

    Lots of love
    Merry Christmas
  • January 7, 2008 8:49 PM GMT
    Hi Rae
    You'll realise that I'm not very regular on here. But I'm having another look at the site.
    I'm sure I baffle people as to my age. I was born on 26th January 1950, therefore in less than three weeks I'll be celebrating my 58th birthday. Then in 2 years time I get both my army and civil service pensions.
    On Saturday night we had our annual work party and even those girls who knew me as Alan said I was in my early 40s. It's nice to receive such compliments but it's true. I must change my profile pic to a more up to date one. The current profile pic was taken before I started to transition.
    Today I had my second treatment for laser hair removal and on Thursday I have my second appointment at Charing Cross.

    So this 57 year old will sign off now.

    Love Alina
  • January 7, 2008 8:52 PM GMT
    Hi Sue
    Like most girls transitioning I think I've heard everything there is to hear about the PCTs and CX. Yes I've had my problems with the PCT especially as it has changed since I started my transition. However I've not been involved with CX to pass comment on them. My first appointment was a success in my eyes and I'll know more on Thursday after my second appointment.

  • January 13, 2008 6:09 PM GMT
    dear girls i have been going to cdi in new york city for five years now and i have been doing it dressed as phylis love phylisanneanne .being dressed and going out in new york city is one of the best things i have ever done.
  • January 26, 2008 9:56 AM GMT
    I have to admit that the pic that shows against my entries is an old one taken a few years back at a friend's in Colchester. In those days I did wear a wig and breast forms.
    So maybe it's not a true representation of me. Today I have my own hair (had it trimmed again last Thursday) which is coloured rather being its natural grey. My breasts are my own although they are only an A-cup.
    A couple of weeks ago I had my second recommendation for surgery from the Gender Identity Clinic at Charing Cross Hospital. So I look forward to the day when I eventually have my SRS.

    Now the bit that upsets others in a similar position to myself. I'm not going to have FFS because all surgeons I've spoken too say that I look very natural for a lady of my age (58 today). I'm not going to have breast augmentation - I'm happy with what I have.

    The only thing I'm having done at present is Laser Hair Removal and even that leaves the silver hairs on my chin.

    Alina xx
    • 1195 posts
    January 26, 2008 10:11 PM GMT
    Happy Birthday Alina - 58 is still young. I hope you were upset with the doctor's referralto "at your age."
    Join me, I'm not leaving....as Jack Benny used to say.
  • January 27, 2008 7:23 PM GMT
    Your wish is my command. The pic is one taken last summer before going to the theatre. I have no recent head and shoulders pics of me.

    Now a favour. How do I change Male to Female Transvestite / Crossdresser to Male to Female Transsexual?

    Alina xx
  • January 27, 2008 10:59 PM GMT
    Thanks Katie.
    Glad you like the change of pic. That was the real me a few months ago. Bob (Belinda) took a pic of me last night but we haven't downloaded it yet. It has me in a beige suit.

    Alina xxx
  • January 31, 2008 6:22 AM GMT
    My pic is now more up to date. This was taken on Saturday 26th January 2008 (my 58th birthday). It was taken outside the Long Wall restaurant in Oxford.

  • February 11, 2008 8:13 AM GMT
    Hi All
    Bob/Belinda and I got home from holiday yesterday and as expected there was a big pile of mail for us to look at. After sorting out the junk and bills I had three letters to open.
    The first was "Medical Report A" for my Geneder Recognition Certificate Application from Dr Stuart Lorimer at Charing Cross.
    The second an appointment for the Plastic Surgery Clinic for 28th February. Things are moving on.
    The third was a copy of a letter stating that the Oxfordshire PCT would not fund my surgery unless Charing Cross can define mine as an exceptional case.
    So after being on a high I came down a little. It looks as though I now have to find the money for my op.

    Alina xx
  • March 7, 2008 3:20 PM GMT
    Well my visit to the surgeon was great. I've had the go ahead for my surgery. It should be in approximately 4 months time. I have to remove my pubic hair before the date of admission to the hospital. As you can imagine I'm really looking towards the future now.
    Alina xx
  • March 25, 2008 4:15 PM GMT
    Funding for my SRS has been refused by the Primary Care Trust so I'm going private. My op is due on 19th July.

    Alina xx
  • September 16, 2008 3:21 PM BST
    I've just looked back at my first post in this thread. December 2005 seems a long time ago now. A lot has happened to me since then. Most of the changes have also been seen by my work colleagues. I now have my own breasts, my own hair and I'm treated as a female everywhere I go.
    Today made me realise how accepted I've been in the local community. Although I haven't lived in Oxford for very long I did get known as Alan and so lots of people have seen the changes in me. Today I was in one of the banks when one a Polish Teller said "Good morning. I haven't seen you for a few weeks, how are you?" "I had a short spell in hospital and I've been off work for a few weeks," I replied. "Ah you must have had your operation then. I hope everything went well for you and that you are now happy being one of us ladies," she said. "I'm very happy," came my reply. She then said that I was looking very well and that my hair colour and condition looked very nice. By this time she had finished dealing with me and we wished each other a good day as I left. It's things like this that make me very happy.

    Yes I do pass.
  • September 27, 2009 9:22 AM BST
    Hi ALina

    It is stories like yours that help me keep going.

    Thanks for posting it

  • January 15, 2010 1:06 PM GMT
    Im really proud of all of you

    because you manage to have a stable job even if you are a ts... in my case its hard... here in our country philippines companies are very strict to ts people... and im a graduating college student and i dont know what will happen to my career after I graduated...

    *** The rest of this post has been deleted by Trannyweb moderators. Please do not use our forums in future, to beg for money. ***
    • 2463 posts
    December 5, 2005 1:43 PM GMT
    Alina, thanks for your posting. Every time I read something about my TS sisters making strides it helps me to anticipate what will happen.

    Good luck. By the way, you look cute, so I wouldn't worry about passing!

    • 1652 posts
    December 5, 2005 1:32 PM GMT
    Hi Alina, congratulations on your appointment and your decision. Laura is right, don’t worry about passing. There’s no stipulation in the NHS RLE that says you have to pass, else you fail. And you don’t even have to pass to get through day to day life (I know that I don’t pass), but of course it helps if you are able to “blend in”, and clearly you can do that. I’m sure we’d all like to be completely passable, but what really matters is how you react within yourself when people read you. You mustn’t let it bother you, or else you may be in for a rough ride. People recognise that I am TS, and so what? I am!
    Be proud of who you are, and what you are doing, and enjoy the ride.
    • 2627 posts
    January 3, 2006 12:49 PM GMT
    Hi Alina
    I've been waiting to hear how it went. Am so glad things went smooth. Your co-workers sound to be good people.
    So your New Year is starting off on a good note.
    • 1652 posts
    April 24, 2006 12:09 PM BST
    5 months? Seems like only yesterday.
    Can I ask exactly what you have been prescribed? (Just curious).
    • 2627 posts
    April 24, 2006 12:17 PM BST
    It's nice to hear from you. Sounds as though things are going well.
    • 530 posts
    December 23, 2007 5:34 PM GMT
    Hi Alina.

    This is actually the first time I read this post, sorry. I am so happy for you, and even more pleased that your experiences mirrored mine in so many ways.

    I hear of so many girls who have problems at work, with families, friends and just going about our business as ourselves that it is heartening to hear that you have had such a good experience, as I did.

    I know it will not have all been plain sailing, but it sounds mostly so, and I wish you well for the future.

    Sue. XX
    • 530 posts
    December 24, 2007 11:30 PM GMT
    Do NOT get me started on PCT's and Charing Cross!

    I have made numerous posts about both, none complimentary, and will not mention them here other than to say that I too have had more problems from them than all else put together, so know only too well where you're coming from!
    • 734 posts
    December 31, 2007 12:56 AM GMT
    Hi Alina,

    Hey hun, so glad everything went so well for you [have just caught this thread].

    Ok, you've done everything right, you're looking good, your transitioning into a gorgeous girl.

    But there's one area you've clearly got wrong. Very wrong. Hunni, let me give you a bit of what is obviously much needed advice....

    .... girls take years OFF their age, you should'nt add them ON!!!

    There is no way that girl in the photo has waited fifty years to be what she's becoming! And I checked your profile again - you've clearly taken a decade or more off your date of birth!

    There's no need to feel ashamed you're yet to hit the big four - o, honestly hun!

    Way to go girl, much love to you, you're looking fantastic.

    Rae xx
    • 2127 posts
    January 26, 2008 2:27 PM GMT
    Happy birthday Alina and please do continue to keep us informed of your progress.

    Also, why not change you profile photo so we can see the real you as you are now rather than the wig and breastforms of several years ago?

    And yes, I agree - you can't be a day over 40!


    Katie x
    • 1652 posts
    January 26, 2008 3:32 PM GMT
    Happy birthday, babe!
    Not sure why anyone should get upset with you not wanting FFS, but I agree, you don't need it anyway. All the best with your continuing journey.
    • 2573 posts
    January 27, 2008 5:29 AM GMT
    Happy Birthday, Alina.
    • 2127 posts
    January 27, 2008 9:10 PM GMT
    Hi Alina,

    Your Persuassion has been changed, as requested. Great pic by the way!


    Katie x