hi girls....i need some advice...im a preopt tranny in love with a man...and im having my first motel experience with him sunday afternoon.....


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.......give me your thoughts about all of this girls......should i go ahead and see him and make love with him?......dianetrannygirl

im sorry....i didnt plan for it to be so graphic....but this is the scenario ill be facing this weekend and since it is my first time i wanted some advice from my fellow preopt trannygirls. we are all adults here (kids shouldnt be on this site anyway)....after all even tho ive been a tranny since i was a teenager its still somewhat taboo....i thought i could get some straight, helping advice from my fellow trannygirls at least on this website. my letter was an honest appeal for advice and tips to help me.......i didnt get on here for pornograhic enjoyment of it. regardless of what we all say here the number one scenario for many of us is to make love with a biological virile male who we care about and want............eventually..........dont be such a prude...if i were on here for a very different reason you would be right-on....but im not...........read my story above and help me get ready............im insecure about this affair sunday and need some assurance from my fellow trannygirls....please.....

I remember one very active member at this site - a ts woman - being quite graphic about taking someone in the mouth last year. Seemed OK then... more than OK, something to learn from i'd say. But of course, that was last year, and we may all have moved onto a higher moral plane now...

Seriously, Diane...
I'm not exactly experienced with this, but in general... surely it depends on how well you know this man ? And then, besides that: Our fears are mostly of our own making. It has been said so many times about coming out. But i'm quite sure the same thing can be said about having sex with a man too. Try to think about how well you really may know him. Perhaps that will help you see if there's anything to fear at all. And, then, well, enjoy... xx

thanks for your answer.......i know and love this man.....hes always wanted to make love to a tranny....thats his fantasy........well there are two biggies when making love with a man and being a tranny.........sucking him is one the other is him making love inside me....i know him very well and i fear nothing from our love making and i want him inside me without a condom....i want to "feel him" in me....as releases his pleasure inside of me......i want that womanly feeling.......have you ever made love to a man sabrina?....and i think its so sexy to have only your stockings and heels on when hes enjoying me.....and making me moan with delight.....thanks for any help you can give me sabrina...xxxxxdiane

maryanne..im not looking for committment.....i want him to make love to me as a virile man for my first time.......i want to go outa my mind with pleasure knowing im pleasing him as a "woman".........thats BIG

maryanne...this guy is pure......and clean....for a fact ..im taking him in me naturally......i love him....and want him....all the way........xxxx

Diane, if you think that you may be satisfying him as a "woman", i'd say you're plain wrong. You may think of yourself like somehow a woman, but he says he's fantasizing about a tranny ? So, you'll be satisfying him like that and nothing else. And anyway, you can't make love to him like a woman as long as you have not fully transitioned, SRS and all. It doesn't mean you shouldn't go ahead with whatever you're planning.

Besides that, i guess this thread would perhaps have been better placed in another forum. But then you would have to be a full member.

I'm with Hanna on this one. USE A CONDOM!!!

Stacy

1) I learned of this from friends in another subculture, and it's excellent advice for trannies as well: arrange a "silent alarm" partner. Ask someone who knows about Diane to be available at a certain time in the evening for you to call and check in with an update on how you're doing (and set your watch alarm, to make sure that you call when you need to -- also, be totally up front about this with him ahead of time, just let him know that it's a personal rule on first dates, or advice given... chances are, if he's a good date and aware of the risks trannies face, he should understand perfectly). If you fail to call, this person is to have authorities check out the address of the motel to make sure you're okay. Have an inconspicuous code word or phrase decided on so that if things are really going badly but you feel threatened, you can indicate this to your silent alarm friend without tipping him off.

This seems extreme, but the fact is, dating while in transition can be extremely dangerous. How he feels about trannies can change like night and day, once the deed is done. It happens a lot, and then guys can suddenly get feeling guilty, and blame you for what's making them uncomfortable in their head.

2) They are right. Use a rubber. Also, be cautious about performing oral if you have any cuts on your gums or in your mouth, because there is some risk in that case as well.

3) If you haven't done the alternate route before, there's really no way to know how it is going to be for you. It can really hurt if not done right. Use lots of lube. You also have to be sure to be wide and as relaxed as possible. Avoid any temptation to tense up, and have him start slow and gentle. If you have a toy you can slip a rubber over and do a trial run with, it might help you prepare.

I had to go back to the top of the page to make sure I was in the Trannyweb Forum, and hadn't unwttingly stumbled into the PENTHOUSE BLEEDIN' FORUM!

'nuff said.

Well, we can afford to be less explicit than the original post, but this can also be terrifying (and potentially dangerous) stuff to not know.

thank you very much for all of your caring advice....im thinking about it...and will act accordingly.....i just found ouyt out first hand how important the "tranny community" can be to help one another and im very impressed...THANK ALL OF YOU!!..especially mercedes!!..kisses diane

Mercedes, I totally agree with all that you and our other members have said. It would appear that we have had the desired positive effect on Diane's plans, and we hope that she will follow all these recommendations to make her first such experience safe and enjoyable.

Now that our mission in this respect has been accomplished, it would be my suggestion that this thread be deleted.

I agree. This thread has served it's purpose, it can seem. My impression was, by the way, that Diane asked for advice exactly because she felt sort of over the top... Quite easy to see from her first post.

And i agree about those schoolgirl insinuations too. It has been mentioned before, but seems to be a difficult subject to handle... I really find explicitness much to prefer. It can be dealt with, one way or another, like this thread clearly show. If anyone well past 40, or 30, or 20 for that matter, had made similarly explicit posts about sex with schoolgirls i guess they would have received a serious warning, and the posts in question would have been deleted immediately. Hence, the insinuations...

As for the question of policy, i would say that if i had been doing some kind of surveillance work, a certain kind of insinuations is exactly what i would have been looking for. It means, the way i see it, that under certain circumstances, it could bring the site in serious trouble. Unlike what Diane has been doing here.

I would have to say that it's all a matter of conscience. People, upon coming here, should be able to see what kind of place this is, and behave accordingly. When they are unwilling or unable to do so, then each individual case should be considered for appropriate action.

Well I guess I am going to break the trend here.

I think your excitement and enthusiasm for your weekend has encouraged you to be a little over detailed and fetishistic in your posting. I do assure you however that everyone dose have your best interests at heart when they say safe sex is BEST…. You really will not be able to tell too much difference during intercourse I assure you. It is much cleaner also.

I hope that both of you are being totally up front with his partner about your intension as if you are not be prepared for a lot of guilt on both parts and a bitter divorce in the winds.

It would do you a lot better if you were to choose your words and descriptions a little better as a hint is much better than a sledge hammer approach. After all is this the thing you would tell your own mother? I think you would edit your words there.

Any how enjoy your weekend but try not to build it up into more than it really is as that will disappoint you.

So well said Gloria.......

Just for the record... I agree of course, about the use of condoms, though i did not mention it in my posts. My intention was pretty much what you said there, Wendy: Think. Stop and THINK. When anybody writes the way Diane did here it usually means their mind is spinning - with questions, and is having a hard time stopping. It means, in my view, that it would simply be irresponsible to block posts like these instantly - the very opposite of giving support and advice to the people who might need it most.

I must say i wonder why some people at this site seem so intent upon blocking the discussion of certain issues. That was not how things were when most of us signed in here. So, it really means denying new members the right to the same learning experiences we had. It can seem some people see themselves in sort of a "parenting" role now - in accordance with the new "family policy". I guess the "problem" with posts like Diane's can be solved in a quite simple way. Just put up a big sign at the entrance saying:

FAMILY ORIENTED SITE. PLEASE CONSIDER THAT SOME OF OUR MOST ACTIVE MEMBERS ARE SMALL CHILDREN. NO EXPLICIT SEX TALK. SUGGESTIONS ABOUT SCHOOL GIRLS ONLY.

And why not put up a link to the AFA ?

As for my own problem with threads like these it's not about the content, but the fact that some of the members here have been baiting people in the past. So, sometimes it can be difficult to know if certain posts are seriously meant. Some weeks ago one new member did a thing like that to me. I had answered a couple of her first posts with serious intent, whereupon she denied ever having read my words. It's the kind of thing that works to undermine the confidence in this site, of course. And the character of Diane's post here made me wonder again. But i simply felt it would be irresponsible not to answer. After all, her post could just as well be for real.

And I retract my support for having this thread deleted. I find it to be of great general interest.

Heh... i guess persuading everyone into doing the same thing - talking to themselves - could be one way of avoiding the straight jacket ? (Seriously, that is how a certain kind of TG politics seem to me.)

Wendy... i was in fact compared to Ziggy by one of the administrators of this site - told that i was "mucking about in the forums" and that i had no business with doing that. (Only a couple of months after receiving more or less an official eulogy from the same person ?) Well, i was trying to shake up some ideas... about transgenderism.

I'm still not sure exactly why Ziggy left. I know there was that conflict with me. But there seemed to be more to it than that, from what i have been able to guess. According to that one administrator he had been threatening people. I simply don't know enough to say what really happened. But this thing with baiting tells me that there may be more than one side to that story. The fact that i was compared to a person that supposedly had threatened someone told me that any lie really is possible.

I guess Diane's first post here could be considered "mucking about in the forums" too - considered from a strictly hypocritical point of view.

As for shooting a BB gun at one's friends...
I don't consider this a place where i am much likely to find any real friends any more. So, my gratulations to the hateful hypocrite bastards finding pleasure in breaking down my trust in this place.

One example: There has been a couple of norwegians visiting this site a few times this summer. I considered sending one of them a message - as she seemed to be living here in Oslo - but when i had a message from an administrator friend of the person baiting me, saying that perhaps one of those norwegians would like to meet me.. well, i simply ruled it out.

Needless to say perhaps, that the same hypocrites gladly would deny girls like Diane lifesaving support and advice, if they were in any position to do so. All in the interest of the very loftiest of ideals of course.

OK Wendy, there was a good point in your post, if Diane has posted in an inappropriate forum, then where should she post it ?

I am not clear why posting in a members only forum would avoid underage readers, is it not possible to be a full member under age ?

And of course as Diane is not a full member, this would not help her anyway, though I would hope that given the level of quality advice she is getting here, she would now consider joining

A forum, available to anyone, but for explicit subject material seems to be the way to go. After all, if anyone reads anything in there that offends them, they have only themselves to blame.

If such a forum were created, this post should be moved there rather than deleted, because despite its explicit content, it contains some valuable information for everyone.

Diane could of course have been more subtle obout how she worded this, but this is just her MO, and I don't think she should be attacked for that. If she cannot turn to us for help, then where can she go.

I am glad that this post has survived, I think in this PC world of 2006 we are all too ready to wield the sword of censorship and forget that freedom of expression and freedom of speech are rights that get trampled all over. Put it in a clearly marked explicit chat to avoid offending anyone.

How about we put it to the vote ?

What should we do with this thread ?
1:	Delete it
2:	Leave it alone
3:	Move it to a explicit forum

Is anyone really this puritanical in this day and age ?

Perhaps there is some real problem with companies like paypal and others. But why ? Isn't that exactly because of the "puritanical" view - the lack of any differentiating ability: sex=filth ? Logical in a way, of course: Being absolutely pure on the outside, while at the same time locking up a pile of shit on the inside.

Hi Karen, that kind of reinforces my point, if it were in a public forum, but one CLEARLY marked to contain explicit posts, then surely we could have this kind of chat without offending anyone

I just really still think that someone with two brain cells to rub together should be able to see that this site does not exist for the purpose of sharing or fueling sexual or fetishistic fantasies. Oh, I'm sorry, I forgot that we were talking about someone who, in 2006, is considering unprotected sex with a stranger.

I hope to recommend that the original post in the thread be at least edited for content, but that the discussion it stimulated, containing so much valuable information, be preserved.

Wendy,

stupidity may to some extent be a question of circumstance too. Fear tends to make people stupid. Why do so many women stay in abusive relationships ? I really find it too easy to say it's simply a question of stupidity. They may act stupidly, but out of fear - from real or imagined threats of violence.

I did in fact try to point out this difference to Ziggy (i was a new member and still thought i could make him see a certain kind of reason) He was talking down some ts girl he knew - as she had been voting for the British National Party. Stupidity pure and simple according to him. And of course, he was right, the act as such was stupid. But there could be more than one reason for acting stupidly. Fear, first of all. And feeling safe depends on a number of social factors - like if any one at all cares.

Whether it is the act or the person that is stupid matters little. Those who practice unprotected sex with strangers in this day and age may, themselves, well be examples of Darwinism of a sort.

Sometimes....people confuse IGNORANCE as STUPIDITY. It's isn't.

Very good point. Why is everyone so astounded that Diane doesn't have the experience to tell her the risks of unprotected sex? Many of us pre-transition were so adverse to our old bodies and the outie we got stuck with that we stayed out of relationships altogether, and had no need to pay attention to the sex ed of our time. So the teenage voyage of discovery comes much later.

Of course, everyone's experiences are different, but I'd think that at least a few of us would remember that.

But then Karen did in fact show that she cared too:

I'm sorry & please don't take this wrong.
This should not be posted in a public forum for any to see.
It's not that I see anything wrong with what you want to do. I don't. I just think you used a little to much detail for the public to read here.

If the thread had been deleted after the first post - as suggested by one member here - then she would never have experienced that. And the fact that she did may well have helped her with calming down a bit and take in the advice she was given.

I should mention perhaps that in my book the adherence to social darwinism spells NAZI MENTALITY.

Omg don’t we seem to have lost the plot here and started to concentrate on bickering between our selves.
I am lost at the insulting inferences and oxymoronic discussion going on here with little to no bearing on the original post.
What is really going on here …….if had been me making the original post I would be asking myself if my peers are even fit to question me after this.

This seem to happen all to often now !!!!!

Tori,
It dose not matter whose opinion is right or wrong as every one has one but, being condescending is inappropriate. Your comments are basically an echo of what every one including my self has said. Re-enforcement is a positive action; derogatory words are miss-placed and negative as it will drive a defensive posture and your point is lost in the wording along with the good intent.

Please don’t think I am against you in fact I commend you statement that unprotected intercourse is extremely ill advised as most STD / HIV / AIDS carriers don’t even know that have it until the physical signs show themselves and by then it is way to late. Many of them will have transmitted the infection to others where it will incubate and grow in the new host. The time frame could range from almost immediate knowledge to many years before knowing you have an infection.

Sara’s tip on STD / HIV / AIDS
Test after each and every partner ……..protect your own life and heath with a condom.

I would have to disagree with you there, Sara. I think Tori's comments are entirely appropriate for her purpose. Condescending and degrading shit talk is exactly what may be needed to drive off unwanted and "subhuman" elements. Some people, if they are scared, insecure or stupid enough will undeservedly take her words into their hearts, i'm sure. And at least in the view of some people the world will have become a cleaner and better place, in good keeping with the very best social darwinist traditions.

just the answer i would expect from you Sbrina oh well some things never change

Tori tried to do much the same thing with me only a few weeks ago - drive me away. And it could seem it was about some sex related issue then too, way back in march. And i was not the one posting "explicit" material. In fact, i was accused of driving away the member doing that. She seemed to have the same victorian sex=shit view as Tori. Well... at least she was open about the possible reason for it.

So, you're right, some things do not change. The same obsession with shit appear again. If you read my first post on this thread i simply tried to ask Diane to think. My impression was that she did.

And it's not true that Tori was simply "echoing" the opinions of everyone else here. In her first post she really said Diane deserved no answer. And some of the other comments imply that she just don't care if some of the girls coming here live or die. Tori has a right to her opinion of course, and i would think i had the same. But then again, I could be wrong, as always.

I also find it quite interesting, Sara, that you were the one giving this thread a new negative turn after Karen's positive comment to me. I doubt Tori would have made hers without your intro, and Karens saddened answer. And then i would not have made mine to Tori. I'm sure you made your comment with the very best of intentions though, and with not too much thought for how Karen might feel. In my view, what she told us on another thread today show the same responsive and caring attitude.

Where HIV is concerned, testing after each partner is of little use, as the virus can take an average of six months to germinate. So, in fact, prevention is the ONLY and best means of protection.

I was involved in public education efforts with the Health Education Resource Organization in Baltimore some twenty years ago, and it is apparent that though these efforts have been successful to some degree, it is an ongoing thing. Just because the information is available, doesn't mean that people actually access or assimilate it.

While specific knowledge about such aspects as germination time, etc. may not be common, one thing is pretty much common knowledge. Use of condoms is the essential element and the first and best line of defense against the virus, and to ignore or deny this and engage in unprotected sex with strangers is a dangerous and foolhardy pursuit.

No matter how it has been expressed in this thread, it has been in the spirit of providing the best possible advice to this misguided soul who initiated it. I don't think that anyone wants to see Diane suffer any negative consequence from her actions. On this we all agree, so let's all just mellow out and feel secure in the knowledge that together we have fulfilled the principle mission of support that characterizes Trannyweb.

Let's move on to some other thread where we can find something new to lock horns over. I'm starting to think that this one might be headed for suspension.

Robyn I whole heartedly agree with you that the best line of defense is knowledge and a condom, as you say it has obviously been re-enforced by many here in different ways. I also agree that periodic testing is not that helpful it you are going to sleep with every Tom, Dick and Harry on the block in a short time frame but if you go positive at least you have an idea of how many people you may have passed it on to in the gestation time frame.
Dianne has inferred a couple of times she knows this person quite well and he is not a stranger to her which is commendable in the fact that she is not picking up a stranger to her.
Oh well it is time for work and I don’t want to be misunderstood again so I am going to let it go.
Sara

I agree with you, Tori. My impression was that the first post here could have been written by a fetishistic fantasist, or even a sadistic hypocrite bastard posing as a fetishistic fantasist just for the fun of it. Still, i thought, there is some chance it simply was the true expression of a scared and confused girl. Now, if it really were posted by a fetishistic fantasist or someone posing as such it could lead to a interesting result anyway, that's how i saw it. And i'd say i was right.

And like i said on another thread yesterday - the good thing is that, all in all, the world becomes a better place. For certain sadistic hypocrite bastards anyway. I must admit i wondered about that thread too - it could possibly have been started by someone posing as an HRT fetishist. We can never really know. That's why the chatroom could have been such a good help with keeping this place safe from sadistic hypocrite bastards. Could have been, if it weren't for the fact that it seems to work as some kind of bastard hypocrite network. Well, i just don't take part in that.

in case you girls are wondering I AN FOR REAL......IM NOT BAITING ANYONE.....my cry was for help at a pivital time last week when i was making my decision whether or not to have bareback sex with my man. my head was spinning i wanted him so......all of your posts were terrific in helping me make THE RIGHT DECISION.......we met had great sex.......ALL BECAUSE OF YOU GIRLS HERE ON THE TRANNYWEB...i told him sunday NO CONDOM NO SEX........that was right after i closed the motel door to his room and he started kissing me deeply and unbuttoning my

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.....i shoved him back and laid out the ground rules..........YOU GIRLS SAVED MY LIFE.....soometimes its not easy to make the right decision and your heads swimimming with love and sex and wanting him inside you so bad........i knew that he should use a condom but i wanted his.....

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.....i am very graphic in my descriptions THATS THE WAY I AM.......ABOUT LOVE, AND LIFE.......im not trying to be pornoigrahic.......and another thing ....i cant imagine why kids would be onb this site anyway unless they were teens and having a transgender problem.......and sex is all part of that......on the other hand there are people who woulds exploit this site I AM NOT ONE OF THEM.........i have been a tranny since i was 18 im now 50.......im pre-opt.....the only male thing about me is between my legs...and its always been a plus for my man to have both sides of the sexual encounter.......he loves the (2-fold)sexy bazaar part of being a tranny....it heightens out love making sessions......again thanks for all the advice and response on my thread........i love you girls .....and you are so articulate......and loving..........dont be unset with my exlicit descriptions thats just the way i am.......it makes diane who i want to be......again this weekend was a torrid, exciting, safe, forbidden, and midblowing sexual encounter with a man who really opened up my trannyness and i enjoyed every moment..(that is after your advice about condoms brought me back down to earth)....kisses everyone diane

katie.......im new to posting thrwads here and i guess i picked the wrong one......im not ready to become a full time member but i have learnbed quite a bit my tranny girfriends here...THEY CARE ABOUT ME AND MY LIFE AS A TRANNY......whether or not they agree about my writing style or not.......i didnt mean to create a problem, but i did think that since this is a tranny site i could bve more liberal with my descriptions of real happenings in my recent life......i mean being a tranny is not the norm....most people would and do consider us freaks or crazy or in need of counseling......which we DONT of course........being a real tranny is a great relief to express your feminiity without the ridicule from the outside uninformed and uncaring world. these forums here need to deal directly with the problems we face as trannys....most oif it dealing with misunderstanding and sexual prowess....or realationships with real men......(whichk a lot of us especially me) enjoys a great deal........there is no feeling in the world that can compare to the man you love loving you as a woman or entering you as a woman...or pleasing you as a woman....its an extroadinary feeling.....sex is much better as a tranny and i experienced that firsat hand this weekend with my loverxxxxxxxxxxxxxkisses diane

one more thing katie........since anal entry is the sexual normal for us trannygirls......i think it would also be a great idea to cover the subject of getting to have it.....and how to have it.......also covering the many creams lotions and other products that make anal sex so great........also the proper techniques that will help our lovers to absolutely blow our tranny minds...if its done properly and gently and with love........all of this has to be covered too......its our way of being totally satisfied as a tranny.....its not just the clothes or makeup or heels.......it finally will boil down to i want my man all the way...NOW HOW DO I DO IT....AND ENJOY IT...............diane

Hm, this is new to me. I mean, there's nothing wrong with anal sex as such, but is this really normal ? My impression was that most transvestites were pretty satisified, happy even with being males - sexually ? In fact, i seem to remember several members of this site referring to themselves as simply "blokes in dresses" ? Of course, there are a pretty large group of gays among transvestites too - say 10% or so - like in the population at large. And then there is the pretty small group of transsexuals identifying as women. But surely, most transvestites are pretty normal heterosexual guys ? Well, i guess we never really can know these days.

Still, my impression is that "Diane" must have got this thing with the number of gay or bi transvestites the wrong way somehow ? And her posts do seem a bit obsessive, reminds me even of the departed member i referred to in a previous post on this thread. He was pretty obsessed with this anal and oral thing too. But he was an absolutely normal heterosexual guy ? I have wondered about that sometimes. Why is it that some normal heterosexual guys still give the impression of being obsessed with normal homosexual gays ? Could there be some similar thing with normal heterosexual transvestites and normal homosexual transvestites ?

Well, I must agree with Joni. Though we often disagree, and sometimes even bicker, I know that any one of my sisters on this site would walk over hot coals for me, and in fact, some of them have. I would do the same for any of them, as well. After all is said and done, we are all here to celebrate our similarities, not to emphasize our differences.

Again with the labels. Why not dispense with the "hetero, homo, bi" prefixes and just be sexual. If, of course, that's what one fancies.

Safely, of course.

M/A i think that would make me lucky, if i was unattached.

I had only once a man as a pre-op. And I did not like it, because he was too interested in my male parts, which I hated myself. So I decided not to have anyone before my SRS. After my SRS I have had altogether 14 men, I just counted them and most of them didn´t even know my trans background. among them one medical doctor...
And I don´t actually like to be counted into the tranny cathegory or meet admirers. I don´t know why but I don´t like to be admired for the past I would like to forget myself.

Laura

Good point, Wendy, and sage advice.

I thought Thrush was the evil organization from the "Man From U.N.C.L.E."