February 3, 2009 10:59 AM GMT
Hi all,
I'm new to Trannyweb, and new as a woman - just over 18 months now. I am replying in particular to JoAnn Donaldson's post of July 14, 2008. I feel that
JoAnn hit it right on the head. I have been going out in public as a woman ever since I made the decision to be one. I have found that her suggestions are
so right! The only thing I could even think to change in her four rules would be to put #1 last. Although definitely important, I feel that should be so obvious
as to be almost unnecessary, but some girls do tend to dress to draw attention to themselves, which increases the chances of being read. The other
three rules are great, and so true - in the order they are listed. I did those three (wearing the only outfit I owned) the first time I went out in public. To my
great surprise and pleasure, the three things to remember (below the four rules) were exactly what happened to me - nothing! By those three criteria, I
passed, even though I was scared to death, and did not expect to get very far before someone started shouting at or about me! For you girls who have
not been out in public, let alone in broad daylight in a mall, let me tell you what a thrill it is to have absolutely nothing negative happen! I went into that mall
with exactly those three things foremost in my mind, repeating them to myself as I walked. I am totally convinced that if I had not had that attitude firmly in
mind, I would have run out of there in tears! People see what they expect to see - and apparently, that's what they saw - just another busy, friendly-looking, smiling woman out clothes shopping. Any sign of nervousness, or looking around to see if anyone is looking at you, will result in your being instantly read!
On the other hand, acting like you belong there, and do it every day, makes you invisible.
Also, for you girls who are afraid to go somewhere and buy clothes for yourself - ask yourself if anyone in the store will know who you are. If not, or if it
doesn't matter.....just go do it!! I have had so much fun doing this that once in a while I will go shopping for womens clothing in male mode just for the fun
of it! I love to watch the looks on the faces of the women at the changing room counter when I saunter up there with four or five dresses and ask to try
them on! I have never had a problem. Don't forget what a friend once told me...TG-friendly stores all have a sign advertising that fact in their window. It
says, Visa - Mastercard - Discover! It is perfectly legal to wear womens clothing if you're not a genetic woman! Just do it!
Love,
Brenda
June 12, 2009 1:54 PM BST
I tend to get smiles from women, and even a hello or similar brief greeting. If I do get read, it is typically from a sniffly nose meaning some of my makeup has wiped off... although, if a car full of young idiots simply feels the need to slow down, point, stare, and laugh, I take it as a sign of their immaturity and keep walking. Since this only happens about 1% of the time, I PASS - and my courage and self-confidence keep going up!
June 28, 2009 11:46 PM BST
Before my most recent period of denial, I used to go out dressed at times. The best time was when I was walking down a street in Bristol with a guy I had just met - nothing like that, honest - he was just escorting me back to my car. We passed two other guys going the other way that did not even bat an eyelid despite the fact that they had been looking at us as they approached - I knew I'd passed then and the feeling was fantastic.
Maybe add another one to the list, walk along with a man?
xxxx
July 14, 2008 3:09 PM BST
Excellent advice all of it, and it all comes down to self confidence.
And let's not forget, even when someone is looking at you, it doesn't mean you have been read. They could be looking at an attractive woman remember. It's easy to think the looks we get are all negative, but very often that isn't the case.
Nikki
June 12, 2009 4:05 PM BST
I have been out fully dressed, and in a lesbian bar to boot. AND used the women's restroom. Just go about your businees, act as you always do, and enjoy.
I'll never forget a few years ago when I called Karen Brad when she was in the hospital. I didn't use my female voice while speaking to the nurses. They went up to her and said "Do you know a man named Meredith?" Whoops. But I am not a man.