Getting very comfortable now

    • 181 posts
    August 5, 2010 8:18 PM BST
    Brenda, if you don't mind a friendly suggestion here , take everything Ms Marsh says with confidence !!!!!!! Seriously, one of the most level headed people here was her when I first came on board . She became one of the moderators for my little rag tag forum with good reason .

    Now already , from youre' photograph , you already look fine to me . Just have confidence in you're ability to accomplish the IMPOSSIBLE ! ellen
  • March 26, 2010 2:30 PM GMT
    Well girls, I have been out to most now and at work and now get out quite a bit. I have lost the fear of pepole watching me and now just act like I am supposed to be doing whatever i am doing......If you follow that. I have always tried to dress appropriate to whatever I am doing and, for lack of a better word, blend in....I am sure I get read often, my voice is not very fem, but I have never been treated badly when I am out, and always referred to as ma'm, or Hun, or whatever..... Getting better every day I guess just rying to be a girl. Hugs
  • March 26, 2010 5:39 PM GMT
    From what I see in your pictures, I'm not sure why you had any worries . I think you look great, very feminine and might I say sexy.
  • March 26, 2010 6:12 PM GMT
    Well thank you very much for that comment. I try best to look feminine and act the same. some days are better than others though and really I don't have many troubles out anymore, but still in the back of my mind I must remind myself not to look around to see who is looking at me.......
    thank you
    • 434 posts
    March 27, 2010 3:36 AM GMT
    When you say "I must remind myself not to look around to see who is looking at me....... ", you only need to remember this...GG's (I refer to them as "Ovarians") think that too. So it's not such an unusual thing.

  • April 1, 2010 6:26 AM BST
    You look very feminine and would pass easily. I know that starting going out fully dressed is a nerve racking experience, but your confidence will grow with practice, and going out dressed is the greatest feeling. Like you all I want to do is blend in. I just want to be seen as an ordinary woman going about her business, that's all I've ever wanted really, to be accepted as the woman I am.
    My voice is a problem for me as well. I have made a few attempts to put on a "female" voice but these just ended up sounding ridiculous, so I tend to keep the chat to a minimum.
    Good luck with your future outings. Going out fully dressed and being accepted as a woman is wonderful.
    • 15 posts
    June 30, 2010 3:09 AM BST
    I've been watching a few vids on YouTube. They show crossdressers daring to go out in public fully dressed. There are a few points I'd like to raise with this.

    1) Firstly the thing is to not act suspicious. There's ladies who'll park their car up and walk up and down a street, keep stopping and seeing if anyone is looking. That just gets people's attention. Something you don't want.

    2) Choosing the correct outfit is critical. Don't wear very short skirts unless your legs can carry them off. Don't wear tops that are low cut or expose your manly shoulders. I've seen this on the YouTube.

    3) Remember YOUR age. If you're 45, don't dress like a 19 year old. It looks bad on genetic women. Worst still is mutton dressed as lamb on a crossdresser!

    4) I haven't been out in public yet, but I am leading out to it. I aim to choose a none-summer month, so I can perhaps wear a long raincoat that's say two inches shorter than my skirt hem length. This cuts the shape of a man away. In my view anyway. Again, skirts should be no shorter than knee and preferably calf length.

    5) And finally, develop a feminine walk. Don't walk as if you're on a construction site. Funny yes, but I have seen ladies walking like this on vids. The walk is critical. I am still working on it.

    These are just my views, and by no means should they be set in stone. But I think they make sense.

    And to the OP, you look fine.
    • 1912 posts
    June 30, 2010 4:02 AM BST
    All and all I think you are on the right track Steve.

    Starting with number 1, one way to not act suspicious is to go out with a purpose. Go somewhere like the post office and mail a letter, or the gas station. If you look like you belong, you usually do.

    Number 2. You might want to include in selecting the proper clothing to not wear evening wear during the day.

    Number 3. The age thing is probably the biggest mistake CD's make. A good makeup job can take years off of your look but typically not decades. So dress like the women your age and you will be way ahead.

    Number 4. The colder months do offer more options but what you are describing sounds like you are prepared for a blizzard and nobody is going to see anything other than someone totally bundled up. Many fashions highlight or downplay different body regions and researching those at fashion sites such as can be very helpful. So with a little fashion help you don't need to be restricted to the cooler months.

    And number 5. This is really why I replied in the first place. Guys want to believe a woman's butt sways side to side when they walk. It is actually an optical illusion and if you draw an imaginary line you will see the hip stays lined up. It is actually a rotation versus a sway and can be imitated by twisting the body as to bring the hip around as you carefully walk a straight line one foot in front of the other. There are some youtube videos to help on this.

    Best wishes,

    • 15 posts
    June 30, 2010 7:00 AM BST
    LOL, how is wearing a smart raincoat preparing for a blizard? I think it looks okay. I've seen women dressed like this in the September/ to April months and I think it looks smart, so we disagree there.

    I hate exposed shoulders and chests. So, I would never even attempt venture out the summer months. That said, I am only a crossdresser, so I have that option not to dress as a woman all year round. I accept transsexuals must do it 12 months of the year because they're women. Whereas I am a straight man who has this feminine side I must let out occasionally.

    By the way, when I say raincoat, I don't mean it to be buttoned up right to my neck, I was gonna leave it open. It's just I have worn this indoors and checked in the mirror and it looks really nice. Looks like I am a working woman heading to the office. I always wear smart clothes underneath, a ladies business skirt suits are very nice, blouse, jacket, etc.

    But I agree with the age bit.
    • 1912 posts
    June 30, 2010 12:29 PM BST
    The point I was really trying to make is don't limit yourself to only certain times of the year. Checkout the fashion websites and learn about clothing that downplays areas such as the wide shoulders. Women come in all sizes and shapes.

    • 871 posts
    June 30, 2010 1:11 PM BST
    Hiya, Interesting thread and lots of good advice

    For me, it doesnt matter how much or how little I attempt "to pass" I have found there are always going to be people who understand the nature of person I am. So try not to get too disappointed if you spend hours making yourself look nice and everyone clocks you all day long.

    The thing that matters to me is if they are going to respect me as a human being. Most people do and are very polite and sometimes it gets embarrassing, especially when a woman came up to me and shook my hand and said she respects me for what I was doing. To the other end of the scale where I have been called a freak, pervert and other names. Its part of life sadly and it is something we need to accept if we are to live as our true selves.

    There is an element which I call the "credibility factor" to which I think transgender people are more critical about than the general public. For example, a transgendered individual wearing stockings, 6" heals, mini, basketballs for boobs and a Marilyn Munroe wig in a supermarket would not have much "credibility" from the general public and even less from other transgendered people. However, for me, I would enjoy giving this individual my respect and their freedom to enjoy their experience shopping at the supermarket without my criticism.

    I have developed my identity, sense of self and I am very comfortable. I usually wear all black. Long frilly sleeved blouses, studded leather jacket and gothic makeup. I never blend into the crowd (unless im with a horde of my friends.) People either respect me as a human being or they dont.

  • June 30, 2010 3:26 PM BST
    "I have developed my identity, sense of self and I am very comfortable. I usually wear all black. Long frilly sleeved blouses, studded leather jacket and gothic makeup."

    And I being very observant noticed this was your six hundred and sixty sixth post!

    • 136 posts
    July 1, 2010 4:21 AM BST


    I love it!

    May I use that?

    • 871 posts
    July 1, 2010 11:13 AM BST
    Janis, Thanks for pointing that out, I thought it was "dead" cool! Shame the post number doesnt stay with the post!
    • 434 posts
    July 1, 2010 8:30 PM BST
    Any time you want to!

    And the interesting thing is....gender wise, it leaves "little doubt"

    "and my needs entwined, like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway, some where... in the night"
    • 1912 posts
    July 1, 2010 8:38 PM BST
    Penny, you brought up the "credibility factor" and I love that. I think that is so overlooked. Society has certain expectations for various things. Some may require a more professional appearance and for others the professional appearance is way out of place as casual wear might be the norm. So when someone doesn't fit the norm it is easy to see how some would question "what are they doing here or how can they perform the expected task dressed that way?" They may not even be questioning the persons right to dress that way, only that they are not dressed appropriately for that time and place.

    Now notice I did not even have to include TG in the above comment, it applies to everyone. Here is an extreme example. You get a flat tire but are able to make it into the service station where you hope to have it repaired. The only service person there walks out in a white tuxedo. What are you thinking? Do you honestly believe a person dressed this way would want to handle your dirty tire? He may be capable of doing the work, but do you really think he wants to get dirty and will he do a good job? That is credibility.