ok to all my fellow girls......

Please help me get out of the house........

I would like everone to post there best tips and tricks on that frist step out the door and how to pass so as to feel you blend right in and can go any ware and not feel like your being watched


Hugs XXXXX
Ashley

Ashley,

The first look is with the mind and the first step is with the heart. The second step is with Ashley.

From now on, every step you take has one of us girls here...holding your hand.

Doanna





"and my needs entwined like ribbons of light...and I came through the doorway...some where, in the night"

Try and not dress too outrageously, unless you're going to a club or party.
Get a friend to give an honest opinion on how you look.
Go out at first in the company of other girls if possible.
Going out fully dressed first time is a nerve racking but incredibly rewarding experience,
even something as mundane as posting a letter or buying a newspaper is a little triumph.
Being accepted by strangers as a woman is wonderful.
I wish you luck.

Don't forget your house key so you can get back in when you come home. Could get embarrassing, lol.
Hugs,
Marsha

Ashley,

Lots of good advice in this thread.

My favorites are echoed in all of the tips offered above.

You're not alone, you're not the first girl to step out that door, and you won't be the last.

Observe what the other girls are wearing, do your reconnaissance homework in advance. Whether it's a dress-up or dress-down place, dress accordingly.

You're 27, so dress appropriately for your age, but don't over-dress! Avoid calling attention to yourself!. GG's do not wear their LBD (Little Black Dress) and heels to the grocery store!

One of my mentors, may she rest in peace, made the astute observation that Nikki suggested; avoid going out with other TG's, go with a GG friend instead, at least until you get more comfortable and have polished your presentation. Nothing is more obvious than a group of CD's, unless they are particularly petite, naturally gorgeous and have smokin'-hot bodies! (I've never met these girls by the way.)

Attitude! Radiate confidence, head up, shoulders back, smile. Think... "I have as much right to be here as anyone else!" I find it helpful to I imagine a string attached to the top of my head, which is held by a very good humored puppet master, showing me off as if I were his girlfriend.

Until it becomes second nature, think about how you walk. Is it long, lumbering strides? WRONG! But don't walk like a runway model, that's just freaky-weird, no one actually walks like that! If necessary, shorten your stride and try to glide, walk without getting too much body movement. A little hip action, but don't overdo it; a little can go a long way.

I hope I helped.
Good luck,
Nicole

In my previous post when I said "Try and go out in the company of other girls if possible" I meant with a GGfriend or better still a group of GGfriends. My first outings fully dressed were in the company of my older sister June and my friend Fiona. It was so nice to have their support and our "girls days out" were a great confidence booster and great practice for my first "solo flight", which wasn't really solo, it was June and Fiona following me around the place but that didn't make me feel any less nervous.
I'm quite confident in my appearance and I go out fully dressed quite regularily. The only real problem I have is my voice, the sound of it raises quite a few eyebrows.

keep them comming girls ... i like what im hearing and taking notes so fast the pincel is smoking.... !!!! lolall tips are great and lots of great info....

to janis your picts are wonderfull and you make me dream of the days i can be like that..... so im still reaching for the stars and all you girls are so wonderfull and so nice thinks so much for helping


but keep the info comming...

hugs ashley

Well I would love to ad my $2.00 worth, but been covered. Confidence is the key, I spent far too many hours in the malls watching other women "My Age" and how they act, dress.. all the normal stuff. My hardest part was trying NOT to look to see who is looking at me. Now i have the confidence I need and a few GG women for support from time to time as I work with them.
I also have a male friend who is tall that takes me out often. We often do dinners or car rides etc. Always nice to have him around for support.
Dress to blend in, nothing more.......start with small confidence outings, perhaps a wlak around the block or a quick car drive.
Anyway we are all with you Ashley!!
From Canada with love.....

Brenda

Hiya, Lots of good advice from everyone. My experience is that people pick up on body language very quickly and if something isn’t right they will examine closer. So, as previously said, confidence, or more descriptive, the pretence of confidence lol, goes a long way.

When I took my first steps I realised that the way ahead was not going to be easy and there would be many difficulties and hardships but the main things I kept close to my heart were that I have the freedom to wear what I like and I have the freedom to be me. It doesn’t matter what anyone says they cant change who I am.

A year and a half later I have really found my freedom in how I express myself. If anyone makes a point of my appearance I simply look at them and instantly raise my hand to block my sight and scream out "fuk you're ugly!" and walk off leaving them slightly stunned lol.

I have also found, in being a gothic punk biker chic, that making a point of dressing for attention has also helped me go about my business without any untoward attention. When I wear my gothic cuffy blouse, studded leather jacket, rock boots and my hair in the biggest style I can create (I hope to be able to create a bouffant one day) with loads of black eye liner with huge gothic brows and lots of other fascinations, I receive less attention than compared to when I wear just jeans and t-shirt as most women usually do. I believe that because I am 6'2, there are plenty of women who are 6'2 but, I have felt that when I have dressed to blend in as a regular woman then my differences have stuck out like a sore thumb. For the most part I think its about finding out what suits and what works and there’s only one way to find that out!

Just another outlook on lifeI hope you enjoyed my little contribution.

Best of luck with your adventures.
Penny
x

Hi Ashley.
I just want to wish you all the best as i can,t help much as i just said "bugger this" and got on a train to ipswich and went shopping and i hav,nt looked back.
Hugs Julia xx

Hi Anna- Marie.
I know that i was born there, i have discovered Norwich too and it is great, and yarmouth on a nice summers day is nice as long as you look around before parting with cash as some places charge twice as much for the same thing , i mean 4 quid for a plastic bucket n spade is a bloody rip off .
Julia xxxxxx

Mmmmmmm.
Wish I could afford to shop in Sainsburys.
I went to Tescos and had a pie and a deep fried Mars bar all washed down with a bottle of Irn-Bru.
Yum yum yummykins!

Julia

I left Yarmouth when aged 22 but visit it regularly and agree it has gone to the dogs over the years. I make no comment over Lowestoft
as I am not too familiar with it but I have visited Anna Marie there. Many of the surrounding villages have changed little since my childhood
I too agree Norwich is a good shopping area. My voice gets back a Norfolk twang after a few days. However I was told in a pub we don't speak like that anymore. BBC ?

Narge is aw-righ' fa shar-pin
jus go'a go up da rud and row-nd da cawn-na

Hi Joanne.
I went to lowestoft twice and both times it was closed , the second time i went i spent 2 hours sitting in traffic without moving i begun to wonder if it was a car park , anyway the only way i could move was to go down a one way street and as i was only going one way (home) i guessed it was legal .
I am sure Lowestoft is a lovely place if it was possible to get into .
Julia xx.

I totally agree with Janis, first time can make you a nervous wreck, but make you feel incredible at the same time. Definitely take baby steps. I would go to the post office, or sit at the park for a bit, but I never can say that I felt totally comfortable until I had someone with me. It gave me a chance to build my confidence. I love going out, but definitely take it slow, and find a friend, and have a great time.
Hugs, Briana

It is confidence and not over dressing. I don't pass under close inspection but the trick is to avoid close inspection and just get on with it.

I work hard on not looking to see if people are looking at me. Most of the time people are too busy with their own lives to be looking that closely at others. And too polite to do more than glance out the corner of their eye. The only women who ever made a rude/annoying comment/fuss where spotty, unwashed chavs in grey sweat pants with about ten kids in tow (really) and I looked soooo much better than them.

If you act nervous or do things that draw attention to yourself then you will be read much more easily than if you keep calm and carry on!

A few tips from my couple of GG friends:

1. Iron your clothes and aim to be well presented. If you look a bit messy or have creased clothes, people will notice that and look a bit closer. If you look at the majority of GGs they will not wear a creased skirt or dress that has been scrunched up in a drawer somewhere.

2. Dress your age - as previously mentioned!

3. Try to blend in - I wear smart clothes but not power suits or very bright stuff. Colourful yes but not luminous pink! I have worked hard at simple make up with the right tones for my skin and hair colour. Ask in somewhere like bodyshop when it is quiet - they are normally really helpful.

4. Don't panic - I have been read more often when I say turn round to avoid a group or look like I am diving into a door way to get out the way. This is the hardest one but if you try and navigate crowds like you do in male mode i.e. that's the place I am going so I head in that direction regardless of who is approaching - you should blend in better

I'm no expert and have only been venturing beyond the 30 yard dash to the beauty salon for about a year but hopefully some of it helps.

There is a lot of useful information and other girl's stories in the 'Passing in public' forum Ashley. I suggest you have a good read through that first of all.

Otherwise, it's a matter of getting your look right with make up, and dressing appropriately for where you are going. Watch other GG's as that's who we are aiming to become. Watch their body language, which if you get wrong will blow your 'cover' easier than anything. It goes without saying that you need to make sure your voice is okay as well. It doesn't have to be pitch perfect, but aim for something neutral sounding to begin with, and practice using it, a lot.

It really isn't that hard provided you were born with a little luck, i.e. you aren't 6 foot 6 and 210lbs. Women come in all shapes and sizes and so do we. What works for one of us, will not necessarily work for another. Be honest with yourself, because if you get it wrong, it will show and you will be self concious which is another quick giveaway as a nervous girl stands out a mile away.

Ideally, if you have a GG friend who is prepared to help you out, she will be worth her weight in gold as she knows what it takes and will be honest with you, especially if she is going to go out with you when the time comes.

I personally don't advocate going out with others as I think it can draw more attention, (unless you are going to a club etc) but to be honest, I have always tended to do things differently than many here.

The bottom line is, be comfortable with yourself before you go out for the first time and don't overdo it, go somewhere and do something that you feel is within your limits, you can always push the envelope at a later date.

Now get out there girl!

Nikki

Julia, looks like you went the wrong way cos Ipswich is a right DUMP.......for shopping, Norwich is MILES better!


lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

well I went to Sainsburys, to get some Tuna steaks and had a coffee and danish in the cafeteria, very sophisticated couple of hours out, lol. Crop top, denim pedal pushers and trainers and hair in a scrunchy

Mentioning a certain town ( Great Yarmouth) is like swearing in Lowestoft.......only thnig good about the place is the A12 outta there


Lol xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Anna-Marie

I know this is an old post but just thought I'd add my own thoughts on this. 1. Dress normal - pretty but not too tarty unless you want the attention. 2. Plan your route beforehand. Choose roads without corners where you can be surprised by groups of other people. 3. Avoid parks and other open spaces. Although you might think there is less chance of bumping into someone these are often favourite hang-outs for groups of youths, etc. 4. If you're really nervous choose a rainy night so that you can carry an umbrella and hide behind it if needs be. 5. Plan what you're going to do and stick to the plan. Look like you're a girl with a purpose and don't get distracted. 6. Enjoy and have fun!

This post was edited by Emma Davies at August 5, 2012 10:39 AM BST