June 16, 2010 2:35 PM BST
All boils down to who's asking and why. I do not even say on my profile, pre or post, Surely its not indicative to a persons worth, either way, morally of socially. to be accepted. I do note however, There is an element of people in here and in life in general ask if they suspect one is a transexual, ask out of a sexual interest, ie. some admirers even the odd CD, ask are you post op, when you reply post op, (we have discussed this in other threads) the reply I usually get is ''Oh what a shame and you look so hot'' Then they lose interest, erm why? lol. In the case of some, ignorance does'nt seem to have any boundaries.
One guy who we met for a drink, was realy interested and asked if SRS was done via donor transplant.
Erm, After making an arse of myself and spluttering my drink all over the table, nearly choking over the concept of being the recipiant of a second hand vagina and its connotations and implications. I explained the procedure in graphic detail, leaving him somwhat looking a bit green and underwhelmed.
The thought of being palmed of with a well used vagina conjured up all sorts of visions and ludicrous scenarios. As in what if vaginas could talk, lol. Like ''You want sex, its £50 and I dont do kissing'' or ''Oh damn not you again, you were a dissapointment the first time round''
somone raised the point of asking a guy if he was circumcised or not, a great analogy, not somthing you realy ask unless you want to get to know somone in the biblical sense, what does it matter. its how you present, behave, Honesty counts for a lot though if you intend to enter into a physical relationship. Otherwise its nobody's business. Self contentment and hapiness being who you are should be the first self consideration.
June 16, 2010 3:08 PM BST
Sue & Nikki
Not stictly true. Seperate arrangements have to be made, to cater for pre-ops. where open changing rooms, dormetories etc, are involved. So certain people do have the right to know, but the knowledge is subject to certain confidences and criteria. Same questions would have to be approached when in police custody and prisons.
Cristine.
June 16, 2010 6:19 PM BST
Obviously there are exceptions on a 'need to know' basis, but I was generalising about the question being asked in the workplace, hence the italicising of 'in theory'.
June 19, 2010 12:28 AM BST
That's good. Allways insult people that don't think th same as you do.
June 19, 2010 10:50 AM BST
Marsha
I didn't say you were wrong. Actually I can see both sides can be right. It depends on the person. But being on the other side of the coin doesn't make people prudes looking for evil intent.
June 19, 2010 3:56 PM BST
There's the lady I like talking to. I know what you ment but it was phrased a little umm you know.
That was not a question where one answer fits all. Only math has one answer & I'm not very good at it.
June 23, 2010 6:50 AM BST
If GLBT events and places like GenderSociety.com are not the place to find the answers to the questions of sexuality and gender that plague us.....where is that place?
Yes, sometimes the questions are clueless and prurient but sometimes they are a desperate grasp for finding one's self. Are others like me? Are there Other boxes to find a place for myself in? (We love our boxes). Even among hospital workers I find caring but ignorance and no real ability to answer questions on GLB, and particularly T, issues. Let's keep our doors and minds open and accept that there is also a spectrum of knowledge on our issues. Not everyone sees things the same way.
I have a rule of thumb. If I find myself, or another, using argumentum ad hominum abusive, in a discussion, I presume that I am losing the argument or, at least, I am using my emotions rather than my brain. (It's OK, but it's more part of our male heritage than who we want to be.) That alone should give us all pause.
That said, we have all lived emotionally disruptive lives and have a lot of internal conflict to deal with or to have dealt with. Give your Sisters a chance when they speak their feelings before stopping to think it out. It's OK to change your mind later. Hostility reduces communication. Tolerance increases it.
June 25, 2010 6:21 AM BST
Porscia,
People tend ot get flustered when they do not know how to interact in a social situation. For a guy, interest vs homophobia is a major stressor. When people get stressed they are not at their best to deal with a situation. People seek familiarity and we are not familiar. This is one reason that we get some of the reactions we experience. In time, I suspect that society will learn to cope with us as they did with other groups.
Marsha,
Ummm. Too many hours at the keyboard to write a coherent thought?
I guess what I was trying to say is guys tend to get hostile and aggressive at times that women are supportive and tolerant. Women are better at dealing with social stress and disagreement. In fact studies show they are more likely to change their opinion than men to maintain agreement. Not a bad skill to have when you have to carry and raise a child and keep it safe. Men needed to kill Mastadons and required a more aggressive posture to survive and keep mates and offspring fed. Perhaps if there were more Mastadons wandering the streets, and requiring killing, men would be better adjusted emotionally.
Does that help?
