When I first started going out, I was certain that everyone would read me and cause problems, so my first steps out were rather cautious, typically going where I was unlikely to be observed closely.
However, I quickly noticed that most people are so wrapped up in whatever they are doing that they don't notice much anyway.
The secret to passing is not to look out of place. For example, if you go out to a typical shopping area during the day, what you wear will be important. If you are wearing a lot of makeup and very fancy clothes, you will be noticed even if you are a genetic woman; but if you are dressed casually and your makeup isn't overwhelming, you will blend right in. In that situation, you should try to minimize makeup. Just do whatever is necessary to cover up the most glaring male features, such as facial hair. A coat of foundation and/or beard shadow cover, a subdued shade of lipstick, and a little blush is all you need. If you wish, a little eye makeup (not too much) works. I don't wear eye makeup except on special occasions because it irritates my eyes. Also in that situation, it is best to dress casually. Of course, most women these days seem to dress much like men so it may not be that exciting, but you can find garments which are feminine but still casual. There seems to be an endless variety of tee shirts, many of which have nice feminine touches, such as lace trim or floral prints. Casual skirts are also a good choice - there are many styles available. A type of casual dress that I love is the tee dress or polo dress - basically an elongated shirt. They are very comfortable to wear, especially when it is hot outside, and they are unmistakably feminine.
Another area that affects passability is the wig. I struggled with this a little; it took some trial and error. I am letting my natural hair grow to where I can style it, but it is not ready yet, so I still need a wig for now. What I finally learned is that it is best to choose a wig that is well-matched to your body. A color close to the natural color of your hair is best; it will not clash with your skin or your eyes. Also, a simpler hair style will help you blend in better and will be easier to maintain.
If you have a strong desire to wear all your fancy clothes and a lot of makeup, as most of us do from time to time, if you pick the proper time and place, you will be fine. If you like dressy but somewhat conservative clothing, a downtown business district on a weekday is a great place to go. There will be plenty of office girls in smart suits, so you will blend in. And if you live in an area where a lot of people go to church on Sunday, you can dress up on that day and you will not look out of place. For the fanciest, sexiest clothing, bars or fine restaurants on Friday or Saturday night are the best venues. But be careful in bars - they can be dangerous.
As Jayne wrote, watch the women and see what they wear and how they behave and try to emulate them. Women watch each other in that way; they are always conscious of how the other women look, so you should be too.
A more difficult problem is the voice. That takes a lot of practice and often some professional help. That is my greatest passability problem at this point. However, if everything else looks right and you make even a minor effort with your voice, you will probably pass. People judge the whole, and if only one thing is a little out of place, they are unlikely to figure out what is going on.
A NOTE OF CAUTION: Be careful. Some people hate us enough to physically attack us. You don't want to run into such a person in a dark alley, so keep out of dark alleys. Also, in bars and clubs, stay aware (keep alcohol consumption to a minimum) and be prepared for a quick escape if things get ugly. Stay especially aware if you are brave enough to venture into a straight bar which is not accustomed to trannies, and do not flirt with anybody. Open, public places are the best. Villains are less likely to strike where they may be observed - they are cowards by nature.
I have been going out dressed frequently for a year now, and I now always go out dressed except when I go to work, and I have not had any problems. All of these techniques have worked well for me so far, and as time goes on I am sure I will learn more. It takes a lot of practice.
Good luck.
Heather H.
P.S. I just noticed that I wrote a gigantic treatise here, although I meant to write only a paragraph or two. I hope people don't get bored to tears reading it. Maybe I should put it on my website.
May 27, 2003 10:13 PM BST
Hi!
Before I ventured 'out' for the first time I spent a morning sitting at a bar in the local town square just watching women of all ages walking past. I was especially looking at the type and amount of make-up they wore and how they walked and generally 'carried' themselves.
Then, back home, I practiced not only the make-up, but the walk and 'carriage' too until I was reasonably certain I didn't look like a 'bloke walking past in a dress'.
It seemed to work too as when I did venture out, I noticed I hardly got a second glance from other men and women. Now though the hard bit is to remember how to do it again!!!
Go for it!!!!
Jayne
A TV's TV
Thinking about this gave me ideas. I took this post and modified and expanded it, and added it to my website.
Everyone's experience is different. What worked for me may not necessarily work for others, but hopefully my experiences can be helpful.
Heather H.
Here is a link to the article:
http://gendersociety.com/membersites/personal/heatherh/passing.html
