Transitioning at work - phases

  • March 29, 2004 1:06 PM BST
    Maybe somebody is interested.

    I listed my transitioning phases at job as following:

    1) Hippie or androgyne with a male name

    2) Coming outs at work

    3) Feminine androgyne, slight make up, bra, still with male name

    4) Openly feminine, with a female name

    The most difficult phase was 3, because you feel you must somehow explain your looks to strangers. Of course not to your working mates who know already. In phase 4 no need to explain anything any more, even though people may still give longer looks or have thoughts about your voice.

    Laura

    • 539 posts
    March 30, 2004 3:29 AM BST
    Here are my phases of transitioning at work; I did things a little differently, but in a similar fashion.

    1. First, I carefully considered whether I wanted to do this and I did not start making serious changes until I had made up my mind.

    2. Stopped getting my hair cut. I have a reputation for being weird, so this didn't raise any suspicion. This was about a year-and-a-half before I transitioned.

    3. Started living full-time as a woman outside of work. At this time, I told a very small number of close friends at work. This was approximately one year before I transitioned.

    4. Got my ears pierced and started taking hormones. The ear-piercing was easily explained away because I am known for being weird. This was about six months before I transitioned.

    5. Approached Human Resources and began informing management, and finally came out to everyone. This process went quickly - about a month. Up to this point, my style of clothing at work didn't change, except that at the end, I only wore loose shirts because my breasts were getting too big to hide.

    6. Finally, I appeared for the first time as a woman. My style of clothing, of course, changed drastically at this point. Everyone took it very well, possibly because I am weird anyway, so it seemed to fit my personality.

    I guess I followed about the same order of events, except that I didn't go through as much of an androgynous phase. The same basic method works, but slight adjustments are always appropriate. The last six to nine months were the most difficult because going to work as an ugly man was getting too hard to bear. Steps 5 and 6 were actually a great relief.

    Heather H.
  • March 30, 2004 5:18 AM BST
    I guess my change to "full time" at work was after all not that drastic. Already a few weeks before my name change I could be sometimes at work in skirt if I knew there will be no meetings with outsiders. Our own staff took me anyway already as Laura.
    And my other stages were also somewhat different from HeatherĀ“s. I started full time outside the work about half a year earlier and to be able to do that I had a 8 months long hrt before that. I started my outcomings at work in October and they were finished until early December. You asked how my collegues reacted, Sandra. I got congratulations and hugs from women and men admired my guts and braveness to do what I think is right.
    Absolutely no bad talks. I guess I have been very lucky.

    Laura
  • March 30, 2004 6:58 AM BST
    Well yes Sandra

    Some collegues said they must adjust to the idea of a female me. But they have adjusted well.

    Laura