Getting looks in Guy mode and not female

  • April 7, 2012 1:13 PM BST

    Please i am new here so be kind, i dont consider myself pretty when I am Samantha, just a middle aged woman , i am kinda lucky being very slim 9 stone with no muscle now due to hormones and i have hips and no body hair , also when i am out i wear flat shoes , jeans and t shirt , nothing flash and little makeup, i have found that i get ignored when out as Samantha iam full time TS , only comment so far in a busy shopping mal is she wearing a wig by some young guys well it might not have evenme me, so i am kinda content but when I go out now in Guy mode when having IPL laser due to having to leave 3 days of stubble on and a red rash afterwards i get stared at all the time , i do think i look funny now with the effects of the hormones on my face and in guy mode people spot it , i actually hate going out as a guy now and avoid it if possible , just wondered if anyone else has had this happen


    • 95 posts
    April 8, 2012 4:13 AM BST

    Hi Samantha. Nice to meet you. I think you look great by the way. As far as "stares" in boy mode goes,yes I get some. Being a member of the 6ft crowd, I tend to stand out anyways in both girl and mode. Looks also are not always bad things. Sometimes people just like to observe others with no harm intended. Don't let them bother you or presume too much from them. If anyone has the nerve to confront you which you say hasn't happened yet, just say mind your own business and move on. You have every right to look anyway you choose.  Good luck with the ipl. I did laser myself. It does help! xxx Jessica

    • 41 posts
    April 8, 2012 7:01 PM BST
    Hi,Samantha.Welcome.You look fine to me,too. Yes I'm over 6ft as well.and get looks often.Every so often ,another tall girl will ask where I find jeans and slacks that fit...Interesting conversations to say the least.
  • April 8, 2012 7:05 PM BST
    i went out in my local city clubbing last nite to the early hours and didnt get clocked once well unless they are polite but as most were drunk i guess not or could that have heliped lol
    I do get stared at in guy mode and hate it
    • 41 posts
    April 8, 2012 7:17 PM BST
    Flats or running shoes for day wear,but for clubbing...tall heels are what I wear.I do notice more women at 6 ft height now than I did years ago.
    And to be honest ,I no longer worry about being clocked ( maybe the "I could care less" attitude helps.)
  • April 8, 2012 7:22 PM BST
    i find the more iam proud and upright the more i pass, i dotn consider my self very good looking
    • 41 posts
    April 8, 2012 7:29 PM BST
    We come in all shapes and sizes.The beauty is there. Most of us are far more critical of ourselves than others are of us.
    • 434 posts
    April 9, 2012 5:03 AM BST
    That "special look of confidence" goes a long way in this world. I sometimes think that worrying about being "clocked"... precipitates being "clocked"
    • 146 posts
    April 9, 2012 10:27 PM BST
    Hi Samantha, You are well on your way it seems ,no reason to look back . Regarding going out in Guy mode for IPL. --I decided to go en femme right from the start, I did not do this with any reasoning or intent , just did it . and it seems to have worked out[ any way many women do this , and are just discreet]. I am sure the beautician suspects I could be trans [ but far too professional] to say . . Your Pic says thats a Woman to me , ..No point doing Boy Guy mode[ to be honest].:-) re IPL .. try electrolysis better long term results judging by posts. and my own limited experience
  • April 10, 2012 1:20 PM BST
    Thanks Donna i do sometimes self doubt , yes hate going in guy mode i think i will go as i am next time , only my beautician insists i domt shave for 3 days as she cannot see any stubble otherwise and i do have to walk through a busy city to the appointment
  • April 12, 2012 8:43 AM BST
    I have to wait at least two days for the elecrogirl to do a good job and its really annoying to need to put thick makeup on for the trip there and back.

    • 746 posts
    April 12, 2012 1:59 PM BST
    Samantha...I am getting electrolysis done and walk the planet in drab mode 5 days a week now! I hate it, but also accept that it is part of the "process" of transitioning. I have given myself a 5 yr. plan of going FT and am a little shy of half way there. I have allowed myself to shift to an androgynous mode in "drab" and this is allowing those around me to transition with me...there will be very little or even no shock when I finally come out FT. Plus, everything will be completed by then, including hair removal and possible not fret what you look like, you are what you are, and it is this essence that will define you, not your outside appearance...make it real difficult for others to dislike you by becoming a giving, caring, loving person always and do keep that head held high! I think you are beautiful!
  • April 12, 2012 3:26 PM BST
    Thanks Traci, you look good also , i have to be Samantha most of the time , well 99% lol, i hate being a guy
    • 746 posts
    April 12, 2012 5:40 PM BST
    I have to be me too, but am not willing to walk the planet with 3-4 days of growth as Traci....too shocking for those around me and why set yourself up for total rejection and enforce the TS "stereotype" least that's my plan and thus far it's working very well! But everyone is different and I respect that...for me, slow and easy spead over a few years just makes tons more sense. And those that I know who have done it in this manner have transitioned quite successfully. I know many who have lost everything because of rushing things and dropping "the news" on those around them...
    Best wishes always!
    Traci xoxo
    • 146 posts
    April 12, 2012 8:55 PM BST
    Just to say. I very much like Traci's comments regarding the "slow but definite Transistion" keeping in mind that your transistion is guided as a move to being a better person
  • April 13, 2012 8:42 AM BST
    transition time scale depends how much you need to do i was born intersexed girls !
    • 146 posts
    April 16, 2012 3:46 PM BST
    thats not to say , we dont share those times when the prospect of a slow change gets confronted by a screaming you wanting just to be a woman...I am having one of those days .Luckily I am not at work today .