I have read many stories where a regular guy had a ts-girlfriend living in stealth. And when the truth came out, over was the romance. I don´t know if there are many success stories out there, but I think it is possible to have a relationship with a regular hetero man. Yet he must be somehow special, he must be ready to face the possible critics from his friends and relatives because of dating a ts. What do you think? Is that really possible or just a daydream?

Laura

Hi Laura yes i think it is possible for a hetro male to have a TS-girlfriend, it has to be a special man but it happen's. As you know i have a girlfriend her friends have all but disowned her, because of her being with a TS.It hurts me alot because she wants to be with me and her friends don't like what they see.
I think no i know it hurts her too,i find it hard in a way and wish i wasn't causing her this sort of greif. She knows alot of t-girls now through me and Nena, but i think she needs to be with her own friends aswell. That is where it become's difficult in a relationship like this. I have cried over it several time's and i am still confused on what is best to do.
So laura that is why it takes someone special and brave to have a TS as a partner but it isn't impossible.......love JJ xx

My best female friend´s fiance has fully accepted me. He calls me "the brave Laura". At their engagement party there was only one guest...me . So...that gives me a certain hope, there are special men out there.

Laura

Yes Sandra...

It might go fine...until something comes out. Not necessarily, but always possible. But you are right, your past concerns ONLY your partner, not his entire family and group of relatives or friends.
Actually the fact that I have two children, looking much like me, is only good, also in this respect. I am taken as a "normal" woman with children.

Laura

Daniel,
Its not all happy family's being the a TS partner of a boy or a girl. I have my ups and downs with my girlfriends little boy and it doe's get to me at time's. I stay at home as i can't work (health reasons)i cook,clean,do the washing everything i dreamnt of when i was younger.
It has its draw backs i can tell you,what have i got to talk about not alot but the girlfriend has as she works.Yep i go out once a month eith the girls to london and party. Then you start to feel you want more from what you are doing and the arguments start and the nastiness starts. This leads to both peoples worlds exploding and the end of a relationship.
So you see you can look convincing and live the life you choose but it ain't always rose covered gardens hun.......love JJ xx

Hi Daniel,
yep my GF does know i'm TS, she herself is an admirer so she knows the score. Mental health issue's are my problem too Daniel, don't think you can't do things because of it i use it to my advantage. I let my health problem work for me not against me.
The GF knows of this too and has been a pillar of strength for me, i just need space for a while and how do you tell someone you need that without hurting them. It is very hard to convince them of it, on the subject of parents you might want to be away from them but don't ever loose them. You will need them one day so hold them dear for when they are gone you will miss them.
So take your time and enjoy what you have for now Daniel......love JJ xx

Hehe

In a web community where I have some pics of me, one guy tried really hard to get me. Then I told him about my background...carefully, told him I´m not yet quite ready and for which reasons I´m not ready. Two days silence, I thought I got rid of that guy, then he writes as if nothing had happened, still wanting to get me as his girl friend. What can I do?

Laura

Yes Wendy

I admire those couples where the wife stays beside her transitioning husband. I know a few of them. I my case my ex loved the false picture of me...not the real me. She loved the facade, the good life with a respected male architect.

Laura

hilaura,yes i really do think it's possible.But he's got to be special,having to cope with all the flak from family and friends cos he dates a TS.But if he really loves her then why care what people say,as long as they're happy thats all that matters.So no laura it's not a daydream at all,it'll happen if it's meant to love maria xx

It is possible to have a hetero man, or woman, as a boyfriend/girlfriend or even husband/wife. It happens. Certainly we know of many t girls who's wives stay with them. They only have to really love you more than anyone else in their life. They have to love the true you that is inside you. When you really love someone you will deal with anything to make it work. If they won't, well, they probably weren't worth having, as painful as that is. We do have to recognize that there are biological and environmental programming that confuse the issue for such partners. If we are not understanding of them we cannot expect them to do any better. We are, through no fault of our own, the ones who are "out of step". I'd like to say, "our bad luck", but I can't see it as bad. I guess that leaves it up to me to put out that extra effort to help someone I care for deal with what they have to to be with me. Or I have to accept being alone. Having been unable to make a relationship work permanently as a hetero male, I certainly don't expect a relationship to fall into my lap intact as a t girl. It's like that poll on what would you choose to change about yourself. Almost all of the choices were things we CAN affect to some degree. Time to decide whether to stare at the lemons or make lemonade.

Among many Native American tribes we were seen as special, spiritual and exceptional people who were welcomed and valued, even honored and allowed to live as we chose. It isn't us, it is the culture we live in. Think about our sister in Syria and how hard she has it. Not so bad in Los Angeles or London.

Nothing is guaranteed in life. If you want that special person you have to work hard, be understanding and supportive and make yourself someone worth all the hurt they will take to be with you.