Forum » Gender Society Public Forums » Significant Others Info » DH is going through gender confusion

DH is going through gender confusion

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  • We have taken a perfectly reasonable idea (people caring about and helping one another) and taken it to hell in a handcart. Does the Golden Rule not apply here? Are we not alienated already?  There is more than enough room for all of us and our opinions in this place. The whole idea behind GS is to help people like us who may not have the information they need and that we may possess. To help them learn from our experiences. This site reflects the philosphy that "in here" we should treat each other fairly and respectfully  because we are much more alike than we are different. A famous quote said " I may not agree with what you have to say but I will defend to the death your right to say it".

    This thread is now closed.

      October 30, 2014 9:37 PM GMT
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  • Jacqueline Vivaldi said:

    Hi Julia- Mine was just friendly banter, although you may be a genius. Seriously, I could from the beginning see the situation represted as a strange one. However, I have seen the same before. In this case I am willing to believe the proposed story, until I see evidence to the contrary. Sorry, I could not see the hard evidence.

    Hugs.

    Jacqueline

     

    I have deleted derogatory comments and other associated rhetoric.    EVERYONE is entitled to offer advice and have an opinion, but when posts reflect badly on this site and its fundemental aims to help and assist people in need and brings it into disrepute,   They will be deleted.   The integrity of GS WILL be maintained above everything.

     

    regardless of individuals personal intuition/suspicions.

     

    This thread is now closed.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye** Beware the toes you tread on today, they might be attached to the arse your forced to kiss tomorow. Contenplating involvement with a man? Make sure you can cook realy well or face having sex on a regular basis. Men are like paving slabs, lay them properly, they will stay put and you can walk over them for ever.
    This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at October 30, 2014 11:37 PM GMT
      October 30, 2014 9:12 PM GMT
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  • Is it not time, ladies, to put aside our own personal prejudices about what might or might not be factual about Miranda's situation.  All that is happening now is that Miranda seems to have lost all faith in this site as being a helpful and empathetic place to be.  Julia, who is known to be forthright, seems to think that some how, this forum is being slighted and demeaned.

     

    For me, both of you would benefit from a few deep breaths and a moment of self contemplation..  Yes, both of you. Julia, you know I care for you, but in truth, I am too stupid to see where you are coming from.   Miranda, I tried to help you too.  You came here in good faith and asked for help, which, I think, you received. 

     

    Please, for the sake of all of us who do care, can we drop the personal attacks?  Who benefits?  Not the staff of GS nor the members.  Not Miranda, Not Julia. We all have the right to be wrong.  Can we settle for that - please

     

      October 30, 2014 7:58 PM GMT
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  • Miranda Thomas said:

    I can't see any of the comments anymore....

      October 27, 2014 4:32 PM GMT
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  • Cristine, Shye (GS Admin) said:

    What the Hell happened here

      October 27, 2014 4:31 PM GMT
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  • Julia Ford said:

    Never seen this happen before.........

      October 27, 2014 4:30 PM GMT
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  • Hi Julia- Mine was just friendly banter, although you may be a genius. Seriously, I could from the beginning see the situation represted as a strange one. However, I have seen the same before. In this case I am willing to believe the proposed story, until I see evidence to the contrary. Sorry, I could not see the hard evidence.

    Hugs.

    Jacqueline

      October 27, 2014 3:52 PM GMT
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  • OK Genius. What did you figure out and How?

      October 27, 2014 1:27 AM GMT
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  • Right now and since I found out, he's been at a friends so I can pack. Today I'm moving all my stuff to my moms and then we will be there. I'll have to look that M E Thomas up. Although I don't think its him because those aren't his first two initials nor his female persona initials. I almost can't read anything about sociopaths anymore. It makes my stomach turn. There's anforum for them and the way they talk like they're superior and smarter and the better way to live is like reading a confession from a killer. But he did pick the right victim since I'm an empath. It helps reading this stuff because now I'm being very objective and very guarded
      October 9, 2014 5:47 PM BST
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  • I hope this is a coincidence. American female author M E Thomas  Author of the book Confessions of a Sociopath , available fom Amazon and interviews of her on the internet , Huffington post ect.

      October 9, 2014 1:17 PM BST
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  • Hi Miranda.

    This is a classic case of misdiagnosis and from what you have said above it is clear it is not a permanant gender identity problem. The therapist needs a good kick up the arse , your husband needs more than a good kick up the arse , and the person who prescribed the hormones needs a good kick up the arse too. This would not happen in the UK or if it did people would lose their jobs.

    I did point out in a post that has vanished that a diagnosis should not be made untill all other possible disorders are ruled out. Bi-polar is the most common one mainly because of the convincing personality change. Not in the mood? That is no help to you after everything he has put you through , yes he does have a problem but just look at the fallout and how this has affected you and your family life.

    I know you are strong you have shown that , you also have compassion. I hope you do follow up on the divorce because you are not safe living like this , your children are not either. If I were in your situation I would remove him from your family life ASAP at least untill he gets a diagnosis on what his real problem is. Some men can and do dress as females as a form of escapism , he may deep down want to escape from you and even your children. The main problem you have is you can no longer trust him or believe anything he tells you. He has a proven track record of cheating and is a liar , it maybe down to illness but he admited he did know what he was doing.

     

    As he is so unpredictable be prepared to call 911 if you ever feel you and your children are at risk. Untill you know what is actually wrong with him you do not know what will come next. The best thing anyone can do in your situation is make him leave , just pack his bags for him if you need to , it must be like living with the devil , sounds harsh but you need to move on , you do not deserve this and your children need a more stable life too.

     

    Take care , Julia xx

      October 9, 2014 9:46 AM BST
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  • Definitely something else going on there. Sociopath, bi-polar... or just bonkers. He needs help for his destructive behaviour.
    We really feel for you Miranda.
    xx
    <p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino; font-size: medium; color: #000080;">"Stop aspiring to be other people and start being you."</span></p> <p>Gok Wan</p>
      October 9, 2014 12:32 AM BST
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  • Yeah, he fits every single description to a T of a sociopath. And stopped taking hormones and said he's "not in the mood" to dress or transition anymore.
      October 9, 2014 12:25 AM BST
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  • It's not something I've ever heard of happening, but who knows how sociopathy may manifest itself. I would have thought it would be unlikley such a person would stay on a course of hormones for long.
    Do you suspect this to be the case with your husband, Miranda?
    xx
    <p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino; font-size: medium; color: #000080;">"Stop aspiring to be other people and start being you."</span></p> <p>Gok Wan</p>
      October 9, 2014 12:22 AM BST
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  • Okay. I guess like could a sociopath claim to have GD and obviously be manipulative because it's fun or new or exciting but then once that wears off, suddenly they never had it? Idk how to word it right lol
      October 9, 2014 12:10 AM BST
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  • Not necessarily congruent, but having GD doesn't exclude any personality disorder.
    I've met one or two borderline sociopaths with GD, but one disorder does not cause the other, in my opinion.
    xx
    <p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino; font-size: medium; color: #000080;">"Stop aspiring to be other people and start being you."</span></p> <p>Gok Wan</p>
      October 9, 2014 12:05 AM BST
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  • Thank you all very much for the kind words of support. I'm sorry I haven't been back, it's been hectic. I was curious if you know if GD, real or "fake", can be congruent with a different disorder. Such as a sociopath?
      October 8, 2014 11:49 PM BST
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  • Hi Miranda;

     

    I'm so sorry that you have had to endure all this. There are no words that can describe this type of betrayal and overwheliming loss after everything you have tried to do. Please try to remember that these were NOT your decisions. You are entitled to a better life for you and your children. All this is not your fault.

     

    xx

    marissa

      October 8, 2014 1:37 PM BST
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  • I am thinking that looking through this whole thread that you Miranda have been truly selfless. Your husband has been selfish from the start. Did he stop and think of you? Selfish people only think of themselves most of the time , you must feel so used. All we can do is guess and even you must do after the lies . The stuff about the therapist was most likely lies too , he must have seen that person more than once and fooled them aswell get that prescription. Where is his  love for you in all of this? . I did say transgender people can be good parents , your children have had a lucky escape so that is the only good thing I can find in this now.

    You are the perfect mother you have shown that with your strengths through out this. He would never make a good mother with the track record posted here. Lie after lie and then cheating on you. As Crissie says "You are worth more than this" . 

    Julia xx

      October 7, 2014 6:10 AM BST
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  • Miranda, What I think  some of us picked up on was  his post about keeping his penis, to keep you happy and fulfill his manly duties, nothing about how you, and your feelings,   Not realy indicative of how most transexual feel about, wanting to continue doing manly things.
    All the research he apparently did, nothing about how hormone treatment would affect this, and his ability to perform. wonder if he explained that to the gender councellor who would have had strong reservations for putting him forward straight away for HRT.
    Your sincerity and devotion were never in doubt.   hang on in there, your worth more than this.

    Cristine Jennifer Shye** Beware the toes you tread on today, they might be attached to the arse your forced to kiss tomorow. Contenplating involvement with a man? Make sure you can cook realy well or face having sex on a regular basis. Men are like paving slabs, lay them properly, they will stay put and you can walk over them for ever.
    This post was edited by Cristine Jennifer Shye. BL at October 8, 2014 1:15 PM BST
      October 6, 2014 9:29 PM BST
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  • I  100% agree with Lucy and Crissie Miranda. If what I typed above does not make much sense it was typed in a hurry as I had a meeting to get to but I had to respond but the thought was there for you.

     

    You from the start of this have given nothing but support for your husband for it all to be thrown back in your face. You are far to special a woman to have that happen to you. There are not many genetic females in this world that would do what you have done for their husband.

     

    When your life is turned upside down like yours has please beware of any more lies from your husband. He will come running back at some point full of apologies and more lies , please be carefull for your own sake and the sake of your children.

    We are all thinking of you so take care of yourself and your children , Julia xx.

     

    PS: Yes you did read right , I do agree with Lucy 100% , our opinions clash most times but this is about you now . xx

    This post was edited by Former Member at October 8, 2014 1:16 PM BST
      October 6, 2014 5:36 PM BST
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  • I am so sorry, it's so much to take on board, for you Miranda, taking on your husbands gender identity problems, standing by him, giving support and care,   this betrayal is beyond comprehension.   

     

    Lucy has it spot on,  ''You're an itelligent, articulate and caring person and I think you've found a few admirers here. I certainly admire your dignity and grace throughout all of this.

     

    I wonder if this new woman will be so understanding, personally I hope she finds it repulsive and makes him feel like the loser he is.    My thoughts are with you.

     

    Cristine Jennifer Shye** Beware the toes you tread on today, they might be attached to the arse your forced to kiss tomorow. Contenplating involvement with a man? Make sure you can cook realy well or face having sex on a regular basis. Men are like paving slabs, lay them properly, they will stay put and you can walk over them for ever.
      October 6, 2014 4:15 PM BST
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  • Really sorry to hear this Miranda. Many of us know how it feels.
    You're an itelligent, articulate and caring person and I think you've found a few admirers here. I certainly admire your dignity and grace throughout all of this.
    We're always here if you ever need someone to talk to.
    xx
    <p><span style="font-family: 'book antiqua', palatino; font-size: medium; color: #000080;">"Stop aspiring to be other people and start being you."</span></p> <p>Gok Wan</p>
      October 6, 2014 2:08 PM BST
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  • That is so sad to hear Miranda. It is an all to often ending though and I guess you are are feeling even more cheated on now.

    You still are a truly amazing woman and do not deserve any of this. You now know all of the signs and the feeling of being lied to and cheated on. At some point in your future you will meet someone special who you can trust and spend more happy times with that does have a happy ending.

    I hope you and your two beautiful children can move on as soon as possible and although the father of your children will always be that , you now know what kind of person you married. Liars and cheats are plentifull in this world but there are good people out there too , you deserve to find one of them.

     

    Can you please stay with GS? You have a lot to offer this website. Your experiences can help others that come here and I do realise that it may be painfull to share them. If you look at it from the point that you have had that awefull experience and suffered the pain you may feel you can get something back knowing that you have helped others or had the chance to maybe prevent it happening to another like you. If you can help prevent this happening to just one other family or couple then you may feel everything you have gone through has had some worth however bad it has been.

    Time is only a healer that has no set limit in that healing process , there is no speed limit for each individual but it will heal.You have amazed us with your strengths and now you need them more for you and your children , this is now about you and your children.

     

    I guess I am not your favourite person here but I have always told it like it is. Again please stay but also take all the time you need to sort your life out first. You could have a lot to offer others here in the future by staying . You may decide you have no wish to even talk about it and we would all respect you for that and never think anything bad of you. You have gained a lot of respect here and you will have support if you ever need it.

     

    Sending you one big huge hug from myself here in the UK. You touched me in a very big way.

     

    Take care of yourself and your children because that is what matters now .

     

    Sending you my love , Julia xx

    This post was edited by Former Member at October 8, 2014 1:16 PM BST
      October 6, 2014 8:31 AM BST
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  • Well none of this matters now. We are getting divorced. She's been seeing someone else and went so far as to go on a date last night with her telling me she was playing pool with a different guy friend.
      October 6, 2014 4:44 AM BST
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