Just breath...it will be ok
Miranda.
When I first looked at your post about the therapist my first thought was something is not right here. Now I live in the UK as you know and things here work very different to the USA . Something is still not right here though. I am assuming by your post that you did not sit in on this appointment? You should have asked if you could I will tell you why if you confirm you were not there if that is ok?. I can do that by PM if you wish it not to be put here , it is not advice it is something that "could" put some sense into this and is just a thought and is based on this whole thread not just the appointment.
For now take care , look after yourself and your beautiful children and DW.
Please go back and do it together face to face Miranda . I am not going to say why here unless you want me to but you need to , this is your life too.
Take care , Julia x
Miranda.
I am going to PM you. I think you have had to much going on for your head to keep up with this . There are 3 things on my mind and one has to be the answer.
Give me 5 minutes and check your inbox.
Julia x
Elizabeth.
No one has mentioned in this that you are suicidal. Myself and others here were shocked that any gender therapist can diagnose you in one appointment.
I was trying to figure out what was going on as Miranda was very confused too. Some of us here have grown to care about all of you.
In my PM to Miranda I asked has she thought that you "May have" Told the therapist that you were suicidal to get what you want , many do.
I did not say you were and believe me I do know what I am talking about "I was suicidal" When my doctor prescribed me HRT and blockers. You are 5 times more likely to think about suicide than any other person that is a fact , you can Google it.
I gave Miranda 3 reasons I could not understand such a fast diagnosis. One of them was that you may have lied to the therapist because you have lied to Miranda in the past. I am not in anyway condemning you for that because again I do know what it is like to be trans.
From now on you need to be 100% honest with Miranda so please do not let her down. You have an amazing woman by your side and as you say and , I have done 2 beautiful children.
Mirandas story has touched me and others here. All I and others want to see is for you all to be happy.
Give me 5 minutes maybe 10 and I will upload something to youtube. It is not a pretty sight because you will see how bad I was before I changed. I care and others here do to just please remember that.
Take care , back soon with the link , Julia .
ive been reading this quietly but i wanted to just say, this is a very confusing time, for both of you. dont be too hard on your selves, its all new. neither of you have been here before, so how the heck are you meant to know how it works, or what to think or do? things will sway this way and that, then just when you think its settled down, it will sway again. go with it. the most important thing is communication. between the two of you.
as has been said before, here there are people who care, and want to be there for you, but ultimately, what is important, is you. your family, each other.
remember you are both individuals, you both have needs, and desires, and dreams. be true to your selves. i can tell that you both love each other, and want to work this all out. you truely are a wonderful, kind, thoughtful, loving woman Miranda, but dont neglect your self. elizabeth is important to you, and you to her, that is the most obvious part of all this. i am in awe of your selflessness Miranda, dont try too hard to understand everything all at once, its a lot to take in, and it will frustrate you. takes things slowly, learn together, walk together, grow together, this is a road not many people walk, it can be hard at time, but it can also be wonderful, magical even. the journey of self discovery is the ultimate journey, i hope you both find it enlightening, and helps to release the restraints that everyday life puts on all of us.
xxxxxxx
this is linda, some times its helpful to write things out, then go back a re-read, and also to read other peoples thoughts. it helps to put some kind of reality stamp on things.
this is only my thoughts, but the most important thing now, is not what you do or dont write on here, its what you both talk about. we are here for when you do want to share, but this is a very personal journey, for you both. we can walk bits of it WITH you if you want us to, from afar, but we can not walk it for you. it is yours and yours alone to wander, discover your own path, hand in hand, side by side. and no matter what happens, you know you have been true to you.
hold your head high, be proud, for how many people in this world, can say they have lived a life true to them selves?
Please be kind to one another and listen actively.
marissa
Hi Miranda;
Hold on tight, I'm sure the journey will hold a few surprises for both of you. I wish you both all the best. remember we are here if either one of you need anything.
xx
marissa
Miranda, Elizabeth - oh how I wish the very best for you both. May it be that you have a long, loving and wonderful relationship that is fulfilling for both of you.
We'll wlways be hear to listen and help if you can,
Love, Amanda.
All seems to be extremely rushed to me.
Rushed is an understatement Crissie.
First post 12th August 2014.
21st August therapist diagnosed gender dysphoria in one appointment.
3rd Sept 2014 prescribed hormones.
Wow! Now now that is a record.
Has anyone here realised that is about 3 weeks? So from being confused to being diagnosed and being prescribed hormones in just 3 weeks.
Then I see Marissa having to wait over a month just to get a first appointment.
So I done some research all about Kaiser Medi-cal none of this is possible.
Kaiser is for low income individuals or family's. I went to north California's link and read through what they provide , none of the above comes into it as covered by them. At no point in this thread has it been mentioned that this is out of Kaiser's hands and been refered as private. Then there is the fact that in this thread it is stated that private treatment is not affordable anyway.
Well this all fooled me up untill the point where the diagnosis came so fast then the doubts kicked in straight away.
Would somone like to explain please? I know I am not the only one who wants to know. If not I will place the links here so someone in the USA can come up with an explaination , I doubt there is one though.
Julia .
I have removed the link to Kaiser! Please use your own search engine for: Kaiser Medical California , the facts are there.
It is not just this that has myself and others here wondering about this. As I stated it is the fact that all of this happened within a matter of just 3 weeks. "Any" Medical practice whether you pay a huge sum or a small sum would be and can find themselves in a lawsuit for gross malpractice if what you have stated in this thread is true. Kaiser would never risk their reputation and a huge lawsuit for prescribing hormones to an individual without going through months of therapy and psychological tests on a male to female trans patient. If what you have written here is true then Kaiser are putting themselves at risk for putting a patient at risk.
All myself and others here want to really know is how this was possible? . If this is all true then for the sake of the patient you need to seek a second opinion and then start a lawsuit against Kaiser for what most would consider medical malpractice.
Never seen this happen before.........
What the Hell happened here
I can't see any of the comments anymore....
I do not want this to decend into an arguement. If what you have stated is fact the person who prescribed the hormones is incompetent. After one appointment they are taking on the risk of turning a fit and sexually healthy male into an impotent male. I understand that your partner is trans but it has to carried out at a pace so as not to make any mistakes. Once those hormones are used for a period of time there is no turning back. No more children and even in some cases no more erection.
Can you see why this is hard to take in? Why would a medical professional risk that , it makes no sense .
Julia .
I wish you would reconsider leaving GS. We would be happy to help you in any way possible. If you find that leaving is your only option, I wish you both all the best and hope that your love for one another continues to grow.
xx
marissa
I personally know 2 people who ended their transition within a year of starting hormones. They have reverted back to living life as males. I have also read many true story's of others that have done the same. For most it is not an easy ride and for a lot there is all kinds of of confusion going on in their lives.
For that reason many other things and possible conditions have to be ruled out by health care professionals , bipolar is just one example. I have not learnt this stuff from a search engine! I learnt it from doctors and others that have been through it.
It makes no odds to me what your health insurance covers you for but , it is my opinion and it is just my opinion that someone is making a big mistake here. Doctors are there to care for you , in the UK we call it a duty of care. It seems no doctor has even had a chance to think this through. By your own addmission you were diagnosed in one appointment! Sorry it cannot be done , not anywhere on this planet can a therapist diagnose you after one meeting and you do have to be diagnosed before any other professional can just hand out hormones . Most people on here and other trans sites who come from the US self medicate to start or still do. That is not a good idea for anyone. Some do it because they do not want others to know, others do it because they are just plain stupid , and some do it because it is not covered by insurance or it will make their insurance invalid.
You say you are sure! It is the doctors and others involved in your health that need to be sure , they are there to care for you not make mistakes and take risks with patients.
Again this is my opinion this has all happened way to fast for "Anyone" To be sure.
Julia .
I will just add "My opinions" Are based on what is in front of me and some research. Give me a reason to prove I am wrong and I will admit I was wrong. Leaving this website will not give you or myself a chance at that.
For now untill I have good reason to come back to this topic I am out of it.
Julia .
Miranda you are not understanding our concerns, we don't have an axe to grind, it gets to the point when some of us just give up and don't give a toss, some of us have done it, speak from first hand experience, we get involved in these type of posts and get concerned, even our residental councellor Amanda showed concern over the speed of progress. Three weeks, now on hormones, on a path of no return. Your young, and I realy don't think you have taken it all in yourself, yet. from the little I know of the laws in your state, a name change etc has to done before embarking on this treatment and done through the courts and in most states has to be published in local papers for 3 consecutive weeks.
good luck