Your name

  • August 23, 2006 2:07 PM BST
    How did you pick your female name? Is it important to have a good female name to pass in public? Is staying away from less common names (like anita or fiona) a good idea or staying away from common names (like Kelly or Samantha)?
  • August 23, 2006 2:12 PM BST
    I was just lazy, I picked out the name that had one letter difference from my old name. The good thing is that if or when I get mail on my old name it can be explained as a printing error. Also I can hear my name wright even if my male name would be used. Only my mom was not happy...she would have named me Katri. But no objections about my female sex.

    • 515 posts
    August 23, 2006 10:12 PM BST
    I to got my name from my mother .....she nad a list of names she was going to call me if i was to be born male of female .... i don't think she expected to use them both.. oh well
    My middle name came from Beverly out of love and respect for her.

    But no matter how you get your name as long as it feels right it is good for you
  • August 24, 2006 4:32 AM BST
    The full female name I use is Charisse Lyn Phillips.

    Like most posted here, I, too, used family names:

    Kari is short for Charisse, which I always pronounced with an "sh" sound at the beginning, but everyone who read it seemed to begin it with a "k" sound. So, I gave up fighting it and then shortened it to Kari. Less confusion. Kind of like what happens with a name like Jennifer. Do I call her Jennifer, Jen, Jenni, Jenny, Jeni, or what.

    Just going by good 'ol Kari avoids the whole thing. And, it's easier to type late at night when posting whilst sleepy.

    The middle name, Lynn, is a tip of the hat to my lovely wife, as it is her middle name.

    The last name is a pluralized nod to my grandfather, on my Dad's side, who wasn't alive when I was born: Phillips.

    It's long, but sounded nice when I put it all together.



  • August 24, 2006 5:50 AM BST
    Having the right to rename me I used it as widely as possible. In addition to Laura I took also Virve and Natalia.
    I first decided for Virpi, because I´m born on Virpi´s day, but then I met a Virpi who was so stupid that I didn´t want to be Virpi any more. Natalia is a beautiful name and I love to read Natalia Ginzburg´s novels in Italian.
    But as a whole Laura Virve Natalia has international names, actually from three neighbouring countries; Finland, Estonia and Russia. All of them dear to me.

  • August 24, 2006 8:36 AM BST
    I guess with time I'll just find a name I feel comfortable with. If I were to have been able to pick my male name, I would have chosen Ryan Lawrence Brantford
  • August 24, 2006 9:10 AM BST
    In my country anyone has the right to pick out hir or her name without a charge. They charge for the name change only if it happens twice or more often.
    To pick out a name, different from your juridical sex, is only allowed to diagnosted transsexuals, with a special statement printed out by the screening personnel.

  • August 30, 2006 1:46 AM BST
    I've Had a few but just wasen't satisfied with them till I started using Samantha I chose it because it fit my persona a cute sexy name for a shy yeat fun loving girl. To me your name should say something about your self, how do you feel about the name you picked does it fit you or not. To me it dosen't matter weather you use a common name or even a less commen name as long as it fits you that in my openion is all that matters.
  • September 1, 2006 12:44 AM BST
    I became Rachel way back around 67-68. First it was Raquel from Raquel Welch but, my friend Eric/Erica kept saying Rachel so Rachel I was. My middle name, Allison came about around 71 because I so loved Ali McGraws hair and wanted to look just like her. My last name, Stevens is actually my middle name with the S added on. Rachelngarters (Rachel in garters) came from a guy I was once dated from the Hillcrest area in San Diego because I always wore a garterbelt and stockings when we went out. To this day I still have never wore pantyhose. Rachel Allison Stevens just fits me, much like garters and stockings
  • September 3, 2006 11:02 AM BST
    I chose Lucy because thats who I feel like.
    I always use to be Sarah whilst growing up liked the name.
    But Lucy feels more natural to me.
    Just the other day someone called out Lucy and I turned round, a little embaressing as I was not dressed en femme.
    So Lucy I am and Lucy I will stay.
    • 8 posts
    September 7, 2006 12:31 AM BST
    Like my TW sisters I decided on Gemma because it felt right to me and I think matches my demure and yet occasional sexy attitude when Gemma comes out to play.

    When you find the right name that fits how you feel, it's like luv.... you'll know it's right !

    Lots of love

  • November 5, 2006 10:14 AM GMT
    My first femme name was June. I picked that because an older lady who I worked with was absolutely gorgeous and I hoped that I looked as good as her when I reached my mid 50s. Then when I was looking to change my name by deed poll I wanted a name that meant my signature would remain the same as it was before my transitioning started. So it had to have the initials AJW. The W was easy as I did not intend changing my surname. J remained as June but became my middle name. I needed a forename starting with A but not too similar to my male name of Alan. Therefore Alana was out. I checked a few web sites and came up with Alina, nice and short but not very common here in England.
    So my name is Alina June Wicks. My dad likes it and that is very important to me. Work mates have no problem remembering it (not that they should as it has been my name for almost 11 months now).

    Kelly, the name you use is one you should be at ease with yourself.

    Alina xx
    • 8 posts
    November 21, 2006 5:31 PM GMT
    For me choosing a name was not a problem I have trauma from my father and decided a long time ago to use my mothers maiden name, Lewis. First name was one I liked and was reminded of everytime I went to ride my vintage Mopeds. Those from Europe might remember the Puch Maxi Luxe, also my favorite science-fiction show Lexx. So I naturally went with Lux it just seemed to fit my personality. To develope any good idea it's best not to think hard, it will just cloud your head. Instead go by feel use your emotions and be patient, you probably know your name already you just have to find it in yourself. Guess that advice came from the Designer in me
    • 1083 posts
    November 21, 2006 6:24 PM GMT

    We go through this in cycles...! I know in the archives we talked about names. But it is good to go through it again, every so often.

    I chose my name (after having tried two others!) based on simple personal preference. Sakura in Japanese is "Cherry Blossom", and Minako is Beautiful (little) child. So my name translates into "Beautiful Child of the Cherry Blossom." Mina (pronounced "Mee-nah") is the informal use of Minako.

    Having said that, choose your name wisely. See why here.

    Luv 'n hugs to you all,

    Mina Sakura
    "Almost-Angel, T-Girl Genius, and Ultra-Flirt"
    • 1083 posts
    December 4, 2006 5:32 AM GMT

    Hmmmm....does one's name alter one's ability to pass?

    I have a slight beef along that line, hon.

    Kelli asked if we thought it was “…important to have a good female name to pass in public? Is staying away from less common names (like anita or fiona) a good idea or staying away from common names (like Kelly or Samantha)?” I think is answer is not necessarily!

    While I agree with your initial premise--your choice of name can help you pass, if I read your post correctly—my feeling is that if you can't pass based on your choice of name, then honey, you can't pass. This is not a hard and fast rule, however, so allow me to explain my thoughts along this line.

    Obviously, your choice of name probably should be conventional. A "normal" name--depending on place/year of birth, etc. can be helpful in passing. If your name is Betty, Sue, Lisa or Jane, you shouldn't have too many odd looks in my neighborhood. On the other hand with a name like, say, Contessa DiValencia LePetomaine, you're begging to get examined--unless you look like a Contessa! I admit to getting some strange looks--I am, after all, quite caucasian--and with a Japanese name, I admit to getting a fair number of looks. ability to pass or not runs much, much deeper than my choice of name. There are a lot of factors that play into that. How I walk, my tone of voice and choice of words, hairstyle, confidence level, choice of makeup (or suitable lack thereof), appropriateness level of clothing (not wearing a ballgown to Wal-Mart, for example)...and a host of other things all play into that. It has to run much deeper than a name. Like I said in my article: “…you need to choose your name wisely.” But to me, there is so much more to passing than just your name.

    Luv ‘n hugs,
    • 1 posts
    August 23, 2007 7:24 PM BST
    We do call you other things at times Anna !. lol..... I got Denise cause its always been a name that stuck in my im a big Denise Van Outen fan.... and Bond...well because i cant afford an aston martin DB5 ! lol
  • August 27, 2007 3:27 AM BST
    Hi All,
    For me, Michelle just seemed right. It is the female form of my drab name,
    so it is easier to sign, write.... and I don't have to change any monograms.
    (he he - actually I don't have any).

    Seriously, I've always thought of myself as Michelle, even when people called me Michael.

    Hugz, and wishing our Ohio sisters a safe time. Hope you all are ok,

    Michelle Lynn
  • September 4, 2007 11:28 AM BST
    Ever since I can remember I have just loved petticoats. My last name sake maybe. But naming myself Patti brings me so close to being petticoats I just love it. I'm even being called petticoats now as a nick name.
  • September 4, 2007 9:23 PM BST
    Sally - after a one time girl friend who typified femininity to me - and Nights after my favourite clothes. Together I feel they have rather a nice ring about them and sound quite genuine in relevant circumstances. For now this is what I am - see attached.
    • 1 posts
    October 12, 2007 6:42 AM BST
    Kelly is a good name for ya.
    • 404 posts
    November 11, 2007 8:21 PM GMT
    hi girls,

    another twist on name-giving.I started out,like so many,on the basis of keeping the same initials re signatures and so on.BUT-I've never been happy with my surname which was a cause of shame,embarassment and a fair bit of piss-taking in school.On top of that,none of the possibilities with 'D' ever really appealed to me as a christian name.What I've done is this-my middle name was also my mother's maiden name and so serves perfectly acceptably as a surname-and my christian name (which is,incidentaly,depending upon the spelling,unisex/neutral)comes from my father's birthplace.There's nothing like keeping things in the family!

    All the best,Lynn Harvey

    • 315 posts
    November 11, 2007 9:17 PM GMT
    hi ....... I'm a new member, and this is my first post, so, seeing that it's about chosing your name, I thought it might be a good way to introduce myself to everyone, and say a little about myself.
    Sorry there's no images loaded yet ...... I haven't got any nice ones, but as soon as I have, I'll post them!

    So, how did I chose my name? ...............
    Well, the Angela part was just "always there" in my mind, from as far back as I can remember.
    I probably got it into my mind from a girl who lived in our street, when I was about 4 or 5 years old, and I was always a little envious of her, because she had the dresses and toys that I wanted, but couldn't have!
    The Louise part is a fairly recent choice.
    For some reason, as a boy, my parents didn't give me a middle name, so,when chosing my new name, I was determined to have one, but for a long time, I just couldn't decide on the right one!
    As I started my hormone treatment in August, I really had to get one decided on fairly soon, but every name I thought about just didn't seem to feel right for me. Then, over a period of about 10 days, a series of "coincidences" occured ......... I had meetings, dealings, correspondence, etc. with a number of people, who all seemed to have the name Louise in common! Also, one of my best girlfriends has Louise as her middle name! So, fate seemed to have given me "the sign" that louise just had to be my new middle name!
    And, just as a little bonus, I also really liked the name, as well!
    So that's how I became Angela Louise .......... in name at least.
    Whilst, inside, I've always been Angela, I recently, with the help and support of a couple of really good friends, made the decision that "inside" was not enough! The outside had to start to match the inside, so recently my journey began.
    • 448 posts
    November 15, 2007 4:07 PM GMT
    There was no urgency for me to change my name as my birth name is commonly perceived to be a girls name, so for a while I was happy to use Kimberley, though it never did seem quite right. Many years ago I was with some friends and one of them jokingly said if I were a car it would be a Porsche. And for a long time after, I was referred to as little Porsche, and I just changed the e to an a became Porscha and just grew into the name. Silly really. But I'm Porscha now and always.
    • 8 posts
    November 28, 2007 2:55 PM GMT
    I think choosing the correct name can be an arduous process. But, as many others have said, given enough time, it kind of just comes to you. My middle name is Michael. So, I tried to use Michelle for a few years in my last RLE. Although I got used to it, it just didn't really feel right to me.

    I think your name should be an overall indicator of who you are as a person, almost a reflection if you will. I am a sort of passive and caring person. And that is how I came to the name I now use. You also may want to consider how the name appeals to your phenotype. Some names are better for brunettes, and some better for blondes, while others are better for auburn haired people. When you attune yourself to these realities when choosing names, you will come to better conclusions in the long run, many times. I also found it to be better when I chose a name with the same number of syllables in both my first, middle, and last name. It seems more natural to me.

    It also helps to have a vision of your femininity. Every woman develops some sort of personal style, related to clothing, and manner. Sometimes when you are just starting out, you may not know the kind of woman you will become. So, it's best to keep an open mind about your name, and don't be too hard on yourself should you decide that something else fits you better later on. After all, this is all about a voyage of self-discovery.

  • January 16, 2009 3:36 PM GMT
    My name was a gift to me from my SO many years ago. When I broke the ice with her and we started setting up our first intimate evening together she actually asked me what name I wanted to go by. It was decided that she would pick a name for me after she had a chance to she me dressed up. I couldn't imagine any better way to have it happen. I actually thought it would take her a while to come up with something and had an idea in the back of my head that she would have a couple of names to choose from, but it took her no time at all that first evening to say, "Ginger, that's it. What do think?" I was instantly awe struck with the name it absolutely fits me in every way.
    • 33 posts
    January 17, 2009 2:35 AM GMT
    Hiya Ginger,
    That was really neat that your SO picked your name like that . I guess one of the Trans advantages is we get to pick our own names . I picked Michelle out as it was the title of my favorite print by Patrick Nagel. I have been a big fan of his artwork for a long time. Here is a link to the painting http://www.herndonfineart[...]lle.jpg.

    Many happy thoughts to all,

    • 252 posts
    May 21, 2010 4:07 AM BST
    My full name is Zoey Elizabeth Sloane. I changed all of my names including my last name. My former last name was German and was hard to pronounce. Since I was adopted, I chose to go with my biological last name.

    As far as my first name goes, I got it from a movie....."Killing Zoe". I was really drawn to the name, as much as Julie Delphy, the French actress in the movie. I saw myself as Zoey so that when the time came, there really was no discussion.

    Elizabeth was a combination of fortunate events and really good rhythm. I asked my mother what she would have named my sister if not Jennifer. She said Elizabeth. When I went over the whole name in my head, Elizabeth added a real since of rhythm to the name, Zo-ey E-liz-a-beth Sloane. 2-4-1 syllables. I love the flow of it.

    I'm proud of the name, as proud as the cute girl who has it!! *wink*

  • July 29, 2010 1:45 AM BST
    hi Kelly
    I agree with those who say if it feels good, go with it, I have used four different names over the years, but my current is special. The only person I am out to is my girlfriend and when I came out to her, she picked my name for me. She is incredible, not only accepts me but encourages me to be "myself". The night I told her I showed her pics of me and she didn't believe it was me. Although I had gone out in public before I knew her, I never had the confidence that I have now and we shop together and have fun. She has put me in the position where I had to interact with people, while it was happening I wanted to kick her #%%, but afterward I thanked her for pushing me. The longest I have lived nonstop is two weeks and it was the best two weeks of my life, I am living a dream that I never thought was possible and I owe it all to her for pushing me. I love her very much.
  • July 29, 2010 8:15 AM BST
    Asking my Mum when I was a kid what she would have named me if I'd been born a real girl.
    She said she liked the name "Janice" not for any particular reason, she just liked the name.
    So I've been Janis, (I changed it to the alternative version in my twenties. I thought it looked more "sophisticated"........ oh dear!) since about the age of eight, and that's who I am.
    A woman called Janis.
    • 12 posts
    July 29, 2010 2:50 PM BST
    I picked Makena after a long search via name directories online.

    Makena means "The Happy One" and is an african name.
    this meaning of the name reflected my personality the most, something I found very important when picking a name.
    It also has a 3 syllables Ma-ke-na which I also found important. One day when I figured it out myself I'll explain hihihihi..
    I imagined my name being called out loud on the streets by friends I would meet.. and those meetings mostly are about shouting eachothers name.. smile widely and run towards eachother and have a warm tight hug... of all the names I tried out Makena was the best for this..

    My last name is from my father.. although I altered it a bit by deleting one letter as that was confusing to most english people. And it happens most of my friends are English or American.
    For my stage name i would use Makena Monk. I'm a singer and musician but foremost an artist. Meaning I sing and make music now but could easily swap to any other creative, artistic occupation. In other words as an artist I don't limit myself to just one creative field.

    I believe that you can find out if a name is you, by letting other people call you by this name a lot.. in whisper, normal and (happy) shouting mode and see how you feel by that.

    My 2 cents,



  • August 10, 2010 6:06 PM BST
    I've thought about picking another name, maybe a more exotic sounding one. I was just lazy and simply added "andra" onto my real name.
    • 871 posts
    August 10, 2010 10:23 PM BST
    I wasnt allowed to have my prefered name which was "miss tula does the hula in hawaii naked for fifty quid" because apparently you're not allowed to include country names in a deed poll. so I was forced to have my alternative with the surname of "ago" so I am now known to all my customers as Penny Ago.
  • August 10, 2010 10:46 PM BST
    I didn't put much thought into it. I had a major crush on a girl in high school named Lisa. I asked her out many times and she always said no. So I took her name instead lol. iwas going out by then and needed a name, since people were always asking what my name was, and first thought was Lisa. The first sylibal is also my male name.
    Later on I got to thinking I needed a middle name. i have no idea why I thought this, but I did. Now I did put some thought into my middle name. At first I went with Love, but after awhile I thought Lisa Love sounded too pornish.
    Around this time my Grandmother died, so out of respect, I guess i used her name. So now my name is Lisa Marie
  • August 10, 2010 10:48 PM BST
    So Katie Price aka "Jordan" could be breaking the law?
    • 1912 posts
    August 10, 2010 11:22 PM BST
    My name is pretty simple, it has the same number of syllables as what my guy name had. I don't think this is too strange but I sometimes talk to myself when I'm working away and I always refer to myself as "Marsh". The name is also age appropriate for someone growing up in the sixties. I've never considered any other name and when it came time for my legal name change, I just filled in the blanks without giving it a moments thought.
  • August 11, 2010 12:13 AM BST
    I originally went by a different name when I was much younger, however a woman whom I knew shared the name and she had strong religious views and at the time so did I. Therefore I chose a different name which was Alison,which shared one of my initials. Would you believe though I was introduced the woman's sister and her name was Alison.
  • August 12, 2010 1:43 AM BST
    I used the same first letter "B" as the same as my male name so initials will be the same and "English" as my last name is only used online and is a play on my last name...........for security but use my real last name with Brenda most of the time...
    • 51 posts
    October 12, 2010 9:48 AM BST
    I had been Helen for years, as a result a party invite, there was no Helen in our group and we weren't going to get in without one so I said it was me, with a coy smile and in we went, it stuck for years but when I came to join the site I wanted something else and actually decided to avoid names of close friends and ex girlfriends, I wanted something more personal, more me and I thought long and hard, searched name lists and books, and then realised I'd known it all along. Mum and Dad had told me years ago that me and my brother would have been named Tara Bernadette or Nicola Bernadette if we had been girls, I have an estranged cousin by the name of Nicola and my wife wasn't so sure, so Tara Bernadette I became, and I have found it to be incredibly liberating to have a name for this part of me that I can claim as my own. I haven't really thought about a surname yet, but I guess I'd go back to my dad's mum's maiden name of Cavanagh to keep the Irish theme going.

    Dad never did explain who Bernadette was, lol

    • 43 posts
    November 16, 2010 7:07 AM GMT
    What a great question. I have only just chosen a name to stick with having run with variants of Samantha and Alison over the years.

    The first person I told who knew the male me didn't think Sam or Sammy suited so I asked her to chose me a name. She came up with Chrissy short for Christina as it was similar to one of my male names but not one that anyone knows me by. It does help as I have that initial on my credit card now too.

    Rowe was my great grandmothers surname and apparently she had the same colour hair as me when I was little. Until I was about 8 I had bright red hair which has now become a golden mix of dark and light blonde which my hairdresser won't let me colour as she says people would pay £100s to get the same colours.

    Now having read these posts perhaps I need to chose a middle name too!

    • 3 posts
    November 16, 2010 5:53 PM GMT
    I've chosen my name because it was the same of one of my first love when i was young...not so awesome but true. By the way, she has never known about it...i wanted to become her but never had the strength and the will to do it before... Now, it's different.
    Thank you, i love you all, sis.
  • November 16, 2010 11:47 PM GMT
    For me I just played on my male name and chose Jamie and Lynn sounded good for a middle name and I took my middle name Edward and added an s for my last name Edwards so nothing special but it fits me.xxxxJamie
    • 12 posts
    November 25, 2010 9:37 AM GMT
    I've taken a long time to settle on something I really like. I've been through all kinds of phases with names as I've grown with who I am and looking back some of them have been great fun but are not really appropriate for who and where I am now.

    I've finally come up with this name because it has special meaning to me. Lucy was a very special person in my life when I was much younger and was the first person I told about my wanting to be a woman - she was incredibly supprortive of me and I owe her so much and never got to say thank you properly so this is kind of my way of doing that.

    The second bit, well that's part of my male name which can either be a first name or surname and I felt I needed a link to that part of my life too.

    Lucy x
    • 2627 posts
    August 23, 2006 2:35 PM BST
    The right name is the one that feels like you. If kelly doesn't have that feel you can change it later. There is no right or wrong. Unless you want to realy stand out don't pick anything realy different.
  • August 23, 2006 9:53 PM BST
    I had my parents name me. I figured since they did it once they should have the honour again!
    • 2068 posts
    August 24, 2006 9:20 PM BST
    Well, there's only one reason why i chose anna-marie....& thats cos it just sounded "right", if you can understand that

    LOL xxxxxxxxx
    • 2017 posts
    September 1, 2006 9:12 PM BST
    I took a great deal of time finding the right name for me, I tried a few privately but 'Nikki' just seemed to fit my persona. My last name is actually the name of a very dear girlfriend I met in Germany when I was 16.
    • 2627 posts
    September 3, 2006 11:40 AM BST
    LOL Lucy I've done that. Than thought OMG I wonder if anyone saw me. I'll answer to Karen as quickly as I do to my given name. Thats how well it fits my mind set.
    • 2017 posts
    September 6, 2006 9:11 PM BST
    Congratulations Frances. Enjoy your new world.
    • 24 posts
    October 13, 2006 10:57 AM BST
    OK, so I had this really big crush on the French actress Julie Delphy. She was in this wild, strange bank caper film in the 90s called "Killing Zoe". I liked the name very much and when I started going into chatrooms, I used the somehow funner spelling "Zoey". It seemed to me really that my name picked me rather than the other way around.

    My middle name is Elizabeth. Elizabeth was the first person I ever told about me. She died of cancer and I dedicated my middle name to her.
    • 2573 posts
    December 4, 2006 10:58 AM GMT
    It's true we've done this before. I find that every time my perceptions and understanding of my name choice has altered somewhat.

    I started a "name" hunt as a decision that involved deciding I wanted a girl's name when cross-dressing. By the time I reached TW, and realized I was TG, it was a search for a pseudonym to use as an online identity at TG sites. That's all Wendy Larsen was to me at the time I joined. Since then you have made it my name and I've come to identify with it, often more so than my birth name. I often have to hesitate when asked my name....and think. I can't imagine changing it now. I have never liked my birth name (sorry mom) and I'm quite fond of Wendy Larsen. In addition, my SO prefers to call me Wendy.

    I had decided that the "exotic" names were definitely a bad idea for going out in the world. I knew if I managed to "pass" I certainly wanted a simple name, easy to understand and spell, unambiguous and definitely not one that might be gender-ambiguous and cause people to check closely to see if I was Terry or Teri. I wanted it short, feminine, unambiguous, easy to spell and not "sexy"/attention causing or a unfortunate pun / entendre. All designed to not draw attention. I considered the homonym of my male name. In retrospect it would make things easy for my SO as she could call me either version, in front of acquaintances, without drawing more than a slight attention which her accent could explain away. I underestimated the value of this and I DO like the femme version of my name.....but you have all given me a deep emotional attachment for Wendy, my other top choice. So you see, my reasons for my name have changed since I first picked it. Considering it took me about two years to find a name I like I'm glad I still do.

    I also avoided my given names, since realizing I was TG, because I wanted to avoid any embarrassment for my family. This way they can choose whether to let anyone know about me and what I do publicly will not land on them through a Google search. Interestingly, my mother and I (birth name) are the only two in the family without a single hit in Google search.

    Hanna, I plan to ask my mother to let me use the name she would have given a daughter as my middle name. I owe her that. It would be a token of acceptance. As Wendy I have hits. Looks like I guessed right on that one. In addition, it turns out that Wendy means: A wanderer; fair complexioned.......which I didn not know when I picked it. I am a military brat and have moved more times than most of you have pairs of shoes. I am a backpacker. I am blond. I think I have a winner here, lol.