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Meredith Newton 's Entries

388 blogs
  • 14 Oct 2006
    I turn your attention away from the drama to my repeated efforts to harm myself……..First of all, at work on the docks I was not paying attention to how I was closing this short, heavy iron gate at the dock steps and whacked myself in the ass. I now have this nice little bruise on my left…..never mind……..We’ve had winter weather here already, including snow (although around here it didn’t stick). Yesterday, like the rest of this weekend, I have to be out on the boats. With the high winds, and high waves, it was sure fun out there yesterday. I did try to dress warm, including wearing my best tights (if my co-workers ever knew!), but, like I said in the chatroom, I froze my nads off out there. So, I think I found a way to save money on SRS.I was chewed out a bit by two certain beautiful young ladies in North Little Rock, who just happen to be TW members, about not having an appropriate coat for this weather. Whoops. I was also taken to task for my choice of lunch the other day – a bag of hot style cheese popcorn. It was all I had time for! Really! Lexi! Brandi! I promise to do better!  At least it wasn't the sweet tarts and can of coke like before.I’m not going to say a word about how I almost broke my wrist climbing down from the wheelhouse.
    599 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • I turn your attention away from the drama to my repeated efforts to harm myself……..First of all, at work on the docks I was not paying attention to how I was closing this short, heavy iron gate at the dock steps and whacked myself in the ass. I now have this nice little bruise on my left…..never mind……..We’ve had winter weather here already, including snow (although around here it didn’t stick). Yesterday, like the rest of this weekend, I have to be out on the boats. With the high winds, and high waves, it was sure fun out there yesterday. I did try to dress warm, including wearing my best tights (if my co-workers ever knew!), but, like I said in the chatroom, I froze my nads off out there. So, I think I found a way to save money on SRS.I was chewed out a bit by two certain beautiful young ladies in North Little Rock, who just happen to be TW members, about not having an appropriate coat for this weather. Whoops. I was also taken to task for my choice of lunch the other day – a bag of hot style cheese popcorn. It was all I had time for! Really! Lexi! Brandi! I promise to do better!  At least it wasn't the sweet tarts and can of coke like before.I’m not going to say a word about how I almost broke my wrist climbing down from the wheelhouse.
    Oct 14, 2006 599
  • 09 Oct 2006
    I said I was confused. Yes, in some ways.But in other I never felt so alive.I haven’t been chained to my word processor like I have been recently. Besides my two history books which will be released about one every two years, I am doing more.I am also a fiction writer. I have two books there. The problem is they were written in a format other than those than can be read by current software. So, I have to rewrite them. That is actually good because I can edit and rewrite them as I go along. I haven’t has so much fun writing in ages. My favorite book is a series of short stories. Some of you have read these already. I love them.Trust me, I am fine. I just had to rethink a lot of things. I am NOT about to do something stupid, and I am so sober.Here’s the funny thing. I tried to find the local convenience store around here. Jen Jen told me how to get there. I have a natural sense of direction, but in my thoughts, where I was rewriting these stories in my head, I got lost in this town in which I just recently moved. She came and rescued me and I rewarded her with two packs of fags.I had a few bad days lately, to be sure. But the one thing is sure. I am moving forward. I also have Lexi.Last night, though, this one obnoxious captain was making fun of me, and others laughed. They didn’t know at first I heard it. When they found out they were quite sorry.My boss asked me if I would be available next season. That means I still have my job because they like me.I am fine. Really.
    612 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • I said I was confused. Yes, in some ways.But in other I never felt so alive.I haven’t been chained to my word processor like I have been recently. Besides my two history books which will be released about one every two years, I am doing more.I am also a fiction writer. I have two books there. The problem is they were written in a format other than those than can be read by current software. So, I have to rewrite them. That is actually good because I can edit and rewrite them as I go along. I haven’t has so much fun writing in ages. My favorite book is a series of short stories. Some of you have read these already. I love them.Trust me, I am fine. I just had to rethink a lot of things. I am NOT about to do something stupid, and I am so sober.Here’s the funny thing. I tried to find the local convenience store around here. Jen Jen told me how to get there. I have a natural sense of direction, but in my thoughts, where I was rewriting these stories in my head, I got lost in this town in which I just recently moved. She came and rescued me and I rewarded her with two packs of fags.I had a few bad days lately, to be sure. But the one thing is sure. I am moving forward. I also have Lexi.Last night, though, this one obnoxious captain was making fun of me, and others laughed. They didn’t know at first I heard it. When they found out they were quite sorry.My boss asked me if I would be available next season. That means I still have my job because they like me.I am fine. Really.
    Oct 09, 2006 612
  • 07 Oct 2006
    I leave in a few minutes. Got visitation this morning, then I hit the docks later in the day.I have been doing a lot of writing lately. I have a complete book of fiction short stories and they needed to be re-entered. That’s been helping me keep my inspiration going.I still need to do the blood test for the endo. I figure to do that in a few weeks on the same day I have a job interview. There is a chance I might go back into doing compliance work until the teaching job comes along.I’ve been asked by the ex not to move away anywhere for the time being as the effect on our kid would be devastating. She’s having a hard enough time with my being gone as it is. If I was to take a job in another city, or country (like the idea I had of going to China for a while), she would not handle it at all. But I do get to see her this morning.I must admit I’m having a bit of a hard time this weekend. I’m confused about a few things and I really need to work things out. I just had my shrink appointment yesterday. I wish I had another one right away. I won’t see her again until Friday, although I can call her anytime. I was really depressed about a few things on Thursday and Lily the Pink Floyd took the time to listen.I made a stop at VS yesterday to cash in the free gift card they sent me.I am getting a bit nervous about my financial situation. The boat job is starting to dry up in terms of hours. But I have some ideas as to what to do.
    576 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • I leave in a few minutes. Got visitation this morning, then I hit the docks later in the day.I have been doing a lot of writing lately. I have a complete book of fiction short stories and they needed to be re-entered. That’s been helping me keep my inspiration going.I still need to do the blood test for the endo. I figure to do that in a few weeks on the same day I have a job interview. There is a chance I might go back into doing compliance work until the teaching job comes along.I’ve been asked by the ex not to move away anywhere for the time being as the effect on our kid would be devastating. She’s having a hard enough time with my being gone as it is. If I was to take a job in another city, or country (like the idea I had of going to China for a while), she would not handle it at all. But I do get to see her this morning.I must admit I’m having a bit of a hard time this weekend. I’m confused about a few things and I really need to work things out. I just had my shrink appointment yesterday. I wish I had another one right away. I won’t see her again until Friday, although I can call her anytime. I was really depressed about a few things on Thursday and Lily the Pink Floyd took the time to listen.I made a stop at VS yesterday to cash in the free gift card they sent me.I am getting a bit nervous about my financial situation. The boat job is starting to dry up in terms of hours. But I have some ideas as to what to do.
    Oct 07, 2006 576
  • 19 Sep 2006
    All I think about a lot these days is what it was like one year ago as compared to now. I was especially reminded of it as I had a therapist appointment, and her office is right by where I used to live with my friend. While I do talk to this friend on occasion, it is not very often these days. A few people think we should talk more. Hey, I don’t remember getting many phone calls. The thing is I am finding myself more and more uncomfortable outside of the TG community.I wrote about my birthday weekend in the Forums, so there is no need to repeat that here. Some years back I had this incredible birthday weekend. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect. First there was opening night at the opera, a weekend stay at a nice downtown Chicago hotel, then some fun running around Chicago’s lakefront and museums, champagne, etc. The weather this weekend reminded of that time, except I was working this year. My therapist recommended mentioning my birthday on the tours and see if it helped with tips. It did! I am such a whore!I did get to see my daughter on Sunday and she gave me a nice book on bridges. I’ve always had a fascination with bridges (long story). My co-workers were great to me. I would have gone to the "Goat" with them for a drink or two except I had to head home. I might have been alone for the most part but I did have my TW girls with me in spirit, including one very special person. Lexi was the first person to send me a card. I sure do appreciate the nice Forum thread that you all signed!The tour company I work for has a Halloween party every year. I will be going to this party all dolled up. All I need to do is figure out what I’m going to wear, who will help me with makeup, etc. Such decisions!I am getting a bit concerned with finances as my hours haven’t been the greatest lately, so I better find something else, and soon. I’ll be fine for a while as I do expect a check from one publisher, and they are giving me almost a full slate of work this weekend.So I guess not much today. Just thought I’d check in.
    551 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • All I think about a lot these days is what it was like one year ago as compared to now. I was especially reminded of it as I had a therapist appointment, and her office is right by where I used to live with my friend. While I do talk to this friend on occasion, it is not very often these days. A few people think we should talk more. Hey, I don’t remember getting many phone calls. The thing is I am finding myself more and more uncomfortable outside of the TG community.I wrote about my birthday weekend in the Forums, so there is no need to repeat that here. Some years back I had this incredible birthday weekend. The weather couldn’t have been more perfect. First there was opening night at the opera, a weekend stay at a nice downtown Chicago hotel, then some fun running around Chicago’s lakefront and museums, champagne, etc. The weather this weekend reminded of that time, except I was working this year. My therapist recommended mentioning my birthday on the tours and see if it helped with tips. It did! I am such a whore!I did get to see my daughter on Sunday and she gave me a nice book on bridges. I’ve always had a fascination with bridges (long story). My co-workers were great to me. I would have gone to the "Goat" with them for a drink or two except I had to head home. I might have been alone for the most part but I did have my TW girls with me in spirit, including one very special person. Lexi was the first person to send me a card. I sure do appreciate the nice Forum thread that you all signed!The tour company I work for has a Halloween party every year. I will be going to this party all dolled up. All I need to do is figure out what I’m going to wear, who will help me with makeup, etc. Such decisions!I am getting a bit concerned with finances as my hours haven’t been the greatest lately, so I better find something else, and soon. I’ll be fine for a while as I do expect a check from one publisher, and they are giving me almost a full slate of work this weekend.So I guess not much today. Just thought I’d check in.
    Sep 19, 2006 551
  • 07 Sep 2006
    I need to get in to the lab and get my blood work done so the endo can prescribe the right hormones. I really appreciate listening to you girls who are so knowledgeable about all this.  A special thanks to Bridgette, Ann and Lucy.Yes, I do walk around the apartment building as Mere. Maybe it isn’t a very smart idea as I think one or two people clearly don’t like it. When I am made up I think (hope) I can pass, yet, when I go to check my mail it might be a good idea to have on my wig as well as my skirt and heels.Had an interesting row with the ex this morning. Yes, I am to blame for everything. Yes, I am always wrong. Do you want to hear the latest rules I have to follow? I am not allowed to mention anyone’s name, like Lilienne. While I can understand not doing that in front of my daughter, what is wrong with talking about a friend? Now this is the good one: I cannot mention that I have cable TV. They don’t have cable, so my talking about it is rude. Let me see here – you took my house, my car, and my daughter. I hear about those all the time, but I cannot mention watching the telly.I swear, a Cray computer couldn’t keep up with all these rules I am to follow. The big one is that I am to take care of myself, but I cannot take care of myself because everyone else comes first. Soooooooo, if I make myself happy it is wrong. Yes, Sri Krishna would say that I am responsible to action but not entitled to the fruits of my action. True. But, if I don’t take care of myself, how can I possibly take care of others?  Sri Krishna would agree.  I still remember how she had a fit when I went to a friend’s party back in May. Yep. I was sure Adolf Hitler that night. How dare I have fun? What was I thinking?She criticized me for living at my folks, yet then asked me to stay there and give her the money I would have spent on rent. Uh huh. Be free but don’t be free. In fact, when she told me the marriage was over she told me to go ahead and date, but then laid down ground rules about what I could and couldn’t do!I have mentioned nothing about the whole thing involving Kendra and the babies. As for Lexi, I am going to let her figure it out. Trust me, she will go nuts when she finds out I have a girlfriend.Am I pissed off? Nope! I am actually laughing about all this. It is so funny. They all want to control me. And it isn’t working.Hormones, here I come!!!!!!!
    527 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • I need to get in to the lab and get my blood work done so the endo can prescribe the right hormones. I really appreciate listening to you girls who are so knowledgeable about all this.  A special thanks to Bridgette, Ann and Lucy.Yes, I do walk around the apartment building as Mere. Maybe it isn’t a very smart idea as I think one or two people clearly don’t like it. When I am made up I think (hope) I can pass, yet, when I go to check my mail it might be a good idea to have on my wig as well as my skirt and heels.Had an interesting row with the ex this morning. Yes, I am to blame for everything. Yes, I am always wrong. Do you want to hear the latest rules I have to follow? I am not allowed to mention anyone’s name, like Lilienne. While I can understand not doing that in front of my daughter, what is wrong with talking about a friend? Now this is the good one: I cannot mention that I have cable TV. They don’t have cable, so my talking about it is rude. Let me see here – you took my house, my car, and my daughter. I hear about those all the time, but I cannot mention watching the telly.I swear, a Cray computer couldn’t keep up with all these rules I am to follow. The big one is that I am to take care of myself, but I cannot take care of myself because everyone else comes first. Soooooooo, if I make myself happy it is wrong. Yes, Sri Krishna would say that I am responsible to action but not entitled to the fruits of my action. True. But, if I don’t take care of myself, how can I possibly take care of others?  Sri Krishna would agree.  I still remember how she had a fit when I went to a friend’s party back in May. Yep. I was sure Adolf Hitler that night. How dare I have fun? What was I thinking?She criticized me for living at my folks, yet then asked me to stay there and give her the money I would have spent on rent. Uh huh. Be free but don’t be free. In fact, when she told me the marriage was over she told me to go ahead and date, but then laid down ground rules about what I could and couldn’t do!I have mentioned nothing about the whole thing involving Kendra and the babies. As for Lexi, I am going to let her figure it out. Trust me, she will go nuts when she finds out I have a girlfriend.Am I pissed off? Nope! I am actually laughing about all this. It is so funny. They all want to control me. And it isn’t working.Hormones, here I come!!!!!!!
    Sep 07, 2006 527
  • 30 Aug 2006
    Here I am, one year later.At this time last year I was just thrown out of the house. I thought it was all over. It isn’t.I am so stiff this morning. On the one year anniversary of being thrown out I rented a van and got most of my stuff out of the house. The house I helped buy and pay for. I moved all these heavy boxes, bookcases and file cabinets alone. I still have more to get, although very little. Mostly books. Really, I could open my own library. Then, I had to literally run a mile to make sure I made the train back home. Wow. What a workout.I told her I was sorry about how things worked out, and that I am sorry for any mistakes I made. She still thinks I can be cured of who I am. Uh huh. Wait for it. I also told her I am not to blame for everything, and that she is to stop using our daughter as a weapon whenever she wants to control me. Just wait until she finds out about Lexi. She’ll have a fit! It will be great!I am doing great. Really great.Remember how they forced me to leave TW?  I didn't, did I?As Lizzie McGuire sang, "Yesterday my life was duller, now everything’s technicolor." Lexi, trust me, I haven’t watched the Disney Channel in weeks! Wait, I did watch High School Musical AGAIN on Friday.Right now I am watching a beautiful morning from my top floor apartment and so grateful to be alive. While I might have gone through hell and beyond, I also went through quite a bit that was great.Thank you for putting up with a Psycho Ninja.I am not mourning a life lost. I am celebrating a life beginning.
    638 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • Here I am, one year later.At this time last year I was just thrown out of the house. I thought it was all over. It isn’t.I am so stiff this morning. On the one year anniversary of being thrown out I rented a van and got most of my stuff out of the house. The house I helped buy and pay for. I moved all these heavy boxes, bookcases and file cabinets alone. I still have more to get, although very little. Mostly books. Really, I could open my own library. Then, I had to literally run a mile to make sure I made the train back home. Wow. What a workout.I told her I was sorry about how things worked out, and that I am sorry for any mistakes I made. She still thinks I can be cured of who I am. Uh huh. Wait for it. I also told her I am not to blame for everything, and that she is to stop using our daughter as a weapon whenever she wants to control me. Just wait until she finds out about Lexi. She’ll have a fit! It will be great!I am doing great. Really great.Remember how they forced me to leave TW?  I didn't, did I?As Lizzie McGuire sang, "Yesterday my life was duller, now everything’s technicolor." Lexi, trust me, I haven’t watched the Disney Channel in weeks! Wait, I did watch High School Musical AGAIN on Friday.Right now I am watching a beautiful morning from my top floor apartment and so grateful to be alive. While I might have gone through hell and beyond, I also went through quite a bit that was great.Thank you for putting up with a Psycho Ninja.I am not mourning a life lost. I am celebrating a life beginning.
    Aug 30, 2006 638
  • 24 Aug 2006
    Next week is a rather dubious anniversary, so be prepared for me to be a basket case. Or, worse then ever as a basket case.The tour gig is still good. I had my daughter down there a few days, and one of the captains let her drive the boat on two occasions.I started teaching a brand new course at that brand new school. On Tuesday was a reception, a meeting, and a dinner. Because of other obligations I wound up not attending the dinner. But, at the other two events, I know I was definitely an outsider, even amongst colleagues. They were either straight-laced tight-asses in suits and ties, or they dressed like their moms bought their clothes at a Sears bargain sale. There I was in my outfit that was quite non-academic (who cares!) clothes, long(ish) hair, and earrings.At the meeting the Division chair got a discussion going about communities. I put in my two cents – "What about subcultures outside the mainstream, like the transgendered community?" They all agreed with my point, like it was difficult to do.In class yesterday I made a crack about dressing up. I did bring up how one teacher at another school berated me for never wearing a tie, asking me why I never used one. My response? "Because I couldn’t find my dress."In another week or two I’ll do my blood tests for the endo. Anyhow, just preparing myself for next week. Thankfully I am working, so that will occupy my thoughts.
    543 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • Next week is a rather dubious anniversary, so be prepared for me to be a basket case. Or, worse then ever as a basket case.The tour gig is still good. I had my daughter down there a few days, and one of the captains let her drive the boat on two occasions.I started teaching a brand new course at that brand new school. On Tuesday was a reception, a meeting, and a dinner. Because of other obligations I wound up not attending the dinner. But, at the other two events, I know I was definitely an outsider, even amongst colleagues. They were either straight-laced tight-asses in suits and ties, or they dressed like their moms bought their clothes at a Sears bargain sale. There I was in my outfit that was quite non-academic (who cares!) clothes, long(ish) hair, and earrings.At the meeting the Division chair got a discussion going about communities. I put in my two cents – "What about subcultures outside the mainstream, like the transgendered community?" They all agreed with my point, like it was difficult to do.In class yesterday I made a crack about dressing up. I did bring up how one teacher at another school berated me for never wearing a tie, asking me why I never used one. My response? "Because I couldn’t find my dress."In another week or two I’ll do my blood tests for the endo. Anyhow, just preparing myself for next week. Thankfully I am working, so that will occupy my thoughts.
    Aug 24, 2006 543
  • 17 Aug 2006
    I should be sitting here depressed that I am not working at that full-time job. I’m not. Quite frankly, right now I don’t care. I find it funny that whenever a school, or a publisher, has a problem I’m the first one they call because they know I get the job done whereas their top person dropped the ball. I am tired of bailing out academia only to get shown the door once it’s my turn for the top spot. Then again, who hasn’t been there?That local college didn’t quite tell me the truth about those three classes. They left out the fact that the enrollment was down and that two of the classes will be merged with those handled by full-timers. But the good news – great news – is that I still get to do the class on the history of Illinois, something I’ve been dying to do for years. Gee, I wonder if I know anything about it. I filled out the paperwork, ordered the textbooks, and am already invited to a campus event.My Chicago history tour gig is still good. My boss snuck on the boat yesterday to evaluate my tour. I didn’t know she was there until half way through it. I apparently passed her rigorous standards. She told me I that if all my tours were like that I’m excellent. On the perverted front, we deliberately held off boarding the 2:15 tour because we had to watch a recreational boat go by loaded with a lot of hot women in skimpy bikinis.I’m coming out more and more. I am referring to myself as "Mere" even more at work, preparing them. I do like these people, so I hope it doesn’t alienate me. If it does, oh well, what can I do? Especially Captain A’Hole (as I like to call him). I told my boss what a jerk he is and she agreed. She also said I’m handling it the right way by ignoring him.Last Saturday a young Chinese girl approached me while I was taking a break from my 90 minute tour. She worked for a cultural center in Chinatown and wanted to know about sources on Chicago in order to put a program together for recent immigrants. I told her I’d be glad to help, and so she took my name, number, etc.I am also being seen more around the building, and town, en femme. The other day I had to do a quick run to the library and post office. I put my hair (such as it is) in a ponytail, applied some makeup, and went right out. I was also dressed up in the apartment, and went downstairs to do my laundry. Yes, I was seen.As I said in my last blog, Lilienne was right. I did blossom. I just didn’t realize that it happened in a way I wasn’t expecting. I’m feeling okay and am going forward with my other plans.
    584 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • I should be sitting here depressed that I am not working at that full-time job. I’m not. Quite frankly, right now I don’t care. I find it funny that whenever a school, or a publisher, has a problem I’m the first one they call because they know I get the job done whereas their top person dropped the ball. I am tired of bailing out academia only to get shown the door once it’s my turn for the top spot. Then again, who hasn’t been there?That local college didn’t quite tell me the truth about those three classes. They left out the fact that the enrollment was down and that two of the classes will be merged with those handled by full-timers. But the good news – great news – is that I still get to do the class on the history of Illinois, something I’ve been dying to do for years. Gee, I wonder if I know anything about it. I filled out the paperwork, ordered the textbooks, and am already invited to a campus event.My Chicago history tour gig is still good. My boss snuck on the boat yesterday to evaluate my tour. I didn’t know she was there until half way through it. I apparently passed her rigorous standards. She told me I that if all my tours were like that I’m excellent. On the perverted front, we deliberately held off boarding the 2:15 tour because we had to watch a recreational boat go by loaded with a lot of hot women in skimpy bikinis.I’m coming out more and more. I am referring to myself as "Mere" even more at work, preparing them. I do like these people, so I hope it doesn’t alienate me. If it does, oh well, what can I do? Especially Captain A’Hole (as I like to call him). I told my boss what a jerk he is and she agreed. She also said I’m handling it the right way by ignoring him.Last Saturday a young Chinese girl approached me while I was taking a break from my 90 minute tour. She worked for a cultural center in Chinatown and wanted to know about sources on Chicago in order to put a program together for recent immigrants. I told her I’d be glad to help, and so she took my name, number, etc.I am also being seen more around the building, and town, en femme. The other day I had to do a quick run to the library and post office. I put my hair (such as it is) in a ponytail, applied some makeup, and went right out. I was also dressed up in the apartment, and went downstairs to do my laundry. Yes, I was seen.As I said in my last blog, Lilienne was right. I did blossom. I just didn’t realize that it happened in a way I wasn’t expecting. I’m feeling okay and am going forward with my other plans.
    Aug 17, 2006 584
  • 09 Aug 2006
    The following is from an e-mail I just sent to a few of the girls here on TW:Well, girls, the worst has happened.The school pulled the spot.  As I mentioned before, getting the job was dependent upon the arrival of my official transcripts.  Mind you, when I was first hired by them back in the winter to teach part-time I filled out the forms to have those sent, and they never processed them. Now, since they didn't have my stuff by last Thursday, they had to declare the position vacant until the winter.  They said they still need my last set from my B.A. school in order for me to teach part-time again in the fall.Wait for it, people.  I ain't going back.  This was YOUR error, not mine.A local college is offering me three classes, and were willing to wait until I knew about the full-time spot before giving them away to someone else.  As soon as I knew I called them and accepted the three courses.  This school is maybe 2 miles away, so while I still have to find a way to get there, it won't be the horrendously long ride I used to take to get to Olive-Harvey way there on the city's south side.This is the second time this school has done something like this to me.  Now I'm right back to where I started.  At least I will have these other courses, and I still have the boats, so I will survive.I'm sure this will hit me later.  For now I guess I'm not too terribly surprised.  I probably won't cry until I get home tonight.  I have a little wine in the house, so maybe I'll just cry into a wine glass.MereNow, the other stuff:The thing is, with the job being reposted for the winter, I have to reapply.  That means interviewing with these goofballs AGAIN.  My ex brought up a good point - why didn't they just hire the next person in line, whose transcripts they already have?  It could be because they want me in that spot sooner or later, but they could have done something if they wanted to.  They did have copies of my transcripts, after all.  While I understand official sets are necessary for hiring, I have proven that I do indeed possess those degrees.  My therapist suggested making a slew of calls to the school to see what should be done about this.As for starting hormones, I saw the endo for the first time yesterday.  I already wrote about it in the Forums, so I won't really recount it now.  He is going to run some blood tests on me to see my "numbers," and then determine from there what to prescribe for me.  So hopefully that will move along much more smoothly.
    598 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • The following is from an e-mail I just sent to a few of the girls here on TW:Well, girls, the worst has happened.The school pulled the spot.  As I mentioned before, getting the job was dependent upon the arrival of my official transcripts.  Mind you, when I was first hired by them back in the winter to teach part-time I filled out the forms to have those sent, and they never processed them. Now, since they didn't have my stuff by last Thursday, they had to declare the position vacant until the winter.  They said they still need my last set from my B.A. school in order for me to teach part-time again in the fall.Wait for it, people.  I ain't going back.  This was YOUR error, not mine.A local college is offering me three classes, and were willing to wait until I knew about the full-time spot before giving them away to someone else.  As soon as I knew I called them and accepted the three courses.  This school is maybe 2 miles away, so while I still have to find a way to get there, it won't be the horrendously long ride I used to take to get to Olive-Harvey way there on the city's south side.This is the second time this school has done something like this to me.  Now I'm right back to where I started.  At least I will have these other courses, and I still have the boats, so I will survive.I'm sure this will hit me later.  For now I guess I'm not too terribly surprised.  I probably won't cry until I get home tonight.  I have a little wine in the house, so maybe I'll just cry into a wine glass.MereNow, the other stuff:The thing is, with the job being reposted for the winter, I have to reapply.  That means interviewing with these goofballs AGAIN.  My ex brought up a good point - why didn't they just hire the next person in line, whose transcripts they already have?  It could be because they want me in that spot sooner or later, but they could have done something if they wanted to.  They did have copies of my transcripts, after all.  While I understand official sets are necessary for hiring, I have proven that I do indeed possess those degrees.  My therapist suggested making a slew of calls to the school to see what should be done about this.As for starting hormones, I saw the endo for the first time yesterday.  I already wrote about it in the Forums, so I won't really recount it now.  He is going to run some blood tests on me to see my "numbers," and then determine from there what to prescribe for me.  So hopefully that will move along much more smoothly.
    Aug 09, 2006 598
  • 01 Aug 2006
    Remember the song from the old telly show "Great American Hero?": Look what's happened to me/I can't believe it myself/Suddenly I'm upon top of the world/Should have been somebody elseAfter years of struggle, disappointment and heartbreak, I have finally achieved one of my life's goals - The college called me yesterday and said they want to offer me the full-time tenure track position as assistant professor of history, just as soon as my official transcripts arrive.I was on the docks waiting for my 4:30 tour to leave when I got the call from the Dean.  I briefly broke into tears, but quickly composed myself.  I'll be starting in less than two weeks!  When I got back to my apartment last night I just sat there and cried.I did it.  I finally did it.Lilienne, you told me that this would be my year, the year I would blossom.  With this, and my two books, you were right.  Thank you.  You've been my cheerleader for a long time now.This is coming at a very interesting time.  Next Tuesday is my appointment with the endo.  Hopefully I'll be on hormones soon.This month is also the one year anniversary of when my nightmare began, of when I was kicked out, forced to quit Trannyweb (although I refused to stay away), struggled for a few months to find work, and faced months of verbal abuse from family and friends alike.  No matter how despondent I got, I never quit. Because I'm not a quitter.  Me and the "ex" have been making the plans for getting the divorce over with as quickly as possible.  While I do have to deal with that, I'm too busy thinking of where I'm heading from here.Now that this is all over I can truly move on with my life.  As for being en femme, I put on my lipstick in the morning - as I always do - and this guy in the apartment building elevator apparently found it quite interesting. Who cares?Thank you all for standing by me these past 12 months.  I don't know what I would have done without you.  I love you all.
    576 Posted by Meredith Newton
  • Remember the song from the old telly show "Great American Hero?": Look what's happened to me/I can't believe it myself/Suddenly I'm upon top of the world/Should have been somebody elseAfter years of struggle, disappointment and heartbreak, I have finally achieved one of my life's goals - The college called me yesterday and said they want to offer me the full-time tenure track position as assistant professor of history, just as soon as my official transcripts arrive.I was on the docks waiting for my 4:30 tour to leave when I got the call from the Dean.  I briefly broke into tears, but quickly composed myself.  I'll be starting in less than two weeks!  When I got back to my apartment last night I just sat there and cried.I did it.  I finally did it.Lilienne, you told me that this would be my year, the year I would blossom.  With this, and my two books, you were right.  Thank you.  You've been my cheerleader for a long time now.This is coming at a very interesting time.  Next Tuesday is my appointment with the endo.  Hopefully I'll be on hormones soon.This month is also the one year anniversary of when my nightmare began, of when I was kicked out, forced to quit Trannyweb (although I refused to stay away), struggled for a few months to find work, and faced months of verbal abuse from family and friends alike.  No matter how despondent I got, I never quit. Because I'm not a quitter.  Me and the "ex" have been making the plans for getting the divorce over with as quickly as possible.  While I do have to deal with that, I'm too busy thinking of where I'm heading from here.Now that this is all over I can truly move on with my life.  As for being en femme, I put on my lipstick in the morning - as I always do - and this guy in the apartment building elevator apparently found it quite interesting. Who cares?Thank you all for standing by me these past 12 months.  I don't know what I would have done without you.  I love you all.
    Aug 01, 2006 576