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Briana Purcell 's Entries

24 blogs
  • 17 Feb 2020
    Hello Ladies - Ms Briana Andromeda Purcell - the one and only Galaxy Girl here - and this is on my business card too - plus that is my real and legal name - did so last year in August - can you believe it?! Sorry have not had time to post on updates - life has been one grand and great things after another. I went out with friends 2-3 times per month last year and wore 8 different dresses, went and spent the night at a friend's home, spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with 3 different friends and their families last year, visited more restaurants than I can count, and wore a skirt, as these are my favorite attire 6 or 7 days a week for the last 2 years and counting. Not only did I change my name legally in court but not it is on every imaginable document - soc sec, driver's license ( and YES it ways I am a girl - finally ), bank account, all other electronic systems out there - ebay and such, plus you can find me on facebook as my name too.  I have host of friends from here at Gender Society and interestingly from high school - many of whom are my gal pals and we take many of these adventures I mention and all noted here are on facebook and chat it up regularly. I walk into my local grocery store and a cashier and friend calls out my name across the store, I go to the pharmacist and my prescriptions are in my name, same is true of my bank, and even a local restaurant I frequent I am quite the regular and am very well received. Further not only did I have an interview and hit the ball out of the galaxy as myself and use my published book as my resume, I am my life's passion - teaching - as a professor at a local college and teach what I love Physics and Astronomy - currently - as of this writing I am in the midst of a semester in Astronomy and loving it!!! Imagine being yourself morning noon and night, the moment you walk onto the porch and go in any direction - your name is known and people greet you as you and you go to work and you are you in the past, the present, and the future since anyone who meet you - you are you always as you you in your heat, mind, and soul. This is my life now. I cannot relate the elation, joy, and pure bliss of being - be it a sunny or rainy day - I am me and all is well. nothing is more empowering or uplifting as being whole and happy in life. Being in front of the class long ago I was not me yet and always felt off and unbalanced - now out, fully me and teaching what I love I feel the depth of my being and soul and the whole of the topics that I guide the young people into and through.  There are many new and other adventures in life ahead of course and not all things are perfect - but I come to see the nature of my being - always in motion, a dynamic force - always for good and positivity - and expressing joy. I smile all the time and will shed a few tears of joy - did so 4 times last week driving to and from my career not believing the beauty of my life. I have grown in more dimensions than I can fully relate and only use words each of which needs time over coffee for full range of explanation - I have grown, evolved, and blossomed in terms of body, mind, socially, emotionally, and spiritually to become the whole, caring, creative, intelligent, kind, beautiful and brilliant woman I am. That is the one thing I did not expect - physical changes aside as they were hoped for and  somewhat expected in all this, it is the blossoming of my whole being - the total emergence of the girl I have been all along since childhood inside along so many other personal dimensions.  I am ever at work in artistic ways - took a couple of fun glass classes and wish to do that as an art form plus learn crocheting and/or knitting, am at work on the rewrite of my book to add my name and my voice to it plus pictures finally, along with exploring my sci-fi story series long ago which secretly had me and now there are a new flourish of ideas growing in me once again, plus a bio story as well in the works. Plus being the teacher I am and crafting all sorts of ideas for the classroom. May consider other art forms too, like tiles and such. Even made a cute 'lunchbox' adorned with young-minded frivality that is cute and fun. I am incredibly far more social than I ever was decades ago, even friends I had as a child who are my gal pals now, commented as such. I thank my friends daily in my thoughts and prayers as they are the ones who helped my open all  of these new doors and explore new pathways in the last 3 years plus seeing my doctor and being on hormones and such in that time. Mind you despite the speed of these times I love the energy and flow but this was no where near my life even as little as 3 years ago. I came out a scant 8 years back and up to 3 years ago the best I could do was on occasion race out the door to the local store run in buy something and come home and not really much if anything else. Besides myself sitting on my bed in a skirt was and still is my cat who knew my secret. I will share other elements so this piece will evolve a bit - just jotting the initial frame at the time plus below are some selected photos over time as well - such as me in a dress a friend measured me for in the first time into my women's bathroom in a public place that she bought for me and I used in my court day for my name and she drove me there and such : Love you all, may your dreams become the story of truth and reality for you in your journey : Ms Briana Andromeda Purcell the one and only Galaxy Girl          
    171 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - Ms Briana Andromeda Purcell - the one and only Galaxy Girl here - and this is on my business card too - plus that is my real and legal name - did so last year in August - can you believe it?! Sorry have not had time to post on updates - life has been one grand and great things after another. I went out with friends 2-3 times per month last year and wore 8 different dresses, went and spent the night at a friend's home, spent Thanksgiving and Christmas with 3 different friends and their families last year, visited more restaurants than I can count, and wore a skirt, as these are my favorite attire 6 or 7 days a week for the last 2 years and counting. Not only did I change my name legally in court but not it is on every imaginable document - soc sec, driver's license ( and YES it ways I am a girl - finally ), bank account, all other electronic systems out there - ebay and such, plus you can find me on facebook as my name too.  I have host of friends from here at Gender Society and interestingly from high school - many of whom are my gal pals and we take many of these adventures I mention and all noted here are on facebook and chat it up regularly. I walk into my local grocery store and a cashier and friend calls out my name across the store, I go to the pharmacist and my prescriptions are in my name, same is true of my bank, and even a local restaurant I frequent I am quite the regular and am very well received. Further not only did I have an interview and hit the ball out of the galaxy as myself and use my published book as my resume, I am my life's passion - teaching - as a professor at a local college and teach what I love Physics and Astronomy - currently - as of this writing I am in the midst of a semester in Astronomy and loving it!!! Imagine being yourself morning noon and night, the moment you walk onto the porch and go in any direction - your name is known and people greet you as you and you go to work and you are you in the past, the present, and the future since anyone who meet you - you are you always as you you in your heat, mind, and soul. This is my life now. I cannot relate the elation, joy, and pure bliss of being - be it a sunny or rainy day - I am me and all is well. nothing is more empowering or uplifting as being whole and happy in life. Being in front of the class long ago I was not me yet and always felt off and unbalanced - now out, fully me and teaching what I love I feel the depth of my being and soul and the whole of the topics that I guide the young people into and through.  There are many new and other adventures in life ahead of course and not all things are perfect - but I come to see the nature of my being - always in motion, a dynamic force - always for good and positivity - and expressing joy. I smile all the time and will shed a few tears of joy - did so 4 times last week driving to and from my career not believing the beauty of my life. I have grown in more dimensions than I can fully relate and only use words each of which needs time over coffee for full range of explanation - I have grown, evolved, and blossomed in terms of body, mind, socially, emotionally, and spiritually to become the whole, caring, creative, intelligent, kind, beautiful and brilliant woman I am. That is the one thing I did not expect - physical changes aside as they were hoped for and  somewhat expected in all this, it is the blossoming of my whole being - the total emergence of the girl I have been all along since childhood inside along so many other personal dimensions.  I am ever at work in artistic ways - took a couple of fun glass classes and wish to do that as an art form plus learn crocheting and/or knitting, am at work on the rewrite of my book to add my name and my voice to it plus pictures finally, along with exploring my sci-fi story series long ago which secretly had me and now there are a new flourish of ideas growing in me once again, plus a bio story as well in the works. Plus being the teacher I am and crafting all sorts of ideas for the classroom. May consider other art forms too, like tiles and such. Even made a cute 'lunchbox' adorned with young-minded frivality that is cute and fun. I am incredibly far more social than I ever was decades ago, even friends I had as a child who are my gal pals now, commented as such. I thank my friends daily in my thoughts and prayers as they are the ones who helped my open all  of these new doors and explore new pathways in the last 3 years plus seeing my doctor and being on hormones and such in that time. Mind you despite the speed of these times I love the energy and flow but this was no where near my life even as little as 3 years ago. I came out a scant 8 years back and up to 3 years ago the best I could do was on occasion race out the door to the local store run in buy something and come home and not really much if anything else. Besides myself sitting on my bed in a skirt was and still is my cat who knew my secret. I will share other elements so this piece will evolve a bit - just jotting the initial frame at the time plus below are some selected photos over time as well - such as me in a dress a friend measured me for in the first time into my women's bathroom in a public place that she bought for me and I used in my court day for my name and she drove me there and such : Love you all, may your dreams become the story of truth and reality for you in your journey : Ms Briana Andromeda Purcell the one and only Galaxy Girl          
    Feb 17, 2020 171
  • 20 Aug 2019
    Hello Ladies - News from the one and only Galaxy Girl, aka Briana Andromeda Purcell. I have shared many new ideas on the last few blogs so if you wish scan them a bit to pick up on many new fronts and new prospects for me, but the latest news is purely cosmic in scale I must confess. Here I am at these times some months from the last entry and still the development is continuing and growing.  I have applied to now less than 20+ jobs as myself - 5 universities and as many as 4 posts in a given university, plus several libraries and a world-renowned museum to  be a hostess as well.  I have been out no less than 20+ times with friends, spent time at friend's homes and had a great salmon grilled meal. Many super restaurants with the best of friends.  Note I am me 24-7, wear skirts typically 6 out of 7 days a week ( I do have to use some cute jeans to clean up the messes in though ) and no less than 8 dresses to many of these outings. I attended to glass making classes, one with a friend for her birthday and one I went to on my own due to my enjoyment of this. I made a gorgeous flower and a galaxy ball paperweight.  Well more really cosmic news : Hold on to your hats - it is awesome : First I have been to court and the name I noted, Briana Andromeda Purcell is my real and legal name permanently in all ways, places, and things. I now have my social security card, my driver's license, and a bank account with my name on each and every one - everyone loves my new ID - cute photo.  Imagine when you first walk into the bank and fill out the deposit or withdrawal form and use your real name! That was sooo sweet. In each and every place I am indeed me. At the bank I talk often with a woman who works there, and asst manager who first asked me my name some 4 years ago and I share with her many of my firsts. Also at the grocery store is an adorable woman who shouts out my name BRIANA from across the store and we run and hug each other. I ahve been more places and did more things in one year that I cannot imagine - been to two auto places having work on the car, going to a variety of stores for many new items, and trying on clothes in various stores in the appropriate changing rooms. A friend even bought a beautiful sweater for me on one of these outings.  This is not all of it however. I have a job - I went to the interview as myself.  I am a adjunct professor - instructor of physics and astronomy at a local college near me. I singed the papers last week for tax forms, retirement et al and all in my name, of course.  I knocked out the interview - they wanted a 20 minute presentation whereby I treat the people present as students and I took it to the Moon as they say - I used my book I published, the Inquisitive Pioneer, and did two hands-on activities from it with a very engaging discussion that went on for over an hour and they were excited and loved it. I did not even realize I had been up there that long and was so happy. Never in my life as a teacher, my natural calling in my life, was I ever fully myself and in this moment I was glowing, engaged, happy, whole and just awesome. I have never been so confident and energetic ever until now.  Again it needs to be said - I, Briana,  am employed as a college teacher of physics and astronomy.  I have been to court and have my name for real and it is awesome. Thus far I am always me, on hormones for nearly two years and I see the changes and feel the changes from inside to out and in all ways. I have grown mentally, spiritually, physically, and both dimensions of inside and externally due to all of these journeys. I have the super blessing of such great friends and super times together. I must confess all growth comes from both the journey externally and one internally as well. Each is needed to weave the gorgeous tapestry that each of us are in our lives. This has been true for me.  In this time I have grown not just physically but emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. All of my friends see it and note it too. It is an incredible awakening or rebirth as my physics teacher noted - he too is on a journey of spirituality in his life and he and I often have talks for hours at a time on all sorts of soul related matters.  This fact - that transitioning is not just bringing to the surface the girl deep inside and showing off via outfits and physical form but instead is the evolution of the whole spirit of the girl that I am. I experience all things emotionally along with deep mental connections and express myself very well.  My gal pals are great emotional bonds with all sorts of conversations and we are supportive of each other in many ways. My friends have literally I feel been life savers for me. I see me emerging, blossoming, and becoming in large part due to their presence. Coming out to oneself is the first most critical day in a transgender woman's life, but then the next big day is coming out to and finding a core True Tribe, as we call ourselves, set of gal pals that effects one another and allows oneself to grow and glow I feel and this is my case. Being in the presence of such good souls has allowed me to blossom and this is awesome.  There is no greater feeling of wholeness, confidence, happiness, depth, and energy of just pure joy than being your whole self at all times in all ways and being acknowledged and accepted by such warm, caring, friends. As I noted to them - I was a dormant seed and now am in a blooming mode through them.  This awakening and awareness has prompted me to look not just the past, not just the present, but the future. Seeking employment is clearly in that camp, but it is much more than that. I am looking in to doing artwork in glass and some other abstract pieces that extend from my being, my feelings, and creativity that is growing too. Besides the glass classes I am looking into knitting an crocheting too for art projects and the like. Also I am still re-developing my previously written books with my voice in it moreover ( since they were published as the guy I had to pretend to be for so long ) and am in the process of crafting a story of my transitioning while including in it composites of transgenders and the issues we face in our journeys as I have witnessed them or brushed up against them too. I began a rough outline of a fictional account a few years back and decided to reopen that file - and guess what - speaking from my heart, my soul - there is my voice - I wrote a couple of pages in minutes without even batting an eye. This is what I am referring to in the full evolution I am encountering and embracing in my womanhood and becoming the woman I am. I can speak from my heart and soul.  I am even looking to being a spokeswoman for young people in terms of positive messages and bringing along being transgender and seeking to build bridges. This along with my art projects, teaching prospects in colleges, and the like. I have allowed my feelings and mind to seek to be who I can be so as to be the positive energy I have inside and can share with others.  Always embracing great health, hope, harmony, and happiness that I often wish others. Always living as I have seen myself, the woman I am, Briana Andromeda Purcell, the Galaxy Girl all my life.  There comes a day when you are just yourself. You feel beautifully whole. I am in these times in my life. I have been out in one year more times doing more things and have more friends than I ever had in all my life before all of this combined.  I am always myself all the time. I am Briana Andromeda Purcell the one and only Galaxy Girl And life is awesome.  Thank you for your time and read on this. I will have many more things in the future as time progresses. Every day has its own unique challenges, energies, but I realize my core is that of a happy girl who makes the universe a bright and warm place as it is in me.  here are some pictures too of the whole set of adventures :  
    322 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - News from the one and only Galaxy Girl, aka Briana Andromeda Purcell. I have shared many new ideas on the last few blogs so if you wish scan them a bit to pick up on many new fronts and new prospects for me, but the latest news is purely cosmic in scale I must confess. Here I am at these times some months from the last entry and still the development is continuing and growing.  I have applied to now less than 20+ jobs as myself - 5 universities and as many as 4 posts in a given university, plus several libraries and a world-renowned museum to  be a hostess as well.  I have been out no less than 20+ times with friends, spent time at friend's homes and had a great salmon grilled meal. Many super restaurants with the best of friends.  Note I am me 24-7, wear skirts typically 6 out of 7 days a week ( I do have to use some cute jeans to clean up the messes in though ) and no less than 8 dresses to many of these outings. I attended to glass making classes, one with a friend for her birthday and one I went to on my own due to my enjoyment of this. I made a gorgeous flower and a galaxy ball paperweight.  Well more really cosmic news : Hold on to your hats - it is awesome : First I have been to court and the name I noted, Briana Andromeda Purcell is my real and legal name permanently in all ways, places, and things. I now have my social security card, my driver's license, and a bank account with my name on each and every one - everyone loves my new ID - cute photo.  Imagine when you first walk into the bank and fill out the deposit or withdrawal form and use your real name! That was sooo sweet. In each and every place I am indeed me. At the bank I talk often with a woman who works there, and asst manager who first asked me my name some 4 years ago and I share with her many of my firsts. Also at the grocery store is an adorable woman who shouts out my name BRIANA from across the store and we run and hug each other. I ahve been more places and did more things in one year that I cannot imagine - been to two auto places having work on the car, going to a variety of stores for many new items, and trying on clothes in various stores in the appropriate changing rooms. A friend even bought a beautiful sweater for me on one of these outings.  This is not all of it however. I have a job - I went to the interview as myself.  I am a adjunct professor - instructor of physics and astronomy at a local college near me. I singed the papers last week for tax forms, retirement et al and all in my name, of course.  I knocked out the interview - they wanted a 20 minute presentation whereby I treat the people present as students and I took it to the Moon as they say - I used my book I published, the Inquisitive Pioneer, and did two hands-on activities from it with a very engaging discussion that went on for over an hour and they were excited and loved it. I did not even realize I had been up there that long and was so happy. Never in my life as a teacher, my natural calling in my life, was I ever fully myself and in this moment I was glowing, engaged, happy, whole and just awesome. I have never been so confident and energetic ever until now.  Again it needs to be said - I, Briana,  am employed as a college teacher of physics and astronomy.  I have been to court and have my name for real and it is awesome. Thus far I am always me, on hormones for nearly two years and I see the changes and feel the changes from inside to out and in all ways. I have grown mentally, spiritually, physically, and both dimensions of inside and externally due to all of these journeys. I have the super blessing of such great friends and super times together. I must confess all growth comes from both the journey externally and one internally as well. Each is needed to weave the gorgeous tapestry that each of us are in our lives. This has been true for me.  In this time I have grown not just physically but emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. All of my friends see it and note it too. It is an incredible awakening or rebirth as my physics teacher noted - he too is on a journey of spirituality in his life and he and I often have talks for hours at a time on all sorts of soul related matters.  This fact - that transitioning is not just bringing to the surface the girl deep inside and showing off via outfits and physical form but instead is the evolution of the whole spirit of the girl that I am. I experience all things emotionally along with deep mental connections and express myself very well.  My gal pals are great emotional bonds with all sorts of conversations and we are supportive of each other in many ways. My friends have literally I feel been life savers for me. I see me emerging, blossoming, and becoming in large part due to their presence. Coming out to oneself is the first most critical day in a transgender woman's life, but then the next big day is coming out to and finding a core True Tribe, as we call ourselves, set of gal pals that effects one another and allows oneself to grow and glow I feel and this is my case. Being in the presence of such good souls has allowed me to blossom and this is awesome.  There is no greater feeling of wholeness, confidence, happiness, depth, and energy of just pure joy than being your whole self at all times in all ways and being acknowledged and accepted by such warm, caring, friends. As I noted to them - I was a dormant seed and now am in a blooming mode through them.  This awakening and awareness has prompted me to look not just the past, not just the present, but the future. Seeking employment is clearly in that camp, but it is much more than that. I am looking in to doing artwork in glass and some other abstract pieces that extend from my being, my feelings, and creativity that is growing too. Besides the glass classes I am looking into knitting an crocheting too for art projects and the like. Also I am still re-developing my previously written books with my voice in it moreover ( since they were published as the guy I had to pretend to be for so long ) and am in the process of crafting a story of my transitioning while including in it composites of transgenders and the issues we face in our journeys as I have witnessed them or brushed up against them too. I began a rough outline of a fictional account a few years back and decided to reopen that file - and guess what - speaking from my heart, my soul - there is my voice - I wrote a couple of pages in minutes without even batting an eye. This is what I am referring to in the full evolution I am encountering and embracing in my womanhood and becoming the woman I am. I can speak from my heart and soul.  I am even looking to being a spokeswoman for young people in terms of positive messages and bringing along being transgender and seeking to build bridges. This along with my art projects, teaching prospects in colleges, and the like. I have allowed my feelings and mind to seek to be who I can be so as to be the positive energy I have inside and can share with others.  Always embracing great health, hope, harmony, and happiness that I often wish others. Always living as I have seen myself, the woman I am, Briana Andromeda Purcell, the Galaxy Girl all my life.  There comes a day when you are just yourself. You feel beautifully whole. I am in these times in my life. I have been out in one year more times doing more things and have more friends than I ever had in all my life before all of this combined.  I am always myself all the time. I am Briana Andromeda Purcell the one and only Galaxy Girl And life is awesome.  Thank you for your time and read on this. I will have many more things in the future as time progresses. Every day has its own unique challenges, energies, but I realize my core is that of a happy girl who makes the universe a bright and warm place as it is in me.  here are some pictures too of the whole set of adventures :  
    Aug 20, 2019 322
  • 23 May 2019
    Hello Ladies - Though 2109 is only in May I decided to stop in and give an important update and evolution of the life and times of the Galaxy Girl - who is really Briana Andromeda Purcell - more on that as we read - and thank you for stopping by for a read. A friend of mine noted at the start of the year when we were all giving each other well wishes for the New Year this year that I would have an awesome year. I would love to wish so, am ever the optimist, yet there is always a taint of realistic skepticism in there too. Nevertheless she was spot on and this year is thus far far more than I could have even imagined. First, from last May when I first revealed myself to a dozen or so people from high school some 30+ years after high school and had an overwhelmingly positive response - and in time to this year the numbers of friends on facebook has grown to nearly 50 with nearly 20 from here at Gender Society even. One of my gal pals here noted I was very adverse to facebook - I responded - it took both me and the people I met to open that door and all things went better than imagined.  I see friends several times each month at restaurants, we go shopping, and I have even had the great pleasure to spending the day at some of my friends homes - making meals, talking all day, going on walks, and having meals with the whole of the family. I share a soup with one friend another friend and I created at her house - it is awesome - chicken/lentil/rice soup. My friends  and I have taken walks on nature trails and the like as well.  I felt that the development of my body was very good at first last year, then it seemed to slow and seemed a bit sad for me. I contacted my doctor who consulted with others as well and all agreed actually things are on track. Once again women, like my aforementioned friends in the prior paragraphs, were spot on. Always go with the gal instinct I find not just from them, but from me as well - it is certainly growing deeply ( more on this later ). Needless to say within days of that doctor talk suddenly my body has accelerated and am curvier, very feminine in form from head to toe beyond what I could imagine. One gal pal says she envies my arms - they are perfect she noted. This growth and change includes the breasts as would be expected - wow! The hormones ( now nearing 2 years in the next few months ). I have been out in no less than 7 different dresses - my gal pals are wowed by this. I had so many hidden treasures from the past I never had nerve to wear years ago. And with this emerging body - the feeling is so uplifting, satisfying - I dare even call myself beautiful - and know full well it extends to the whole of my being to my core - to the girl I have always been.  I spend each and every day as a woman with no exception. My common daily attire is actually a skirt. I have worn a skirt on average nearly 6 out of every 7 days since August of last year - come rain or shine. At my  bank, the store I regularly shop at there are clerks and managers who call out 'Hi Briana'. I have been noted as female by each and every person I encounter with no exception - name, pronouns, and all. At the regular restaurant my gal pals, my physics teacher, and I visit often we are well known there and have our waiter Bill always - he is the kindest and coolest - often takes the group photos for us so I can post them. I have been to have my tires changes, my oil changed, a muffler put on ( 3 different places ), going to florist, hardware stores, and more and more. It is an every day, every place, every situation where I am me. In this time I have grown not just physically but emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. All of my friends see it and note it too. It is an incredible awakening or rebirth as my physics teacher noted - he too is on a journey of spirituality in his life and he and I often have talks for hours at a time on all sorts of soul related matters.  This fact - that transitioning is not just bringing to the surface the girl deep inside and showing off via outfits and physical form but instead is the evolution of the whole spirit of the girl that I am. I experience all things emotionally along with deep mental connections and express myself very well.  My gal pals are great emotional bounds with all sorts of conversations and we are supportive of each other in many ways. My friends have literally I feel been life savers for me. I see me emerging, blossoming, and becoming in large part due to their presence. Coming out to oneself is the first most critical day in a transgender woman's life, but then the next big day is coming out to and finding a core True Tribe, as we call ourselves, set of gal pals that effects one another and allows oneself to grow and glow I feel and this is my case. Being in the presence of such good souls has allowed me to blossom and this is awesome.  As I noted previously I am even seeking employment where I apply with my name, Briana. This is still an ongoing quest - there are a number of open positions being evaluated with this writing. I have applied to no less than 5 universities and as many as a dozen positions as well. One of my closest friends for decades of time, a PhD himself even penned a letter of recommendation for me to his alma mater - I was in tears. ( I find cute kittens, thinking about friends, and the like brings on these crying episodes regularly ).  This has led me to finally standing full and strong and with the help of my physics teacher - we have undertaken a journey whereby I will be Briana Andromeda Purcell now and forever more in name legally. I just mailed today the official paperwork after applying to the necessary court system and being fingerprinted too. Still more steps to go, but I am me always. There is no greater feeling of wholeness, confidence, happiness, depth, and energy of just pure joy than being your whole self at all times in all ways and being acknowledged and accepted by such warm, caring, friends. As I noted to them - I was a dormant seed and now am in a blooming mode through them.  This awakening and awareness has prompted me to look not just the past, not just the present, but the future. Seeking employment is clearly in that camp, but it is much more than that. I am looking in to doing artwork in glass and some other abstract pieces that extend from my being, my feelings, and creativity that is growing too. Next month I plan to attend a glass class to look into this with one of my gal pals. I am looking into knitting an crocheting too for art projects and the like. Also I am re-developing my previously written books with my voice in it moreover ( since they were published as the guy I had to pretend to be for so long ) and am in the process of crafting a story of my transitioning while including in it composites of transgenders and the issues we face in our journeys as I have witnessed them or brushed up against them too. I began a rough outline of a fictional account a few years back and decided to reopen that file - and guess what - speaking from my heart, my soul - there is my voice - I wrote a couple of pages in minutes without even batting an eye. This is what I am referring to in the full evolution I am encountering and embracing in my womanhood and becoming the woman I am. I can speak from my heart and soul.  I am even looking to being a spokeswoman for young people in terms of positive messages and bringing along being transgender and seeking to build bridges. This along with my art projects, teaching prospects in colleges, and the like. I have allowed my feelings and mind to seek to be who I can be so as to be the positive energy I have inside and can share with others.  Always embracing great health, hope, harmony, and happiness that I often wish others. Always living as I have seen myself, the woman I am, Briana Andromeda Purcell, the Galaxy Girl all my life.  Thank you for the time in reading this. Thank you Gender Society which I recommend often to others as I encounter them due to your support and the great people here that gave me the initial confidence I needed so long ago and has helped me arrive here and move ever forward. All the best to each of you in your journey. Note there are days I feel sad, blue, and there are some bumps in the road hither and tither but at the core I am always myself and you know what? That is all I need and the knowledge that the sun comes up again tomorrow. In the long run all the good will outweigh the bad because I only radiate positive vibes all the time.  I find myself in a state of happy self all the time - fully being the girl, the Galaxy Girl at that, has been the single most important thing in all of my life. I wish for each of you joy, wholeness, good caring friends and love in your journey. I have found this and so much more thus far and will write more as the journey continues. I have been very blessed.  I feel these photos show just how much radiant joy there is inside and it beams out to the whole of the world, even galaxy ( nickname teehee ), if not the cosmos as well. They are taken by friends - no better picture than that I feel.  Love, Briana Andromeda Purcell - the one and only Galaxy Girl - always and evermore  
    295 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - Though 2109 is only in May I decided to stop in and give an important update and evolution of the life and times of the Galaxy Girl - who is really Briana Andromeda Purcell - more on that as we read - and thank you for stopping by for a read. A friend of mine noted at the start of the year when we were all giving each other well wishes for the New Year this year that I would have an awesome year. I would love to wish so, am ever the optimist, yet there is always a taint of realistic skepticism in there too. Nevertheless she was spot on and this year is thus far far more than I could have even imagined. First, from last May when I first revealed myself to a dozen or so people from high school some 30+ years after high school and had an overwhelmingly positive response - and in time to this year the numbers of friends on facebook has grown to nearly 50 with nearly 20 from here at Gender Society even. One of my gal pals here noted I was very adverse to facebook - I responded - it took both me and the people I met to open that door and all things went better than imagined.  I see friends several times each month at restaurants, we go shopping, and I have even had the great pleasure to spending the day at some of my friends homes - making meals, talking all day, going on walks, and having meals with the whole of the family. I share a soup with one friend another friend and I created at her house - it is awesome - chicken/lentil/rice soup. My friends  and I have taken walks on nature trails and the like as well.  I felt that the development of my body was very good at first last year, then it seemed to slow and seemed a bit sad for me. I contacted my doctor who consulted with others as well and all agreed actually things are on track. Once again women, like my aforementioned friends in the prior paragraphs, were spot on. Always go with the gal instinct I find not just from them, but from me as well - it is certainly growing deeply ( more on this later ). Needless to say within days of that doctor talk suddenly my body has accelerated and am curvier, very feminine in form from head to toe beyond what I could imagine. One gal pal says she envies my arms - they are perfect she noted. This growth and change includes the breasts as would be expected - wow! The hormones ( now nearing 2 years in the next few months ). I have been out in no less than 7 different dresses - my gal pals are wowed by this. I had so many hidden treasures from the past I never had nerve to wear years ago. And with this emerging body - the feeling is so uplifting, satisfying - I dare even call myself beautiful - and know full well it extends to the whole of my being to my core - to the girl I have always been.  I spend each and every day as a woman with no exception. My common daily attire is actually a skirt. I have worn a skirt on average nearly 6 out of every 7 days since August of last year - come rain or shine. At my  bank, the store I regularly shop at there are clerks and managers who call out 'Hi Briana'. I have been noted as female by each and every person I encounter with no exception - name, pronouns, and all. At the regular restaurant my gal pals, my physics teacher, and I visit often we are well known there and have our waiter Bill always - he is the kindest and coolest - often takes the group photos for us so I can post them. I have been to have my tires changes, my oil changed, a muffler put on ( 3 different places ), going to florist, hardware stores, and more and more. It is an every day, every place, every situation where I am me. In this time I have grown not just physically but emotionally, mentally, even spiritually. All of my friends see it and note it too. It is an incredible awakening or rebirth as my physics teacher noted - he too is on a journey of spirituality in his life and he and I often have talks for hours at a time on all sorts of soul related matters.  This fact - that transitioning is not just bringing to the surface the girl deep inside and showing off via outfits and physical form but instead is the evolution of the whole spirit of the girl that I am. I experience all things emotionally along with deep mental connections and express myself very well.  My gal pals are great emotional bounds with all sorts of conversations and we are supportive of each other in many ways. My friends have literally I feel been life savers for me. I see me emerging, blossoming, and becoming in large part due to their presence. Coming out to oneself is the first most critical day in a transgender woman's life, but then the next big day is coming out to and finding a core True Tribe, as we call ourselves, set of gal pals that effects one another and allows oneself to grow and glow I feel and this is my case. Being in the presence of such good souls has allowed me to blossom and this is awesome.  As I noted previously I am even seeking employment where I apply with my name, Briana. This is still an ongoing quest - there are a number of open positions being evaluated with this writing. I have applied to no less than 5 universities and as many as a dozen positions as well. One of my closest friends for decades of time, a PhD himself even penned a letter of recommendation for me to his alma mater - I was in tears. ( I find cute kittens, thinking about friends, and the like brings on these crying episodes regularly ).  This has led me to finally standing full and strong and with the help of my physics teacher - we have undertaken a journey whereby I will be Briana Andromeda Purcell now and forever more in name legally. I just mailed today the official paperwork after applying to the necessary court system and being fingerprinted too. Still more steps to go, but I am me always. There is no greater feeling of wholeness, confidence, happiness, depth, and energy of just pure joy than being your whole self at all times in all ways and being acknowledged and accepted by such warm, caring, friends. As I noted to them - I was a dormant seed and now am in a blooming mode through them.  This awakening and awareness has prompted me to look not just the past, not just the present, but the future. Seeking employment is clearly in that camp, but it is much more than that. I am looking in to doing artwork in glass and some other abstract pieces that extend from my being, my feelings, and creativity that is growing too. Next month I plan to attend a glass class to look into this with one of my gal pals. I am looking into knitting an crocheting too for art projects and the like. Also I am re-developing my previously written books with my voice in it moreover ( since they were published as the guy I had to pretend to be for so long ) and am in the process of crafting a story of my transitioning while including in it composites of transgenders and the issues we face in our journeys as I have witnessed them or brushed up against them too. I began a rough outline of a fictional account a few years back and decided to reopen that file - and guess what - speaking from my heart, my soul - there is my voice - I wrote a couple of pages in minutes without even batting an eye. This is what I am referring to in the full evolution I am encountering and embracing in my womanhood and becoming the woman I am. I can speak from my heart and soul.  I am even looking to being a spokeswoman for young people in terms of positive messages and bringing along being transgender and seeking to build bridges. This along with my art projects, teaching prospects in colleges, and the like. I have allowed my feelings and mind to seek to be who I can be so as to be the positive energy I have inside and can share with others.  Always embracing great health, hope, harmony, and happiness that I often wish others. Always living as I have seen myself, the woman I am, Briana Andromeda Purcell, the Galaxy Girl all my life.  Thank you for the time in reading this. Thank you Gender Society which I recommend often to others as I encounter them due to your support and the great people here that gave me the initial confidence I needed so long ago and has helped me arrive here and move ever forward. All the best to each of you in your journey. Note there are days I feel sad, blue, and there are some bumps in the road hither and tither but at the core I am always myself and you know what? That is all I need and the knowledge that the sun comes up again tomorrow. In the long run all the good will outweigh the bad because I only radiate positive vibes all the time.  I find myself in a state of happy self all the time - fully being the girl, the Galaxy Girl at that, has been the single most important thing in all of my life. I wish for each of you joy, wholeness, good caring friends and love in your journey. I have found this and so much more thus far and will write more as the journey continues. I have been very blessed.  I feel these photos show just how much radiant joy there is inside and it beams out to the whole of the world, even galaxy ( nickname teehee ), if not the cosmos as well. They are taken by friends - no better picture than that I feel.  Love, Briana Andromeda Purcell - the one and only Galaxy Girl - always and evermore  
    May 23, 2019 295
  • 24 Jan 2019
    Hello Ladies - Galaxy Girl's annual post to wrap up 2018 and look ahead to 2019 - wow does time go by and Super wow, what a year 2018 was. I do not even know where to begin - At the start of 2018 I had one friend on facebook, a dear life-long friend who I did not have the nerve to tell my secret to. I had just told my doctor and therapist in 2017 and was now on hormones for 4 months at the start of that year - and things were certainly a changin' as it is said. More than physical it was emotional, even philosophical - I somehow had gained enormous confidence in myself and was quite out daily - nails were done, only women's clothes daily - even when encountering my parents ( that tale requires its own blog - it's weird ). I had gone to bed in Dec of 2017 with a single prayer - crying i asked for just one friend. Due to circumstances that science and probability cannot explain I stumbled across another tgirl and would you believe - she is in my graduating class and lived 3 blocks from me growing up! With now 2 friends on facebook and 1 who knows and 1 who does not, suddenly - before revealing myself a dozen or so high school friends requested friendship - I hesitantly said yes telling myself I want them to see my published books and maybe I can sell some. Deep down I knew this to be a lie. In my mind's eye I could see a table of a dozen of us there and only 2 know my secret - I couldn't deal with that and hated the lie - so best to do - read my last blog is it he letter I posted with pictures and the world has never been the same.  Friends have been enormously supportive, communicative, and we interact often - I even see my high school physics teacher at one or more restaurants monthly with conversations that last for hours on every topic imaginable - he is deeply caring, philosophical, intelligent and has the soul of a saint. My other friends have many similar tales of restaurants and such - this is a big thing to me - I'm totally out and they are there with me - great talks, hugs, conversations of jobs, kids, homes, pets, health, hopes and fears, and all other things too. One friend is a the dearest - she not only wanted to get together, she then asks 'so when is the coming out party' - which we organized at my parents house - can you believe it - my father even took pictures of me with my gal pals which we are the group that sees each other often. We went to restaurants, shopping, even have a cookathon at one of my friend's homes - note I have done of these things ever - I have not been to a restaurant in over 10 years for many reasons for example. My really close friend even bought me a dress ( after measuring me in a bathroom at one of our restaurant outings - teehee ). These friends have helped me mentally, emotionally, motivationally, and energy-wise beyond my imagination in more ways than I can even tell all of you here. My sister in law even whispered in my ear on Christmas Day - I have always wanted a sister - can you believe it??!! The year of 2018 I fully to my soul, my core, and my whole being I became and am Briana - the girl I have always been since age 5 and struggled with for over 40 years from that time until I came out to myself in 2012 and  began the progression to where I am today and ever moving forward. Last year was the quantum leap that solidified my whole being.  Now at the start of 2019 - Looking to a job - I have even applied to nearly 10 posted positions at 4 universities and guess what - as myself - Briana no less!! I have been and am on hormones for 1.3 years as of this writing and it certainly shows - the early photos long ago and now - I smile from ear to ear with sheer delight at all of the major and even minor changes - plus the overall total balance of my being - the serenity, harmony, overall sense of happiness and well-being that is through my whole person - I have no negative element in me at all - it is awesome. I have a number of friends from here on facebook - if you like - look me up and ask - that would be really cool.  This year has not only a job hunt and believe me success in the future but then on to other things - my therapist and another one for my letters for the operation and electrolysis and all things. Always reaching for the woman I am and living as the woman I am each and every moment of the day and in all years.  Always embracing great health, hope, harmony, and happiness that I often wish others. Always living as I have seen myself, the woman I am, Briana Purcell, the Galaxy Girl all my life.  Thank you for the time in reading this. Thank you Gender Society which I recommend often to others as I encounter them due to your support and the great people here that gave me the initial confidence I needed so long ago and has helped me arrive here and move ever forward. All the best to each of you in your journey. Note there are days I feel sad, blue, and there are some bumps in the road hither and tither but at the core I am always myself and you know what? That is all I need and the knowledge that the sun comes up again tomorrow. In the long run all the good will outweigh the bad because I only radiate positive vibes all the time.  I find myself in a state of happy self all the time - fully being the girl, the Galaxy Girl at that, has been the single most important thing in all of my life. Hugs, Briana Purcell : )
    360 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - Galaxy Girl's annual post to wrap up 2018 and look ahead to 2019 - wow does time go by and Super wow, what a year 2018 was. I do not even know where to begin - At the start of 2018 I had one friend on facebook, a dear life-long friend who I did not have the nerve to tell my secret to. I had just told my doctor and therapist in 2017 and was now on hormones for 4 months at the start of that year - and things were certainly a changin' as it is said. More than physical it was emotional, even philosophical - I somehow had gained enormous confidence in myself and was quite out daily - nails were done, only women's clothes daily - even when encountering my parents ( that tale requires its own blog - it's weird ). I had gone to bed in Dec of 2017 with a single prayer - crying i asked for just one friend. Due to circumstances that science and probability cannot explain I stumbled across another tgirl and would you believe - she is in my graduating class and lived 3 blocks from me growing up! With now 2 friends on facebook and 1 who knows and 1 who does not, suddenly - before revealing myself a dozen or so high school friends requested friendship - I hesitantly said yes telling myself I want them to see my published books and maybe I can sell some. Deep down I knew this to be a lie. In my mind's eye I could see a table of a dozen of us there and only 2 know my secret - I couldn't deal with that and hated the lie - so best to do - read my last blog is it he letter I posted with pictures and the world has never been the same.  Friends have been enormously supportive, communicative, and we interact often - I even see my high school physics teacher at one or more restaurants monthly with conversations that last for hours on every topic imaginable - he is deeply caring, philosophical, intelligent and has the soul of a saint. My other friends have many similar tales of restaurants and such - this is a big thing to me - I'm totally out and they are there with me - great talks, hugs, conversations of jobs, kids, homes, pets, health, hopes and fears, and all other things too. One friend is a the dearest - she not only wanted to get together, she then asks 'so when is the coming out party' - which we organized at my parents house - can you believe it - my father even took pictures of me with my gal pals which we are the group that sees each other often. We went to restaurants, shopping, even have a cookathon at one of my friend's homes - note I have done of these things ever - I have not been to a restaurant in over 10 years for many reasons for example. My really close friend even bought me a dress ( after measuring me in a bathroom at one of our restaurant outings - teehee ). These friends have helped me mentally, emotionally, motivationally, and energy-wise beyond my imagination in more ways than I can even tell all of you here. My sister in law even whispered in my ear on Christmas Day - I have always wanted a sister - can you believe it??!! The year of 2018 I fully to my soul, my core, and my whole being I became and am Briana - the girl I have always been since age 5 and struggled with for over 40 years from that time until I came out to myself in 2012 and  began the progression to where I am today and ever moving forward. Last year was the quantum leap that solidified my whole being.  Now at the start of 2019 - Looking to a job - I have even applied to nearly 10 posted positions at 4 universities and guess what - as myself - Briana no less!! I have been and am on hormones for 1.3 years as of this writing and it certainly shows - the early photos long ago and now - I smile from ear to ear with sheer delight at all of the major and even minor changes - plus the overall total balance of my being - the serenity, harmony, overall sense of happiness and well-being that is through my whole person - I have no negative element in me at all - it is awesome. I have a number of friends from here on facebook - if you like - look me up and ask - that would be really cool.  This year has not only a job hunt and believe me success in the future but then on to other things - my therapist and another one for my letters for the operation and electrolysis and all things. Always reaching for the woman I am and living as the woman I am each and every moment of the day and in all years.  Always embracing great health, hope, harmony, and happiness that I often wish others. Always living as I have seen myself, the woman I am, Briana Purcell, the Galaxy Girl all my life.  Thank you for the time in reading this. Thank you Gender Society which I recommend often to others as I encounter them due to your support and the great people here that gave me the initial confidence I needed so long ago and has helped me arrive here and move ever forward. All the best to each of you in your journey. Note there are days I feel sad, blue, and there are some bumps in the road hither and tither but at the core I am always myself and you know what? That is all I need and the knowledge that the sun comes up again tomorrow. In the long run all the good will outweigh the bad because I only radiate positive vibes all the time.  I find myself in a state of happy self all the time - fully being the girl, the Galaxy Girl at that, has been the single most important thing in all of my life. Hugs, Briana Purcell : )
    Jan 24, 2019 360
  • 29 May 2018
    Hello Ladies - This is the most monumental post I have ever had! I came out in a big way - I posted the following post on my facebook, which has been under my birth name as it had to for many complicated reasons ( and probably won't be for much longer I suspect ).  Nevertheless, here it is : I’ll begin with Hello. This is a conversation I have reflected on for the past 5 years. It is about a secret I have held for more than 40 years prior to that time – even longer than I have known all of you and even before I lived here where we went to school together. I suspect many of us have a side to ourselves that is relatively secret, private, et al. I am fortunate in one respect I have only one thing in my ‘closet’ per se ( which I have called the bubble for more years than I can count ).Somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10 I made a private vow over this secret, the rule, as I called it – ‘never speak of this, never write of this, ever’. It held fast for nearly 40 years.On that day, when I came out, it was like any other but many of the external pressures were non-existent in my life – I only had me to look at in the mirror for the first time. I will reintroduce myself so as to avoid any more inquisitive looks or boredom – honestly I do drag on a bit.Hello, may name is Briana Purcell. I am a transgender woman. I have seen myself as a girl since the age of 5. It is something I denied, lied, and ran from for decades. It was easy actually. In life we have only two critical questions to contemplate and act on : 1) Who am I? and 2) What do I do? I chose to mostly focus on question 2 for the bulk of my life. All of you in thinking on me might think of these things : She is a bike rider, academic, science geek, diabetic, writer, et al – all things I do – but I would avoid the question of how I see myself, the who am I part of it. I thought very long on this moment – do I say something or do as I have always imagined – one day move away to somewhere where I walk in my door as me and just measure time from that moment on? By pure chance I find myself at this moment – where I have a handful of facebook friends and even after I came out to one among you in an emotional search I see I have a choice to make. Let things go as they are, ie pretend, or allow you to see and know me, decide for yourself am I a friend you wish to have, and move on in time from there. Interestingly facebook has presented me with one of the considerations I have had – say for example there is a class reunion – in the last 20 years I have had no interest in showing up due mostly to this battle and now that I am just me, I thought about it – but have terrible fear. Independent of all things I realized I will always be me, Briana, regardless of who I meet, know, the things I do, and the places I go. Never in my life have I felt as balanced, whole, fully happy, and empowered. Some of the first words I spoke when I broke the rule standing in from of the mirror 5 years ago in a summer dress were these : ‘so this is how it is, this is who I am, … it’s okay…I’m okay’. In a single bat of an eye a wave of energy passed through my body and I felt electric and alive and elevated. It felt as if a large cement weight lifted off of me. If someone were to describe such things to me in the past, before this, I would just nod and say ‘sure, sure, understand’ when in truth I had never had such a feeling. It was easy trying to be what I do – seeing myself as arrogantly smart and not just being myself – a smart girl who can easily admit I most certainly do not know everything. In fact, believe it or not, when reflecting on my battles through the years with myself – nearly caught wearing this or that and the like, for the first time in my life I could laugh at myself. Things are moving along and quite nice in my part of the universe at present, more or less. I see doctors and the like and so far all is good. I still am looking for work, though there seems some barriers on that front – suggestions are welcomed, I have the books ( which clearly have at least one more editorial revision to make, namely author name ), and I have a deep-seated wish to have a few gal pal friends and so on.I could drone on with a million memories, events et al, but maybe I’ll write a tell all book one day ( lol ).Recognize I am still on the earliest of steps of this – there are those who have little to no information on this and must be kept that way due to life’s complications – unfortunately theirs and not mine. So I ask some discretion in your ever sharing of this. Thank you for listening ( ie reading ) and spending some time. I am glad to have come back across all of you. Note I may change my name on fb and the like too, this is all quite new to me - so some nervousness. thanksBriana : )     Note the inclusion of photos and all. The reaction has been priceless - I have been crying on and off through the day. Hormones can be a bit pushy. I had the oddity of coming across and being asked by a dozen or so high school friends - only one who knows - until now, at least. It was like going to a class reunion.  I will add to this as needed. Wow, wow, wow. All the best to everyone here.  Take Care hugs, Briana Purcell - the Galaxy Girl!!  
    521 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - This is the most monumental post I have ever had! I came out in a big way - I posted the following post on my facebook, which has been under my birth name as it had to for many complicated reasons ( and probably won't be for much longer I suspect ).  Nevertheless, here it is : I’ll begin with Hello. This is a conversation I have reflected on for the past 5 years. It is about a secret I have held for more than 40 years prior to that time – even longer than I have known all of you and even before I lived here where we went to school together. I suspect many of us have a side to ourselves that is relatively secret, private, et al. I am fortunate in one respect I have only one thing in my ‘closet’ per se ( which I have called the bubble for more years than I can count ).Somewhere between the ages of 7 and 10 I made a private vow over this secret, the rule, as I called it – ‘never speak of this, never write of this, ever’. It held fast for nearly 40 years.On that day, when I came out, it was like any other but many of the external pressures were non-existent in my life – I only had me to look at in the mirror for the first time. I will reintroduce myself so as to avoid any more inquisitive looks or boredom – honestly I do drag on a bit.Hello, may name is Briana Purcell. I am a transgender woman. I have seen myself as a girl since the age of 5. It is something I denied, lied, and ran from for decades. It was easy actually. In life we have only two critical questions to contemplate and act on : 1) Who am I? and 2) What do I do? I chose to mostly focus on question 2 for the bulk of my life. All of you in thinking on me might think of these things : She is a bike rider, academic, science geek, diabetic, writer, et al – all things I do – but I would avoid the question of how I see myself, the who am I part of it. I thought very long on this moment – do I say something or do as I have always imagined – one day move away to somewhere where I walk in my door as me and just measure time from that moment on? By pure chance I find myself at this moment – where I have a handful of facebook friends and even after I came out to one among you in an emotional search I see I have a choice to make. Let things go as they are, ie pretend, or allow you to see and know me, decide for yourself am I a friend you wish to have, and move on in time from there. Interestingly facebook has presented me with one of the considerations I have had – say for example there is a class reunion – in the last 20 years I have had no interest in showing up due mostly to this battle and now that I am just me, I thought about it – but have terrible fear. Independent of all things I realized I will always be me, Briana, regardless of who I meet, know, the things I do, and the places I go. Never in my life have I felt as balanced, whole, fully happy, and empowered. Some of the first words I spoke when I broke the rule standing in from of the mirror 5 years ago in a summer dress were these : ‘so this is how it is, this is who I am, … it’s okay…I’m okay’. In a single bat of an eye a wave of energy passed through my body and I felt electric and alive and elevated. It felt as if a large cement weight lifted off of me. If someone were to describe such things to me in the past, before this, I would just nod and say ‘sure, sure, understand’ when in truth I had never had such a feeling. It was easy trying to be what I do – seeing myself as arrogantly smart and not just being myself – a smart girl who can easily admit I most certainly do not know everything. In fact, believe it or not, when reflecting on my battles through the years with myself – nearly caught wearing this or that and the like, for the first time in my life I could laugh at myself. Things are moving along and quite nice in my part of the universe at present, more or less. I see doctors and the like and so far all is good. I still am looking for work, though there seems some barriers on that front – suggestions are welcomed, I have the books ( which clearly have at least one more editorial revision to make, namely author name ), and I have a deep-seated wish to have a few gal pal friends and so on.I could drone on with a million memories, events et al, but maybe I’ll write a tell all book one day ( lol ).Recognize I am still on the earliest of steps of this – there are those who have little to no information on this and must be kept that way due to life’s complications – unfortunately theirs and not mine. So I ask some discretion in your ever sharing of this. Thank you for listening ( ie reading ) and spending some time. I am glad to have come back across all of you. Note I may change my name on fb and the like too, this is all quite new to me - so some nervousness. thanksBriana : )     Note the inclusion of photos and all. The reaction has been priceless - I have been crying on and off through the day. Hormones can be a bit pushy. I had the oddity of coming across and being asked by a dozen or so high school friends - only one who knows - until now, at least. It was like going to a class reunion.  I will add to this as needed. Wow, wow, wow. All the best to everyone here.  Take Care hugs, Briana Purcell - the Galaxy Girl!!  
    May 29, 2018 521
  • 11 May 2018
    Hello Ladies - A new entry from the Cosmic Girl, Briana Purcell ( Q ) and her quest at being herself! Wow, it has been going on 8 months since starting hormones at this writing and again wow - there are many things to talk about. The dosages have been increased a great deal and I am more and more being seen as a woman even without makeup ( yipee ). My numbers are awesome - I am in some sort of mid range for most women in terms of estrogen level and my testosterone level is extremely low. I certainly need a bra, which is one of the clearest and obvious things that are changing. As noted by many other girls here for those looking at such things, yes there is some level of aching and sensitivity, particularly the nipples. My butt is certainly bigger and I needed new pants! ( Yikes ). My skin is quite smooth, soft. I seem to have a bit of a curve to my body too ( I have always been such a pencil - I am so happy at this new development ). There are many subtle and small changes but I really notice a difference as do many others. I seem to look years younger for example. I did have to buy a few new clothes as I went up a size or so ( oops ).  I have posted some of the new items over the last few months ( take a look and let me know ). Like many girls have noted in their hormones over time, there are some times of crying over some things - I am a bit of a softie and always have been. It can be pictures of animals, scenes even in a TV show which of course is fiction yet when two people touch in a needed hug ( I am definitely a hugger ) I have a few happy tear problems.   I remember when I first came out to myself 5 years back and have only been happier and evolving into the person I have always been in my mind. At the time I came out I considered a coffee/tea party with cookies and crackers for guests in my announcement. With all these things happening, I am considering it all the more these days. - I am definitely a bit of a girly girl and I love it. This includes not only clothes, but music, jewelry, shows I watch, et al. I will return to many things in a moment, but I will also note some interesting things. I ask myself, did I suddenly gain personal confidence, a clear sense of self? I notice I am extremely clear-headed, level-headed, very perceptive on both objective as well as emotional levels and issues in myself and others. I notice I clearly understand and am my identity as a woman. This was a conflict all through my life from childhood - seeing a given girl or woman on TV in a movie, as a news anchor et al and suddenly inside I'm saying to myself - I like that outfit, her hair, I love that personality. Instead of any conflict or question, the interesting thing today is this : I am who I am, a woman, simple as that with my own philosophy, personality, likes and the like. - To see more look to my earlier blogs in this evolution and the need to be and finding me.  Also in regards to the confidence, one day I simply decided to put on a bra, as it is needed and wear it regularly - even around many of the people I have yet to even come out to and discuss these matters with, such as my parents. I rent from them in the some home and see them, therefore, quite regularly, yet they are perfectly fine without even asking with me - I have come to find out that my brother even knows. Thus far there is reasonable peace in the valley, fingers crossed. An interesting thing in telling someone occurred when I was at my parents place itself when they had a cousin who does repairs over. He has known me from the past, so clearly this was new, yet he said nothing, so i asked him 'any questions' - he said 'nope' - I of course noted I needed to come out and be myself - he noted that we should all do what makes us happy and he is okay with it.  I walk in the neighborhood, go to the store, pharmacy, the doctor's, the bank, et al as me. I have done my nails, and I mean toes and fingers ( i like many spent years doing toes and keep them rather hidden ) and thankfully the weather is nice enough to have open toe shoes, so this girl shines! One of the tellers at the bank even notes that red must be my color when I saw Jennifer and she calls me by my name, Briana, when I come in the door - she even asked me two years back what do i call myself by name. At the doctor's office ( and I see a few of them for various things ) docs, nurses, et al see me as me - way cool! : ) Interestingly I did a rather long search on facebook the other day. I am considering telling my oldest friend from high school, but still have worries - though he is a great guy. Funny aside story is that we were born a day apart in the same hospital and graduated valedictorian ( him ) and salutatorian ( me ). Nevertheless, I write to him each year with birthday wishes, much like the girls here, and I send it the day before, I am an old school girl with timing where I want to give one the time to look at it then, or the day of their birthday or when they find time. As I signed my name, I wrote my name ( Briana ) - I had to fix that but that has become a bit more common these days. In the case of his facebook entry and considering to tell him I wanted to know more about him and who he knows. I researched his friend list, traced it back to a discussion group of people in high school and viola I came across a person with a girl's name but a last name of a boy I knew in high school. This put me on a longer search and I found an older listing and her newest one when she emerges - she is gorgeous, successful and a great gal. I hesitantly left one question after another and finally said I need to know, were you *** in high school - I need to know as I too am transgender! - She wrote back, we are now friends on facebook, exchanged email addresses, et al - life is too beautiful  sometimes.  There are many things yet to do ( personally of course ) and with regards to finding friends and coming out to a few key people yet, but these areas are strongly in development. A fun thing I did was get a calendar and I put information on the dates on there when things happen ( note I use it for all years, so I put down the year too ). This year is a continuous stream unlike the periodic pieces in the past. Nothing is better than being yourself.  I bought a great book, though written for kids, Be Who You Are on Amazon - I smiled and cried looking at the cover where the young person sees the girl she is in the mirror, it reminded me of me so much. I even have a write up about that and the book on Amazon in a review and give my name. These sort of books give me hope for the future. I have even did a dress and slippers reviews on two different sites with my name and pictures even. I regularly sign various petition letters on matters on health care, children, education, the environment that go to various US Senators and the like, they write back, use my name - I even sent a personal email to one telling her that I came out this year - her letters always start 'Dear Briana'. I have applies to jobs as myself, receive mail in my name quite regularly these days, and it continues. Nothing yet on the jobs front, but who knows? Still searching. I will clearly add to this entry as time goes by and even write further ones - the items are too numerous in terms of changes, events - I plan to do some scoping ( using my telescope ) in the front yard - totally as myself in the near future ( really a Cosmic Girl )  for example. I am thinking of visiting a few of those sewing and hobby stores to look into thing I like - I am not only thinking of trying but also joining small groups of women in these things. Sounds like fun.  I cannot thank this place and the people here, particularly my friends here enough for their support, it has been a great source of strength, inspiration, and I have hopes for all of us girls here. Great Health, Hope, Harmony, and Happiness Always. All the best in your journeys! Take Care, Hugs, Briana Purcell : )  
    610 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - A new entry from the Cosmic Girl, Briana Purcell ( Q ) and her quest at being herself! Wow, it has been going on 8 months since starting hormones at this writing and again wow - there are many things to talk about. The dosages have been increased a great deal and I am more and more being seen as a woman even without makeup ( yipee ). My numbers are awesome - I am in some sort of mid range for most women in terms of estrogen level and my testosterone level is extremely low. I certainly need a bra, which is one of the clearest and obvious things that are changing. As noted by many other girls here for those looking at such things, yes there is some level of aching and sensitivity, particularly the nipples. My butt is certainly bigger and I needed new pants! ( Yikes ). My skin is quite smooth, soft. I seem to have a bit of a curve to my body too ( I have always been such a pencil - I am so happy at this new development ). There are many subtle and small changes but I really notice a difference as do many others. I seem to look years younger for example. I did have to buy a few new clothes as I went up a size or so ( oops ).  I have posted some of the new items over the last few months ( take a look and let me know ). Like many girls have noted in their hormones over time, there are some times of crying over some things - I am a bit of a softie and always have been. It can be pictures of animals, scenes even in a TV show which of course is fiction yet when two people touch in a needed hug ( I am definitely a hugger ) I have a few happy tear problems.   I remember when I first came out to myself 5 years back and have only been happier and evolving into the person I have always been in my mind. At the time I came out I considered a coffee/tea party with cookies and crackers for guests in my announcement. With all these things happening, I am considering it all the more these days. - I am definitely a bit of a girly girl and I love it. This includes not only clothes, but music, jewelry, shows I watch, et al. I will return to many things in a moment, but I will also note some interesting things. I ask myself, did I suddenly gain personal confidence, a clear sense of self? I notice I am extremely clear-headed, level-headed, very perceptive on both objective as well as emotional levels and issues in myself and others. I notice I clearly understand and am my identity as a woman. This was a conflict all through my life from childhood - seeing a given girl or woman on TV in a movie, as a news anchor et al and suddenly inside I'm saying to myself - I like that outfit, her hair, I love that personality. Instead of any conflict or question, the interesting thing today is this : I am who I am, a woman, simple as that with my own philosophy, personality, likes and the like. - To see more look to my earlier blogs in this evolution and the need to be and finding me.  Also in regards to the confidence, one day I simply decided to put on a bra, as it is needed and wear it regularly - even around many of the people I have yet to even come out to and discuss these matters with, such as my parents. I rent from them in the some home and see them, therefore, quite regularly, yet they are perfectly fine without even asking with me - I have come to find out that my brother even knows. Thus far there is reasonable peace in the valley, fingers crossed. An interesting thing in telling someone occurred when I was at my parents place itself when they had a cousin who does repairs over. He has known me from the past, so clearly this was new, yet he said nothing, so i asked him 'any questions' - he said 'nope' - I of course noted I needed to come out and be myself - he noted that we should all do what makes us happy and he is okay with it.  I walk in the neighborhood, go to the store, pharmacy, the doctor's, the bank, et al as me. I have done my nails, and I mean toes and fingers ( i like many spent years doing toes and keep them rather hidden ) and thankfully the weather is nice enough to have open toe shoes, so this girl shines! One of the tellers at the bank even notes that red must be my color when I saw Jennifer and she calls me by my name, Briana, when I come in the door - she even asked me two years back what do i call myself by name. At the doctor's office ( and I see a few of them for various things ) docs, nurses, et al see me as me - way cool! : ) Interestingly I did a rather long search on facebook the other day. I am considering telling my oldest friend from high school, but still have worries - though he is a great guy. Funny aside story is that we were born a day apart in the same hospital and graduated valedictorian ( him ) and salutatorian ( me ). Nevertheless, I write to him each year with birthday wishes, much like the girls here, and I send it the day before, I am an old school girl with timing where I want to give one the time to look at it then, or the day of their birthday or when they find time. As I signed my name, I wrote my name ( Briana ) - I had to fix that but that has become a bit more common these days. In the case of his facebook entry and considering to tell him I wanted to know more about him and who he knows. I researched his friend list, traced it back to a discussion group of people in high school and viola I came across a person with a girl's name but a last name of a boy I knew in high school. This put me on a longer search and I found an older listing and her newest one when she emerges - she is gorgeous, successful and a great gal. I hesitantly left one question after another and finally said I need to know, were you *** in high school - I need to know as I too am transgender! - She wrote back, we are now friends on facebook, exchanged email addresses, et al - life is too beautiful  sometimes.  There are many things yet to do ( personally of course ) and with regards to finding friends and coming out to a few key people yet, but these areas are strongly in development. A fun thing I did was get a calendar and I put information on the dates on there when things happen ( note I use it for all years, so I put down the year too ). This year is a continuous stream unlike the periodic pieces in the past. Nothing is better than being yourself.  I bought a great book, though written for kids, Be Who You Are on Amazon - I smiled and cried looking at the cover where the young person sees the girl she is in the mirror, it reminded me of me so much. I even have a write up about that and the book on Amazon in a review and give my name. These sort of books give me hope for the future. I have even did a dress and slippers reviews on two different sites with my name and pictures even. I regularly sign various petition letters on matters on health care, children, education, the environment that go to various US Senators and the like, they write back, use my name - I even sent a personal email to one telling her that I came out this year - her letters always start 'Dear Briana'. I have applies to jobs as myself, receive mail in my name quite regularly these days, and it continues. Nothing yet on the jobs front, but who knows? Still searching. I will clearly add to this entry as time goes by and even write further ones - the items are too numerous in terms of changes, events - I plan to do some scoping ( using my telescope ) in the front yard - totally as myself in the near future ( really a Cosmic Girl )  for example. I am thinking of visiting a few of those sewing and hobby stores to look into thing I like - I am not only thinking of trying but also joining small groups of women in these things. Sounds like fun.  I cannot thank this place and the people here, particularly my friends here enough for their support, it has been a great source of strength, inspiration, and I have hopes for all of us girls here. Great Health, Hope, Harmony, and Happiness Always. All the best in your journeys! Take Care, Hugs, Briana Purcell : )  
    May 11, 2018 610
  • 10 Nov 2017
    Hello Ladies - Here are updates on my super world, the path of Briana! : ) As noted in the prior blog I have come out to a series of doctors ( 2 endocrinologists, my therapist, and even the whole of the medical system I am part of through my insurance ). When I go online to look up my file, notes, et al - I am who I am - Briana!! Everyone has been quite friendly, supportive, and see me as me. I reflect on much earlier times long before coming out to myself and those struggles - how when at a given store I would secretly wish someone behind me could say "Miss --" or something in that direction. These were fleeting and few but were nuggets of gold in my past and deeply wishes for ( bear in mind I had a great deal of emotional conflict over such things before addressing myself on these things however ). Nevertheless yesterday I had a follow up meeting with my endocrinologist to go over the newest results of my blood work after now being on hormone therapy ( hooray!! ) for a little over a month. Already the testosterone level is lower than a standard male and the estrogen level has more than doubled! Super news in my book - my breasts thank me daily ( albeit small and developing lol )! She decided to double the estrogen level and all things look good. That news is great in itself, but the day was beyond my wishes though. I went in a red and black plaid skirt, black hose, a nice red top, with cute short heel black shoes. I feel confident, happy, and massively content ( since starting hormones, this sense of peace, tranquility, and balance has been incredible ). As I walked in I was looked at as if I were any other woman walking into the place ( no strange glares or people turning away ). I approached the elevator and there was a grandfather with his toddler grandson just ahead of me. The lad pressed the button and we boarded the lift. In a moment, the grandfather turns to his grandson and notes, 'Show the lady how you can pick our floor, 2" - The lad does so and I note 'Good job'. The doors open on our floor and he places his hand on his grandson's shoulder as I stand there still reflecting on the prior moments and he nods and signals me to go ahead and step out - I say 'thanks'.  In line a person calls out to a lady that it is her turn in saying 'Miss' my head instantly turned. The receptionist, the nurses, the doctor were all cordial, friendly - calling me by name, Briana, and they even updated my file with my new picture ( note I am also in make up as well! ).  Seated in the waiting room a nurse comes out to call the next patient looking for a Mr - she looks past me not even considering me ( thankfully ) while another nearby woman looks about and points out a man over my shoulder further back and asks him if he was the one being called.  Another woman enters the waiting area coming from the adjacent women's lavatory and turns to me and asks if I was wearing a jacket today - I note, no, only my sweater that I have on - she notes that there is one left in the bathroom that's why she was asking me! Along with the discussion of hormones and the upgrade with the doctor I gave her as I have given the list of noted doctor's my first edition copy of my book - talking about my creative drive, interests in writing, the fun experiments in the book using ordinary materials and the like. Each of them allowed me to sign it to them personally and of course, as myself, Briana!  Today was a day I will remember always - compared to the 'Miss' from long ago, this was a day of a pile of gold bars and not just a nugget. I was me, myself and I, Briana - I was that woman in the doctor's office and was perfectly alive, happy, and well in all ranges - physically, mentally, and emotionally.  More to follow in time with further months on hormones and more times out and about as me! All the best in your journeys. Thanks for taking time to read. Take Care Hugs, Briana : ) Cosmic Girl out exploring herself and the Cosmos!  
    452 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - Here are updates on my super world, the path of Briana! : ) As noted in the prior blog I have come out to a series of doctors ( 2 endocrinologists, my therapist, and even the whole of the medical system I am part of through my insurance ). When I go online to look up my file, notes, et al - I am who I am - Briana!! Everyone has been quite friendly, supportive, and see me as me. I reflect on much earlier times long before coming out to myself and those struggles - how when at a given store I would secretly wish someone behind me could say "Miss --" or something in that direction. These were fleeting and few but were nuggets of gold in my past and deeply wishes for ( bear in mind I had a great deal of emotional conflict over such things before addressing myself on these things however ). Nevertheless yesterday I had a follow up meeting with my endocrinologist to go over the newest results of my blood work after now being on hormone therapy ( hooray!! ) for a little over a month. Already the testosterone level is lower than a standard male and the estrogen level has more than doubled! Super news in my book - my breasts thank me daily ( albeit small and developing lol )! She decided to double the estrogen level and all things look good. That news is great in itself, but the day was beyond my wishes though. I went in a red and black plaid skirt, black hose, a nice red top, with cute short heel black shoes. I feel confident, happy, and massively content ( since starting hormones, this sense of peace, tranquility, and balance has been incredible ). As I walked in I was looked at as if I were any other woman walking into the place ( no strange glares or people turning away ). I approached the elevator and there was a grandfather with his toddler grandson just ahead of me. The lad pressed the button and we boarded the lift. In a moment, the grandfather turns to his grandson and notes, 'Show the lady how you can pick our floor, 2" - The lad does so and I note 'Good job'. The doors open on our floor and he places his hand on his grandson's shoulder as I stand there still reflecting on the prior moments and he nods and signals me to go ahead and step out - I say 'thanks'.  In line a person calls out to a lady that it is her turn in saying 'Miss' my head instantly turned. The receptionist, the nurses, the doctor were all cordial, friendly - calling me by name, Briana, and they even updated my file with my new picture ( note I am also in make up as well! ).  Seated in the waiting room a nurse comes out to call the next patient looking for a Mr - she looks past me not even considering me ( thankfully ) while another nearby woman looks about and points out a man over my shoulder further back and asks him if he was the one being called.  Another woman enters the waiting area coming from the adjacent women's lavatory and turns to me and asks if I was wearing a jacket today - I note, no, only my sweater that I have on - she notes that there is one left in the bathroom that's why she was asking me! Along with the discussion of hormones and the upgrade with the doctor I gave her as I have given the list of noted doctor's my first edition copy of my book - talking about my creative drive, interests in writing, the fun experiments in the book using ordinary materials and the like. Each of them allowed me to sign it to them personally and of course, as myself, Briana!  Today was a day I will remember always - compared to the 'Miss' from long ago, this was a day of a pile of gold bars and not just a nugget. I was me, myself and I, Briana - I was that woman in the doctor's office and was perfectly alive, happy, and well in all ranges - physically, mentally, and emotionally.  More to follow in time with further months on hormones and more times out and about as me! All the best in your journeys. Thanks for taking time to read. Take Care Hugs, Briana : ) Cosmic Girl out exploring herself and the Cosmos!  
    Nov 10, 2017 452
  • 29 Sep 2017
    Hello Ladies - Important news from the wonderful world of Briana! I first came out to my doctor on July 31 and she was wonderful - passing along paperwork to connect to the right people in the system and even had recommendations for various people to talk to. I filled it out and had a week or so of emails back and forth since I checked off a number of boxes I look forward to in my future ( hormones, surgery, electrolysis, et al ) and was given all sorts of names, links, and the like. My first goal, of course, is the 'girl skittles' as the other Bri here calls them, namely hormones - so I had to meet with the therapist to be evaluated. It was only two meetings and we had lengthy talks - normally I do not say a lot but wow I opened up and told a whole range of tales of my life and feelings about being a girl since age 5! It did me wonders and he is a wonderful soul to talk to. These meetings were in late August and early September. He even thought I was already on hormones due to the way I look ( which I have been doing a few things in the last couple of years, as I told him ) but I loved the compliment. He told me of his own two spirit personality, his years of work, writings, and other really cool information.  Now to find the endocrinologist for the hormones and with luck not only were there several but the one who is strongly connected to my therapist, heavily recommended was available on Sept 28 where I arrived and gave blood and went home and waited for the call from the pharmacy. It took a few hours but those minutes felt like days and my mind went in twenty directions. With the call I raced out the door, held back from screaming and crying the whole way there and back and worked hard to keep my often lead foot off the accelerator - never in my life have I raced for something so bad as this. Got home and began treatment immediately.  As a side note I set up that appointment on Sept 14 - Let me say this - never in my lifetime has two weeks ever taken so long. As time went along I counted down days and even resulted to hours in the last 3 days.  Other notes : All the doctors and the therapist are super people and it opened my mind, heart, and being up immensely. On the electronic system online I am who I am - BRIANA and they call me that everywhere - nurses, doctors, receptionists, et al. In all three meetings I went totally as myself - gorgeous skirt, cute top and shoes, and a well done make up job on my fact I might add - this girl is cute! One elderly woman even made it a point to sit by me as we both waited in the clinic area to have blood drawn and complimented me on my skirt aloud to all around us! En route to all meetings I struck up my CD player which has Enya in it and I would play about 5-7 tunes depending on the length of the journey. I felt excited, elated, a bit anxious, happy, and forward thinking already, but the music amplified my spirit enormously.  Why the amount of time to reach here? More reasons than I can discuss in detail, but there were times of no insurance, insurance that had little to no coverage, an initial doctor under the other insurance who was very rude and not communicative at all, my determination to find a path with no help ( not recommended to anyone ) and of course, my own fears in approaching this new insurance which I have had for a couple of years.  No regrets though. I always seem to be at that point in my life when it is right to do this or that thing.  One of the critical keys is this : I am a person who lives by massive values, rules, standards and the like and always have - don't get me wrong do I color outside the lines at times ( literally basically ) sure enough - but I uphold standards and use these in my personal battles with myself since childhood where I have always known I am a girl since age 5 - but this made no sense logically especially at those times nearly a half century ago. Nevertheless as I explained to the therapist the only time I did things one is not expected or should do ( such as dressing and taking hormones et al ) I did so without hesitation. He first told me I did not do anything wrong and asked, how did this make you feel? Really good, I replied. -- how this relates to being here with the doctors and the like, I need to be on the path to me and need good help otherwise I might keep pushing boundaries ( which I do not recommend and one should be with a doctor and monitored ). Akin to this line of thought is how I discussed me to the therapist. I noted that all of us define ourselves by two central questions : Who Am I? and What do I do here? in our lives. I always knew I am a girl, but there seem to be no way to say, express or be me, but I could override the who am I part with what do I do here by always defining myself by what I do : collect things, bike ride, write, learn and teach science and math. In each case though not noted there were no gendered descriptors in these, though I always knew what they were. This has been the quest since coming out to myself, filling in the whole of the picture with who am I, the girl who loves and does as she does in her life. Overall I feel liberated and looking forward to many new things.  Other good things : Even in the past two months I have been out on several occasions such as my anniversary date of coming out to myself ( Sept 21, 2112 ) when I finally spoke and said 'I'm okay' - a story shared with each of the aforementioned doctors. I went to a massive mall and went window shopping, having some coffee and taking in the scenery as well as going to a grocery store looking good in all places and cases.  On the hormones, as I should always have been ( unlike the time I took both my mom's and years later a friend of mine - but those are other tales to tell another time ) and feeling at peace, happy, content, even more optimistic than usual for me, and many more things to come - I will amend this piece as needed in time and put those reflections in here as well.  Ever the cosmic girl, hugs, Briana : )  
    473 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - Important news from the wonderful world of Briana! I first came out to my doctor on July 31 and she was wonderful - passing along paperwork to connect to the right people in the system and even had recommendations for various people to talk to. I filled it out and had a week or so of emails back and forth since I checked off a number of boxes I look forward to in my future ( hormones, surgery, electrolysis, et al ) and was given all sorts of names, links, and the like. My first goal, of course, is the 'girl skittles' as the other Bri here calls them, namely hormones - so I had to meet with the therapist to be evaluated. It was only two meetings and we had lengthy talks - normally I do not say a lot but wow I opened up and told a whole range of tales of my life and feelings about being a girl since age 5! It did me wonders and he is a wonderful soul to talk to. These meetings were in late August and early September. He even thought I was already on hormones due to the way I look ( which I have been doing a few things in the last couple of years, as I told him ) but I loved the compliment. He told me of his own two spirit personality, his years of work, writings, and other really cool information.  Now to find the endocrinologist for the hormones and with luck not only were there several but the one who is strongly connected to my therapist, heavily recommended was available on Sept 28 where I arrived and gave blood and went home and waited for the call from the pharmacy. It took a few hours but those minutes felt like days and my mind went in twenty directions. With the call I raced out the door, held back from screaming and crying the whole way there and back and worked hard to keep my often lead foot off the accelerator - never in my life have I raced for something so bad as this. Got home and began treatment immediately.  As a side note I set up that appointment on Sept 14 - Let me say this - never in my lifetime has two weeks ever taken so long. As time went along I counted down days and even resulted to hours in the last 3 days.  Other notes : All the doctors and the therapist are super people and it opened my mind, heart, and being up immensely. On the electronic system online I am who I am - BRIANA and they call me that everywhere - nurses, doctors, receptionists, et al. In all three meetings I went totally as myself - gorgeous skirt, cute top and shoes, and a well done make up job on my fact I might add - this girl is cute! One elderly woman even made it a point to sit by me as we both waited in the clinic area to have blood drawn and complimented me on my skirt aloud to all around us! En route to all meetings I struck up my CD player which has Enya in it and I would play about 5-7 tunes depending on the length of the journey. I felt excited, elated, a bit anxious, happy, and forward thinking already, but the music amplified my spirit enormously.  Why the amount of time to reach here? More reasons than I can discuss in detail, but there were times of no insurance, insurance that had little to no coverage, an initial doctor under the other insurance who was very rude and not communicative at all, my determination to find a path with no help ( not recommended to anyone ) and of course, my own fears in approaching this new insurance which I have had for a couple of years.  No regrets though. I always seem to be at that point in my life when it is right to do this or that thing.  One of the critical keys is this : I am a person who lives by massive values, rules, standards and the like and always have - don't get me wrong do I color outside the lines at times ( literally basically ) sure enough - but I uphold standards and use these in my personal battles with myself since childhood where I have always known I am a girl since age 5 - but this made no sense logically especially at those times nearly a half century ago. Nevertheless as I explained to the therapist the only time I did things one is not expected or should do ( such as dressing and taking hormones et al ) I did so without hesitation. He first told me I did not do anything wrong and asked, how did this make you feel? Really good, I replied. -- how this relates to being here with the doctors and the like, I need to be on the path to me and need good help otherwise I might keep pushing boundaries ( which I do not recommend and one should be with a doctor and monitored ). Akin to this line of thought is how I discussed me to the therapist. I noted that all of us define ourselves by two central questions : Who Am I? and What do I do here? in our lives. I always knew I am a girl, but there seem to be no way to say, express or be me, but I could override the who am I part with what do I do here by always defining myself by what I do : collect things, bike ride, write, learn and teach science and math. In each case though not noted there were no gendered descriptors in these, though I always knew what they were. This has been the quest since coming out to myself, filling in the whole of the picture with who am I, the girl who loves and does as she does in her life. Overall I feel liberated and looking forward to many new things.  Other good things : Even in the past two months I have been out on several occasions such as my anniversary date of coming out to myself ( Sept 21, 2112 ) when I finally spoke and said 'I'm okay' - a story shared with each of the aforementioned doctors. I went to a massive mall and went window shopping, having some coffee and taking in the scenery as well as going to a grocery store looking good in all places and cases.  On the hormones, as I should always have been ( unlike the time I took both my mom's and years later a friend of mine - but those are other tales to tell another time ) and feeling at peace, happy, content, even more optimistic than usual for me, and many more things to come - I will amend this piece as needed in time and put those reflections in here as well.  Ever the cosmic girl, hugs, Briana : )  
    Sep 29, 2017 473
  • 19 Jul 2016
    Hello Ladies - Another entry in the ongoing jounral of Briana Q - ( I actually do this as a sort of diary I suppose ). It has been some time since the last entry - much seems the same, yet there are new things afoot. I find time and again how many threads of my past were always interwoven with being myself ( a transgender woman ) and how I ran from it and even outright denied it. Today and for the last several years since ( as I call it ) the bubble burst - I have come to see my true image and self as the woman I am.  A classic example comes from fiction writing I did many years ago from childhood on as a hobby. Two of the key characters turn out to be transgender mtf's hiding in plain sight ( even before I knew that there were transgender people or a term for it ). In writing about them I personally could feel the release, though I kept my personal feelings out of discussion with others who might look at my work. Intentially I even made one female cisgender character my doppleganger - height, weight, hair, eye color, et al - and I have always seen myself as her, but never would tell a soul. Even in the work on the chacters in reflection I realize I always embodied and looked through the eyes of the female characters and strongly identified with them and saw the males as those guys over there.  That whole identiy and identifying thing has been another one of those threads I realized I kept hidden from all others, and tried often to not think about. I have even found myself making face and hand gestures of tv anchorwomen for example, almost unconsciously. I recall being quite yound and watching Barbera Streisand in What's Up Doc with my grandmother - we had a blast - laughing all the time with it. The whole time, I kept wishing I were her ( hope she never reads such a comment - would not want to offend anyone ). Being that young - feelings like that disturbed me a bit. Though I have to admit when it comes to my grandma what was cool was the fact I was the only grandchild with a nickname and it was Heidi - after the Shirley Temple character of the same movie name - that was another great time. - Other things are : Who wouldn't want to be Samantha ( Elizabeth Montgomery ) on Bewitched? - This list is enormous and comes to the present as well - I love the movie Emilie - the moment I saw it, I quickly identified with her and saw myself as her - Audrey Tautoo ( probably misspelled ) as the title character - she is fun, light-hearted, smart, fresh, intelligent, and pretty.  These identy threads were quite common - there was the show Facts of Life about 4 girls at a boarding school and operating a store - I always wanted to be one of them - but I had better ideas than they had for the characters - they had no science/math girl - I wanted to be the geek girl of the group. -- I could go on and on with this ( one day I might ) but sufficient to say I had and have an active mental landscape.  The thread theme is definitely one of the mental images of myself, much akin to a tapestry ( an early and still onging view of myself is as an Irish lass in a gorgeous multi-shade of green dress ). Threads are time too and are both external and internal. It was clear early on to me I knew how I felt but could find no cause-and-effect reason why - that is, seeing myself as a girl. Now all this time later I realize that the external threads all carry the wavelength of my being in my life, my view of myself, as a girl which have been internal all along. Still we are a combination of mostly internal threads and some external ones as well that shape the tapestry of who we are.  As noted in prior blogs I am still on course, still very much balanced - very much in tune with myself and like myself a lot. I do have my dumpy days - envying every cisgender woman on earth - feeling way too fat - don't get me started on my looks ( face , nose, hands, freckles, fat, chin, the never ending list ), having no friends ( tehnically two only and neither can know as they both hate transgender people ) - having no job ( lost after losing a 5 year battle in both the state and federal courts where a corrupt set of people where I worked deliberately destroyed not only my job but my entire career and all prospects to ever work in that area again ) and a very bizarre life that is rather boxed in for many reasons - such as too many chronic illness issues that are a perpetual battle - etc. This along with always being the least pretty girl in the room, falling back two steps with each attempted step forward, etc - amazing I find a reason to smile each day - but there are reasons : 1) alive with reasonable health that I have the ability and rational to deal with, 2) some friends ( despite having no roads to communication or freedom to be me ), 3) finally finding, acknowledging, and accepting myself as a girl after decades of creating every imaginable barrier to those thoughts and feelings. Plus 4) I am a very good person at heart, who is creative and carring , and intelligent. Even with all of that I still stick to my motto of : Resolve, Solve, Evolve - along with being a optimistic realist by nature.  Beyond balance there is an interesting fact - never in my life have I been able to laugh at myself as well as never being balanced - despite being a reasonably positive person to be around. Now not only am I more positive as a whole since fully finding myself, as well as being balanced in myself as noted, but also being able to laugh at myself. I recall the first time more than 10 years ago being on ebay when looking for slide rules and inadvertantly typing in slide and hitting enter. Up came a number of entries, children's backyard slides and a host of 35 mm slides among them. But there it was women's shoes slides - I grinned from ear to ear, my heart beat fast, I felt I had opened a secret treasure chest. I quickly looked about, of course, the normal guilt and fear then crept in - which I always projected onto all others. Now today I can look back and smile, even laugh at my insecure and struggling self - and be okay with me. It is not only transgender moments but my whole self - knowing what I really know and being able to know what I do not know, fully like myself and laugh at myself when circumstances call for it.  I have published 4 books in one year on science and math activities and seem to occupy a special niche in reading since few experiment books give substantitive depth on detail, formulae, and the like whereas I do. Most are geared for the 'wow' science of observation whereas I have crafted work where measurement and analysis of measurement are the goals of the science quest. - Unfortunately I have to use my birth name in publishing ( though I think about a great photo on back with me in a great outfit someday ) but I consider it my nom de plume. - Also there are activities where some of me comes out ( and this is on the web site of the books too ) for example pictures of a pair of my cute tennis shoes, wedges, and heels ( red no less ) are in the book and I declare they are mine. On the web site there is one essay about my favorite slide rule, the pickett B1 in my real name Briana P*** even. As for going out - the frequency is low to me, but that is because I like to and am comfortable with it. The barriers in my life are all external, which is good. In 2016 I have been to the mall a couple of times, walking all about, visiting stores, stopping for a coffee and the lke - this was in the week of St Patricks Day in March. All outings have been quite good and I felt like myself and had a great deal of confidence and energy. Thus far in July I have been to several stores and even the bank making a deposit and looking smashing I might add. The teller on July 19th even asked me - which this is a first for me - what do I prefer in being called and referred to - I noted that the account has a name already ( one I am born with ) - she said that don't matter - so I told her 'Briana' - which she called me. I almost burst into tears ( I seem to have a problem with that from time to time with sensitive movies and the like ). Still a great day to hold near and dear to me. It was like the first time ( the Henry Ford museum trip ) when I asked someone to take my photo and the museum host, a woman at the Fuller house, did this and was quite nice - not to mention a gentleman opened the exit gate for me on leaving - I was startled but walked through and said thanks.  Today - 7/28 - Another great day out - went to the mall on a warm day in one of my favorite skirts - I call it 'my fiesta' - was complimented, spoken to often and I stopped and helped to other ladies setting a sign at a store. The manager says 'you people are so kind' - I took it very positively and recognize I not only represent me but all of us TG gals when out and it makes a difference - always be the best you are! hugs, Briana : ) On 8/I don't recall - A day at Meijer where I went in my white crinkle fabric with leaves and floral pattern skirt with a cute green top and bought some nail polish and lipstick - a fun vanity day out. : ) Another day on on 8/23 - a grand tour of the local mall. Wearing a great outift and the weather was perfect. A lot of window shopping and strolling through the indoor mall - a favorite of mine sinece childhood. Stopped for coffee at my regular coffee shop and had some homemade cookies with me too.  ( I have been to this mall repeatedly, in fact as noted above as an example ). Looked in a few stores at great items ( don't we all wish to be wealthy ) - even bought a couple of maxi skirts at jcpenny that I have been admiring on line for some time and were now on clearance ( hurray ). Sales associates were helpful and overall a super time and experience. BTW the skirts look great! : )  On 8/30 decided to wear one of the new skirts to the mall, do some window shopping, stop for coffee and have some of my homemade cookies. It is the purple one - also decided to wear my white wedge sandals with it - looking pretty and it was a very nice time. En route to the mall did some grocery shopping and stocked up on necessities ( shaving cream, nail polish romover, et al ) as well. All in all a great day! : ) Another new adventure on 9/23 - All in yellow - skirt and top - out to a major store ( Meijer ) and combed it all - needed some cosmetics, cat treats, and silk yogurt among my items so I was everywhere. Prices are aweful and one has to be the savy shopper. Also - I've definitely put on weight over the time and some of my clothes are a bit too tight ( ouch ) - yesterday wrestled my way into and out of several dresses that were good a couple years back, but that's not so good now - even today I put on 3 outfits to settle on the yellow sun look and still am disappointed in myself as fat. Need to work on that one. Overall a very good time, however despite personal criticism ( trust me that list is way too long ). Always with a smile, good thoughts, and a happy heart. : ) Another outing today : 10/26 - went to the grocery store and the bank. I wore a burgundy top with a long black skirt and black hose and basic black heels. I needed my black jacket as it is a bit cold, cloudy, and starting a light rain today. At the bank the teller I had some time back who asked me what I wanted to be called was walking by and said 'Hello Briana' - I quickly turned my head ( interesting to note is that I know who I am, I just never realized I know it so well ! ( wow )). This was a great highlight today. Out once again on 11/15 and in a new skirt recently purchased. A red and black plaid with a cute red top. Went to my usual place - the mall - several good walk arounds and store visits with a stop for a coffee and some brought along cookies. Being the time of year it is, Santa is now there and even waved and shouted 'hello' - makes a girl smile.  Updates from 2017 : Times out and about :  1/18 - Went to the mall in a nice red - scottish pattern skirt and did a walk about, had coffee and window shopped 2/17 - Went grocery shopping in the same red skirt noted prior ( it is great for colder weather ) - had booties on with hose 2/24 - Though a bit brisk, it seemed to be nearing Spring, so I decided to go to the grocery store in a green dress ( my oldest piece and the one I wore to the museum a few years back ) 3/1 - Went to the bank and a majore big store in a red skirt 3/14 - Grocery shopping in a cute pair of jeans, sweet booties, nice feminine top ( bra and all ) with a wonderful scarf 3/29 - Much more like Spring, so I went with  my new floral skirt, red top and red flats - went to the big store ( Meijer ) and the grocery store. I was even complimented by a passerby on the skirt. Shopping was for all sorts of items so I was all over the store in each case.    Makes me reflect on childhood and the fact I never liked guy references, such as boy / man / prince / handsome - yet always liked and wished to be referred to as a girl - woman - cute - pretty - and princess. Finally makes sense.  More to follow on this one - many new ideas and adventures as myself await.  Take Care Hugs, Briana : )  
    642 Posted by Briana Purcell
  • Hello Ladies - Another entry in the ongoing jounral of Briana Q - ( I actually do this as a sort of diary I suppose ). It has been some time since the last entry - much seems the same, yet there are new things afoot. I find time and again how many threads of my past were always interwoven with being myself ( a transgender woman ) and how I ran from it and even outright denied it. Today and for the last several years since ( as I call it ) the bubble burst - I have come to see my true image and self as the woman I am.  A classic example comes from fiction writing I did many years ago from childhood on as a hobby. Two of the key characters turn out to be transgender mtf's hiding in plain sight ( even before I knew that there were transgender people or a term for it ). In writing about them I personally could feel the release, though I kept my personal feelings out of discussion with others who might look at my work. Intentially I even made one female cisgender character my doppleganger - height, weight, hair, eye color, et al - and I have always seen myself as her, but never would tell a soul. Even in the work on the chacters in reflection I realize I always embodied and looked through the eyes of the female characters and strongly identified with them and saw the males as those guys over there.  That whole identiy and identifying thing has been another one of those threads I realized I kept hidden from all others, and tried often to not think about. I have even found myself making face and hand gestures of tv anchorwomen for example, almost unconsciously. I recall being quite yound and watching Barbera Streisand in What's Up Doc with my grandmother - we had a blast - laughing all the time with it. The whole time, I kept wishing I were her ( hope she never reads such a comment - would not want to offend anyone ). Being that young - feelings like that disturbed me a bit. Though I have to admit when it comes to my grandma what was cool was the fact I was the only grandchild with a nickname and it was Heidi - after the Shirley Temple character of the same movie name - that was another great time. - Other things are : Who wouldn't want to be Samantha ( Elizabeth Montgomery ) on Bewitched? - This list is enormous and comes to the present as well - I love the movie Emilie - the moment I saw it, I quickly identified with her and saw myself as her - Audrey Tautoo ( probably misspelled ) as the title character - she is fun, light-hearted, smart, fresh, intelligent, and pretty.  These identy threads were quite common - there was the show Facts of Life about 4 girls at a boarding school and operating a store - I always wanted to be one of them - but I had better ideas than they had for the characters - they had no science/math girl - I wanted to be the geek girl of the group. -- I could go on and on with this ( one day I might ) but sufficient to say I had and have an active mental landscape.  The thread theme is definitely one of the mental images of myself, much akin to a tapestry ( an early and still onging view of myself is as an Irish lass in a gorgeous multi-shade of green dress ). Threads are time too and are both external and internal. It was clear early on to me I knew how I felt but could find no cause-and-effect reason why - that is, seeing myself as a girl. Now all this time later I realize that the external threads all carry the wavelength of my being in my life, my view of myself, as a girl which have been internal all along. Still we are a combination of mostly internal threads and some external ones as well that shape the tapestry of who we are.  As noted in prior blogs I am still on course, still very much balanced - very much in tune with myself and like myself a lot. I do have my dumpy days - envying every cisgender woman on earth - feeling way too fat - don't get me started on my looks ( face , nose, hands, freckles, fat, chin, the never ending list ), having no friends ( tehnically two only and neither can know as they both hate transgender people ) - having no job ( lost after losing a 5 year battle in both the state and federal courts where a corrupt set of people where I worked deliberately destroyed not only my job but my entire career and all prospects to ever work in that area again ) and a very bizarre life that is rather boxed in for many reasons - such as too many chronic illness issues that are a perpetual battle - etc. This along with always being the least pretty girl in the room, falling back two steps with each attempted step forward, etc - amazing I find a reason to smile each day - but there are reasons : 1) alive with reasonable health that I have the ability and rational to deal with, 2) some friends ( despite having no roads to communication or freedom to be me ), 3) finally finding, acknowledging, and accepting myself as a girl after decades of creating every imaginable barrier to those thoughts and feelings. Plus 4) I am a very good person at heart, who is creative and carring , and intelligent. Even with all of that I still stick to my motto of : Resolve, Solve, Evolve - along with being a optimistic realist by nature.  Beyond balance there is an interesting fact - never in my life have I been able to laugh at myself as well as never being balanced - despite being a reasonably positive person to be around. Now not only am I more positive as a whole since fully finding myself, as well as being balanced in myself as noted, but also being able to laugh at myself. I recall the first time more than 10 years ago being on ebay when looking for slide rules and inadvertantly typing in slide and hitting enter. Up came a number of entries, children's backyard slides and a host of 35 mm slides among them. But there it was women's shoes slides - I grinned from ear to ear, my heart beat fast, I felt I had opened a secret treasure chest. I quickly looked about, of course, the normal guilt and fear then crept in - which I always projected onto all others. Now today I can look back and smile, even laugh at my insecure and struggling self - and be okay with me. It is not only transgender moments but my whole self - knowing what I really know and being able to know what I do not know, fully like myself and laugh at myself when circumstances call for it.  I have published 4 books in one year on science and math activities and seem to occupy a special niche in reading since few experiment books give substantitive depth on detail, formulae, and the like whereas I do. Most are geared for the 'wow' science of observation whereas I have crafted work where measurement and analysis of measurement are the goals of the science quest. - Unfortunately I have to use my birth name in publishing ( though I think about a great photo on back with me in a great outfit someday ) but I consider it my nom de plume. - Also there are activities where some of me comes out ( and this is on the web site of the books too ) for example pictures of a pair of my cute tennis shoes, wedges, and heels ( red no less ) are in the book and I declare they are mine. On the web site there is one essay about my favorite slide rule, the pickett B1 in my real name Briana P*** even. As for going out - the frequency is low to me, but that is because I like to and am comfortable with it. The barriers in my life are all external, which is good. In 2016 I have been to the mall a couple of times, walking all about, visiting stores, stopping for a coffee and the lke - this was in the week of St Patricks Day in March. All outings have been quite good and I felt like myself and had a great deal of confidence and energy. Thus far in July I have been to several stores and even the bank making a deposit and looking smashing I might add. The teller on July 19th even asked me - which this is a first for me - what do I prefer in being called and referred to - I noted that the account has a name already ( one I am born with ) - she said that don't matter - so I told her 'Briana' - which she called me. I almost burst into tears ( I seem to have a problem with that from time to time with sensitive movies and the like ). Still a great day to hold near and dear to me. It was like the first time ( the Henry Ford museum trip ) when I asked someone to take my photo and the museum host, a woman at the Fuller house, did this and was quite nice - not to mention a gentleman opened the exit gate for me on leaving - I was startled but walked through and said thanks.  Today - 7/28 - Another great day out - went to the mall on a warm day in one of my favorite skirts - I call it 'my fiesta' - was complimented, spoken to often and I stopped and helped to other ladies setting a sign at a store. The manager says 'you people are so kind' - I took it very positively and recognize I not only represent me but all of us TG gals when out and it makes a difference - always be the best you are! hugs, Briana : ) On 8/I don't recall - A day at Meijer where I went in my white crinkle fabric with leaves and floral pattern skirt with a cute green top and bought some nail polish and lipstick - a fun vanity day out. : ) Another day on on 8/23 - a grand tour of the local mall. Wearing a great outift and the weather was perfect. A lot of window shopping and strolling through the indoor mall - a favorite of mine sinece childhood. Stopped for coffee at my regular coffee shop and had some homemade cookies with me too.  ( I have been to this mall repeatedly, in fact as noted above as an example ). Looked in a few stores at great items ( don't we all wish to be wealthy ) - even bought a couple of maxi skirts at jcpenny that I have been admiring on line for some time and were now on clearance ( hurray ). Sales associates were helpful and overall a super time and experience. BTW the skirts look great! : )  On 8/30 decided to wear one of the new skirts to the mall, do some window shopping, stop for coffee and have some of my homemade cookies. It is the purple one - also decided to wear my white wedge sandals with it - looking pretty and it was a very nice time. En route to the mall did some grocery shopping and stocked up on necessities ( shaving cream, nail polish romover, et al ) as well. All in all a great day! : ) Another new adventure on 9/23 - All in yellow - skirt and top - out to a major store ( Meijer ) and combed it all - needed some cosmetics, cat treats, and silk yogurt among my items so I was everywhere. Prices are aweful and one has to be the savy shopper. Also - I've definitely put on weight over the time and some of my clothes are a bit too tight ( ouch ) - yesterday wrestled my way into and out of several dresses that were good a couple years back, but that's not so good now - even today I put on 3 outfits to settle on the yellow sun look and still am disappointed in myself as fat. Need to work on that one. Overall a very good time, however despite personal criticism ( trust me that list is way too long ). Always with a smile, good thoughts, and a happy heart. : ) Another outing today : 10/26 - went to the grocery store and the bank. I wore a burgundy top with a long black skirt and black hose and basic black heels. I needed my black jacket as it is a bit cold, cloudy, and starting a light rain today. At the bank the teller I had some time back who asked me what I wanted to be called was walking by and said 'Hello Briana' - I quickly turned my head ( interesting to note is that I know who I am, I just never realized I know it so well ! ( wow )). This was a great highlight today. Out once again on 11/15 and in a new skirt recently purchased. A red and black plaid with a cute red top. Went to my usual place - the mall - several good walk arounds and store visits with a stop for a coffee and some brought along cookies. Being the time of year it is, Santa is now there and even waved and shouted 'hello' - makes a girl smile.  Updates from 2017 : Times out and about :  1/18 - Went to the mall in a nice red - scottish pattern skirt and did a walk about, had coffee and window shopped 2/17 - Went grocery shopping in the same red skirt noted prior ( it is great for colder weather ) - had booties on with hose 2/24 - Though a bit brisk, it seemed to be nearing Spring, so I decided to go to the grocery store in a green dress ( my oldest piece and the one I wore to the museum a few years back ) 3/1 - Went to the bank and a majore big store in a red skirt 3/14 - Grocery shopping in a cute pair of jeans, sweet booties, nice feminine top ( bra and all ) with a wonderful scarf 3/29 - Much more like Spring, so I went with  my new floral skirt, red top and red flats - went to the big store ( Meijer ) and the grocery store. I was even complimented by a passerby on the skirt. Shopping was for all sorts of items so I was all over the store in each case.    Makes me reflect on childhood and the fact I never liked guy references, such as boy / man / prince / handsome - yet always liked and wished to be referred to as a girl - woman - cute - pretty - and princess. Finally makes sense.  More to follow on this one - many new ideas and adventures as myself await.  Take Care Hugs, Briana : )  
    Jul 19, 2016 642