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    • May 1, 2017 1:16 AM BST
    • Awww...just go about your normal business and things will fall into place over time.  No need to rush, you have enough on your plate right now!  (smile)

      xoxo

    • April 30, 2017 11:51 PM BST
    • I'm figure it out rather quickly, out of necessity! My spam filter gets rid of a lot of the chaff but it's disappointing when you find a promising one only for them to run for the hills or ask for money after a few conversations. The ones that are truly horiffying though are the ones that send dick pics/videos. What makes a person feel like that need to share that with somebody they've mailed from a site once! I'm sure that I'll find somebody, someday and I'm definitely not in any rush. My door definitely isn't closed to anybody on the gender spectrum. Unfortunately I'm finding that for these sites you have to have your profile set to a single binary choice, M or F. The ones I tried that weren't I will definitely not return to (shakes head).

      Thanks for the reply dear. (hugs)
      Cynthia

    • April 30, 2017 4:43 PM BST
    • Cynthia, I'm glad you have at least learned to understand the games being played on the internet dating sites.  Always keep your standards high and continue to maintain your dignity for once you lower yourself down to their levels, you'll have a tough time ever climbing back to the "norm".  There are good people out there but you must be patient and screen carefully.  Mlost think we're vulnerable and desparate.  Sadly, many of us tend to be that way...do not be "that person"!  And I've found by eliminating the gender binary hangups and just seeing another for just their admirable traits really opens up my world to unlimited possibilities.  Being on estrogen for a while will truly make that easier for you over time!

      Best wishes always!

      Traci xoxo

    • April 29, 2017 8:26 PM BST
    • I'm tired of trying online relationships with men through social media, dating sites, meetups, whatever. I chat with them for a bit, and tell them that I'm a "special girl". (Thanks for that term Traci :) ) Then either one of two things happens. I never hear from them again, which is preferable to the second behavior. They profess their undying love, continue to chat with me and a week later start asking for money in different ways. One guy it was iTunes cards for is daughter, another my son was in an accident and I need money for emergency medical treatment, basically I will be with you but as long as you pay me to be with you. I'm not giving up on the male side of the race but I seem to only be attracting the "winners."

       

      Cynthia 

    • April 27, 2017 9:52 PM BST
    • This is an interesting post.  Thanks for sharing this Cristine.  It does paint a bleak picture for finding the right partner.  But I think you have the right idea, judging from your approach.  Stay positive.  I think that staying true to yourself and don't try to justify yourself is probably the best lesson from these posts.  This site really is a gem.

       

      Alice

    • April 17, 2017 10:52 PM BST
    • *giggles*

      xoxo

    • April 17, 2017 3:08 PM BST
    • That does not apply to our lovely men that are members here, lol.

       

      But I have found that most men are akin to mascara, first sign of emotion, a few tears and it runs

    • April 17, 2017 2:50 PM BST
    • Confucious has nothing on our lovely Crissie!!!

      xoxo

    • April 13, 2017 6:09 PM BST
    • How cool!  (smile)

      xoxo

    • April 13, 2017 3:01 PM BST
    • Well I did unleash myself once to Hunter. He was just 25 and a culinary student in NYC. I met him at one of those rate me/date me sites. He was so respectful and pashionate that after a few months, I did meet him at Tavern on the green. Over a glass of wine, I gently explained my status. He was surprised but after a few gulps of wine he said "I don't care, I still want to see you". That led to a summer affair that made me feel like a young girl again. It was wonderful but I finally had to let my little cub go,

    • April 12, 2017 9:11 PM BST
    • Rhonda...the younger guys might fall into a grouping that includes "gold diggers" (guys out to just leech onto your financial assets where you afford their lifestyle...).  Or they might think that since you are "older" and single, that you're desparate for companionship and sex, etc.  (smile)  I try my best to bring their intentions out in a subtle yet revealing way and will show some serious "bitch" at them when I crack their code!  LOL  The "best" are the guys that ask "can you host"???  LOL  In other words, they're either married and sneaking around or are embarrassed to bring you back to mom's basement!  In younger guys, I'm upfront in stressing while I'm OK with seeing a younger guy, I'm really looking for maturity and that age does not matter if one acts civilized and mature in all settings.  Geez, I sound like a tightly wrapped prude but nothing could be further from the truth.  They have to earn my trust before I'll unleash my inner self, which is actually a fun loving, spirited woman who is comfy in about any environment, casual to formal.  But I refuse to lower myself into the gutter to satisfy some knucklehead's sexual fantasy unless it is mine! (grin)

      Stay safe out there and enjoy life!

      Traci xoxo

    • April 12, 2017 3:08 PM BST
    • well said Traci and a very wise procedure. I'm on OK Cupid with no real intention of meeting anyone. But it is nice to get flattering comments from handsome young men- some of them are really young. Can't understand what they want with a woman my age.

    • April 6, 2017 6:53 AM BST
    • Interesting topic...thnx for bringing it up!

      I had joined a couple of "straight" dating sites where the only option for gender was the binary "M" or "F".  I'd check "F" but in my profile mention that I was a special girl with a little something different down below.  I left it at that as far as being a trans woman while creating an interesting profile designed to attract an inteligent, well rounded, but open minded person.  

      I was very surprised at the number of men who reached out to me that actually understood just who I was and stated that they were very interested in learning more about me and wished to meet up, a typical response in a binary world.  In further communication, quite a few expressed that they were totally fine with dating a passable trans woman while some fit into that "admirer" or even "chaser" mode as described in the thread earlier.  Throughout our communication, I make it clear that I'm not your typical girl but do not say I'm trans unless they bring it up.  If they are not picking up on that part, I know they are not good listeners and have only one thing on their minds.  It helps explain just why they are on these sites to begin with as they probably have difficulty connecting with women in their face to face living.

      I am very careful in who I might meet and have a series of "tests" I use to screen them in hopes of who truly sees me as a cool person or who just wants to suck on my little weenie to satisfy their fetish or whatever.  Those guys (the ones who want to dive right down on me) get identified and called out and blocked forever.  First and foremost, I want to actually like the person I'm going to meet and hopefully he created the spark in me that says "I must meet this guy, he seems really neat"! But equally as important to me, the man must demonstrate decent social skills in how he communicates his thoughts, his desires, his outlook, his personality.  If he has little or no sense of humor, or seems to be in too much of a rush, or ignores my obvious clues as I direct the conversation to where it requires a little bit of a brain, then they don't "advance" in my "process".  Shoot, I can afford to be selective.  I will not lower myself to appear as a lesser person or weaker one in order to get a date.  That only leads to disappointment in the long term.  I am not "desparate".

      After a while, most men fall into "patterns" easily identifiable that simplify saying "yes" to a meet or date.  And if you can identify and be honest with yourself about the type of guy who you're interested in, makes the process a ton easier.  It seems cold and heartless as described, but my gut tells me we deserve better than most guys are willing to give us and to accept being treated as less than a special, wonderful, amazing woman is just not something we ought waste time with.

      And just as Jessica mentioned, I too, fall for the person without regards to their gender...in fact, gender to me in not binary and really not a big deal.  It really is all about the person, not the organs or presentation...if the person's cool, then cool!  It's just ultimately "labels" that peg everyone and labels do not measure one's soul! (smile)

      Sorry...I got off topic a bit, but my comment somehow seemed an appropriate response!

      Traci xoxo

    • April 3, 2017 10:46 PM BST
    • I've tried it both ways Cristine. When I'm upfront before a meeting, I either get dropped immediately or I attract one of the willie suckers as you put it. I find that given a chance to know me, perhaps a few dates but of course pre sex, some of the guys actually stick around. I think by then I'll have a clue about how this guy will take the news.

    • April 27, 2017 9:55 PM BST
    • Yes I am an accountant, have a degree in accountancy, hate it, but it keeps the wolve's from the door, I never registered, just work from home, but I now have a law degree,  I hope to specialise in the UK gender recognition act & the relevant sections of the EHRC that affect, Trans people, but I am finding it hard to find a place within chambers to do my practical pupilage, so I can obtain my licence to practice and be called to the bar and it costs a fortune for all the regalia.

    • April 27, 2017 9:16 PM BST
    • Thanks for this Cristine,

       

      Trying to get information via the prisons, even for those who work in the system, can be a long process.  So anyway, although we deal with a variety of prisoners, since sub contracting, we do not always know how the prison systems work.  I will look this up and probably end up with more infor than the POs.  Not a surprise, I sometimes learn more from inside times that through regular sources.

       

      Like the new profile picture by the way.  I must sort one out for myself, but have to be careful due to the nature of my place of work.

       

      Oh, I forgot to ask.  You said you were an accountant.  ACCA?

       

      Next question.  There is a LGBT conference in Birminham at the end of June.  Have you heard anything about it and is it worth attending?

       

      Alice

    • April 18, 2017 10:54 PM BST
    •  

      Alice the relevant sections, references.

      Where there are issues to be resolved, a case conference must be convened and a multi-disciplinary risk assessment should be completed to determine how best to manage a transsexual prisoner’s location. See Annex D for more details”. Annex D then says: “D.1 Some transsexual people will be sufficiently advanced in the gender reassignment process that it may be appropriate to place them in the estate of their acquired gender, even if the law does not yet recognise they are of their acquired gender.

    • April 18, 2017 10:43 PM BST
    • Hi Cristine,

       

      Thanks for the update.  I can only state what I have seen in my prison and we have quite a large trans population.  It could be that the prisoners do not have all of the necessary paperwork in place yet.  But I will have a look on NOMS and see what the latest information is on this.  If I am able to I will update.  But a lot depends upon what I have access to and am allowed to post.  I will definately have a look at the legislation you have listed and see what we are doing about it.

       

      Alice.

    • April 18, 2017 10:35 PM BST
    • Alice in the UK one is not compelled to have surgery to qualify to be recognised as a woman, there may be contributing factors why they cannot, health, religion, or just personal choice, if a person has changed all their documents, they must be considered as transgendered, if the have undergone the full term of RLE, they are entitled to have the GRB consider their application to have their birth certificate changed.   Legally they are then entitled to all the options of their new gender, unlike some countries in the EU where surgery is a requisite, some EU countries do not have a Gender recognition Act at all, so in my opinion are in breach of the EHRC, enforced medical procedures.   At the moment with legal aid, a person in the UK can appeal to the HRC in Strasbourg if they feel their rights have been breached,    The countries that insist on surgery before recognition, that's incorporated in their Gender recognition Act, accepted by the Strasburg agreement. rather conflicting the essence and foundation  of the EHRC.

      As to what is available private prisons, the laws are explicit and it is up to the prisons governing body the Ministry of prisons a government department.

    • April 18, 2017 10:12 PM BST
    • I do not know about Russian prisons.  But these are the people who gave us the Gullag, so I would not expect too much.  

       

      The UK prison system will still put a trans woman in a male prison, until such time as they actually undergo surgery.  That said, every prison will have a VP (Vulnerable Prisoners) wing.  However, you also have VP prisons.  However, a Cat A or B prison with your usual mix of criminals is not the ideal place for a transgender person to feel comfortable or safe.  There are some Cat Cs that are better.  In any event, people who identify themselves as trans, or who come out in prison, are observed more closely for signs of bullying etc.  There are also transgender newsletters and societies that meet regularly.  So although still having to serve time in a prison, the UK system takes more care to ensure safety than many other nations.  

       

      Remand prisons will work slightly differently in how they are run and it may also depend upon who runs the prison.  If private contractors, that may present a problem.  But generally, if it is a part of the HMPS, then you will find that steps have been taken to ensure that extra care is taken of transgender prisoners.

       

      Alice

    • April 18, 2017 10:32 PM BST
    • OK, this is about 2 years after the event, but I am new here, so am hitting the backlog for topics.

       

      I am very familiar with depression.  I pretty much started at 12 with mild depression.  I didn't have many friends at school and suffered quite a bit on the bullying front.  Well having all of my fingers broken, two broken ribs and a broken nose, along with various other injuries before I went to secondary school tends to send a clear message with regard to popularity.  I suffered from depression for about ten years.  I eventually found a workaround, that pretty much meant identifying all of my weak areas and tackling them piece by piece.  Not ideal.  But pretty much self hate, loathing, the whole nine yards.  I pulled out of it, but it was not easy.  The problem was that I was too close to the problem and could not find a way out.  The thing is, it didn't need to take that long or be that severe.  The solution is simple.  Ask for help.  Get any help that you can.  You are not alone and should not have to suffer on your own before finding your answers.

       

      Use your GP.  They will try simple medication, or get you a referral.  But be honest with yourself and them.

       

      I hpe this helps somebody.

       

      Alice.

    • April 11, 2017 10:59 PM BST
    • Oh yeah.  I forgot one obviouse thing.  By taking up cycling you have the perfect excuse to shave your legs and nobody will bat an eyelid.

       

      :)

    • April 11, 2017 10:46 PM BST
    • Hi:

      I used to keep my stash in cardboard boxes in the attic over the garage. Fortunately the attic had pull down stairs making access easier. I worked at home and my wife worked about an hour out of town. So after she would leave for wor work, I would go to the attic and select what I wanted to wear.

      Well, I eventually confessed to my wife and she tolerated it for 10 years then we divorced. I now live by myself in a condo. And I now have a walk-in closet with a shoe tree. Much more convenient. Only need to stash my growing wardrobe when friends and family come over, which is not often.

       

      -Rhonda

    • April 10, 2017 9:28 PM BST
    • Hi.

       

      OK keeping it hidden.  I use stashes.  The problem with the attick is that it is too obvious and not easy to get to.  So I have things like a bag behind the bath pannel, covered with a few rags so that it looks like something the workmen left behind.  Also, in the garage, you can use tool boxes.  Hiding in plain sight.  You can also put padlocks on these, with the excuse of not making it easy for theives to use your own tools against you.  Things like that.  There are a few other stashes, but generally, when I get a chance, I need to be able to access it quickly.

       

      ;)

    • April 10, 2017 9:21 PM BST
    • A lot depends upon the size and style of heal.  My first pair were a set of 2 1/2 strappy sandle, with quite a blocky heal.  These were easy to walk in because of the relatively square heal.  However, I had to go and get a set of red courts, with a 4" stillie heal.  Ummm.  These are definatey for looking good in when you get into and out of a cab.  Not ideal for walking and my feat killed me after a few hours of dancing.  I have found that a plaster on the heal can help if they rub, but also gell inserts, like "Happy Feet" work wonders.  Golden rule, once on, keep them on.  If you take them off during the evening, they are hell to get back on.

       

      :)

    • April 10, 2017 4:10 PM BST
    • I spent a day at the beach while our family was on vacation there for a week.  I swiped one of my sister's two piece bathing suits and wandered to a separate beach from where they usually hung out.  I was all of 15 then and was still physically immature, so I truly resembled a flat chested young teen girl, voice and all.  I had many boys come by my blanket and flirt and one even asked me out for a date that night.  From that moment on I was "on my way" so to say, although I had been dressing since I was 3 or so with my mother's help! (smile)  But mind you, this was 1965 and I felt so alone and really had no way to move forward.  It wasn't something you discussed with others because authorities and medical people would just lock you up back then!

      Better late than never...

      Traci xoxo

    • April 9, 2017 7:43 PM BST
    • I had a confused childhood too. I was male and I liked girls- not as a sexual object, but rather as a role model. Then too, mother groomed me as a girl. She sent me to a teen dance once dressed in a flirty skirt and a really low cut top. One of the boys invited me out to his car for a drink of whiskey. His hands were all over me and he soon had my top down. He had an enormous ejaculation and I loved the effect I had on men. Since then I'm attracted to men.

    • April 8, 2017 8:23 PM BST
    • I had a very difficult childhood which I won't go into, as far as sexual preferences, when I was young I prefered girls, because I hated men, as I got older I needed recognition as a girl, needed to be treated like one and slept with quite a few men until the realisation that most of them did'nt see me as a girl, the majority of them were either married closet homosexuals or just basic tranny shaggers, then at 18 ish fell in love with an old school friend, a boy who turned out to be different as well.    School was very hard,    I still live within a few miles of the school I attended, and now and again see other boys that made my life hell.

    • April 7, 2017 2:53 PM BST
    • wow, terrific article Cristine. I had never heard of this condition. But I'd be interested in hearing about the difficulties you faced growing up and interacting with other kids. how has this affected your sexuality?

    • April 6, 2017 8:29 PM BST
    • Hi Rhonda,    I started to develop breasts at 14, I was born with a condition called Reifensteins Syndrome a form of AIS,  Where either the androgen receptor is defective or the encoding gene is mutated.    Lots ecplained in this link.

       

      http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/7790/synopsis-of-the-etiology-of-gender

       

      I did a thesis on the condition when I was diagnosed, rather juvenile, but rehashed it a few years ago for an article on here and it was published in a magazine.

       

      http://gendersociety.com/articles/176/the-science-behind-reifenstein-s-syndrome

    • April 6, 2017 8:07 PM BST
    • Indeed it was difficult to deal with large breasts in boyhood. I could have had a mastectomy of course, but early on I discovered they were highly erogenous. That plus my mother's encouragement caused me to treasure them, albeit undercover for most of my life.

    • April 6, 2017 6:47 PM BST
    • OMG, I wish I were you! (smile)  My mother, upon me bugging her all the time to let me dress as a girl and play with them at age 3 or so, finally capitulated and dressed me in my sister's clothing, applied nail polish, and let go out to the apartment's playground.  This went on for at least a year until my father came home from work early one day and found me dressed outside!!!  He then proceeded to "beat the girl out of the boy" and scolded me frequently.  So I did what any logical little girl would do and that was to dress behind closed doors in our apartment.  My mother knew what was going on but turned her cheek to it all just making sure I changed back before my father would return.  This went on my entire youth.  But although I put on my mother's lingerie, I had nothing in the way of breasts.  I'd dream what seems almost every night of waking up with a female body only to be disappointed when I did awake and found nothing had changed.  

      So to answer your question, I did not have gynecomastia, but at least I had a mother similar to yours who allowed and even enabled me to be me.  When I transitioned 7+ years ago, she had entered a stage of dementia and always thought I was one of my sisters.  Nothing I could say could persuade her otherwise!  (smile)

      HRT has provided me with a very feminine body and I finally do not have to settle for just my dreams to live my life!

      That siad, it must have been awkward for you to live as a boy with fairly large breasts!!!!  But I'd have given anything to be in your shoes...(smile)

      Welcome to the site!

      Traci xoxo

    • April 6, 2017 3:20 PM BST
    • Gynecomastia or abnormal enlargement of the male breast affects many young boys, most of whom 'grow' out of it. I was a case who didn't grow out of it and who developed 38C cups by the late teens. I was perhaps different in that my mother was delighted with my breasts and who took every opportunity to feminize me. And I admit, I loved it. I'm very sure that this led to my eventual transition to full time woman. So, my question is: Are there any forum members who had a similiar course of events leading to their transition?

    • April 8, 2017 10:23 PM BST
    • Ki Cristine,

       

      Yeah, I wasn't impressed with the article either.  Grrr.

    • April 8, 2017 10:20 PM BST
    • Not so much a knee jerk reaction because someone got medical treatment  at great expense in prison, it was the headline, transexual rapist, alluding to transexuals, that transexuals are all violent perverts, its a damn slur against all other transexuals, I take the same view if it said vicar is pervert rapists, sensationalising it was a vicar alluding to all clergy being of the same ilk.   If another prisoner had toothache, or broke his back trying to escape, that prisoner would still be entitled to treatment, if somone is incacerated with cancer, then they would be entitled to ongoing treatment, even if they were a rapist.

    • April 8, 2017 9:59 PM BST
    • Alex so nice to have erudite and thoughtful people here on GS.   Gender Identity problems, are very complex, I have spent most of my adult life studying various aspect of the causes, from a clinical and mental aspect written papers and even had a thesis published,    Most older people that are now realising their needs have lived through years of supression, knowing only too well the impact, 'coming out' would have on their lives, from employment to family, friends and collegues.   A true trans person will eventually commit to a change to make the most of what time they have left, to be contented and even a modicome of hapiness.   for those of us that have inherited some clinical cause that has caused us to appear 'acceptable, and transitioned at a younger age, may have found in some way it was easier, those that have left it late, will have been accepted into society and built up a male charteristic appearance, that does not change who they are.    The common rhetoric is that if a person has been abused, they will grow into an abuser, this is something I can never understand, the logic, surely if somone has been abused, the last thing they would want to do is inflict the same suffering on someone else.

    • April 8, 2017 9:37 PM BST
    • Hi Cristine,

       

      Yeah, I read this report.  It even made it ont aunty Beeb.  The problem is that this is knee jerk journalism.  Shock horror, a rapist is getting something paid for by the tax payer.  I have an issue with this, or at least the report.  Firstly, giving the persons new name.  That is a serious no no.  The person has a right to get on with their lives once they have left the prison system.  Having served their time, they should be allowed to prove that they have learned from their mistakes and be given the chance to make ammends.

       

      There are currently about 80 transgender prisoners in the UK, with about ten in my own establishment.  I do not have the particulars of this individual case and I would not discuss them in any event.  However, a large part of being a prisoner is rehabilitation.  If the offender has gender issues that need addressing and, in so doing, thay are rehabilitated, then so be it.  I do not see the problem with the handling of this persons case.  They are still serving their original conviction, but have just been transfered to a female prison.    Also, as far as rehabilitation goes, you don't get more definate than this.  A rapist who changes gender isnt going to be commiting male rape again.  Perhaps that is not the PC answer, but.....

      That said.  Rape is about control and male dominance.  It is about having power over another.  I have trouble reconciling this with somebody who is trans.  Gender is about core identity and from what I understand, this should be something that the individual is aware of from an early age.  So how do people discover that their core identity is different in a later period after commiting a crime like this?  I don't know.  

      But that said, many of the transgender population that I deal with have discovered their true identity in prison.  So it is something that confuses me.  But that said, if you find that your core identity isn't what you thought it was, then I believe that you have the right to be yourself, as long as you don't hurt other people.  But anyway.  Rambling again.  I tend to ramble a lot.  

      Back to public perception.  According to the Sun prisons are wonderful places and that the prisoner referred to in the article must have had a jolly time at the taxpayers expense.  Yet even though I work in a relatively easy VP establishment, it is still evident that all is not well with many of the tg prison population.  The evidence is usually all over their arms where they have been self harming, or where prisoners have attempted suicide.  Some trans prisoners have even attempted DIY surgery.  So the least that I can do is offer help and compasion.  Anyway, thats my take on the question and I hope it helps.

      :)

    • April 8, 2017 2:36 PM BST
    •     an extract, one should read the entire thread to get the gist. all to often the minority of crimes commited by transgender people are sensationalised soley because the person is transgendered, as if the reason for the crime was caused by their condition.   you dont have to be a starving transexual to steal a loaf of bread, by the same token one does not have to be a transexual to be a sexual deviant, rapist. 

       http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/10385/privacy-and-expectations-under-the-gra-2004-amp-ehrc

      **Emotions should not be a factor in a case like this. She got what she needed a provision in law, surgery etc, and she is entitled to privacy as a transgendered person, as such she should not be ridiculed, harrased, bullied for being transgendered. BUT as a convicted rapist it goes with the ''job'' ie, racing drivers take the risk of inury by being involved in a crash, if they get hurt they accept it as part of the job they do, other drivers if they are inured by another driver who drives while drunk, thats another matter. Convicted rapist can expect to be villified, but being a transgendered person should not be alluded to regarding the crime. All to often these occasions are sensationalised by the press as if it was because a person is transgendered and that was a reason for commiting such a dastardly offence.**

    • April 7, 2017 11:51 PM BST
    • Hi Melissa,

       

      I work in a Cat C sex offender prison.  My perception of sex offenders?  All crime is about self.  I deserve that money more than you do.  I have a right to take what I want.  I am sick of being poor and want nice things.  You get the idea.  It is the same for sex offenders.  They are selfish and it is all about them.  They can not understand why they are in prison.  They talk about all of the injustice that they have faced and will blame anybody else for their own situation.  Rapists, for example are, as a breed, arrogant.  They can not understand why they are in prison and show little regret.  Pedos.  Yeah, about that. I had a visitor doing an observation recently.  They commented that the most frightening thing was, having visited other prisons, how nice they seemed.  So normal and friendly.  And that is how they got into prison.  They manipulate, they gain trust, they look inocent.  And that is the most frightening part.

       

      The thing is.  There are people out there who the general public need to be protected against.  They have no regret for, to quote a few NOMS files, will have kidnapped and raped under 13 year old children.  They have no compassion for the victim and feel that they are being hard done to, especially the IPP prisoners.  But at the end of the day, once you take the vengence element out of sentencing, society still needs to be protected from these people.

       

      Sex offenders register?  Damn right.  Although I would question how public this needs to be, the authorities need to keep a track of sex offenders.  There are some things that you can not rehabilitate.  So the police need to know who is in the area and who to keep an eye on.

       

      :)

    • April 8, 2017 9:36 PM BST
    • As far as education and studies go, I never wanted to be an engineer, fireman, but never wanted to be a nany or a nurse, I did quite well at school, but never had a desire for a particular career, I left school at 16 went into book keeping, was conveniant, I could work from home, never liked it, progressed and became an accountant, never registered, quite happy to do my own thing, went of to Germany at 18 to work in a trans club in Hamburg, came home after six years after having surgery, started up my own practice, got involved over the years with this site and got into law, the rights of trans people regarding the gender recognition Act and the EHRC, eventually getting  a law degree.   I don't understand the difference or the point you are trying to get to, people become students, trying to achieve a goal, regardless of how they approach it, transgender or not I don't think that comes into it, there is either a basic instinct to learn or some people through neccesity just take up the most rewarding employment they can get from a monetary aspect, some others are just wasters and scivers, envious of those that have worked hard to achieve something, be it material possesions or status, apart from the male female discrimination I don't think being a trans persons ambition or way of learning is different to any 'normal' persons,   of course bigotry and transphobia can impact on the persons life during the learning and their advancement and acceptance in any career the choose.

    • April 8, 2017 8:55 PM BST
    • Hi Cristine,

       

      Yeah, I have tried to leave the pre-concieved at the door.  I have found a lot of biggotry, even from the academic sector where trans people are concerned.  Many of my co-workers use terms like "IT" and thing to descibe a fellow human.  Grrrrr.  Sorry, another rant.

       

      By the way, my study is primarily about the preference for portfolio vs traditional exams and the general preference/success.  So it is not really about transgender, but more about separating transgeder responses from traditional m/f data and seeing if there is a data spike.  So not a COGIATI type of test, which I tend to view as a poor teen mag pop quiz.  However, thats my feelings.

       

      I should also perhaps confess that my interest is not purely accademic and that I have some things that I want answers to about myself.  So if I start asking questions that appear off topic, bear with me.

       

      ;)

    • April 8, 2017 2:49 PM BST
    • I should imagine that in todays liberated society, ''sex'' is not so important as to the person you have empathy with perhaps fall in love with, this is particularly important for transgendered people.   I admit I despair of some researchers, that come here, they have preconceived ideas, don't bother to read up on studies, based on fact that transgender people have done themselves, fact not favourably biased made up drivel that quantify the feelings they have, to ratify their existence.    Do you know what heteronormativity is?    I am always willing to share the things I have learned, how I evolved and leads to factual evidence, written by more capable people than myself.   For rubbish, read Michal Baileys book, 'The man who would be Queen'' one realy has to be familiar with the drivel and uninformed to differentiate between reality and the crap that some ignoramus write.

    • April 7, 2017 10:13 PM BST
    • One of he problems that I have noted is that much of the research seems to be on bullying and social acceptance.  I was interested to note that nobody actually asked teh serious questions about, for example, is there a difference between how a transgender female studies and how a natal female studies.  Is there a difference?  But again, by concentrating on just the trans data, many people are not actually looking for viable data spikes, but are simply labeling people as different and trying to find out what makes them different.

       

      I am rambling and yes I have my own study going on, but I feel that as soon as you ask somebody about being transgender you will corrupt your data, since you run the risk of being told what they think is a good answer to re-enforce their trans status.  The act of observation changing the nature of the thing being observed.  Pass.

       

      Anway, to answer the question.  From my own observations, it appears that trans people want to get on with their lives in their true gender.  But people get confused with sex and gender which makes it harder to live the life desired.

       

      ;)

    • April 7, 2017 10:00 PM BST
    • The COGIATI test relies on some very shady assumptions.  Well, generalisations really.  The idea is that boys are good at maths and girls are good at communication.  So the idea is that if you score well with situational awareness, can hear well and are good at English, then it follows that you are m to f trans.  Another test, which utilizes the same questions, is the SAGE.  This also assumes that, if you are into cars and like tool magazines, then you must have a male brain.

       

      The problem with this sort of test is that it can tell you what you want to here and the basic mechanics of the questions are quite obviouse, so that anybody taking it can tell the test what you want it to do.  So giving false answers because they push the results that you want.  This, in itself, should tell you everything that you want to know.  In fact, the fact that you are taking the test at all is sufficient to raise the fact that you may have gender issues, since anybody who is comfortable within their birth gender would not probably be looking at a COGIATI test.

       

      Also, the possibility that your lifestyle might not fit the normal gender norms for your birth gender may give a false positive.  When I took the thing it pinged up as stage 4, while SAGE gave me a 475 rating and the advice that I was Trans, but too ugly to wear a frock.  Who knew?

       

      On a more positive note.  If you believe that you are trans and take the test, then it may confirm what you already know and add some credibility to your belief.  However, it does make some big assumptions and if you are concerned about your score, go and see a therapist that specializes in gender issues.  A much better diagnosis gained by one of those people, rather than some online tean mag style test.

       

      :)

       

    • April 6, 2017 8:42 PM BST
    • I love it when people ask questions, relevant and inteligent, some of us have spent nearly a lifetime asking why, how and why me.   Some don't care, some just are not interested, but I needed to know, even if it was obly to be able to say ''I told you so''

      http://gendersociety.com/articles/386/how-does-the-two-gender-system-impact-you

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

       

    • April 6, 2017 3:12 PM BST
    • Thank you girls and yes there is something I'd like to ask. I'll post it under the general forum titled gynecomastia.

    • April 6, 2017 10:52 AM BST
    • Some threads in the forums are still being added to years after they were first posted, being updated, as new information becomes available.    Clinical evaluations of Gender Identity disorders, legal aspects of transexeuals.     Things are changing daily.     Perhaps some people are more inclined to add to the educational ones.   We must considere that some topicis have been exhausted,, try reading some of the more evocative and informative threads and adding to them or start a new thread linked to an old one.

       

      http://gendersociety.com/articles/386/how-does-the-two-gender-system-impact-you

    • April 6, 2017 6:05 AM BST
    • Are there any topics you'd like to address or are curious about? Some of us have been here a long time and have seen it all so to say...but we can share valuable experience and insight into many topics. You won't be "judged" in here so feel free to open up or ask questions!
      xoxo

    • April 5, 2017 3:45 PM BST
    • Going down the General Forum first page I see some of the latests posts were 2011 and 2012. So where is the latest acvtivity? I really do enjoy a forum exchange.