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    • November 11, 2018 4:20 PM GMT
    • well to begin i am older then most of you. (65) then there's this gender thing, it all started with a costume club called "Acting Out" club and for $100 per year you got to go to 4 party's that year.it was 1980 and for the Christmas party everyone had to do a skit, which was great idea TILL they announced the theme " switch gender " now the group i was in was 4 ladies and me. they were thrilled. fast forward to the night of the party, the gals had come up with a skit of >Johnny b Good join the army and left his GIRL {wink wink} behind. she sit on the front porch and gets visits from the mail man,the local cop, then the two men with the flag. 3 hrs before hand i am standing in my living room shaved legs and all the FEMALE equipment that a 50's gal would wear, yes every thing! one of the ladies had wigs so that was easy, but THANK GOD for bab's she had been a makeup artist for one of the movie studios in Cal. into the chair, and whoosh she did her magic and i do mean magic! when done i was allowed to see myself in the full leght mirror! HOLY COW! where did this WOMAN come from i was fabulious. we took 2nd place and decided to get coffee afterwards, while we sat  and talked i was approiched by not 1 but 5 men that wanted me to "LEAVE THESE OLD FARTS"

      i never felt like that again, it was 2016 i was thinking of doing the deed and ending it all when that tiny voice said "When were you the happiess?" bam that night in 1980, it took another year to accept ALICE was going to come out! now! i am learning everythiing i can to be the best LADY i can. NO i will never be a skinny model, BUT i sure can pass as someone AUNTIE!

    • July 21, 2018 4:15 PM BST
    • Hi people,
      I found this resource on internet and I dediced to try looking for someone else like me.
      I started crossdressing in my early 20s and did it with pleasure and success: it started as a Halloween joke (as for many others, I guess) and it went on for years.
      I have never been secretive about it but social stigma prevented me from doing it on daily basis.

      My opinion is that crossdressing is just dressing. Makeup, clothes, shoes, wigs: this has nothing to do with sex, for me. I am a man and feel like a man whatever I am wearing. I love female clothing and I am super fetishist abuto female shoes. I love women's body shape and I never liked men at all. 
      This puzzles most of men but, thankfully, not many women. That's one more reason to love women: they understand that I can love them even wearing fishnets and platform wedges and a bright wig.

      I have pretty different and personal opinions on what is crossdressing or transgenderism, and often I have been bashed because of my opinions. It's my view on this world and I have the right to see things in my way. 

      So, if in the future I will say things you find offensive or unpleasant, please forgive me and believe me when I say it's nothing against anyone, and it's purely my opinion.

      Cya

      Macirda

    • May 29, 2018 3:03 PM BST
    • Wow Katia, an incredible story that really moved me...thank you so much for sharing it with us!!  Glad to hear that things have worked out for you.  Continued happiness for you hon!!

      Hugs, Monika

    • May 22, 2018 6:58 PM BST
    • Haha, the confusing decor!! A familiar topic. My home is sort of bohemian, but very feminine in a way, with lots of glittery fabrics and painted furniture and hearts hanging at the windows etc (no pink, though, I hate pink, lol). Then there's a bunch of no-nonsense woodworking tools and people go, "Oh, your husband tools all over the place, eh? That's men for you.", and me, "Er... no, those are mine." lol

      I get very tired sometimes that for many people embracing a non-binary view of gender means you have to go all the way to the other pole and stay there. It's not non-binary, it's just another form of black-and white picture... I like being in between and back and forth. I'd prefer to be in-between from the male side of things, but, oh well. Next incarnation, maybe? :)

      My husband is a keeper. I occasionally want to smack him, but mostly in a good way, lol.

      Be well, always! Hugs!

    • May 22, 2018 5:04 PM BST
    • "For better or worse, though, reality is a terrible narrator and has a way of screwing up a perfectly good storyline." Oh, how true!

       

      I like what you say about being "gender conscious" and agender-bigender. I long ago stopped trying to explain myself, mostly because the labels I think fit best just confuse the hell our of people, but I cling to bigender or genderfluid. I see gender as this great big spectrum, from pink to blue, skirts to shorts, Star Wars action figures to Barbie dolls, and I'm comfortable floating along it, never really touching one extreme or the other.

       

      My home office (where I spend about 9 hours a day) reflects that. Visitors who pop in look at the walls (baby blue with pink accents) and get confused, then look at my bookshelves (where MLP unicorns and DC Super Hero Girls frolick alongside Indiana Jones figures and Star Wars LEGO) and get even more confused.

       

      I must admit, though, I am utterly fascinated by your marriage and how the two of you make it work. He must be an amazing soul - so glad you have him!

    • November 28, 2017 1:46 AM GMT
    • Brilliantly written Katia, and very moving. And I'm not even going to ask for cake.

      But if there's any going...

      xx

    • November 27, 2017 6:24 PM GMT
    • I love that attitude Katy!!!  Yes, like yourself, my purpose of remaining here and contributing when and where I can can be pretty much summed up by saying if I even make just one person's journey or life better thru shared experience, prior life time experiences and the like, then it will be well worth the time and effort.  I think others do the same in here...plenty of good people in here!

      Stay sane...it's a pretty decent "reality"! (smile)

      Love,

      Traci xoxo

    • November 27, 2017 11:45 AM GMT
    • Hey you two both and thanks for the kind words! I am also very happy to have you in my life, and thanks for letting me in... and letting me rant a little from time to time :)

      I think the reason why I remained relatively sane through all that is that I spent(d) so much time living in different universes that there was just so much damage a single reality could do to me. Of course living 70-80% of time more or less disconnected from reality it a very relative sort of sanity, but oh well. At least I am not very dangerous to other people, lol.

      These days I am really quite happy about 9 days out of 10, so really, nothing to complain about... it was a strange long way to come to this point, and it was not until this year that I came to put all this into words. I wrote this book, fiction, mind, but with lots of real life expreience in it, and somehow it all came loose.

      Which feels good.

      Part of why I wrote it all out is that I think there are so many young (and less young) people locked in terrible dark places... I wanted to share this and say, hey, believe me I've been thre, don't give up, there's goodness out there, and there is also happiness in the in-between bits of rainbow ;)

      Reach for that goodness, and never quit trying.

      Love and hugs all 'round.

      K

    • November 27, 2017 7:55 AM GMT
    • Simply incredible life story,  Katy. Reminds me of the Mark Twain quote about truth being stranger than fiction because Fiction is obliged to stick to possibities whereas Truth isn't. Thank you for sharing this with us. It will take me a while to get my head wrapped around such abuse. Love, Kanisha 

    • November 25, 2017 5:58 PM GMT
    • I like chocolate cakes or anything with honey and cinnamon! (smile)

       

      Geez Katy, that you're even close to sane is a remarkable achievement considering the "adult" environment you were subjected to.  I guess dysfunctional families is not just an American thing.  your step grandma is right out of a Dickens novel...what an awful human being!  I cannot imagine how dark that person's soul must be and how in the world one might live like that!!! Whenever I've faced darkness in the form of life, I've always found a way to seek and find "light".  Maybe that's just a survival thing in turning away and probably unrealistic to expect to go thru life without conflict, but like yourself, I had enough going on internally about gender to want to have to carry even more weight on my shouders if it could have been avoided.

       

      Fortunately, you discovered the essence of you, that remarkably talented, hard working, creative soul that is capable of making good things and those around you happier thru your works!  Sadly, too many people never recognize nor are willing to reach for it and thus much beauty is lost to our future!  If you actually stopped and looked at yourself and how things have worked out, hopefully you will find a moment to pat yourself on the back for all the good you're doing and have done!!!  I think you are a pretty special person!

       

      Thank you for sharing this about yourself...it must be painful to go back, but then again, you have turned things around and have come out stronger than ever!!!

       

      So big hugs all around...and please feel free to ask me anything and also just share your feelings and emotions anytime you need an ear or shoulder to lean on!!  I'm glad I'm your friend!!!  Thank you for letting me into your life!!

       

      Love,

       

      Traci xoxo

    • November 25, 2017 2:53 PM GMT
    • Part 3

      Epilogue

       

      Now. If this was a romance novel, that would have been the END.

      The ugly duckling turns into a beautiful woman and she drives into the sunset with her hero, happy ever after.

      For better or worse, though, reality is a terrible narrator and has a way of screwing up a perfectly good storyline.

      Did I blossom into a beautiful woman? Ah ah. No.

      Well. I did come to accept that I was a woman and I didn’t hate it, which is something.

      But I remained a pretty dudish sort of woman. I never picked a woman’s job, for one (well, except once, oh my! Me, cooped up in an office with a bunch of other women! In a matter of weeks it became clear that a multiple chainsaw massacre was imminent and I quit. lol). No I was much happier in guy jobs. I was a metal worker for years, and loved it.

      I often have extremely vivid dreams of being a man. Very tall, very strong, and… ahem … well equipped.

      From time to time I go into intensely female phases when I get all fussed about shoes and mascara and epilators, but usually after a couple of months I go and buy myself a good crowbar or a new drill, and then I feel better.

      It’s not even that I alternate between male and female, simply.

      It’s more like go through phases when I am intensely gender conscious, and very aware of both my male and female side, and I want to be *both* a good looking woman and a seriously kickass kind of dude, and periods when I can’t be arsed either way , and I feel very much “Male, female, who cares, quit screwing around, and get the job done, Katy.”

      A friend with whom I talked about this a lot probably nailed it when she said that I am a sort a sort of agender-bigender bipolar personality. I don’t know if this is a thing, but it seems tres moi.

      The bigender periods are both exhilarating and devastating. I am more intensely alive, and more easily depressed. I never really got the hang of being a woman, but I am definitely not manly enough to be a bloke, so it tends to be a bit disappointing all round. On the other hand, I can pretty up if really try and don’t expect to look like a film star, and I can do lots of man things better than most men. I can weld and turn, and build a reciprocal roof, and cob buildings and my stone masonry makes professional builders stare in disbelief. So, there. Ah!

      The agender periods, are just, well, I get stuff done, and life goes on, very bland and kinda pointless.

      I haven’t really tried to pass as a guy in almost 20 years (even if it still happens now and then, accidentally, and briefly). I never even considered transitioning. When I was young in Italy it was practically unheard of, and then, well, life didn’t go that way. I am *very* happily married with a VERY heterosexual man, who takes my weirdness onboard with great patience, but would be very hard put what to do with a dude in his bed.

      I am resigned to be what I am. Ultimately I am first and foremost a fearsomely creative person and I define myself by what I do, not by I am (mostly).

      Most of the time, that is enough for happiness.  There are bad day. But, then we all have bad days.

       

      Wow, if you made it to the end, you deserve a cake. :)

       

       

    • November 25, 2017 2:48 PM GMT
    • Part 2

      The Dark Ages

       

      Then, when I was 7, my mother remarried with a brute and my ordeal with bullying and psycological (and occasionally physical) abuse began.

      Who would have though. My stepfather was very young, tall, elegant for a labourer, handsome and sort of shy. He was also a totally self-absorbed, mean, petty, infantile asshole, as became obvious  long before they married. But my mom badly needed a good shag I guess, so she married him anyway, after less than six months since meeting him. I do hope the shagging was worth it.

      When we moved to my stepfather house to live with his parents my life changed so drastically that I became sick. At my mother's place I had been used to be somewhat wild but loved and cuddled all round. In this new place absolute formality was the rule, laughing and playing were discouraged, and any outward manifestation of affection was frowned upon. My stepfather's family was also poor, but city-poor. Absolute decor and respectability was to be observed at all times. A good deal of hypocrisy was deployed to "keep up the appearances". The most remarkable person in the family was the mother of my stepfather. A withered old **** no bigger than a moderate dog, with enough vitriol in her to melt down the Titanic. She is to this day one of the few genuinely evil persons I have ever met. She dedicated her life to "caring" for her sick husband, a man who had had some heart trouble and now lived like a prisoner in his wife's care. The day my mother married her precious youngest son, she did not come to the wedding. The official excuse was that she needed to stay home to care for her husband (bollocks... He was a kindly man and wanted nothing better than coming to the wedding, which was perfectly within his physical capabilities). The true reason is that my mother was not a Christian—the wedding was just a civil wedding—and what was worse, she was a "fallen woman". The embarrassing evidence being, well, me.

      The first few months I lived in this new place I had the most horrid belly cramps at night. It became so bad that one night they drove me to the ER. Nothing physically wrong with me was found and the doctor, once told the history, concluded that it must be psychosomatic. I remember that pain like it was yesterday but ever since then my stepfather accused me or "pretending" to be sick to divert my mom's attention from him.

      Towards me the new granny was mock-sweet and stupendously manipulative. She never missed a chance to remark about my wild upbringing ("grown up without setting foot in church once... Like an animal" verbatim). On one hand she niggled at me for not being her son's daughter, on the other she was miffed that I never ever called him daddy.

      Even in the new house nobody ever tried to make me wear anything pretty, so I remained in my strange gender limbo all through my childhood years. Then one day, heaven save me, the sky broke and I started bleeding. With that came all the disasters of puberty. I had been such a cute child, and then practically overnight I turned into the ugliest teenager you can ever imagine. I had enough acne to fill 4 average teen agers (of any sex). I wore braces for my teeth and thick glasses. I was still dressed as a scarecrow because quite simply I never had any other choice.

      Now my step-granny (is that a word?) started obsessing about my bodily functions. I think she was horrified that a biologically adult female who was no blood relative of her and her son was prowling around the house. Since she did the laundry in the house, she confronted me with every pair of used panties she found, commenting on any smear of anything that might have deposited on them and musing if I had some sickness. It came to the point where I washed my panties by hand in secret or threw them away. Once a crumb of bread that must have been hanging about my jumper fell on the edge of the toilette, unnoticed and remained there after I flushed. She came to my room, dragged me to the bathroom and pointed an accusing finger to the offending object, trembling with rage and whispering "The men must NEVER, EVER know!" I was, like, “Er, what? It's a bread crumb." She leaned closer, looked at it, shook herself and said, "Oh, all right, I thought it was a drop a blood. You know. It must remain hidden." She even commented on the sound of trickling in the toilette when I peed. Apparently I had to stuff the toilette bowl with toilette paper first, so no sound could possibly betray the fact that I was doing anything involving my genitalia.

      She commented on my body all the time, pointing things out to her neighbours as I passed. My legs were too thin. My knees stuck out. My butt was too perky and it made her laugh. She spied on me (and my mom) when we took baths. I soon learnt to hang a sock over the bathroom keyhole before undressing.

      When I started having a choice in the clothes I wore, I started choosing things (still boy things, the idea of getting a skirt never entered even the antechamber of my mind) in bigger and bigger sizes, so nothing of me would show. By the time I was 16 I was literally wearing men clothes in XXL size. I was an XS in women clothes!

      In the meantime, my stepfather had made it a hobby to tease me about my acne (he called me, constantly and casually, at table, even with people Brufolo Bill, brufolo being the italian word for pimple), my ears ("They stick out so far that if you turn your head very quick you will slap your own face!"), and pretty much everything else he could think of that seemed to hurt.

      What was my mom doing in the meantime? Well Nothing, really. All this went on under her very nose, and she never raised the slightest objection.

      I had been such an engaging child, but as a teen ager I turned into an incredibly reclusive, embittered, secretive person. I hid into my room and spent my days reading, writing, studying and painting. And, most of all, dreaming imaginary worlds and imaginary people.

      There were quarrels. Sometimes they only brought down weeks of stonewalling from my stepfather. He would go about the house and sit at meals staring pointedly right through me, as if I didn't exist. As a child that was terrible. Sometimes they became violent, very violent. I was beaten badly a few times. The last time, I remember blood sprayed over half of the kitchen walls as far up as the ceiling.

      What was my mother doing? Nothing. Did she call the police? No. In fact, this is the ironic bit. She WAS the police. She had been a police agent since I was 6. But, in the house she never as much as said a word against her husband.

      I was not really a recluse. I was allowed to go to the town center shopping for books and stuff. I was just  discouraged from making any friends or having any human relationships outside the family. I still managed, out of sheer force of will, not to be totally isolated. Despite my weirdness I never was bullied in school. I was an excellent student and I was simply too flamboyantly peculiar for my schoolmates not to respect me. I didn't have close friends, but I didn't have enemies either.

      When I went out on my own it was a 70 to 30 chance that people would take me for a boy. When they did, I happily rolled with it and introduced myself as Marco.

      When I was 18 I marked the occasion of "coming of age", by having a new haircut. A full blown punk crest, shaved smooth on both sides of my head. That caused a 6 weeks silence in the house, but by then I was used to those, and I didn't give a damn. I also started wearing skinny jeans, lots of black and a sort of goth-girl make up. I didn't look like a girl, I think. I looked like a punk boy trying (halfheartedly) to look like a girl. I started having sex with people. Boys, girls. Sometimes I loved them, sometimes I didn't. I was just so astonished that anybody would want to have sex with me. I seriously considered myself the ugliest duckling ever hatched. I could see it in the mirror every day, and it was confirmed daily by my family interactions. Surprisingly, men flirted with me a lot. Men much older than me. I was insecure as far as my appearance went, but fiercely assured in my cultural and artistic knowledge. I could converse brilliantly. Maybe it was that. I don't know. Maybe shagging a punk girl who could recite poetry in three different languages was a new experience (I didn't like punk music, by the way, just the look).

      When I was 20 I could not take it anymore, and I left university and home. I worked a bit, then moved abroad more or less on a whim (well, it's a long story, but not one I feel like telling). The punk days were gone, and I was back in oversized man clothes. I had a relationship with a lesbian woman twenty years older than me who somehow gave me the first faint taste of self-confidence I had ever had in my life. I bought a skirt that I never wore, and a few pretty tops, which I did wear, over jeans and boots. I had some strange one night stands here and there. Then my project of staying abroad on my own tanked due to bureaucratic difficulties and I had to go back to my parents.

      The pretty tops never came out again until I met D.

      D. was a oung man, couple of years older than me, who used to work with my stepfather (they hated each other). He was (still is) the malest male I ever dated. Blong and rugged, with a pale gold pelt on his chest that you could sell as a bear rug, ice blue eyes, and a spectacular copper-red beard. He was fearsomely strong, but had gentle fingers and kissed sweetly. We were never really together. We were fuckbuddies and friends. We went out for movies and an ice-cream, and sex in the back-seat of his car (all very Italian). He never once commented on my choice of clothes, as such. Once he said, after making love, "I didn't think you would be so sweet. I thought you'd be a rough and tough girl." And then one day he let fall "You would look good in heels and a miniskirt." It was so absurd that it made me laugh. But one day on a whim, I bought a mini skirt and sandals with high heels.

      The thought of wearing them in the flat was unthinkable. Can you imagine, 22 years in boy gear, and then popping out of my room in a mini skirt?? There would have been questions, comments, remarks. Sniggers and teasing. And probably more questions. Although I had a job and was free to come and go, more or less, I preferred to keep my parents in the dark regarding my sex life. It's not that I was afraid of them. I simply didn't want them to be in any way part of my intimate existence.

      So started my career of closet reverse crossdresser. I left the house in drab, stopped in the garage, changed into my pretty new skirt, top and heels, and, without ever having walked a yard in heels in my life, I walked the lentgh that whole f*cking street and met Davide at the press shop in the corner. That I didn't break my neck is still an everlasting marvel to me to this day.

      D. didn't say a thing (I might have killed him if he had). He just put a hand on my thigh when I sat in the car, and said "Let's go somewhere nice." And instead of going to the movies he drove 200 effing kilometers and brought me to the seaside. Just like that. It was the most romantic thing anybody had ever done for me, and it changed my life and almost everything about me. It was... Bliss.

    • November 24, 2017 4:40 PM GMT
    • PS to part 1:

      There are pictures floating around, not from a photographer parlour, but holiday snapshots and such, where I am flapping about in these mismatched slacks and stuff... It looks like a particularly disreputable clown shagged a scarecrow and I am the runt of the litter of their offspring... But I seem wonderfully content in those pictures.

    • November 24, 2017 4:27 PM GMT
    • Well, I have been on this site for months and met some wonderful people (some of whom became fantastic friends, you know who you are), but I realize that I never got round to introduce myself, or explain what the hell I am exactly (if only I knew!).

      But no more! I had written down my all life story (gender-wise) for one of my friends, so, you are going to be hit with the whole lot of it. Lucky you!

      On the plus side, I am writer by trade so I tried to make it fun (at least in parts).

      Well, here goes episode 1:

      Katy's story:

       

       

      In the summer of 1976 I was conceived, by accident, in a field of wheat. My mom was not quite 18 and was an art student. My dad was 10 years older and so sozzled in drink that he died less than three years later. The deed of squirting little wonderful me into the world was, without a doubt, the greatest achievement in his life. RIP, daddy.

      The wheat had already been cut, and my mom's most vivid memory of the day of my conception is that the wheat stubbles were damn uncorfotable to lie on. I was destined to be prickly and uncomfortable.

      In my part of Italy, the wheat is cut early in June, so, as is but right, I was born in February. It was Valentine Day, no less. I was destined to be hopelessly romantic.

      My parents had married by then, but before I was 2 years old they had already divorced and I had moved into the house of my mother's parents.

      I was born with all the proper girl parts, so I don't know exactly why I came up in this family rather more like a little boy.

      I think my own brand of gender mix-up started almost by chance.

      What can I say about my mother's family? They were poor, utterly uneducated and came from the countryside. The Italian countryside in the 1970s was like the 16th century anywhere else in Western Europe. There was not a mean bone about my grandparents and their family, but let us say, that they lacked "the social graces". It was the kind of family where men work in the fields and building sites, and women stay at home sewing, cooking and rolling pasta dough with long wooden rolling pins (a fearsome weapon, but too seldom used). It is also the sort of family where, for mere sport, men would belch loudly at table, and fart uproariously in the living room.

      Because the money was tight, I was always dressed in my older (male) cousins hand-downs... By the age of 6 I was used to be systematically mistaken for a little boy. Hell, I was used to BE a little boy. My mom was a staunch feminist, and decided I should play with Lego and other types of building blocks, not dolls. Eventually My Little Ponies (my first horsies!!) were smuggled into my life by other relatives. But by then I was already making a point of building their stables myself from scratch.  I built pretty impressive miniature houses from cardboard boxes and even a boat (because My Little Ponies liked to sail, you know).

      Because of my mom's relatively progressive ideas an illustrated book was purchased that explained to children how children are made. I suppose that was my first contact with erotic romance. I didn't have little brothers to do the whole "if you show me yours I will show me mine" thing, but thanks to the book, I was well grounded in the whole subject.

      When I was 7 I shocked my school friend Elisa G. and her conservative, family by stating (at table) that I wanted to be a boy. "Why?!", they asked, all polite bourgeois city-courtesy (my first taste ever of society, just so you know), "Because I want my own willie," I said, as cool as you like. Imagine the pretty tinkling little thuds of 6 silver-plated forks falling on as many fine porcelain dishes. (well, nobody in my clueless family had ever mentioned that saying willie at table is not socially acceptable, so, how was I to know??).

      If truth be told, what I really wanted was to be White Fang, and marry Bagheera. Which goes to prove that a) I was already a good reader, b) I was already at odds with the human species, and c) that my gender mix up had already taken several very colourful turns.

      (Just so you know, a panther, as a noun, is feminine, in Italian, and people names ending in -a are also usually feminine. But, surprisingly, Bagheera was male and spoke in a deep gruff rumble and I thought he was the **sexiest** thing on earth. Retrospectively, that is significant).

      Now and then my granny, who could use a sewing machine, would be arsed to give a damn, and make me a "something girly". If only it had been a cute nice tiny blouse to wear over my cute tiny blue jeans everything might have gone well for me. But no. Granny was always an all-or-nothing kinda girl, so when she made me a something girly, she went aaaaall the way out. I remember the first one. It was a little "sailor" dress. Pure white cotton (so practical to run around with!) with a tight little bodice, a double trim of thin blue ribbon sewn around all the edges, a big square collar (I don't remember if it had stars on it), flared skirts and oversized balloon sleeves. It went with white lacy crocheted socks and varnished black pumps. They put all this on me, they did something unspeakble to my hair (hey, by then the 80s had reached even Italy) and then they carried me to the photographer parlour, where they sat me with a potted palm and a painted background and took a picture.

      That was the first day of my life I went out en femme. It was the most awfully uncomfortable thing that had ever been inflicted on me. I had never felt so utterly stupid in my life. My other granny had this picture printed poster size and had it hanging in her house til the day she died, on the same wall with some musty pope portraits and a shelf full of stuffed pheasants (courtesy of a hunting uncle). The fact that I never set fire to that house is a testament to my heroic restraint and self control.

       

      (end of part 1 of my story... Part 2 is not so funny)

       

    • March 8, 2017 10:07 AM GMT
    • Thank you Lillith :)

    • March 8, 2017 9:59 AM GMT
    • Hi Ashanti. Welcome to GS. I hope you enjoy your stay

    • March 4, 2017 4:34 AM GMT
    • Hello all my name is Ashanti and after that I'm not sure what else to really say since introductions really aren't my forte. Let's see I'm 28 and my main source of entertainment is books ( of the fantasy and high fantasy genre ), music ( primarily punk rock and post rock ) and then video games which can be all over the spectrum but my main love is RPG games. Currently I work at Walgreens as a manager and work in the pharmacy as well and so far I haven't come out to them but have to HR which they fully support and will assist anyone who is transitioning. Uhm. I guess If I had to put myself in a place I'd be between coming out and getting my prescription for hormones at this point; but since I haven't come out to my parents or even some of my friends I've been reluctant to set up an appointmet. Oh I'm also located in SW michigan Niles to be exact which is about 20-30 minutes away from Indiana. So not really sure what else to type so I will leave it at that. Any questions feel free to ask away :).

    • January 9, 2017 11:02 AM GMT
    • Hello Anna, and a very warm welcome to the site.

      Yes, coming out brings up challenges,  but it also makes a lot of things so much easier!

      Always nice to see another happy face on The Gender Society. I hope you'll post more in the forums.

      xx

    • January 9, 2017 12:50 AM GMT
    • Hello All,

       

      I'm Anna. I'm 40+, MtF, I've been "Out" since mid-2015. It has been a challenge, but I'm a far better woman than I ever was trying to be that other person. Since I came out, I've had more laughter, more tears, more joy, more dates, more sex, and more happiness than in all my 40 years of life before. :)

       

      I'm a Fashionista, I love Star Trek, history, reading, and miniature figurines. I am looking to talk with others like me, share our triumps and our troubles, and just be able to hang out with folks that can relate. I'm looking forwards to talking with all of you. :)

    • December 11, 2016 2:19 PM GMT
    • "Some girls...?"

      #1.) Is this forum appropriate for those under 18?

      #2.) That's presumptuous.

      #3.) Sexist.

      #4.) I don't like it.

      #5.) Get me out of here!

    • December 2, 2016 3:14 AM GMT
    • Hi all, I'm RachaelAnn. I'm 34 and just surfed in on a google search. I was looking for transgender forums, and liked what I saw here. I don't really know what to say in an introduction post, so I guess I'll just ramble a bit.

      ummm...

      I guess I'll give a physical description. I'm 6'4", about 270 (I'm a big girl), I have a lot of tattoos and piercings, I used to have long hair, but chopped it off this past spring.

      I'm into a lot of things, like writing, video games, movies, shopping, and just sitting around and chatting. I do most of my shopping online. It's easier and more comfortable for me than going to walmart for a bra.

       

      Wow, I really don't know what to say at this point. I guess if you want, ask some questions and I'll try to answer them.

       

       

      RachaelAnn

    • October 30, 2016 1:16 PM GMT
    • I'm not new to forums, just this one. I'm Tobi and I'm a FtM trans guy. I came out early March of 2014 to my friends and coworkers and then to my family November of the same year. This year I've finally resolved myself to take hormones and change my name. I've been searching my area for trans support groups but they are scarce and the ones that do exist are run by those who prefer to use it as a clique. Support for trans men are especially difficult because it seems that people only care about trans women. So I'm hoping to find some experienced t-guys here.

      Other than that uhm, I'm a nerd. I'm in to DnD, video games, cosplay, and the MCU. I write in my spare time. I'm part of a volunteer group called the "coming out monologues" which discusses with other people your experience in coming out to family, society, or just other experiences involving the LGBT community. I like wolves and Mel Brooks films. I have a cat named Bento. That's all I guess

    • July 5, 2016 5:46 PM BST
    • Hello hello hello ! :-)
      TG MTF aka WOMAN here , just checking in and saying a big fatty HELLO from Vancouver Washington USA .

    • July 5, 2016 3:59 AM BST
    • Hello,I am Alex and a transgendered MTF.For a long time,I always felt that I was born the wrong gender.I was even in the closet too with this for a long time.I finally came out in May and my parents were shocked knowing there was something wrong with me in the past.So far they are adjusting to the changes slowly and have come to terms I am finally happy.Married and my wife knew there was something not right about me at all.She has decided to stay with me and things are going good with us.I currently live and dress as female now,could not live as my old male self anymore.Seeing a therapist and I do want to transition.I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria.Therapist says I am almost ready for the hormones including the male hormone blockers which will be hopefully next month.Plan to go through the whole transition including the GRS.In the past I was teased and picked on a lot and it was painful.

    • July 3, 2016 1:36 PM BST
    • Excellent self diagnosis and heartwarming post.   Welcome to GS.   Regardless of age, there is always the point of self confirmation of ones needs to be happy and contented.

    • July 1, 2016 10:22 PM BST
    • I am very happy that you read my post Lucy, and it is a pleasure to speak with you and anyone else who is willing to post replies. I think the motivation behind the news situation is depressing since news is based more on profit today than anything including integrity and authenticity. I was at a local news station when I heard about the ban on trans soldiers too and during the same broadcast, they talked about another trans bathroom high school incident that apparently had some consequences for the student. Unfortunately, I didn’t hear the full broadcast, but I’m pretty sure I can fill in the blanks myself. But, wow, two trans stories in one broadcast. For a minority that is less than one percent, I think we’re getting a serious amount of attention these days.

      Way before I signed up here, I had to start thinking to myself about what it exactly it was that distinguishes someone as trans. I kept thinking to myself, “Is it just the physical desire to have a body of the opposite gender and express one’s self as that gender, or has it more to do with an innate inclination toward traits that exemplify the gender role of the opposite gender?” While I was at a used bookstore before I moved about two years ago, I found a book that was written by a doctor who performed some of the earliest research on this very topic. He was an excellent technical writer, but his lack of grammatical structure made most of his sentences run-on and ultimately nonsensical or mixed in their meaning. I think it was before the 60s, and he mentioned early in the book that there were no references available related to the kind of counseling he would provide, so he found himself, fortunately or otherwise, breaking new ground. He even had to classify his patients based on their motivation. Throughout the course of his research, he found that the motivation behind why people as well as many children who exhibited strong signs of transsexualism engaged in this type of behavior. In several instances, children would wear their mother’s clothing and be sexually stimulated by it. He considered this a fetish. There were other adults and children who did the same thing or were found applying makeup because they literally thought they were girls regardless of their anatomy. Then, of course, there were a handful of cases regarding children playing with the wrong toys, wearing costumes of the opposite gender, girls who like playing sports, boys with feminine inflections/traits, etc., which were all phases the patients grew out of. Although it seemed interesting, I felt like I had learned little from the book because it didn’t help me understand myself any better. It didn’t address daily habits, emotional states of mind, and impulses that might be indicative of transsexualism. In other words, they seemed to be rather extreme cases whereas I felt my own case was a little less severe or sort of snuck up on me.

      I’ve lived with some questionable habits and thoughts which I generally kept to myself for years or justified in various “reasonable” ways. Before I was 13, I think I was as normal as they come. A girlfriend of mine who knew me a few years before that said that she was attracted to me when I was very young because she perceived that I was not a very masculine boy. I was very short, petite, but very active. I’m not sure if she’s a very credible source because she told me years later that she battled dysphoria all her life not being a totally feminine woman herself, even though she was quite beautiful regardless. Anyway, I considered myself normal until about that time. Afterwards, my body started changing, and I think it frightened me. By the time I was 15, I stopped wearing shorts and really didn’t swim all that often either. I didn’t like the changes in my body, and started hiding by wearing pants and long sleeve shirts all the time. At the time, I thought it was just the style that I wanted. I started getting so much taller, but I wasn’t getting bigger. And, of course, the body hair started coming in a lot. Also, when I’d look in the mirror, I always felt like my hair was too short for some reason and had it grow way down my back. I felt like my nose grew too big and dreamed of changing that as well. Facial hair wasn’t much of an issue although I tried to keep myself as shaven as possible, but I was very strongly tempted to shave my entire body when I was about 18, which I did. It felt amazing, and I felt like I could open myself back up to the world, but what if everyone knew what I did to myself? What would they think of me? Sadly, shaving everything wasn’t without consequences, and I found myself covering everything up again. I tried to find a way deal with that, but it seemed to be no use. As a result, I kept building upon my cover.

      I didn’t like men’s clothing at all either. I hardly ever fit into them. I never wore jeans specifically, something a family member would continuously remind me of. I grew up to nearly six feet, but I was very thin and had small feet. I almost needed a belt to fit into the smallest men’s size pants available, and most of the “small” shirts that I wore were just too baggy. I used to think, “Why can’t men have the same stylistic choices that women seem to have?” After all, in the malls, there were more clothing stores solely for women, and even where I used to buy all my clothes, (JC Penny) the men’s department was rather small compared to the women’s. I wasn’t into athletic wear even though I grew up playing a lot of sports. I generally tried to go for a casual/formal look. I used to wear dress shoes all the time. That was also tough to shop for sometimes because my feet were at the lower end of the spectrum too! A size 7.5-8! Anything larger would flop off my feet easily. Nevertheless, I went along with this style for a while, got into vinyl for a bit, and then stumbled into vintage clothing. In the past, men used wear tighter fitting clothes and bells which I fell in love with because they matched my shape and style perfectly. Some flare out like mad, others are form-fitting around the thighs, most ride all the way up to the hips and feature wonderful colors, the shirts had brilliant textures and fabrics, etc. My outward expression went through the roof then as anything seemed to go. If it was okay back then, it’s okay now, right? It was just a style that went out of fashion and doesn’t mean anything in particular about myself, does it? I became this super chic, stylish, and loud trendsetter, and it started gaining me a lot of attention. Strangers would give me the best compliments and ask where I shopped way more often that I was ready for. However, some of the attention was not so good.

      With my hair the way it was, I looked like I could’ve come out of the seventies, which I didn’t mind as it is one of my favorite eras of music. Opinions about the style of that era are divided. I met a girlfriend around this time and started seeing her a lot. We’d bum around the area, having all sorts of random fun, and she even moved with me when I moved out of state. We eventually started dating, and she once told me that when I’m not looking, some people would give me strange looks or sort of chuckle. When we would shop, we would invariably split up, and people wouldn’t assume that we were together. She said that on numerous occasions, she heard people comment that I was most likely gay. Sadly, I was aware of the judgments before I started hanging with her. I used to go to the mall alone sometimes, and I could hear people saying things as I passed them or laughing. Malls have a tendency to attract people who are shamefully trendy, and I felt like I had more character than them. I didn’t care. I tried to build an immunity to such nonsense by thinking that I was just supremely unique although I never understood how I got to that point. I realized, somewhere along the line, that it was because of my defiance toward the choices of clothing that men have today. I felt that they were just too casual, conforming, dull, and tasteless. It's a one-size-should-fit-all mentality instead of having clothes that fit well. I didn’t like them and was attracted to something more feminine in nature using trends from the past the justify my style. My family was mostly okay with it except the one family member who never let me forget about jeans also never let me forget about how abnormal I’d become. When I was with my girlfriend, I stumbled upon some information about hair removal technology. I thought it would be so great to have no facial or body hair at all. It seemed exciting, but I never had the money or time to seriously devote to that. Not yet anyway.

      As all good things eventually come to end, my girlfriend and I were fast approaching our end as I was moving out of town to continue pursuing a degree in school. We couldn’t agree upon a solution in regard to my inevitable transfer, and we split about a half a year before I left. While things were still going well, I found a note in our apartment when I came home from school one evening. She subscribed to Cosmo and wanted me to read an article about someone who came out as transgender. About a year prior during a difficult time where I had to leave home for nearly a year, I had already started doing my own research into transgender living because I found myself fantasizing regularly about being a woman instead of the queer, effeminate male that I was by birth. For a long time, I felt like I was a good balance of both, but the truth of that matter was that I embodied more feminine traits than masculine by far both biologically and emotionally, as my girlfriend used to tell me often. I thought that if I built my body up really well, I could develop a more masculine physique and style that could outweigh that other side of me. I studied exercise science and dieting and was building myself up pretty well. I worked on developing strength first and then was going to change the routine to develop my mass. I got so strong lifting 250-300lbs at a shot and my body was changing, but… I didn’t truly want to get any larger. I had gained about 30lbs, and I could just never force myself to go through with it. We had to move around this time and as a result, we broke down our equipment and had to stop for a while. I got back into it for a short time, but I wasn’t focused on bulking up. When I started school, I had to quit altogether due to the lack of opportunity. Now, I’m back to the tall, lithe, and petite figure I’ve always been. In the end, I felt that it would’ve just been another way of hiding or neglecting an inevitable part of myself. For a while, I just thought that I was eccentric and had a strange desire for things that I had been taught to not want or were wrong. Only over the last year or so have I realized that these eccentricities seemed to fit a stereotype. Now, I am trying to further my understanding.

      I never felt like I could relate to some of the stories that I’ve heard about people coming out as transgender in the midst of living full lives. People have been successful with cultivating families, having a wife/husband, having children, owning a house, and having important jobs. Although I dated one girlfriend for a short time, I’ve never had other love interests that might’ve even made things like a marriage or family a possibility or choice for me. Not a chance. I always thought I had a relatively masculine visage while looking into the mirror, but upon seeing some pictures of myself with my family, I started to feel differently. I looked remarkably feminine and wondered what my mother must’ve thought before showing framing it. I am often mistaken for a woman in public as well, mainly from behind which is always odd. I do seem to have a queer ambience about myself and thought that anyone who might’ve been potentially trans should have the same problem. I didn’t consider people who could get as far as having children as truly trans people until I understood that gender is more internal than external. And honestly, I’ve become exhausted by living within the limbo of gender and would rather embody the elements of one instead of both.

      I never knew if everything I had experienced was enough to justify my suspicion. I feared that if I talked to someone, I could potentially be labeled as a pseudo trans-person. It’s not like it was a choice, and that’s an important thing. People always repeat vauge cliches about life and love like, “Oh, you’ll find someone someday” and “You do whatever makes you happy” with the assumption that life circumstances or dilemmas always seem to eventually come to an end, generally a happy end. For me, there has been no end. The lingering thought that there was something terribly wrong with how I was living my life has never been solved, but there is always hope. Clarity may be right over this horizon if I ask the right questions, have some dynamic support, and see the right people. I have always looked forward to that time and am hoping that it is fast approaching!

       

      Dana!!

    • July 1, 2016 10:04 AM BST
    • Hi Dana and welcome.

      Thanks for posting a bit about yourself, it's always nice to meet someone new.

      I can't really comment on the US news situation, although I am aware there is a lot of TG issue coverage I don't know how we are "portrayed" in the news over there. In the UK news I don't really think we are portrayed in any particular way. But we have the Gender Recognition Act and we really don't have newsworthy issues any more. Hopefully it will go that way for you eventually.

      I see that the US has just lifted the ban on trans people joining the forces, another step towards full integration. Now, if they can just sort those bathrooms out...

      There's no doubt that the general situation is improving both here and there, and I'm sure that's why numbers of people transitioning are increasing.

      There are many experienced individuals here, and many who are just starting out or just considering it. The forums here are a huge resource, so please post away if you have any thoughts or questions.

      Good luck in your journey!

      xx

    • July 1, 2016 12:10 AM BST
    • Hello! My name is Dana, and I've recently decided to start reaching out a little bit as I've always kept my innate and intense compulsion to being trans. I live in Maryland, but will soon be in South Carolina when the summer is over. I've been planning on looking into hormone replacement therapy and speaking to a professional I am familiar with in the near future. In the meantime, I’ve wanted to try to finally meet some friends who I can develop a true understanding and empathetic relationship with as trans people are very rare to meet. I used to feel apprehensive about talking with anyone about this. In terms of speaking to a professional, I was afraid of stereotyping both gender roles in my attempt at explaining why I am the way I am. I’ve taken a handful of “gender tests” online that you can take which ineffectively place you on some level of a spectrum. A lot of my friends tell me that trans people don’t bother them, but with the way we are perceived in the news, it makes you wonder. Over the last few years, I’ve observed a continuous coverage of the transgender topic. First, they wouldn’t stop talking about the wisdom of parents who treat their own transgendered children. Then, for a little while, Jenner kept the topic hot in the news and still seems to be on fire with her show and inherent fame. Now, the main focus is still upon the bathroom dilemma. I’m surprised that it’s been in the news for as long as it has. Considering how small of a minority we are, I feel like news organizations stay up to date on the topic simply because it is controversial and makes people tune in. I wish I knew more about how other truly trans people felt about how they are perceived in the news. I feel that some might feel that greater awareness of our existence is a good thing while others might feel that the topic is treated frivolously and is trivialized, nothing more than bait for viewers who are somehow tired of the infinity of other news topics available beyond death, terrorism, and politics.
      There are a lot of things that I’d love to talk with everyone about as I’ve had little to no external input on these matters beyond my own inner reflections. I try to be as objective as I can and have a tendency to contemplate these things heavily. Hopefully, I’ll meet some good friends on here and expand my horizons even further.

       

      Dana!!

    • June 7, 2016 9:02 PM BST
    • You stated it so well Lucy!

      I can answer the full membership question. I just became a full member about a week or two ago, after being a basic member since March of this year. I like that I can see my photo albums (delete my photos, see people's comments to me) and I can look at other member's photo albums, leave comments and likes...and I like the fact that I can post and view all the videos. I really wanted to post a music video, that's one of the main reasons I signed up as a full member! I haven't spent much time browsing and looking at videos yet, but the one I saw was fun and interesting, someone's birthday party/girl's night out from Katie Glover!

      And actually, in the end, I feel good for supporting the site so it can stay up and running...so my second reason for joining was to support GS.

      One last thing, I'm sure there are other perks and benefits for joining, I just haven't delved into them.

    • June 7, 2016 7:40 PM BST
    • There are indeed thousands of threads in these forums, many of them years old. In recent years activity seems to have slowed a bit, but it just takes a few people to get a good discussion going, and you may feel free to mention on the front page that you have added to a particular forum (include a link too!)

      We used to have a list of all recent posts which seemed to encourage people to take part, but sadly not at the moment. We do have a list of new topics though, which can be found on the main forum page (from the drop-down menu under "Community Features") and scrolling downto the bottom. This will help you keep track of any new threads that you may have missed. 

      It's really nice to see people taking an interest in the forums again, please keep at it!

      xx

       

    • June 7, 2016 7:25 PM BST
    • Thanks for the warm welcome, gals! And, yes, I live in Breaking Bad land. All the place names and locations are real and accurate. A few weeks ago I had pizza from the very same place Walt got his pizza that ended up on his roof. Los Pollos Hermanos isn't real though. It was filmed in a burrito place called Twisters.

       

      LOL And I know what you mean about groans, screams and scrunching faces. The guy I was referring to in my post lied about his age (hence, why I ended things pretty qucikly--he was way too young for me) and turned out to be only 22 and a virgin! He kept apologizing for things like grabbing me, digging his nails into me, even poking me with his--ahem, you know--when cuddling. I'm like, "don't apologize!" I think even those of us who are sexually liberated can feel awkward at the begining of our sex lives. But it's like I say, the things about yourself that you find awkward, unattractive, weird, or whatever, in relation to your sexuality and sexual behaviors and desires, can be the things that really turn someone else on! I don't want "polite" sex LOL. It should be sweaty and passionate and primal...and if it's not it wouldn't seem right. If I'm with a guy who just lays there frigid, one, I won't be turned on, and two, I'll feel like I'm doing something wrong and that he doesn't like me. Lose yourself!!

       

      And, yes, I have noticed there isn't much going on in the forums. I was kind of disappointed to see most of the threads hadn't been commented on in months or even years. 

       

      I don't know if either of you have the full membership, but, if you do, is it worth it? Is there more goings on in those forums?

       

      Again, thanks for the warm welcome and I look forward to remaining part of the community!

    • June 7, 2016 6:03 PM BST
    • You live in Breaking Bad land! My favorite show of all time!

      I love your attitude and style of writing and see all your reply posts already, some good stuff. In one of them, I like how you said you are/feel liberated (in the bedroom), that's the best way to live, not being ashamed to be utterly and completely free in all aspects of being a woman. Heck there are so many cisgender women who have sexual hang ups because of strict religious upbringing. They feel extremely guilty, can't let loose--even after getting married, they still have guilt and issues. I'm glad I didn't have a religious upbringing. One less thing to worry about, as it was, in my twenties, I was already worried about what I looked like or sounded like and never truly enjoyed sex. My only template was the R rated movies, so I would always be thinking of how to look and sound good, plus the first guy I had sex with (at age 20 1/2) and eventually married and divorced a year and a half later said I made weird/funny faces while doing it, so of course I developed a complex. Now for the past 12 years since I've been with my husband (10 years married), I don't care, I moan groan scream scrunch my face, and get sudden bouts of Tourette's syndrome! Even someone with a complex can get over it with time! Hahaha!!!

      Back to the forums and being more serious! We need to breathe new life into the forum section of this site, I totally agree with Lucy. There are hundreds of lurkers all the time coming to the forums, too scared to join or too scared to come out. If they see confident transgender people such as yourself sharing your story or giving advice or your two cents, they might feel more comfortable and find the courage to become themselves. Please please please stick around!

    • June 7, 2016 8:51 AM BST
    • Hello Katie and welcome to this wonderful site.

      Hope you will post more in the forums.

      xx

    • June 6, 2016 10:24 PM BST
    • Hey everyone...

       

      Fresh meat here, just joined. Looking for some good solid digital/phone/local (yeah right, like anyone cool is nearby...) friendships and share stories, experiences, wants, desires, a few laughs and maybe even some tears. I'm interested in being part of a nice online community and hope to meet some of you lovely intelligent folks!

      I'm Katie, and I'm here...deal with it!

       

    • May 31, 2016 8:17 AM BST
    • Thank you for your advice, Naomi. I haven't really dropped any hints to my family...intentionally anyway. My mom did notice that I had been shaving my arms, but she doesn't know about the other areas that I've shaved. She came close a few weeks ago in learning that I was transgender when she accidentally opened a package addressed to me, and it was a wig and a pair of clip-on earrings. I could've come out then, but I denied that I had ordered them, and I convinced her that it was sent to me by mistake. I didn't feel good about lying to her like that, but I was not ready for her to know yet. I feel like with her, I need to approach it delicately because she will blame herself for me being transgender. That can't be further from the truth. Perhaps dropping hints early on will be the best solution.

       

      Once again, thank you for your advice. I really do appreciate it. And thank you for telling me about your story. It's easy when one first learns that they're transgender to think that they're alone, forgetting that there are others who have gone through the same thing.

    • May 30, 2016 6:48 PM BST
    • HI Jennifer, love your dress. Dont worry about coming out until it is right for you, you will need the strength for whet may come hoping it will be supportive. You are the only one that knows, i dont know if you have dropped a few hints along the way as that sometime breaksd the ice and gives you some feedback on how it may go. A preparation in a way.

      All i can say it is up to you, be strong and good luck it is hard but well worth it, keeping it locked in is not good either but you need to be prepared as you will already know, there is a lot of support here for you. I was supprised to the strenght of my wife but i knew she was strong and our love could weather the storm and so far so good, it has been 9 months now, but i still havent got dressed in front of her she knows i do elsewhere, i only do my nails and wear jewelery. She even aggreed for me to go on hormones as well knowing the results but hey i had trauma which resulted in loss of of the jewels so a blessing for me. I dress at my sisters and with my 9 yo daughter she calls me her girly man, have gone out once as me that was by myself too. Keep a clear head and remember you are you and nothing is going to change and tell them that you love them all the same no change, you are the same person inside just look different.

      I am here ot help if you need it, we all have different but similar stories some good some bad, do your thing and what happens happens! Try not to be selfish as it is so easy to fall into your own importance and forget the wives lives have been turned up side down so be there for her, as i said i came out 9 months ago and still step by step day by day not to scare her, she knows were it is going but coping as she canm dont push resist the urge you have waited so many years now to take a little more time but everyone on your side is better.

       

      Lots of hugs Naomi good luck.

    • May 29, 2016 6:49 AM BST
    • Hiya, y'all!!! My name is Jennifer Wright, and I am new to this site and wanted to introduce myself. I only realized that I was M2F transgender last year, and I am still trying to understand it all.  I haven't come out to my friends or family although it is really killing me on the inside to keep it from them. It's not that I don't think that my friends would understand, they're very understanding when it comes to LGBT issues, but it's really coming out to my family that scares me the most. So I have been an emotional wreck lately while I mull this over. I don't feel that I am ready to come out yet, and I certainly don't have the words yet.  

      So I look forward to hearing from you all and getting to know you all. Goodnight, y'all. 

    • March 29, 2016 9:51 PM BST
    • Lisa,

      As my 'sisters' have already stated earlier in this thread there are always people who will be pleasent around others & then unpleasent when they are alone with you or send nasty messages through IM's or PM's. This is always a small minority and does not represent the greater membership feelings towards other members whichever inclination they are.

      For me the nearest choice would be admirer but I chose not to acknowledge the admirer choice because of the sterotypical view of an admirer just cruising the site. I do not pay attention to what others think of me, those that wish to communicate with you and get to know you will spend the time to befriend you & get to know you building friendships

    • March 28, 2016 2:57 PM BST
    • Perfectly stated, Nikki, thank you for imparting your wisdom and common sense here and in practically every post I read from you here on GS. You truly are a valued member here, and I won't be scared away or bullied into leaving as long as you stay, as well as the many other members who share your qualities that I have been lucky enough to encounter here, stick around, too.. Thank you, Nikki!

    • March 27, 2016 8:43 PM BST
    • Lisa, don't let one person's rant's make you leave the site. This site is and always has been for TG, TS, TV, CD, CIS, Admirers, supporters, SO's etc. You are as welcome here as anyone else and you have as much right to be here. There is always someone, somewhere who will seek to hurt you with words, just as CIS women have attacked TG women and see us as nothing but freaks, men in dresses, and that includes if you are post op! It's just ignorance and like Donald Trump, should be ignored. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, but there is no need to attack someone personally. 

       

      As for a god. I don't believe in one but I feel privilaged to have had the opportunity to see both worlds. Some would call it a curse, but I suppose that depends on your own perspective and way of dealing with what life throws at you. 

       

      As Lucy said, we love women, and men, we aren't biased here. Most of my friends are women and I had a huge amount of advice and tips from women to help me as I was coming out. They didn't always get it right of course because yes, CIS women have a different experience and different issues. You will not have had to deal with getting rid of stubble permanantly but then I will never know period pain or childbirth!! Two women with shared, but different experiences, but women all the same. 

       

       

       

    • March 25, 2016 1:45 PM GMT
    • Hello Lovely Lucy,
      Thank you for taking the time to write such a welcoming, beautiful, and insightful post. You are a very warm and welcoming--and gorgeous woman! I will let you or Cristine know if It happens again, but I hope you gals never have to hear from me about this topic ever again. Love, Lisa

    • March 24, 2016 11:55 PM GMT
    • Hello Lovely Lisa,

      There seems to be a certain amount of self-loathing by the writer of the message you received so I should try not to take it personally, and I hope it won't put you off this site at all. You are a hugely valuable member and we need more like you.

      The sender suggests you join a TG support group...

      Actually, this IS a TG support group. Membership is not confined to trans people; all are welcome here including admirers, friends, family, supporters or anyone who may just be curious. There is no particular gender qualification required to be here, so you are very, very welcome.

      Most of us love women and don't have a problem with them posting their thoughts and feelings here. In fact we'd encourage *anyone* to join and be an active member, as long as they play nice.

      Personally I don't believe that god f****** me or anyone else up, I mean, if you believe in a god - he's perfect, right? He doesn't go f****** things up does he? No... that's all just nonsense in my opinion; nature made me this way, I'm ok with that. Life is fleeting, being bitter about the hand you were dealt doesn't help.

      It's quite clear from our succinctly written T's & C's that verbal aggression towards another member is forbidden and will not be tolerated, however justified they feel it may be, so please inform Cristine or myself if it happens again.

      Be happy, and I look forward to hearing more from you.

      Lovely Lucy :)

      xx

       

    • March 24, 2016 9:14 PM GMT
    • As this website is named The Gender Society and Lisa has a gender , hopefully this can now be put to bed. I do not know who sent the PM to Lisa and have no wish to but I can have a guess , please feel free to send your thoughts on me if you have the guts. If I have blocked you then you will have to do it in a forum post or the home page.

      So Lisa is a genetic female and I can see no problem with that so why should anyone else?. She has not yet been given a real chance here yet but she participates , so if you have a problem with her keep it to yourself or take a look in the mirror and slag yourself off.

       

      At the end of the day we are all human , we all have human emotions. Gender does not really come into this it is about care not hurting people whatever gender. The world is a mess right now with wars and terror threats and children starving just because it does not rain to grow crops and keep animals alive. Just be pleased that someone took her time to come here and was interested enough to want to get to know us regardless of her assigned gender at birth , to me that shows she cares.

       

      You all take care xx

    • March 23, 2016 10:41 PM GMT
    • This website should be welcoming to all genders. Sometimes a few head cases will come here and make strange posts and vanish. I posted in a topic from a 6 year old member (yes 6 year old) and my post which I considered to be funny was deleted , the insulting ones from others were left behind.

       

      We cannot welcome 6 year olds , although some do have more common sense than a few adults on here. I have to spend my life with so called normal people , if I did not I would be very isolated. In fact I would have no business without them , I have not knowingly had a transgender customer. The females accept me as one of them and 99.9% of males treat me with respect. To gain acceptance we have to let people know we exist and live normal lives. We or I have no choice but to interact with the general public and I enjoy it , I enjoy meeting people and also they learn from me.

      I feel as normal as the next woman and I personally think it is a good thing to have genetic females here.

       

      Take care , Julia xx

    • March 23, 2016 9:22 PM GMT
    • Let's not frighten away the 'normal' people, enter into discourse, perhaps they will pass on what they learn, to others, leading to a more lateral understanding and acceptance.

    • March 23, 2016 5:39 PM GMT
    • I know, jealousy and envy are human emotions, and I know your friends are having fun with you. Hey maybe I'd get jealous of you too, you sexy mama, you! ;)

    • March 23, 2016 5:33 PM GMT
    • What you received as a PM Lisa is a cowards way of telling you how they feel about you. I am so sorry you had to read that before going to sleep , some would have deleted their account here so thank you for not doing that.

       

      There is not one member of this site past or present that I personally would send a message to like that. In fact I rarely use the PM system and never enter the chat rooms.

      I post openly what I feel for all to see , everyone does not have to agree with me as they are my observations and opinions.

      You have observed what Cristine (Crissie) does here and you have shown your appreciation for her , she does not get enough recognition here and you have given her some. I am very proud to call her my friend and she is now yours too.

      Male admirers get a welcome here so you a welcome too. Block the member and ignore , or try to ignore the coward.

      As some here and myself included identify as female fulltime it makes us the same as you. I know from my genetic female friends that their lives are not always easy , some even say they are jealous of me but not in a cruel way.

       

      Take care , Julia xx

    • March 23, 2016 5:30 PM GMT
    • Hello Julia, I just read your post and checked out the link, plus the "what's new" in their profile. I see what you mean. That's definitely not me, as you now know very well! I DO wish all the shy, quiet members would post more so that there's more activity/dialogue/discussion and it doesn't look like a GG is taking over!!! That's why I also felt self-conscious when I first read that PM.

      I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart when you said that my input was valued here. I do want to learn more, but also express myself, have a little fun, post questions, spread a little knowledge that I know from personal experience, and grow as a person.

      Thank you so much, Julia.

      Love, Lisa

    • March 23, 2016 5:02 PM GMT
    • Yes, I felt icky when I read it right before bed, so I was tossing and turning and got crappy sleep...but after reading it again two days later, I have a different perspective and don't feel anything when reading it. I thought this person represented all the hundreds of quiet, silent members, that this person was saying what everyone else might feel. But from the outpouring of mature, sweet members, my outlook has changed for the better.

      Everyone is at different stages in life regarding their thoughts and feelings about themselves and others. I STILL feel uncomfortable when I see a bunch of gregarious, outgoing women chatting in a group. I'm more reserved and introverted. When I went back to university to study child development, I would see that popular group chatting and feel weird and inadequate...and yes, jealous! They're so confident and girlie, which is just not me. I feel more comfortable and confident just chatting with the quiet person next to me. Thank you, Cristine, for your insight...you are not only beautiful, but wise, logical and intelligent...hugs!

    • March 23, 2016 4:53 PM GMT
    • Hi Lisa.

      No problems about the unofficial award , it was an idea I came up with years ago here to give recognition to members for different things. You are very kind so you deserve it.

       

      It is easy for people to take me the wrong way as I even admit I can be blunt on occasions on the internet. Some of my posts may sound harsh but they are true. But I am human so If I ever do make a mistake I will openly apologise.

      The one thing I dislike in people is selfishness , there is no need for it as we are all capable of giving something. Selfishness is a choice. It does not have to be money but just offering others a helping hand is enough, that is why I said your input is valued here.

       

      In the link at the end of this post is a classic example of a selfish individual. Someone comes to this website with a problem and gets very good advice "Free advice". The individual gives "Nothing back" The individual has not joined in with any other topic or offered to help others , it is all about them self.

      I observe things and I have been accussed of being to observant far to often. I can spot who comes here for self gain and who comes here to help others , your posts are useful and interesting (my observation).

       

      This link is pure selfishness on the original posters part , there is no other word for it. It shows selfisness towards this website and the posters wife and son http://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/10112/divorcing-and-the-unreasonable-transexual

       

      Take care , Julia xx