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    • April 11, 2018 10:08 PM BST
    • Hey! I think we’ve cracked the safe at last, check that site for announcements!
      Xoxo

    • March 29, 2018 12:36 PM BST
    • Hi Robyn,

      A delay until your first appointment may seem disappointing at first, but on reflection it does enable you to prepare yourself and transition very slowly. Never forget it is those around you, you are 'transitioning'.

      It's tough, but you keep going! GIC's often refer to' helping you on your journey', and they are right...you are already on your journey..!

      XXX

      Sally

    • March 28, 2018 1:42 PM BST
    • Hi Sally and everyone! Well I think its about 10 weeks since my last post and the sad happenings at evanesce. With no chance of ordering from their Euro hub I have returned to a simpler regime of three herbs (Pueraria, Chaste tree and saw palmetto). They seem to be holding the fort and my body hair continues to grow slower and finer with maybe a little boob growth. (Full A cup now and unable to wear a bra in general company as they are too obvious to avoid!)). Latest blood test was fine for liver and kidneys so I will carry on.  Ive had my phone assessment with the leeds gender clinic and now have to wait up to 18 months for an appointment which sucks. (Although they are OK with the herbs and have requested my doctor provide 3 monthly blood tests for kidney and liver function and hormone levels.) I'm going the "wait till people notice" route apart from Cath (my wife) and next door neighbors who are fully on board but do wonder where that will lead with my family and especially the kids (boys, 26 and 24) who are used to dealing with the archetypal alpha male (firefighter, watch commander and fire officer for 30 yrs). Still, one step at a time as they say. Still very much in the closet for now any way.

      Well that's me for now. Back to the ironing..(v domestic I'm sure).

      Robyn xxx

       

    • March 25, 2018 12:30 PM BST
    • Hi Robyn,

      Going 'official' isn't  so bad is it? I have started my official journey recently (last August), which started like you with a visit to my primary care physician(GP for UK folk), also a very 'nice lady', who has just given birth to her first child.  I wrote everything down in the form of a script for her, since we can all forget details. 

         She made me feel very comfortable and simply replied, ..'do we know this at the surgery?..' We had a short conversation, and she agreed to refer me to a GIC. I mentioned at 70 years old I might have left it too late, she smiled and simply said.. it is never too late Chris..'  She is not allowed herself to prescribe hormones, but she did tell me to continue with my herbal regime.  I now have a first appointment at the GIC, not until October, but frankly I am' glad about the delay, since it gives me time too transition slowly, and grow my hair out, so those around me begin to see the changes by instalments so to  say!

      Another great event, I was invited to a seminar at the GIC, with all the doctors and specialist describing what to expect.  Wonderful, since they are all so 'humane', and they dispelled many of the myths and fears awaiting patients, and also a chance to meet other patients. I think this was very helpful, and will help me and the others to prepare themselves and enable them to speed up their journey.

      By the way I think Traci is awesome too! The journey ahead will not be easy, probably for those around us, but I can at least see the way ahead! For those hesitating, please find the courage and approach your doctor.

      Wishing you well on your journey

      XXX

      Sally

    • February 9, 2018 6:49 PM GMT
    • Robyn...it is like trying to break into a safe as the business side is secured and dianna took the PWs to her grave!  I've enlisted some pretty good help to unlock it but it will take more time.

      Traci xoxo

    • January 26, 2018 3:17 PM GMT
    • Hi all. Due to the tragic circumstances at Evanesce my progress has stalled somewhat due to reorder issues but it seems that you have it in hand Traci so I will just have to be patient.

      Best wishes, Robyn

    • January 26, 2018 2:12 AM GMT
    • I agree with Lucy regarding mixing the herbals with the prescribed. Use one or the other, but not both at the same time. My only complaint after many years with them is that they are very expensive relative to prescriptions. Their AA, Androease, is very effective you only need to use it for a year or so, especially after you go on the prescriptions. Estrogen by itself will be all you need...
      Best wishes always!
      Traci xoxo

    • January 25, 2018 7:39 PM GMT
    • Time to start getting all your documents in order, need any help lots of information in the law forum, or just post questions or IM me.    There are regulations in force regarding time frames for referrals. a year seems far too long but I doubt there are many Gender therapist specialist in private practice.  It is generally accepted that your RLE starts from the time you change your name and gender on your documents, does'nt mean you have to suddenly start wearing skirts to work and remember you have the right to privacy, and it is a criminal offence for anyone to divulge the information about any changes to your status contained in those documents.   Good luck

    • January 21, 2018 12:14 PM GMT
    • Hi Lucy. At the moment I'm learning to skydive from the internet. When I finally find a qualified instructor it would be foolish to carry on packing my parachute from a book! Once I start with the gender clinic I will do as I'm told but there's never any harm in asking.

      You're right, the Evanesce system will set me back approx £65 per month (maybe a bit less if I lower the dose to hold in position later in the year). It would be difficult to deal with that level of expenditure if I didn't know it was (relatively) short term.

      Anyway that's me for now. Talk soon?

      Robyn xx

    • January 20, 2018 12:41 AM GMT
    • Hi Robyn, I've read that plant based supplements can interfere with the action of human oestrogen and could therefore be detrimental to the feminisation you wish to achieve. So when you get your prescription don't be tempted to mix the two.

      There is nothing better than human oestrogen for feminisation, and in the UK only bio-identical oestrogen and occasionally valerate are prescribed nowadays. These don't carry the risks associated with early forms of HRT such as Premarin or ethinylestradiol.

      I've been taking 17-Beta oestradiol for 13 years and 3 months, it's really great stuff!

      Also, with an annual pre-paid prescription card (apply online) all my prescriptions including hormones cost me £100 per year, how much does a full course of Evanesce etc cost?

    • January 19, 2018 4:01 PM GMT
    • Hi Traci and everyone else!   Ive only been on the evanesce two weeks and have just had to cut back slightly on the AA side as the English distributor is temporarily out of stock. It will be interesting to see how I get on while waiting for my appointment at the gender clinic (sometime next year by the look of it). If people are in any way interested I'll keep posting re my progress on the Evanesce regime although I am really using it to "hold the fort" while I wait. I agree that using a potassium conserving diuretic (originally designed for people with heart failure) to block testosterone does not fill me with confidence but I have no issue with pure oestrogen. If I find the evanesce AA works well I will perhaps try to negotiate a mixed regime. Each route has its pros and cons. For me the herbal worry is the 100 or so other compounds in the herbs that "come along for the ride" along with the good stuff so to speak. However its what Ive got at the moment so will give it a go and monitor myself carefully. Hopefully I'll have interesting news before very long! I think I have already noticed slight developments but will wait till I'm sure before reporting back! Ive already been on 5 months of herbs so that might muddy the water somewhat at first. Basically a case of watch this space?  Robyn xx

    • January 17, 2018 2:01 AM GMT
    • Hi Robyn!
      I haven’t logged in since New Years and thus missed your post. Congrats on moving forward, but OMG the UK system moves so slowly! Lol.
      As you know, I have been using that herbal protocol with excellent results. My health is at the top of the charts for someone my age. Most will speak negatively about my protocol and I’m certain they have their reasons. I’m not here to promote them and have no vested interest in their company but will also say that they work for some and not so well for others. Many factors go into a successful physical transition. They are far more expensive than a prescription and decent health plan. But for me (and others I have met), they met and exceeded expectations. ‘Nuff said...this isn’t about me but about you!
      I’d avoid using prescribed Spiro as an AA. There are alternatives including the herbal one (their most effective product...). Spiro has too much negative baggage to bother and frankly is not all that effective. See if your MD can prescribe an alternative.
      That said, it must be so exciting for you to get to this point. The mental changes you’ll gain from having your body run on E instead of T will be the greatest gift of all regardless of how much you physically morph!
      Best wishes always!
      Traci xoxo

    • January 11, 2018 10:15 PM GMT
    • It sounds like your doctor is really helpful.  I bet you were nervous, but it was worth it and you are on your way now.  

       

      Woot

       

      Congratulations

    • January 4, 2018 8:09 PM GMT
    • Hello Robyn - Super news for you! I am happy for you and all the best in your journey. 

    • January 4, 2018 2:26 PM GMT
    • Hi everyone and happy new year. So having joined this awesome group b4 xmass and checking out all the posts (and talking to Traci Lee - awesome lady) I finally decided to go official and speak to my (v nice lady) doctor about my "situation". Very traumatic waiting for the appointment but awesome to finally talk. I live in UK so this is NHS and  I have discovered the following: First she thanked me for coming and talking before I was ready to throw myself under a bus. (This makes it much easier to diagnose gender issues rather than mental health - which came first situation). I confessed to using herbs for 5 - 6 months prior to my visit and she did confirm some breast growth (a little) so that's nice. She was happy to refer me to one of the 5 or so gender Clinics in England (Leeds approx 100 miles away) but they are so snowed under that the waiting time is at least one year. Having seen the clinics website it is obvious that they tailor fit treatment to the individual and do not expect people to fully transition if the hormone route is prescribed. Its about only going far enough to get the you"right". She also referred me to a local sex psychology councilor (waiting 1 -2 months) to keep me going in the meantime. As part of the referral I got a complete suite of blood tests which have come back normal so the herbs don't appear to have caused issues. I told her today that I would like to try the evanesce herbal route to keep me sane while waiting and she understood but said that the NHS could not officially support such self medication. However she has given me a liver / kidney blood test form to use after approx 6 weeks on the evanesce as a precaution. All in all I can strongly recommend doing what I have done. Its a great relief to be able to chat with a sympathetic professional. I know it's difficult but why not give it a go?

    • March 26, 2018 2:19 PM BST
    • https://www.standard.co.uk/news/world/experts-baffled-why-selfdriving-uber-didnt-stop-itself-before-hitting-woman-killed-in-arizona-crash-a3796146.html

       

      This poses a legal dilemma, if this happened in the UK! if the car was'nt at fault 

       

      Quote 

      Bryant Walker Smith, a University of South Carolina law professor who studies autonomous vehicles, said: "The victim did not come out of nowhere. She's moving on a dark road, but it's an open road, so Lidar (laser) and radar should have detected and classified her" as a human.

      Their comments came after authorities released the harrowing dashcam video.

       

      It cuts out just before the woman was struck as she walked onto a street in a suburb of Phoenix, Arizona, and the second part shows the reaction of the driver filmed from inside the car.

      Tempe Police Chief Sylvia Moir has said the SUV would probably not be found at fault, but the two experts said it appeared there was enough time and distance to avoid the collision.

       

      Self-driving car experts today said they are mystified as to why a driverless vehicle struck and killed a woman.

      Two different experts said the Uber car, which had a backup driver sitting in it at the time of the crash, "should have detected" the woman victim on its built-in sensors.

      "It absolutely should have been able to pick her up," said Sam Abuelsmaid, an analyst for Navigant Research.

      Was the back up driver negligent, perhaps on his mobile phone, whatever, it's my considered opinion, that he could not be charged with an actual offence of driving without due care and attention,, speeding, driving in dangerous manner, he was'nt actually driving!

      Somebody has to take the blame, obviously with the level of investment involved, it's going to be the stand in, the person in the driving seat, or is the driving seat going to be renamed extra passenger seat, for someone that sometimes operates the car.   Whats the answer?   Can somebody be legally breath tested and penalised ie drunk driving for being behind the wheel of a car when they are not in charge of the car at the time of the accident or offence, who pays the speeding fines for a ''driverless car''

    • March 15, 2018 8:50 PM GMT
    • Lucy,
      Certainly not the only one Lucy,
      Think a Community requires a minimum of two persons..
      I experience exactly the same conditions.
      Rachel x

    • March 10, 2018 6:12 PM GMT
    • Yes I'm on Android and it sounds like I have the same problems as you, Rachel.
      I can't scroll across to the right and so can't see everything that should be on the screen. That's when I use the "standard site" version; I find the mobile site just looks a jumbly mess.
      I've mentioned it to Katie, but I'm glad I'm not the only one.
      xx

    • March 7, 2018 10:03 PM GMT
    • Hi

      This is specifically for Katie (Hi Katie) or at least the programmer that assists her in the running of this site..

      In the past, I have most frequently grabbed the opportunity to engage here, via my iPhone (other devices are available..). However, since the most recent update I can no longer do so, or rather, I am unable to access a full screen and the content is rather discombobulated. I wonder whether I am alone here, or if others have encountered the same problem? 

      If I am the odd woman out and I'm being daft, please let me know. 

      Katie, if anything can be done, then could it be done please. It's not until something is taken away that you miss it so, unless it happens to be between your thighs when I've heard that you don't miss it at all..

      Hugs

      Rachel

    • February 20, 2018 7:05 PM GMT
    • I have always said about the knowing and the what the hell. before the no return point, it was get home get dressed up, now it's with the knowledge of who I really am, get home kick of the shoes, strip off, put on some scruffy well worn comfy clothes, chill out and who gives a sh attitude.  

       

      If anyone needs help with paper work, please do not hesitate to ask.

    • February 19, 2018 11:49 PM GMT
    • I can relate a lot to the not dressing the same while on hormones.

      When I had to stop taking hormones or reduce amount due to lack of money to buy them, the need to get dressed up to feel girlie gets really intense.

      Once I get back on the testosterone blockers its like I have no interest in dressing up girlie, quite happy to wear the normal everyday mundane female clothes, causal top and trousers and stuffs.

      Only thing I can think of is that because we know we are female in our minds, but body telling us it's not, probably more so for those of us with lots of body hair thats dark and really stand out, we do anything we can to make ourselves feel and look feminine.

      Once we get on the hormones and especially the testosterone blockers, and the hairs get lighter and softer, and the lack of penile erections and other manly things, we not have to go to same lengths to feel natural and we're more content in ourselves.

      Thats my theory anyway.

    • February 19, 2018 3:46 PM GMT
    • Hi Donna,

      Thanks for the reply. We don't choose to be as we are, but that said I have never been so relaxed, and suffer less anxiety than ever before. I am beginning to embrace the idea of full transition and hope for GRS( if permitted at my age).  I just feel this is where I should be. Anyway I could not have continued they way it was!  My glass is now half full!

      Many thanks again

      Regards Sally

    • February 19, 2018 3:46 PM GMT
    • Hi Donna,

      Thanks for the reply. We don't choose to be as we are, but that said I have never been so relaxed, and suffer less anxiety than ever before. I am beginning to embrace the idea of full transition and hope for GRS( if permitted at my age).  I just feel this is where I should be. Anyway I could not have continued they way it was!  My glass is now half full!

      Many thanks again

      Regards Sally

    • February 19, 2018 1:52 PM GMT
    • Thanks for this post Sally,

           It is revealing that you talk about the "unexpected result is hormones decrease the the desire to 'dress in frocks and the like'".,as from my own experience [5years on hormones, 1year post op] I see this as a small past phase in the longer gradual process of transition and self realization.Pre transition"dress in frocks" characterises the unresolved transgender person, in which there are phases of desperate wanting expressed as actions to be recognised and not expected to be something you feel an internal opposition too.Nowadays I tend to dress in quite a subdued fashion,rarely frocks, as I live in the country side , and theres just so much rain and mud, plus having 2 dogs, one only 8 months with muddy paws always jumping up.Practically to fit in with my long term partner , I do a lot of things in the background to make life easier.So thats my guiding way.--Adaption in a word..The important thing is to be considerate of other people.I tend to stick to the old school belief of "Treat others as you would wish to be treated yourself".

      Life for a transgendered person and those close to them is difficult , but it is not impossible.A transgender person needs to build the hope in their own life situation, and importantly show that this hope makes a beneficial difference and is necessary.

       One thing I would like to say is that the physical process of Transitioning Male to Female, has got a lot  better after GRS .Personally I think the reason for this is that Pre GRS ,when I was having Hormones and Testosterone blocker.After GRS there is no need to have the T blocker.Its difficult to say You have a completely Ojective perspective being on the inside whilst all these drugs are working, but post GRS I can say that I definitely feel a lot healthier overall.

      Time to take dogs for a walk and clean the house!!

      Kind Regards to All at GS

      Donna

    • February 18, 2018 2:59 PM GMT
    • I am at that stage of 'on the cusp of full transition'.  At my age (70) however, I believe the route is easier than for younger girls. I have been on hormones for nearly 2 years, am out to my primary care physician and practice nurse team, and my wife (although we are divorced) we are 'besties'.  I have a referral to the main GIC in London, and intend to follow their guidance probably, leading to complete legal transition.

      However, we all have to transition those around us, and we have to 'keep it real'! One unexpected result is hormones decrease the the desire to 'dress in frocks and the like'. I stick to plain big knickers under ware, ladies jeans ,and shirt blouses.  I am growing my hair out, but surprisingly female friends find it great and rather eccentric! I do wear suitable outwear coats and shoes, but feminise it with bright scarves etc, I always use a cross over small purse/bag, and wear a pleasant fragrance.  I'm finding this is slowly accustoming folks that I am changing (into what maybe unknown, but hey at my age they probably find it eccentric and attractive.) I find compliments on dress to cis women  opens up loads of opportunities to talk fashion trends without referring to my own transition.  You know, they are pretty smart and can work things out,  but I never present in ' full in your face femme', but also not completely drab.  I am experimenting and learning every day. Keeps me young at heart at least! Hope this might help any folks with doubts.  Do do have a plan though, and be ready to adapt.

      Regards  Sally

    • February 9, 2018 9:29 PM GMT
    • If you need any help, let me know xxXxx

    • February 9, 2018 7:32 PM GMT
    • OMG yes!!!  Do have a backup plan, a place to live, steady income, etc...to come out without this is a recipe for utter disaster!  You are going to lose many in your life...so DO learn to love and accept yourself as you are first!!  Once you hit that place, make sure you have that backup plan!  Society is NOT going to open their arms and welcome another woman into this world!!

      Best wishes always!

      Traci xoxo

    • February 1, 2018 2:05 AM GMT
    • Hi Julie, Others,

      I'm new to this forum but have been around the internet since it started, through that time I've always tried to help others where I could.

       

      I'm now 43, but I came out to my sister first when I was 22.

       

      She was all supportive to my face even helped with clothes and stuff, but was being nasty about me behind my back.

       

      When I was 23, I kind of figured the family were going to know so best I told them all at once, so I wrote a letter and sent it to all of them.

       

      I sat there at home alone for 2 days waiting for the sh*t to hit the fan, and it was strange how it all turned out.

       

      My sister still pretended she was fine with it, dad & step mom were fine with it, so was both step sisters, most of them I thought would be dead against it.

       

      My real mom tried her best to get her mind around it, but in the end she just couldn't. (expand on that shortly).

       

      Luckily I never got involved in relationships so that was one hurdle I didn't have to deal with.

       

      My mom actually had a girls night out with me in Manchester just to see what it was all like.

       

      So I have to give her credit that she really did try to see things from my point of view.

       

      One night my mom had got seriously drunk and very aggressive with me, and where I normally just said thats it am off home, that night I didn't, I was like ok what is your problem with me? lets get this thrashed out once and for all.

       

      She said I had one boy and one girl, I don't want to loose my son.

       

      I said but you ain't loosing your son because I've never felt like a boy, and you still loved the person I am, just because I want rid of my penis doesn't make me any different as a person.

       

      To which my mom replied but you will never be my little boy anymore, he'll be dead and gone.

       

      We were always close as we were all each other had, but after that night that special bond we had was broken.

       

      Over the years I distanced myself away from everyone, one by one those in the family that either didn't mind either way or actively supported me died, then 8 years ago the last one to go was my mom.

       

      Like you Julie I too have health problems, those thoughts at back of my mind saying f*ck it who cares? live or die what does it matter? sometimes they shout the loudest and its really hard to not go with them, other times I'm more on the up and up and feel like there is hope.

       

      My advice to you is this, as it is how I live my own life.

       

      Make a list of the things you want to do, then break the list down in how you are going to make it happen, do not include anything that you need others to help you with it, the lists are there as if you was living alone in a bedsit somewhere with no support at all.

       

      Only once you can get that mentality of I can do this alone, can you then have the strength to deal with those who are both for you and against you.

       

      Now as others have said they've made things work by compromising, what things if any could you compromise on? how far could that compromise go? do you feel if you made that compromise, could you live with it for the rest of your life?

       

      One thing I would say though, if you are sticking to the all or nothing approach, look for alternative accommodation, check housing associations and private landlords, get some money saved up, find a gender counsellor rather than a normal one, they understand your feelings more.

       

      Get as much sorted as you can before you really cross lines and bridges that can't be returned from, doesn't help the pain and heartache but it really does help you move on quicker while dealing with it.

       

      I hope that helps in some way, but never ever give up hope, as the brightest stars shine most clear in the darkest of skies.

       

      Blessed Be xx

    • January 29, 2018 10:27 AM GMT
    • Hi Julie, I have a similar experience to Traci,Marsha,and Denise.Wise words.Just to say that as a Transwoman, you have to build that hope.

    • January 27, 2018 9:30 PM GMT
    • I understand how you feel love, for a long time I knew I was different I always felt a bit odd/not the same as everyone else, even some of my friends told me at times I was more like a girl, I didn't understand what they meant, by the time I started to "find myself" I had a family and also a career so I just ignored it, family grew up "so did I" and went with it all my family know (3 daughters 2 grandsons) they have been great, my wife tries to to be supportive but struggles with it ( I think she is hoping that it's just a fad and will pass ) I'm seriously looking for somewhere else to live, as at the moment I'm stuck in limbo and can't move on. So, anyone live in York Leeds area and would like a lodger ( I'm very well house trained ), I would love to hear from you.

    • January 25, 2018 3:15 PM GMT
    •  But even with that said, still today I say I wish I could have been born normal. Nobody wants to be trans.   

      Marsha nailed it in that one brief sentence.   There is always hope and there are lots of women on this site that have hoped and achieved happiness and contentment.

    • December 1, 2017 8:40 PM GMT
    • Wow, deja vu. It was actually 11 years ago this week I first told my wife what was going on with me. I had unbeknownst to her been on hormones for a year and a half at that point, and yes, there was some breast growth occurring. If you do a search in the forums for "The Evolution of Marsha"  https://gendersociety.com/forums/topic/4768/the-evolution-of-marsha , that's me when I had a different profile here, you can read about my journey with my family all the way up to my surgery in Bangkok. It's not all sugar coated and rosy, it's the real deal.

      But here I am 11 years later, 7 years post op, and now 2 years divorced but with my family still supportive, now being able to tell you for me it was worth it. Like you, I wanted my family and friends to be excited about my transition and happiness, but early on it wasn't there. One of the biggest things I learned in my transition is that we do not transition alone. Everyone in our lives also must transition along with us, except they did not have a choice in the matter. Instead they are forced to go through our transition, and because of that just like us, they must make life changing decisions on how they will live their own lives from that point forward. So put away the selfish be happy for me attitude, and instead, step into their shoes for a moment and attempt to understand what they are going through.

      I don't know you, and therefore can't say one way or another if a full transition is right or wrong for you. I can only recommend you do some serious soul searching and should you choose to proceed with transitioning, you understand and need to be prepared for the worst, the loss of family, friends, work and finances, and pray to God it doesn't happen to you.

      Transition is not fun and games. I consider myself fortunate to have successfully transitioned and now living a rather normal and productive life as most women do. But even with that said, still today I say I wish I could have been born normal. Nobody wants to be trans.

    • November 30, 2017 4:54 PM GMT
    • Hi Julie...my wife and family and I had similar reactions and for the longest time I could not understand why they couldn't "understand" what I was going thru.  They simply do not embrace it at all, but somehow I was able to hold the marriage together almost 10 years downstream.  I truly love my wife and vice versa and I wanted "my cake and eat it too".  She would be totally unhappy in an lesbian relationship and all as well...but what I did not recognize was seeing it all thru their eyes.  They would stand to lose a husband, a father, and all that that had meant to them.  Nobody wanted this outcome...so despite my reassurances that even though I'd physically morph and look different, I was still the exact same person inside that they always knew and loved.  Nothing would change there.  Hormones do not make you a different person, they just align yourself with "yourself".  It took a lot of time and plenty of tearful and very difficult conversations, but eventually we came to some agreements, compromises if you will, that allowed us to remain together.  With over 8 years of estrogen running my endocrine system, a ton of inner turmoil evaporated to where I no longer HAD to live 24x7 as me.  I simply was ME regardless of how I presented.  I learned to accept and love myself just the way I am and we knew that our marriage could remain intact, but only with a set of compromises.  While not perfect, it was enough for me and worth the sacrifices in order to hold us together.  Basically the compromises consisted of me agreeing to not appearing as "Traci" around the house in front of her and also our common circle of friends and neighbors.  In return, she gives me daily space to pursue whatever.  I am retired and have the luxury of ample free time.  So I'm out and about daily in femme and have developed my own circle of friends and interests.  She is also OK with me traveling to events and meeting up with others.  But I have morphed both externally and internally and am comfy presenting in drab or femme and when with her, appear mostly androgynous.  Either way I look, I'm just in a happy place.  

      So I'd suggest, rather than a "must win" approach with your family, have discussions that work toward suitable compromises that gradually allow you to climb toward your goals.  Over time you can add this or that and inch your way forward.  To me at least, this seems a far more reasonable solution than to just put it out there in an "all or nothing" situation.  That is if you desire to keep your marriage and family intact!

      I hope this is helpful and wish you the best going forward!

      Traci xoxo

    • November 30, 2017 1:56 PM GMT
    •  I would not just drop a bomb like that.  My wife knew that I was CD but we never discussed it any further and my mother has known for the last 10 years.  I know that it is a very difficult issue for some people to wrap their head around but when you don't do any kind of research to help your loved one, then what?  I am not right in my head and my heart but all my loved ones care about is my overall health.  As much as I appreciate that I need a little more.  My wife would support me if something medically caused me to have to remove my male bits and pieces but why not when I feel they don't belong in the first place?  She is not attracted to females but if I developed gynecomastica she would be supportive. I just don't understand why no one wants me to be happy.  I am trying to keep everyone else happy, where is my support?

    • November 30, 2017 1:30 AM GMT
    • Question for you Julie?

       

      Did you just drop the bomb on everyone all at once?

       

      Best wishes always...

       

      Traci xoxo

    • November 29, 2017 8:26 PM GMT
    • Must be very hard...but keep your chin up...things will get better. You have no choice.

    • November 29, 2017 4:07 PM GMT
    •   Why? Why did I have to be born like this?  I have finally hit the lowest part in life and am struggling to keep my chin up.  I am in a relationship with a ciswomen who hates that I am trans.  I have a mother who doesn't understand or support my decision.  I have no options... if I leave my wife I have nowhere to call home.  No one will look into how I am suffering and put themselves into my shoes.  My wife says she feels bad and wishes there was something she could do but she is one of the people who doesn't want me to take HRT. All the people in my life just want to look the other way when it comes to this issue but seem to be very opinionated about my other medical issues that I am ignoring because I just don't care anymore.  I am letting myself die because I feel all hope is lost.  I have a therapist and even she doesn't know what to say. Have any of you ever had similar problems?

    • January 8, 2018 9:53 AM GMT
    • It seems that the Annierichards site is down but secondtype.tripod has reappeared.

    • December 29, 2017 10:27 PM GMT
    • Late to the party as usual! I hope you all had a good Christmas & are ready for the New Year! Xx

    • December 27, 2017 11:21 PM GMT
    • Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year Alice. 
       

    • December 24, 2017 9:54 PM GMT
    • Have a great holiday.

       

      Alice

    • December 7, 2017 8:55 PM GMT
    • Well now that I learned all this, I suspect I'm spread out over the internet like a Hollywood hooker. Lol oh well, better ,now than never.

    • December 7, 2017 2:58 PM GMT
    • Yes! Gorgeous drawing! Vast approval! :)

    • December 7, 2017 1:21 PM GMT
    • Aw shucks - s'cuse me while I polish my ego (even more).

      Point taken - I'll just tiptoe out and find my coat........

    • December 7, 2017 12:15 PM GMT
    • Your obviously very talented.

    • December 7, 2017 9:56 AM GMT
    • Hi Christine

      Thanks for that. I guess the sensible compromise is to use an avatar up front and save actual photos to my album. That way members can still get to see the real me if they would like to. To try to make it a bit personal I've chosen a drawing which isn't me but at least I drew it.

      Robyn

    • December 6, 2017 7:08 PM GMT
    • As far as I know. photo's can only be seen by members, albums can only be perused by full members, BUT

      I know that the public forums can be seen by non members, ie, visitors on line, if you mark your profile as ''can only be seen by members'' then your contributions to the forums cannot be seen by none members.  None members cannot view profiles or the home page, articles or blogs.

      There again I have always thought. well if someone says saw your profile pictures on some weird tranny site, my question out loud, would be what are you doing trolling around on those type of sites.   If in doubt post an avitar.

    • December 6, 2017 3:40 PM GMT
    • Hi Everyone. As you may have seen I joined a few days ago and posted a photo of my femme self as requested. No problem there but then I became aware that my details and photo were available for non members to see with relevant google searches. Ok I thought , no problem' I'll just tag all my details for members only. Only problem is that there is no tag for my photo so the question is: If I have tagged all my individual details for members only does my photo and name remain available to non members? Pending an answer I have felt that I must remove my piccie since I live in a less than cutting edge English village with more than its fair share of dinosaurs (giving them a bad name actually) and really do not want to be outed to anyone I have not specifically selected.  I know this is paranoid but you can never take it (privacy) back can you?

      If I can get a Yes on security I will be very happy to re-post the previous photo but a No would mean an anonymized photo or worse an icon which I feel sort of defeats the object of joining such a great group of people.

      Anyway hope someone from the moderation team can help and sorry if I'm raking over an old issue (virtually certain I am actually)!?

      Robyn xxx

    • December 5, 2017 4:08 PM GMT
    • Yes.

    • November 22, 2017 12:52 AM GMT
    • You'll know it when you arrive in your "happy place"!  There's no mistaking it! (smile)

      Traci xoxo