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    • May 22, 2017 11:49 PM BST
    • Super news Vanessa and thanks for sharing - I am so happy for you!! : )
      Many great times ahead for you and your family!

    • May 22, 2017 3:37 PM BST
    • Well told the wife and was going ok, she knew something was going on we talk for about an hour and then she ask if the girls knew i said yes and everthing when downhill fast she started cying becaus he was not the first to know and the irls didn't care for her, then I started to say I so sorry for everything and I should had never came out to anybody. she when to sleep and I was all alone feeling so bad and crying and could not sleep very bad things was going though my mind that had not be there in a very long time I almost got out of bed and do the unthinkable then my girls face pop into my head once again they saved my life. still very sad and lonely I think I will be ok, sorry for dumping this on here just no one to talk to didn't want my girls to know how close I came last night. 

      Thank you

      Vanessa  

       

      Just had to tell someone else, I came out to my girls and they are so happy for me and are happy to help with makeup and anything else I may need help with, I had been telling them I had to talk to them after I talked to my wife but I just had to tell them they mean the world to me and I don't know what I would have done if they could not accept Vanessa, it was the hardest thing I ever had to do I"m so glad I did this it feels like the world has be lifed off my shoulders.

    • May 2, 2017 4:43 AM BST
    • So sorry i placed this under the wrong topic

       

      Alice x

    • May 2, 2017 4:09 AM BST
    • Hi

      I am loking for girl friendly hotels in uk/ europe to just visit and relax without any problems

      Does anyone have any suggestions/ experiance of staying in these places

       

      Thank you

       

      Alice x

    • April 29, 2017 8:58 PM BST
    • They probably think your couragous and amazing, sooner or later you will get around to thinking the same, I certainly do. xxXxx

    • April 29, 2017 8:49 PM BST
    • In a week I will have been out at work for two months. It is been more amazing that I ever hoped for. The number of misgenders/misnamings has all but stopped at work. Instead of a daily occurance it almost never happens now. When it does its with people I don't interact with a lot and they always correct themself's with in seconds.

       

      Yesterday we had the first of many women only events at work. This one we were raising donations, cash and physical, for a local women's shelter. It felt so good to be part of that and chatting with many of the ladies that I don't talk with a lot over lunch. 

       

      The one funny thing that I found out from my HR manager, in confidence, when I mentioned that the people have been so amazing and accepting and supportive that one of the guys told her: "If anybody hurts her I'm going to punch their lights out." She liked the idea but told him he needs to use his words, not his fists. :D

    • April 4, 2017 9:55 PM BST
    • I had an amazing appointment with my endocrinologist today! We increased the antiandrogens and started estrogen. That in and of itself was amazing. As well, I got the letter that the province wants to change the marker on my birth certificate to F officially! So, when my name change comes back in the next few weeks (takes about 6 to 8 weeks) I can then submit the form to change the gender marker on all of my identification as well.

       

      Work has still be great. The misnaming and misgendering are getting fewer and farther in between and everybody corrects themself as soon as they do it! This is really a magical year for me so far. It just keeps getting better and better!

    • April 1, 2017 11:14 PM BST
    • I've been out for almost 4 weeks now at work. It has been a wonderful ride. The company and the people have all been so supportive through out it all. I get misnamed and misgendered now and again but everybody corrects themselves right away so I'm happy. Washroom is still an issue that we haven't tackled but there are washrooms that I can use until we get it ironed out. In some ways I'm a bit more comfortable using the gender neutral ones that we have at the moment.

    • March 15, 2017 10:44 PM GMT
    • This amazing month keeps getting better and better. One week fully out at work and I'm so much happier, productive and the people have been great. Today I got the confirmation from my Gender Therapist that at our next appointment, the 22nd, she will have the letter that my endo needs before she will prescribe female hormones. I already have the appointment booked, April 4th, and I will have the form she wants and blood work done as well. You all helped me find the courage to do these amazing things. You are all amazing and I wish you nothing but the best. (warm hugs for everybody)

    • March 14, 2017 3:43 PM GMT
    • What sort of transplant?

    • March 13, 2017 11:53 PM GMT
    • Hey guys/girls,

      I am thinking of getting a transplant. I am wondering is there a quick way to find funds for the operation if you are unable or finding it difficult to pay.

      xx

      Bruce

    • March 11, 2017 11:56 AM GMT
    • It's really lovely to hear of such a positive experience, it warms the cockles, as we say in Lancashire. Canadians seem like really nice people on the whole, and if your experience is typical then it sounds like attitudes are similar to here in the UK.

      Misgendering and using former names is inevitable in the early days, but people will soon get used to the changes.

      So glad it's going well for you, Cynthia. Please keep us posted.

      xx

       

    • March 11, 2017 1:20 AM GMT
    • The first day at work as Cynthia was great! The company changed my email address, login and my name plate to all ready Cynthia. One of the girls I work with brought me chocolates to celebrate International Women's Day. Everybody I interacted with was so nice and there no weirdness. Day two was just as remarkable. I talked with more and more people in the office and they were all accepting and supportive. One of my long time friends at work came over and gave me a warm hug and made me feel so special with what she said to me. Today was just as nice. I was told, "You look so beautiful and you're so much more alive!"

       

      There are a few downsides still. I did get mis-gendered a few times and called by my old gender neutral name but that was by people I've known for years. I can't fault them because it is second nature to them at this point. Later on I was gendered correctly by them and called Cynthia. I've been delegated to use a gender neutral bathroom for the time being but my HR manager was talking with the ladies in the office and letting them know that eventually I will be using the women's bathroom. I will hear more about that talk on Monday.

       

      One thing that I find strange, but wonderful, is hearing people say Cynthia. Though it is my chosen name there were not many that knew it before I finally came out at work. Fewer still have ever said it aloud. Hearing people say Cynthia makes me feel so warm inside.

    • March 6, 2017 10:50 PM GMT
    • Mark March 8th, 2017 on your calendars. It is Cynthia's birthday. The day I stop living a dual life and live my life as Cynthia only. I'm happy, sad, scared, joyful, about a million different feelings.

       

      Only problem now is I have no idea what I'm going to wear for my first day. :D

    • March 3, 2017 7:59 PM GMT
    • While she can't give me estrogen until she receives the letter from my therapist my endocrinologist increased my testosterone blocker because the does is much lower than what is required for it to be effective. She also gave me the form so that when my therapist gets her the letter I can get the blood work done before the next appointment and she will write that presecription! This has been such an amazing fortnight for me. :)

    • March 3, 2017 1:14 PM GMT
    • Great courage...hope all goes well.

    • March 2, 2017 2:39 PM GMT
    • Super news Cynthia - I am so very happy for you!! : ) 
      All the best in each step along the way.

    • March 2, 2017 12:32 PM GMT
    • You go girl. Busy and exciting times ahead. Really am happy for you

    • March 2, 2017 2:30 AM GMT
    • Things have been just so amazing since my appointment with my GT last week. With her help I found to courage to come out at work. Today we came up with a transition/integration plan for work. I should be fully out and integrating my female identity in two weeks.

       

      Now, she is also going to work with my doctors to get me started on HRT. I called the endo's office to see when she might have an opening and she just happened to have a cancelation this Friday! I will go and get the form for the blood work. Then, once my gender therapist clears me for HRT I can get the blood work done and just have the follow up for the actual prescriptions!

       

      I've also got my name change forms ready to be witnessed by a notary public and be submitted to legally change my name to Cynthia! I will be doing that on Friday as well.

    • March 1, 2017 9:16 PM GMT
    • That's great Cynthia. So happy for you

    • March 1, 2017 5:21 AM GMT
    • i am so happy for you 

    • March 1, 2017 5:21 AM GMT
    • Cynthia Leigh said:

      I finally did it! I came out at work this afternoon during the touch point meeting my team has with our HR manager and team supervisor. It went exceptionally well. They were all so very accepting. It is a total relief to have this fear off my shoulders. That doesn't mean that I can wear a dress to work on Monday but we can start on the transition plan and coming out to the rest of the office. Knowing that there is acceptance, support and an end to the double life has me feeling so happy!!!!!!

       

    • February 27, 2017 4:10 PM GMT
    • I am so pleased for you Cynthia,.Its a relief.I remember when I did this at work,it seemed to open out a lot of new reactions from people,things just felt more real.Hope it goes well in the future

    • February 24, 2017 10:45 PM GMT
    • What a lovely person you are,    Well done    xxxxx   great that people are accepting and suportive,   some probably won't be but you are doing great.

    • February 24, 2017 10:34 PM GMT
    • I finally did it! I came out at work this afternoon during the touch point meeting my team has with our HR manager and team supervisor. It went exceptionally well. They were all so very accepting. It is a total relief to have this fear off my shoulders. That doesn't mean that I can wear a dress to work on Monday but we can start on the transition plan and coming out to the rest of the office. Knowing that there is acceptance, support and an end to the double life has me feeling so happy!!!!!!

    • April 11, 2017 8:53 PM BST
    • Thanks Donna-

      I am working on making an appointment with a super qualified local therapist, but my healthcare under my parents, which is an HMO, might not cover it, even when listed as depression, which is what she does, and if that is the case, idk what I will do

    • April 11, 2017 8:27 AM BST
    • Hi Jessica, Anyone who is in the minority of being Transgendered will know and feel that this letter is perfect.Sadly the vast majority cannot empathise with your situation .Transitioning may take years.It has taken me many years, including periods when it seemed the "Normal Expectations" overwhelmed me forced me back.On reflection things only really changed when I started to make time to transition from the inside out.I like your letter Jessica ,because you directly express that this is fundamental part of your being and development and rightly say that it is not a bad thing.Certainly make the appointments with specialists, and just make simple small progressive steps.You can change yourself, but you cannot change other people's reactions ,they have to do that themselves, just show that you understand it is difficult for them.Transgender people have always existed

    • April 11, 2017 12:48 AM BST
    • Lucy Diamond said:

      Very well written, Jessica. Good luck with everything.

      xx

      Thanks Lucy. Unfortunately I sent that to my parents in January of 2016, and it didn't go so well

    • April 10, 2017 9:17 AM BST
    • Very well written, Jessica. Good luck with everything.

      xx

    • April 10, 2017 3:05 AM BST
    • It has been a year, and they didn't exactly take it well, as I am still living at home, not transitioning in any way, and they won't really talk to me about it. Any advice would be beyond greatly appreciated, whether it is how to talk to my parents about it without blowing up, how to get my own place while living at home, etc. 

      I am going to post the link to the letter. It is a google drive file, so let me know if there is any trouble accessing it. 

       

      https://drive.google.com/file/d/0BxKGkql1AnzxRWZWa1lWUnlqZms/view?usp=sharing

    • February 13, 2017 10:59 AM GMT
    • Hi all.

      I am new to the group an a looking for help and advice. I have been starting to wonder more seriously of late whether my cross dressing which I have done since a small kid actually had a deeper underlying message.
      The reason I am unsure is that my fascination started with boots and has always continued in that theme but I developed a love for anything leather too. That said when i am dressed I feel totally at ease but do admit I get a kick out of the feeling too.
      The more I read into this there are signs I guess like always wanting to play computer games as a female. Fantasising about being turned into a goal. Having femme poses without realising and even a high pitched scream when scared. The latest one is the ring finger and index finger being the same size.

      Has anyone else been through something similar that can share their experiences. I can't imagine if I transitioned for example that I wouldn't want to wear boots all the time. Or would that disappear as it would be replaced with other desires.

      Any advice or help appreciated. Would love to meet others to discuss and share.

      Best

    • February 4, 2017 7:19 PM GMT
    • Thanks!

      That particular one did not work out but I've got a couple more in the works that are also pretty exciting!

    • February 4, 2017 6:59 PM GMT
    • Hope it all works out well for you Cynthia.  Please do let us know how it goes.

      Hugs, Katie   :)

    • January 31, 2017 10:16 PM GMT
    • A really awesome experience in regards to coming out today. The recruiter called me back for the second phone interview. We spoke about how my plan was to come out if/when I start the new job and actually start presenting female. She was so super supportive and started calling me by my chosen name, Cynthia. I'm so hoping that I get this position because I can start transitioning at the same time.

       

      Regardless if I get this new position at the new company I've decided that I've had enough flip flopping between male and female. I will be coming out at my current work, the only place I'm not out, as soon as I can connect with HR. It's been really hard because we've got this extremely important demo tomorrow and we have had to focus all of our time and energy into making this deadline. After this demo things drop off and I should finally be able to connect with her.

    • January 28, 2017 12:42 AM GMT
    • She loved my basic resume and asked me to update it. They are more than happy with me starting as Cynthia instead of my old self! I'm really excited about this new opportunity. I hope that the next phone interview next week goes well!

    • January 27, 2017 1:05 AM GMT
    • I was approached by a recruiter to see if I would be interested in a position with another company. Today we had a quick get to know each other interview that went swimmingly well. She asked me to forward my CV and I did. What is exciting is that it looks like they will be very supportive of me being me rather than the shell most people see on a day to day basis. I didn't want to jinx it by saying something but I'm super excited!

    • January 20, 2017 2:35 PM GMT
    • HI its nearly 12 month since i was last here and not much has changed except my wife going through denial and anger stages again so i stay in male mode all the time unfortunately my only time is with my daughter, having to go backwards and  take time is always hard but i hope that a positive outcome is to be had. well my daughter and i went on holidays for a week and we had one girly day and she did my makeup and said i look terrible, saw my facial response to the comment so she redid it and said 'now you re pretty!'

      It was clasic and she was really concerned that she offended me, she then without any coxing said i need to talk like a woman so we spent some time on raising my voice once we got it right she said now we are ready to go out. i still have issue with that as i am still having electrolysis and have the welts so no outing this time but net time we will be there.\

      Once again they do surprise you when you least expect it.

    • January 15, 2017 11:45 AM GMT
    • I've had jobs taken from me for being transgender . Did I Gove up being Jennifer. Hell no. I'm still me. No one could change that. I stood my ground eventually a good job came. And I love it. I didn't back down I was asked to detransition. I refused.

    • January 15, 2017 11:40 AM GMT
    • Bad situations are part of being a girl. There is no magic way to escape problems . Nor start and stop hormones at when u feel like it. I believe the use of hrts should be a permanent decision. And they can cause memory issues. But not really really bad. The hormones change more then just exterior. They work inside you. And even in the brain. This is not an easy road. It takes balls to live it.

    • December 16, 2016 4:47 AM GMT
    • As I tried to say is that the idea of reversing everything wasn't what I wanted. My doctor at the time had me very heavily medicated and I was in a really bad situation. So between her and my family I was convinced I made a horrible woman and I should never have started transitioning. The things done to reverse things were all this doctor's idea.

       

      Coming out as Cynthia will wait and I will stay in the closet. I will continue to be who my wife needs through this time. Even after she passes away I will take more time to make sure that this is the right decision for me and what I really want. That it is not just a rash decision to deal with grief. I don't believe it is as the feelings that I was born with the wrong body were there much longer than I started dating my wife. I miss being able to do the things that I was able to before my wife's health got so bad because there is always somebody here. Doing them would make things harder for her and that is the last thing I want.

    • December 16, 2016 1:22 AM GMT
    • Wow, I can't begin to try to unravel your past and relate it to your current situation, but for sure, now is not the time for "Cynthia" to emerge. The fact you took such drastic measures to "un-do" your initial transition, plus your subsequent marriage, should give you pause to seek help to find out where you are really at. Your wife needs you now, "Cynthia" can wait.....

    • December 16, 2016 1:21 AM GMT
    • Wow, I can't begin to try to unravel your past and relate it to your current situation, but for sure, now is not the time for "Cynthia" to emerge. The fact you took such drastic measures to "un-do" your initial transition, plus your subsequent marriage, should give you pause to seek help to find out where you are really at. Your wife needs you now, "Cynthia" can wait.....

    • December 15, 2016 8:36 PM GMT
    • This is going to sound fictitious but it actually happened. The fact that it was allowed to happen is a crime. Years ago I came out to my family, started transitioning and lived daily as a woman. I took anti testosterone drugs and female hormones. I was coerced/forced into returning back to living as a male. I stopped HRT and had breast reduction surgery to "undo" everything. As part of that process I had regular hypnotherapy to supress my femininity as well as extremely strong medications. In 2008 I ended up in a coma because of the doctor involved over did the medication. When i came to i had severe memory problems and partial amnesia. A lot of my memory still hasn't come back and a lot of it was filled in by others who knew me up until that point. After that I stopped seeing that doctor. Over time the feelings of my body not matching my spirit returned as well. In 2009 I met my wife after my mom passed away from a stroke. My father, the biggest reason for all of what happened occurred passed after complications from heart surgery.

       

      Anyway, today I still very much live in a man's world outwardly day to day. I've only come out to a few people about Cynthia. Partly because I was still trying to figure out who she was and for my wife's sake. The first person I came out to this time was my wife. She was diagnosed with ALS 18 months ago. ALS has ravaged her body and very soon she will be leaving this world, she won't make it through the weekend. She has been so supportive and helpful with Cynthia's emerging. We would shop for clothes, makeup, hair products, whatever Cynthia wanted or needed. I will truly miss her when she passes on. We also decided that I could transition some but not fully while we were still together. She would also get angry if she saw too much of Cynthia and not all of the person she married.

       

      Because my wife will be passing soon we've been hosting a lot of her family and friends as well as support workers coming and going. Her family and friends so that they can say goodbye while she is still here. They know nothing of Cynthia so she's has had to hide inside me for most of December. With the funeral arangements and holiday season coming up she won't get out much afterwards either. So, I'm a wreck dealing with my wife dying, her friends and family as well as hating that I haven't truly been able to express my inner me. I really just want to tell everybody to leave us alone or breakdown and cry. Neither is an opition though and it's been really tough to keep going this week. 

    • December 10, 2016 9:44 PM GMT
    • charlene lynn cook said:

      sounds easy enough.

      In re the aforementioned complaint and allegation by Plaintiff, wherefore Plaintiff prays for judgment and punishment in this matter...

      Except that there are no attorneys willing to represent transgender clients.

    • December 10, 2016 9:33 PM GMT
    • sounds easy enough.

    • December 10, 2016 10:55 PM GMT
    • I believe i understand what you mean gender dysphoria manifests in each person differently. Because today i discovered something new, there are girls that play metal screaming songs on the guitar like i do and the singing sounds masculine. Yet the girls appear to me like they maintain their female gender identity.

      I thought i was exploring gender identity late, some people say they know right from the beginning. My parents said i didn't play with dolls when i was younger, i played with other toys. Yeah "what feels right for you" is a helpful phrase. I have a theory i came up with for gender identity, if i'm the first to think of it. The  theory being "Gender identity is Biological expression and not is but requires either estrogen or testosterone" What do you think of this? I think of expression as art or music, that can't be completly described by words but only by hearing the song or seeing the painting. expression is feelings

       

      I dislike groups of more than a few people too. I can relate to feeling awkward because most conversations i have in real life are awkward because i just can't get the feel for it. Like i try to show approval of what people say by saying that's cool and smiling and laughing too much. It's difficult to know for me whether i'm saying the right thing when interacting with others too, because we can't read minds. The only thing i can be certain of sometimes is when i haven't written something bad.

      Me having dyspraxia I can definetly relate to starting small as dyspraxia is a learning disability. There's a counselor at college i've been thinking of asking but afraid to ask. the counselor is very kind and assured me that everything is confidential when i went there only for one session months ago, for something else without giving it a chance. That's good you've got a special friend to help you. I can't bring myself to tell anyone else other than my parents, and this gender confusion comes and goes.

    • December 8, 2016 3:47 AM GMT
    • What you need to remember is gender dysophiria manifests in each person differently because we are all unique people. Easy person expresses this idifferent ways because of this. You are in a very lucky to exploring your gender confusion at an early age and time is on your side in that regard. Take your time and figure out who you are see what "feels right" for you.

       

      I can relate to the social issues. I am extremely shy and more over dislike groups of more than a few people. I feel awkward and im never sure if i am saying or doing the right thing when interacting with others. My work is helping me overcome this because as part of my job I have at least daily meetings with the othwr  team members. Fortunately it is a small team so it was easier than if I had been a member of one of the larger teama. As I've had more and more of thee meetings I've gotten more comfortable. I have used this i in other areas of my life. I start small and work toward my goals. Some days it is hard and some times it is scarey but in the end it is worth it. Participating socially helped me learn that what I felt I was doing wrong other people are doing just those things. Just be you when you are interacting with others but also try to observe them and remember how they react in different conversations. I know it can be expensive but working with a therapist also helped me out here. I also found one special friend who helped me to the rest of the way to where I am today following my therapist's advice.

    • December 8, 2016 1:47 AM GMT
    • The LGBTQ group sounds normal to me like any other social group event. I've never really had much social skills, so another part of the feeling is wanting to live a different life even if i dont feel female and have parts of me that sometimes make me feel i am. If that makes sense. I'll keep that in mind that you both think the LGBTQ group was a good idea. Even if i buy female clothes online, still gotta somehow answer the door to recieve the clothes.

      That's good that there are people helping trans people in groups not just online, suprises me.

       

      Hi Cynthia, to say you only like playing female characters on games helps me to see how much one person can feel female. In comparion I've played male characters many times in video games before. Yeah i can see what you mean with anime being a similiar outlet, just like i can choose which anime girl i might see myself as on google images, you can customize your character with hair and makeup.