Recent Entries

• I liked my therapist

  by Kari Johnson November 6, 2008
  I liked my therapist and hope that we can turn things around for me and my family.  I don't expect to ever be cured of my transness as I don't believe it is a disease but rather a brain malady or disorder.  I am tired of my wife intecepting my hormone package shipments.  I suppose I will have to hav...

• tomorrow afternoon psychotherapy

  by Kari Johnson November 4, 2008
  Well tomorow is the first day of my psychotherapy with my wife and a psychologist.  I have left no question in my statements as to why I am there.  I am there to face and deal with my gender issues with my wife.  I cannot go it alone anymore and I am no longer hiding anything from her.  It is a good...

• Saw a new Psychiarist yesterday

  by Kari Johnson November 3, 2008
  I just wanted to let you gals know I saw a new Dr. yesterday and she has had experience working with transgendered patients.  I get a really good vibe from her and I think she may actually be able to help me deal with my issues.  My wife was with me on my visit.  We are also going to see a psychothe...

• Still in the game.

  by Kari Johnson October 20, 2008
  I just wanted to let anyone who may want to know that I am still around.  I am not well I am just existing day to day for the most part.  I have had some very deep and honest talks with my wife and she still loves me in spite of my transness.  She has said that she is willing to work with me in deal...

• It didn't work

  by Kari Johnson September 26, 2008
  I took over 20 xanax and 15 klonopin pillls as well as some doans nightime back pain pills .  I expected to die and was unafraid to do so but I didn't.  I did tell my wife about it and of course she is extremely concerned about my well being and mental health.  I can't see another path for me other ...

• Goodbye I Can't take this life anymore

  by Kari Johnson September 25, 2008
  I don't want to wake up another day with the same struggles only to fight them over and over again.  I can't take anymore of this life and I am choosing to end mine.  Maybe this is the easy way out and I'm sure my family will be sad , but I can't go on anymore.  Thanks to those who tried to help or ...

• OFF to bed

  by Kari Johnson September 19, 2008
  I made it one more day.  My heart hurts and I cried with a residents daughter whose father died today.  I know what that is like but at least her dad made it to 92.  I am wearing my ig fluffy oots as they always make me fell better somehow.  Kind of like a security blanket.  Cotton clothing is the e...

• Up for another day

  by Kari Johnson September 18, 2008
  Time to get ready to face another day and as I understand it can go either way.  I suppose it is really up to me how I face it.  In my heart I am vey sad and alone but I have a lot to be thankful for.  I need to try to focus on that.  The pain inside is very real and hard to ignore.  I will put on m...

• Still DOWN trying to find a gender therapist in Salem OR

  by Kari Johnson September 18, 2008
  I googled therapists in Salem but it looks like most are in Portland.  My own Psychiatrist said I would have to go up to OHSU.  So it looks as if when I go to see him in a couple of weeks I will be trying to get a referral.  I am in a bad place right now and have taken an overdose of my sleep meds 7...

• Dealing with depression issues NEED HELP

  by Kari Johnson September 16, 2008
  My wife knows of my crossdressing, but it doesn't really please her that I want to be feminine.  We are currently trying to work out my issues.  She says she can deal with crossdressing but she doesn't like it when I shave my body ie:chest legs.  She knows I am taking herbal supplements to help femi...